


Strawberry Gashes

by YaoiFanGirlSharva1990



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, M/M, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-08-10
Packaged: 2018-04-11 05:18:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 50
Words: 135,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4422881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaoiFanGirlSharva1990/pseuds/YaoiFanGirlSharva1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allen has gone over the deep end, can the stoic samurai show him how to love and live again? And who is this new mysterious face joining the Order? And why is Komui so head over heals for her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story belongs to YaoiFanGirlSharva1990, no stealing!

_ **Strawberry Gashes** _

****Warning** the rating is M mainly for later yaoi-ish chapters but mainly rated for suicide attempts, cutting and dark thoughts. **Warning****

**Most of the fanfic is in Allen’s POV.**

**All rights go to Katsura Hoshino, I do not own anything.**

 

_ **Chapter One- Turn Him Over** _

I lay there starring up at the ceiling of my room here at The Black Order with nothing much to do since the Millennium Earl and the Noah Family went off the radar. There weren’t even Akuma showing up much for us to go after so everyone was just hanging around. When the occurrences first slowed down my master General Cross had come back and whisked me away for more training. We weren’t gone for more than a month when Road Kamelot and Tyki Mikk ambushed us with some level three Akuma’s. Needless to say we were overwhelmed by their attack and when I was knocked to near unconsciousness I had no choice but to lie there and watch as my master was killed in front of me. Darkness had soon overcome me after that and I didn’t wake until three days later back in The Black Order’s infirmary. That was four months ago and each day it is harder put up this fake smile especially when I have to reassure everyone that I am alright. I am brought back to the world when a loud knock resonates from my door and I sit up starring at the area with blank eyes.

“Allen? I know you’re in there come on its time for dinner and everyone is anxious to go.” I hear Lenalee’s kind voice say after knocking one more time. Mustering up the courage I finally put on that fake smile.

“Sure, go on ahead I’ll meet you there.” I say as cheerfully as I could, but I don’t hear her walk away and that makes me a bit worried.

“Just take your time Kanda and I will wait out here for you.” She said happily once more and I trip over my feet upon hearing Kanda’s name. I stare at the door for a while before I dashing around my room hurriedly to change out of the pajama’s I had been wearing all day. I soon find myself standing inside my bathroom starring at the reflection of myself after peeling the shirt from me. My fake smile immediately leaves me my stare stuck on the red scares that lined up my arms. Finally tearing my gaze from the mirror I hurriedly pull on the black long sleeved cotton shirt hooking my thumbs through the wholes I created to ensure the sleeves stayed down. Next I changed into a pair of plain Jane black jeans and threw on a pair of black tennis shoes before walking out of my room to see that Lenalee had down what she said; her and Kanda stood across the hall quietly waiting on me to get changed.

“You two could have just gone without me you know!” I whined as playfully as I could. I was hoping they would have gone without me so I didn’t have to meet up with them. I wasn’t hungry, then again I wasn’t really hungry ever.

“If we went without you then you wouldn’t know where to go silly. Kanda, Lavi, myself and you are all going out to town to eat.” She smiled walking over to me and I swore my face paled to a few shades lighter just then.

“Sounds like fun Lenalee…lead the way!” I smiled and sure enough she grabs onto one of my hands and onto one of Kanda’s and begins dragging us towards the entrance of the order. I always wander how I get myself into these things. I just wanted everyone to forget about me so I could stay in my room and eventually fall into that everlasting sleep. I could feel cold eyes upon me and I was afraid to look, I already knew it was Kanda and I feared to look into his hateful gaze.

“So…uh, where exactly are we going Lenalee?” I ask slowly beginning to get annoyed of her dragging us along even after we joined up with Lavi.

“We’re going to that new club that just opened. It should be fun!” She giggled finally releasing Kanda and my hand to latch onto Lavi’s arm. I felt my feet slowly come to a stop every fiber within me screaming to turn and run back to my room, my safe haven. The chance never came when Kanda’s hand pressed firmly into the middle of my shoulder blades pushing me along his shoulder pressed against mine.

“Stop stalling Moyashi, by the looks of thing the both of us will be suffering through this.” His cold voice sent chills down my spine and a slightly relaxed. Even though this guy next to me could be a complete jackass at times I couldn’t help but feel calm around him. It had been a while since I did hear his voice and truthfully; I really missed hearing it.

“Once again Bakanda my name is Allen not Moyashi!” I hear myself snap almost playfully and I could see the small smirk on his face from the corners of my eyes. We soon caught up to the chatter box couple and Kanda’s hand disappeared from my back and the wave of anxiety came flooding back but my feet kept walking with the thought of Kanda next to me in mind.

“WE’RE HERE! Remember everyone this is a club so we are bound to get separated alright? Komui wants us home before four in the morning at least. So try for us to all meet back out here at midnight, if you wish to stay longer don’t meet up.” Lenalee explained before her and Lavi rushed in. I was just thinking of running off right then and there but pushed myself forward and walked into the loud building hands stuffed into my pant pockets looking around at all the people. Even before my whole personality did a 180 I never really enjoyed places like these and couldn’t understand how anyone could. There was no surprise that when I reached an empty bar chair I was by myself ordering a bottle of water leaning against the rail of the bar starring at people. Most were lounging around with their partners making out or doing something indecent. Then some of the normal people were out on the dance floor dance to the fast paced music. Strobe lights were going off rapidly and glitter poured down on the dancing people.

“Hey there sweet thing, looking for a good time?” I jumped looking to where the voice came from to see a woman standing there. I wandered how someone could where such revealing clothes.

“I’m sorry I’m not interested thank you.” I said nervously stepping away from the woman grabbing my unwanted bottle of water before heading down to the dance floor. I soon found myself lost in the music which had become a much slower song. Glitter still poured down from the ceiling above and I closed my eyes beginning to sway to the beat. I had slipped the water into my pocket and I was soon lost in my own world. I thought back to General Cross and how much I missed the man who was the only father figure I had after Mana died. I opened my eyes when fire sprinklers turned on ignoring the cheers that came from some of the people. It was good timing as I felt tears spill over my lids. My body soon came to a stop and I only starred up above me water dancing around me.

“ _Idiot get out of here!”_

His voice rang through my head the last thing I had heard him say before I was thrown through trees by Tyki. Clenching my teeth I began pushing my way through the dancing the crowd my sights on the exit. I knew none of them would know I had left and I knew they wouldn’t care. The moment I reached the exit I threw away the bottle of water and made a run for it.

“ _Look at you Allen. This is pathetic really. You’re being no fun at all. Too bad you just stay there and watch as we finish off your precious master.”_

Roads words stung deep into my heart as I stumbled over my feet barely catching myself with the wall. I fought the sobs that tried to tear through my throat and I pushed on back towards the Order.

“ _Listen to me Allen no matter what happens…don’t blame yourself for this. Stay strong and kill these bastards the next time you see them.”_

The final words before Tyki had run his hand through my masters chest. The scream I had let out then erupted from me as I collapsed to the ground once I entered the forest close to the order. I stayed there for a few moments longer letting myself slowly calm down replacing any fallen bricks from my wall fixing the mask I made sure to build perfectly. I let my mind become blank and I returned to my dark room. I kept the lights off the only light was from the moon and it was enough for me especially for the tiny window in my bathroom which was placed perfectly by the tub. I felt myself mechanically turn the water on hot slowly beginning to fill it. I pulled my shirt from body letting it drop to the floor more tears dripping from my eyes. My pants and boxers were the next thing I removed I don’t remember when I had removed my shoes and socks but they were in the other room.

“ _I know you can hear me Allen so listen up. You’re nothing, pathetic, worthless. When it comes to it don’t even think of fighting us you’ll only loose another precious person to you.”_

Tyki’s words had stung the worst and they ring loudly in my head as I slip myself into the now filled tub of hot water. The sting from the hotness no longer bothered me and a lip down until my head rested on the edge and my arms dangled over the edge. After a moment I sit myself up lifting the little razor from the attached soap holder. His words sound like they bounced off the walls from all around me. On both arms I make an incision width wise only deep enough for blood to seep out steadily but not enough where it’d bleed too much. I place the razor back onto the soap dish and hang my arms once again over the tub edges. Slowly the hurtful voices begin to fade and begin to slip under the water ignoring my bleeding arms fell in with me. The dull thud of my door being knocked on could be heard and I only ignore it. I want to still pretend to still be at the club. I don’t know how long I had been here but it was probably a little after midnight. I sit up in the tub and look into the now red pool.

“Allen?” I hear your deep voice and its alien to me. You sound so worried. “I know you’re hear I saw you run out of the club. I’m not good with words but you can talk to me. Everyone here at the order knows how much General Cross meant to you.” You continue and I find myself covering my ears and drawing my knees up. You’re not allowed to be nice to me, you never were before. Yu Kanda hates Allen Walker. It has to stay like that or everything I have built up will come crumbling down.

“I’m coming in Moyashi.” At that moment I feel a pulse of panic course through me and I rush to start to drain the tub.

“NO!” I hear myself scream once I hear the click of my door open. I had to f been careless in my actions. Everything was spinning after my head had connected with the tile floor of the bathroom. I hear you screaming at me but I can’t make out the words even as you wrap me in a towel. Even the hallway lights are blurry and all I can do is focus on your too perfect face and my world fades to black once you hand me over to Komui. Why do I feel like my freedom has been cut?

 

 

**There you go the first chapter. I know, I know I probably did horribly. Like I said it has been a LONG time since I last wrote a fanfic let alone updated any of my other ones. Tell me what you think ^_^ Please leave a review we would be so happy if you did!  
**


	2. Chapter 2

Strawberry Gashes

**I was actually surprised that it took me three hours to type up a chapter. GOD I’m rusty well lets hope that this one doesn’t take too long now that I’m in the zone for typing. Woohoo!**

_**Hanashi o suru: I’m so glad you liked the first chapter. I’ll try to update as soon as possible.** _

_**Kurie-tibiti: Yes the story is named after the song Jack off Jill. And thanks for the review. Though I am curious to how my style of writing is unique *curious face*** _

 

Chapter Two- A Candle is Lit

I had to of groaned a hundred times now fidgeting in this infirmary bed, I could always just up and leave back to my room but that would involve getting past Komui and Lenalee and possible even Kanda. Since I had woken up they were the only three I ever heard talk. Not to mention I have a baby sitter sitting in the wooden chair by the curtain that kept me shielded. I really didn’t mind Lavi sitting there, but the silence made everything suffocating. Also he didn’t know I had woken up since I aroused during the time he had been asleep and at this moment I was purposely keeping my back to ensure he didn’t know I was awake. I still fidgeted though, sleeping people fidgeted right? I mean people tend to toss and turn, so yes I was still asleep.

“Anything Lavi?” I heard Lenalee’s voice as the three who were out on the other side of the curtain walked in.

“Nope nothing unless you call trying to pretend to still be asleep nothing.” He had said causing me to stiffen up immediately. I should have guessed that anyone in the order would have been able to tell. I felt my knees begin to curl up into my chest and my arms form an X across my chest. I tried to stay calm and even out my panicking breathing but all I wanted was for them to go away and leave me alone. Was it so hard to wish to be forgotten.

“Allen…please. We just want to help.” I heard Komui say and a firm hand press down onto my shoulder. I didn’t realize how panicked I was until I had managed to sit myself at the foot of the bed curled up into myself my eyes wide in fear and focused on the white bed sheets.

“Allen calm down, we’re not going to hurt you.” He said again raising his hands.

“Coming from the evil scientist who uses him as a test subject half the time, yea you sound convincing you idiot.” Kanda snapped stepping towards me. My head jerked quickly over to him and he stopped in mid step his eyes emotionless as always but I could see the hint of worry in them.

“STOP! Stop looking at me like that! Stop worrying about me I’m fine!” I finally scream out but the worry only became more evident in them and I couldn’t stand it. I buried my head into my knees digging my fingers into my head.

“Allen look at you! This isn’t you so therefore you’re not fine! Stop acting like a child and let us help you!” Lenalee shouted.

“I don’t need help, if I did I would have asked for it four months ago! Please just leave me alone.” I begged and before I could even let out a yelp of surprise I was pinned to the wall by my neck.

“Kanda don’t that won’t help!” Komui shouted in worry both him and Lavi had grabbed onto his arm to try and stop him.

“Don’t need help?! Look at yourself Moyashi! You don’t eat unless we drag you out of that dark room of yours. You have been cutting for god knows how long. And you expect us to just listen to you and pretend you’re correct that you’re just fine?! Fuck that, I will not stand idly and watch you wither away into this darkness that you’ve put yourself into.” I could only stare at you. Your face clearly read anger but your eyes were so sad. I couldn’t understand why.

“Why are your eyes so sad when you’re so angry?” I hear my voice weakly ask and I reach out to touch the tear trail that had formed just moments ago. Your eyes widen in shock before you finally drop me.

“Komui I’ll let you move him into my room. There is more than just depression from the loss of someone precious. Have Lavi or Lenalee bring him I’ll be moving his things to my room.” Kanda said before taking his leave. I could only watch him leave feeling as my own tears fell down my face. I looked away though when Lenalee sat in front of me. I waiting for the lecture, hell I couldn’t blame her if she had decided to yell at me.

“Allen please look at me.” She begged and I couldn’t ignore her request, looking at her I fought back my own tears once more as she reached out and cupped my cheek.

“I can’t scream at you or lecture you. I know how you feel depressed wise and I could only wish I could say I know what you’re going through, but I don’t. Yes I lost my parents to an Akuma, but the Noah Family purposely targeted you. I know your recovery is going to be a real uphill climb and I will try not to get upset whenever you relapse. Just know that the four of us all care for you, especially Kanda. You should have seen him last night.” She explained thoroughly to me gently rubbing a spot on my head which was slightly sore. I couldn’t answer her and I only dropped my head so I could look into my lap.

“Why don’t you go and rest Lenalee, I’ll make sure he gets to Kandas room.” Lavi said walking over to the girl and helped her to her feet before grabbing my arm and I had to force myself to my feet. My legs felt wobbly and it took a few moments to steady myself and walk. Before we could leave Komui placed his hand onto my shoulder turning me slightly.

“I know how much you’re going to hate this from how you expressed yourself the last time I brought it up. Once a week on whatever day you choose I want you to come to my office, even if its to sit in there silently for thirty minutes I don’t care. Please though come and try to talk about what’s in that head of yours.” He said and I could only nod before Lavi gently placed his hand onto my back and began leading me down the hallway towards Kandas’ room.

“Why would you try and kill yourself?” Lavi finally asked stopping our walk before turning down the hall where Kandas’ room was located. I could only sigh and stare at the ground.

“I didn’t, I just did what I normally did. Cut my arms to take away the pain. I only made them deep enough to bleed just a little. Kanda showing up and walking into my room threw me into a panic I guess and I tripped out of the tub. Just please stop talking about it.” I say my wall already placed back up, I hear him sigh next to me. I knew this wasn’t the end and no matter what I don’t plan to stop, it’s the only way that will keep the voices away.

“Yo Yu we’re here.” Lavi shouted after knocking on the door and I step out of the way as Kanda’s door flies open sending the red head flying over the ledge across the hallway.

“Serves him right, he knows better.” I mutter not once looking up from my feet.

“Come on, I know how much you hate this but it’s for the better.” Kanda finally speaks grabbing onto my hand and pulls me into the room. Once again he shocks me with how gentle he was being.

_Pathetic_

My feet stop just barely entering the room as Kanda closes the door and makes his way over to the bed. Slowly the voices from that fateful day begin returning and there is nowhere for me to run, nowhere for me to hide. Kanda’s back is to me so I know he doesn’t see me as I push my fingers into my hair my palms pressing down over my ears.

_Nothing_

My feet travel me backwards until my back is firmly pressed against the door. How I wanted to shut up the voice of Tyki. His voice was driving me mad and thanks to last night and my stupidity I couldn’t silence the words. I soon hear Roads laughter in my head and I couldn’t stop the whimper that vibrated through my throat as I choke back a sob.

_Worthless_

Before I could scream out for the voices to stop I feel fingertips brush gently across my cheeks as hands are placed onto my own. I knew who it was, and soon his forehead was resting against my own. Tears fell from my eyes and the sobs finally broke through.

“Watashi wa inori tsuzukeru, Douka kono ko ni ai o, Tsunaida ten i KISU o.” Kanda quietly sang in japanese his deep voice flooding into me. Even though I didn’t understand a word he just said it was enough to make the voices fade away.

“K-Kan…da.” I managed to choke out unsure of what was happening or as to why he was being to so nice to me. I couldn’t stop the tears as the flowed faster down my cheeks. I stare into his deep emotionless eyes as his hands cup my cheeks letting my drop my arms down to my sides.

“Like I said before, I’m not good with words but you can talk to me. I promise to listen and not degrade you no matter what you say. I thought I lost you again…I couldn’t do anything before when we found you, but I knew this time I could do something.” You say to me and once again though your face is blank, your eyes are so full of worry.

“But….I thought…” I continue to choke out but you just quietly shush me running your thumbs over my cheeks to wipe away the tears. I feel my hands lift up and grasp onto your exorcist jacket.

“I don’t hate you, at first maybe, but over time all I wanted to do was protect you unfortunately I didn’t know how to change the way I originally acted around you.” He confessed and I knew that was the best love confession I was going to get out of Kanda. I’m soon led over to the bed and Kanda lays us both down, he kept his arms firmly wrapped around me as he began to sing again. The same song but from the beginning and I continued to listen as it slowly put me to sleep.

_The moment I had entered the dream, I knew exactly where I was and I shook with terror starring at all the candles floating about the circus like room. I spun around looking about everywhere but I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t see Road anywhere. I was so frantic that I didn’t pay attention until I was pinned on my back Tyki towering above me with his sick smirk upon his face, Road stood off behind him also with a smirk on her face._

“ _It’s been a while Allen, I see that you’re holding up quite as what we wanted.” Tyki laughed pulling the sleeve to my shirt down his fingers tracing over the scars from my cuts. I writhed under him trying to slip away in any way I could. I need to escape and get as far from them as possible._

“ _Stop moving or you’ll make it worst.” Tyki laughed my eyes widen as his knee pressed in between my legs and I instantly still feeling tears pricking at my eyes once more. His smirk widened and he leaned forward until his mouth was by my ear._

“ _Let’s see if your Kanda can protect you now.” He whispered before he forced his lips onto mine, my eyes widened and I began to try and push him off of me. When he pressed his knee further in between me I let out a gasp and he took that moment to plunge his tongue into my mouth. All I could do was whimper and listen to Roads cackling behind Tyki as his hands slipped under my shirt dancing lightly over my skin._

‘ _Wake up Allen….WAKE UP!’ I screamed at myself and everything froze before shattering leaving me in a void of darkness where I finally broke into hysterics._

Closing my eyes I curled up hugging my knees before opening my eyes finding myself starring up at the ceiling of Kanda’s room. I could hear his steady breathing beside me. Sitting up I looked over to his clock and it read 12:12 am so it wasn’t really all that late. Letting out a quiet heavy breath I stood from the bed not believing what I was about to do. After quietly rummaging through my bags I left Kanda a note then left not worry about shoes. I walked the empty halls of the Order until I came to the room I was looking for. Taking a deep breath I finally reached up and knocked unsure if he was even still at his desk or if he was already in his own room asleep. My thoughts though were answered when Komui opened the door and I watch his tired face soften.

“Come in Allen.” He smiled stepping aside to let me in and I complied walking into the dim lit room. Already I felt odd being here.

“I’m sorry for it being late.” I say in an almost whisper not trusting my own voice as it slightly cracked.

“Don’t be sorry. Is everything alright?” He asked leading me to the couch sitting down next to me. I sat there quietly sorting through the events that just occurred within my own mind. I hated this feeling of vulnerability.

“I was dragged into Road Kamelots’ dream world just moments ago or…I don’t know how long I was there…” I choked out and I just continued explaining everything that happened to me in that world with Tyki and by the time I finished I was curled up into my knees on the couch slightly rocking.

“And now you’re afraid to sleep.” Komui said after I had finished speaking and I knew what he was getting at. The Noah Family was finally coming for me.

“Let me see what I can whip up so you don’t dream for a while until you’re more mentally stable. Don’t hide this from Kanda or anyone else who asks. Talking helps keep that in mind.” He said helping me stand from the couch.

“Yea…it does. Thank you Komui.” I say he just smiles and pats me on the head we only share goodbyes before I leave where my smile fades once I shut the office door behind me.

“Moyashi?” My head snaps up and I see Kanda standing there leaned up against the wall. He watches me closely and before he can say anything or move towards me. I tell him everything that happened in my mind.

“Komui is going to make something that stops me from dreaming. Even I know how much I need to sleep.” I say walking over to him myself.

“Good, we’ll get you through this. No matter what ups and downs occur. I won’t leave your side.” You say and all I can do is smile and wrap my arms around chest, you return the hug kissing the side of my head.

“Lets go back to bed Moyashi.” You chuckle and we are soon walking down the hallway back to your room. It was a comfortable silence and I find myself leaning my head onto your shoulder my eyes closed.

“YU-KUN!” Once again the sound of Lavi getting smacked and thrown over the railing forces me to open my eyes and I see Lenalee standing across from me sighing. I look to see Kanda standing at the railing yelling down at the fallen Lavi.

“So how are you feeling? I couldn’t sleep knowing that you were so upset earlier.” Lenalee asks finishing the distance between the both of us.

“Just tired and can’t wait for whatever your brother is going to cook up to stop me from dreaming.” I reply to her watching Kanda as he wielded Mugen.

“Just be careful, especially since he’s pulling an all-nighter. He tends to get things switched up a bit.” She warns me and we’re jumped out of our conversation by an explosion. We turn to see Kanda attacking Lavi for the red head repeatedly calling him by his given name.

“Kanda is it really necessary to try and kill my boyfriend!” Lenalee asks her fists beginning to clench by her sides.

“Yes it is I am tired of always repeatedly telling him to stop calling me by that name!” Yup, Kanda was angry once again but at least this time it wasn’t aimed at me.

“Kanda…” I begin to say wanting to ask if we could just go back to the room, but within an instant I lost my courage and just stood there my hand across my chest on my arm starring once again at my feet. I feel myself slightly jump when your fingertips gently touch my cheek.

“Let’s get you back to the room. You seem nervous.” I look up into your eyes and find myself amazed at how easily you can read me. I can hear the slight happy squeal from Lenalee but I push it to the back of my mind.

“ALLEN!” We both jump at the sound of my name being called and turn to see Reever running up to us. “Here this is from Komui.” He got strait to the point holding out a bottle to me.

“He already completed it?” I ask stunned taking the pill bottle from him, the warning from Lenalee putting me slightly on edge.

“Yea, but becareful he was half asleep while working on this. Just take one tonight not two that is until I have a fully awake Komui to double check on your new prescription.” Reever explains and all I do is shrug and nod my head to let him know I understand.

“Just tell my brother that if anything weird happens to Allen I’m going to come after him!” Lenalee threatens causing all of us minus Kanda of course to laugh nervously.

“Well, let’s see if I can get anymore sleep tonight.” I laugh nervously the feeling in my stomach becoming more and more evident as Kanda and I begin our way back to the room.

“You know if you don’t want to, you don’t have to take them tonight. You can wait until Komui re-checks his work. We both know this is probably not going to end well.” Kanda voices his concern and I can only sigh walking into his room first.

“For now, I’ll trust Komui since it seems he genuinely wants to help me. But I swear on Mana and Cross’s grave that if anything weird occurs to me, he is a dead man.” I say darkly feeling my ever prominent dark side slip out walking into Kanda’s bathroom so I’m not swallowing the pill dry.

“I feel sorry for anyone who gets on your bad side, that dark side of yours truly is something to fear.” Kanda chuckles taking a hold of my wrist after I finish taking the pill and lead me back to the bed, I’m slightly hesitant to lay next to him. I remind myself that he is not Tyki and that he wasn’t going to hurt me. I lay next to the dark haired man I slowly begin to grow deeper feelings for more and more letting my eyelids slip close burrowing my face into his chest when his arms securely wrap around me.

“Have sweet dreams my Moyashi.” I hear him whisper and soon I find myself back into the black void of the dream land a wave of numbness washing over me and I soon realize these pills were going to do something to me when I am sent right back to Roads little world.

“I hate you Komui.” I say before I begin to keep myself hidden hoping neither the annoying girl nor Tyki will find me.

 

**Well there you have it Chapter Two is up! So I need some help…What should happen to Allen? Well pill side-affect wise? I have no idea what I should do. Any and all suggestions are welcomed! LOL I hope you enjoy the chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter will be a bit comical seeing as Komui accidentally does something to our poor loveable Allen. And I wander how Kanda is going to react.**

 

Chapter Three- I See Through Him

I couldn’t believe this, how could everything wrong always happen to me! At this very moment I was hiding behind a large beach ball my knees hugged to my chest as I began to lose hope. Every now and then Roads loud laughter would echo around the room and Tyki’s taunts to come out. He made empty promises to not hurt me. I knew better though than to believe him, I prayed that while sleeping that I was tossing turning. Kanda was bound to be woken up by my movement. When things fell silent I couldn’t help but become worried and I crawled to one side of the ball and peered around to see if I could see anyone there. The moment I did though I regretted it when my face collided into someones knees.

“Looky what I found Road, our guest of honor.” I looked up at Tyki my face contorted in fear, there was no time to react when the man pushed me onto my back pinning me down by my wrists, him straddling me.

“Get off!” I begged whimpers leaving me while he only laughed at me.

“Oh come now Allen! It’s not that bad, you should be happy that someone loves you even a little bit!” Road lectured kneeling down by my head. I couldn’t understand why this was being done to me, why was I the main one they were coming after.

“Awe…Don’t cry Allen. We hate to see your tears.” Road smirked brushing her knuckles over my tear stained cheek playfully. Tyki chuckled leaning forward nipping at my neck, I couldn’t only stare up above me as I finally gave on trying to even fight back, there was no use.

“Um…Tyki…something’s happening to him!” Roads startled voice alerted me and once I began to focus again that’s when I felt it. It was an odd feeling slightly painful but overly odd. I felt like I was shrinking the moment Tyki had jumped off away from me.

“You’ve got to be kidding.” Tyki hissed standing there next to road with his arms crossed. When the feeling finally subsided, I was right about one part. I did shrink. Road and Tyki both towered over me. I was confused though as to why Road fell over onto her side laughing crazily pointing at me. I went to ask her what was wrong with her nothing came out but a chirp.

“Oh this is priceless Tyki! To think…you almost committed beastiality!” Her words caused concern to rush through me and I ran to where I saw the nearest ground level mirror. I was unsure as to why I was running on all fours but I didn’t care I need to see. The moment I looked into the mirror I felt my world shatter once more.

‘KOMUI! YOU TURNED ME INTO A SUGAR GLIDER YOU BASTARD!’ I screamed in my mind beginning to bang my tiny little fury head against the mirror. I didn’t catch what Road had said but I knew that this moment would occur again. The world faded away and I re-awoke back in Kanda’s bed still in the sugar glider form.

‘Okay Allen don’t panic….whatever you do…don’t panic!’ I thought tacking squeaky breaths standing on the bed. But my calmness was short lived as I began scurrying around Kanda’s bed in panic wandering how this was going to be fixed.

“Moyashi…go back to sleep.” I heard Kanda mutter tiredly pulling the covers over his head laying onto his stomach. I silently cried before running over to Kanda and began jumping on him in attempts to wake him up.

‘Wake up, wake up, wake UP!’ I repeated in my mind as chirps came from my vocals instead.

“MOYASHI!” Kanda yelled angrily jumping to sitting up which sent me flying across the room. Thankfully it turned to a glide and I landed gracefully on his dresser no harm done. Turning I could only turn my big black eyes into a glare at him. I understand he becomes grouchy when woken up suddenly, but seriously that’s no reason to over react!

“….Moyashi?” He asks once he notices I’m not in the bed and he’s over to me examining the transformation. I can only huff at him.

“Oh my, this is bad.” He finally says lifting me up into his hands before sighing.

“ok, ok we’ll fix this. Stay here while I change.” He instructs setting me back onto the dresser and rushes off to begin changing into his Exorcist uniform. I look around becoming bored quite quickly that I backed myself up to the wall and took off running jumping form the dresser spreading my arms and legs. The feeling of gliding through the air, the problem is knowing how to stop. I never figured it out before I became one with the wall and fell backwards onto the bed my legs twitching.

‘So this is why humans shouldn’t learn how to fly!’ Thought to myself feeling myself lifted up and cradled, looking up Kanda could only shake his head before lifting me up higher and slipped me into the inside pocket of his jacket.

“Let’s just keep you hidden until we reach that crazy ass Komui.” He stated and I complied curling up in his pocket listening to the surroundings as we entered the hallway. It sounded like everyone was slowly waking up anyway and probably heading to the cafeteria for breakfast.

“Hey Kanda, where you headed and where’s Allen? Is it really okay to leave him alone?” Lenalee’s voice was as chipper as ever and it was funny at how Kanda sighed.

“No Allen isn’t alone he’s in my inside jacket pocket and we’re headed to go kill your brother. Would Usagi and you like to join me?” His voice was back to its moody tone.

“HEY! Don’t call me Usagi Yu!” Lavi yelled and I guess he tried to hit Kanda but only missed and ran into the wall behind us.

“Gladly…could I see what happened to Allen though please?” Lenalee asks politely and I knew she was holding her hands out.

“Sure just make sure he doesn’t try to fly.” Kanda chuckles and I only huff as he pulls me out and sets me gently into Lenalee’s hands. I get a bad feeling when I see her eyes go funny and she starts calling me cute and cooing at me. I could only narrow my eyes at her and soon she realizes it and laughs nervously.

“Sorry Allen, I guess I got carried away. Let’s go get Komui so he can fix this.” She says setting me atop of her head and I have to say this was better than trying to fly.

“So do we have any clue as to how this happened and when he’s going to change back?” Lavi asks reaching up and begins scratching behind my tiny ears. I unwantingly begin to pur and soon his hand retracks when Kanda growls at him.

“No clue except for this is the result of the prescription pills he was given last night. I knew he probably shouldn’t have taken them. Like Allen said early this morning, your brother is a dead man.” I shudder at the evil smile that protruded from his face.

“Kanda…um you went scary.” Lenalee warns and I find him starring at me once more.

“Sorry Moyashi.” He says reaching over and runs his hand gently from my head and down my back and along my tail which curls around his hand. It doesn’t take us long to reach Komui’s office and I am now riding on top of Kanda’s head snuggling into his hair. It was so soft and I felt so comfortable there that I refused to move for anyone.

“Oh hello guys what can I do for you?” Komui asks in his ever so cheerful voice. I let out a squeak when Kanda suddenly lifts me off his head and holds me out to the crazy man.

“Change him back you bastard!” Kanda yells angrily again and I wave my tiny paw at Komui suddenly feeling shy all of a sudden.

“Is that Allen? Oh my now I see why Reever wanted me to check over those pills I gave him. I guess I gave Allen the ones I was preparing to give Lavi for dating my sister.” Komui laughed sheepishly.

“Oh well time to fix it.” Komui suddenly says pulling out his large drill and I find myself suddenly out of Kanda’s hand and scurrying out the office door.

“Moyashi get back here!” I hear Kanda yell and I knew he was now chasing me.

‘There is no way you’re leaving me alone in that forsaken room with that crazy ass Komui! NO WAY IN HELL!’ I scream to myself scurrying up a drape that hung over the ledge and jumped off so I could glide down below.

“Moyashi you’re over reacting stop running from me damn it!” Kanda continued to yell at me.

“Don’t worry Kanda I know a way!” Lavi’s yell came next.

“Big hammer little hammer extend!” came his next yell and I panic when hammer connects to the lower level where I was headed.

“Moyashi!” I barely dodge Kanda’s hand pulling my skinny arms and legs to myself beginning the quick decent to the bottom floor. Kanda quickly follows and my eyes widen as I try to speed up my decent to the floor which is anything but a soft landing. But I have no time but to hurriedly scurry away when Kanda lands gracefully on his two feet still following.

“Moyashi I swear I’m going to beat you black and blue if you don’t stop running this fucking instant!” I freeze at Kanda’s words and slowly turn to him my eyes now wide in shock and fear as I slowly back up. He stops running himself when he sees my scared face.

“Moyashi…” He says but I don’t hear what he says before slipping through a crack in the wall and escape. I ignore his calls for me finding a small pocket and curl up whimpering. I just want to disappear again. Maybe being a sugar glider won’t be so bad. They’ll all eventually forget about me. Once the coast is clear I’ll sneak out and make my way into the world. Not even the Noah’s will recognize me. I lay there with my head on my tail sniffling and whimpering. I should have known better than to expect that Kanda would be nice to me forever.

“Allen hey it’s my Lenalee. Please come out, I’ll make sure Komui doesn’t do anything weird to you. Besides the drill wasn’t meant to scare you, it was meant for Lavi. So please for me will you come out?” She sounded so said calling to me, but all I could do was lie there letting out more whimpers.

“Come on Lenalee let’s give him some space. I shouldn’t have said what I said.” I heard Kanda’s voice and my eyes just narrow. I listen as they walk away and soon I to venture out of the crack starring after the backs of my three friends. Looking up I notice an open window above and so I scurry across the hall and begin my climb up the stone wall using the cracks to help me up. Sitting on the tiny ledge I look across the morning sky over the trees.

“Allen?!” It was Komui’s voice but I don’t look back taking a step closer to the edge and peering over the, though the distance of how high up I was should have scared me, I was anything but that. The wind blew through my white fur and it felt really nice. “Allen, you get away from that ledge this instant! Think rationally, I didn’t mean any harm I swear! LENALEE, KANDA, LAVI COME HELP ME WITH THIS SUICIDAL CHILD!” I hear Komui panic a ladder hitting against the wall the thud shook around me and I peered over the ladder glaring down at Komui sticking my little tongue out at him before turning again and running off the ledge spreading my arms and legs. If I was still human a huge smile would have been spread across my lips and there probably still was one.

“ALLEN!” I hear Kanda yell more me but my happiness of feeling this free feeling overwhelmed me and I continued to slowly glide the trees drew closer slowly as I descended. As I land on a branch of a tree I use my gliding abilities to continue gliding through them until I reached town. I scurried through the road making sure not to get run over or stepped on once I reached the sidewalk. I couldn’t believe how everything was so big once you had shrunk down to the size of a gerbil.

“Oooooo~ Look how adorable Tyki!!!” I panicked and tried to scurry away but I was unfortunately grabbed and now starring into the face of one of my worst nightmares. Road Kamelot, in her human form.

“Can I keep him? Can I keep him? Please, please, please! I’ll make sure to take care of him, love him, and much more!” She wailed happily hugging me as close to her as possible. I had to be in shock because, I was to frozen to move. But at least the witch didn’t recognize me at all.

“Sure Road, I don’t care, but he is your responsibility not mine got that?!” Tyki said giving the small girl a stern look.

“YAY! I get to keep you mr. cutie! How about we call you Allen?” Before I could react to the name I was grabbed from Road by Tyki.

“You may NOT call this rat by my Allens name. Call it something else!” Tyki snapped, even though he had grabbed me by the scruff he was being quite gentle with me.

“Hey don’t get mad Tyki, I just thought it could be funny to call him that since Allen did get away from you by turning into the same thing. But fine I’ll call him Snowball” Road laughed Tyki finally handing me back to her.

“Fine, because of what my little bitch pulled I now hate these things. Just keep it away from me.” He hissed and began walking towards the exit of the town. Road puffed out her cheeks before lifting me up and rubbing her nose against mine.

“Don’t worry little fella he’s not always that bad. He’s just in a bad mood he didn’t get to spend much time with his new pet.” She said, if I hadn’t known these people I’d feel sorry for the guy, but now I needed to get away. Suddenly even after everything, I wanted my friends back.

“Hey Tyki, go on ahead okay? I’m going to go and buy Snowball some food for when he gets hungry.” Road smiled running off before Tyki could even give her an answer. I watched over her shoulder and saw Tyki lean up against a tree a serious thoughtful look on his face. Again if this man didn’t try to rape me every time we encountered or wasn’t my enemy in general. I’d feel sorry for him. Soon Road and I were back in the central of town. She didn’t seem to know who I was and so I decided to take a chance to get away. I nudged her cheek with my nose causing her to stop and look to me.

“Snowball?” She asked and I gave her my best happy animal face before nudging my nose off somewhere in the woods then looked back at her. She starred at me for some time before smiling sadly.

“I get it. You have a home somewhere else. Too bad I bet you and I could have been great friends along with Tyki and everyone else. It’s okay though go on…go home.” She said and I couldn’t help but lick her cheek before poking her cheek with my nose and scurry down her before scurrying across the street and into the trees climbing one where I could still see her. Road did look sad and I did feel bad but we were enemies and I knew the two of us could never be friends in any way. And the same goes for Tyki and I, or anyone else in the Noah family. I sat there watching Road until she walked away using the back of her hand to wipe at her eyes which made me feel even more horrible. Which reminded me, I needed to get back home it was getting dark. Running down the tree I made my way back onto the sidewalk and began running down it hoping I could get back to the Black Order. By the time I reached the edge of the forest where it would lead me back to the order the sun was already setting and I hadn’t seen or heard my friends. I was losing hope when a group of three were coming up the side walk by the forest entrance.

“Don’t worry Kanda we’ll find him, kay?” I heard Lenalee say, my heart leapt in joy and I was about to run out to them but memories from earlier that day stopped me and I just shrunk back letting out a tiny whimper.

“Yea but the world is big especially now for him. I don’t want him to get hurt and I need to apologize to him properly.” Kanda’s voice rang out before the disappeared into the brush of trees. Sighing I ran out into the street avoiding the many cars causing one to swerve but thankfully there was no crash and hurried into the trees trying to catch up to them as quickly as my tiny legs would let me. But they were already so far ahead of me. I panicked an in my mind I was screaming for them to wait but it came out like a screech and I began to whimper again. I was so tired and just couldn’t run anymore. I had no idea if they had heard me or not until I was lifted someones head gently rubbing against my own. Opening my tired eyes I saw it was Kanda and I smiled nudging my nose against his nose before licking it.

“Lets get you home Moyashi, Komui has found a way to return you to normal.” He said placing me onto the top of his head where I fell asleep from exhaustion. I woke again in the infirmary starring up at the ceiling taking a breath I lifted my arm and let out the breath I was holding elated to see my human arm once again. Looking to the clock that was in there it was barely eight and I was excited to know I had at least not missed all the meals of the day. Sitting up I draped my legs over the edge and stood. I still felt the wave of depression flowing through me. Kanda’s hurtful words still stung and though everyone would be disappointed I headed back to my old room which I knew I still had access to. I knew no one would be expecting me to be awake just yet. Walking down the hallway my hands were stuffed into my pockets and I was starring ahead of me glad for the empty space. My room wasn’t that far from the infirmary so getting there took no time at all. The door was unlocked still and I made my way inside and into the bathroom locking both doors as a precaution to what happened just two days ago.

“Master if you knew what was going on, you’d be so disappointed in me. You’d probably have stopped being my master and abandon me. I want to stop and I try to stop but I can’t, I can’t stop something that makes me feel better.” I mutter mostly to myself rolling up the sleeve to my shirt I make two tiny incisions. One for the first night in Kanda’s room when I could run and hide and the second one for today. Tears are running down my cheeks before I could even start the second one so I blindly cut feeling the warm liquid cascade down my arm. The feeling sending waves of pleasure through me as everything slowly swept away. I knew everyone was going to get angry with me even though some promised not to. I’ve seen what these things lead to and I know what was going to happen once they found out. After a while I clean both cuts and wrap them up with medical gauze. Hiding them with the long sleeved shirt I hide the tiny razor under a block of tile, it was my secure hiding place once everything was in its place I leave that dark room and make my way towards the cafeteria. I was hungry, not as hungry as I used to be, but hungry enough when you don’t eat two meals in the day.

“Allen you’re awake!” Lenalee cheers rushing over to me wrapping her arms around me and like my smiles I could only fake laugh but none the less it was the best laugh I could give.

“Go have a seat I’ll get you your food. It’s funny, Kanda left a bit ago to check up on you. It’s weird that the two of you aren’t coming back together.” She said before running off and I feel myself go pale in the thought of Kanda possibly knowing what I was doing. Shacking the thought from my mind I sat at our usual table none the less becoming paranoid.

“Everything alright Allen?” Lavi asks and I look up to see him staring at me. In normal cases it would just be a stare but this one read that he knew I was hiding something.

“Yea just a bit exhausted from everything that went on today. Why wouldn’t anything be alright?” I ask laughing nervously.

“Oh I don’t know other than the fact you paled after speaking to Lenalee and now that there is an angered Kanda standing behind you I guess could make anyone guess that you’re hiding something.” Lavi states matter of factly as Lenalee had returned. My head was downcast my hands clenched into tight fists. They knew and because of this I knew I was growing anxious waiting for the angered samurai behind me to start yelling or even for Lenalee to start yelling.

“Allen…” Lenalee began but I cut her off.

“I’m sorry! I couldn’t help it, please…I’m sorry.” I whimper my arms slowly beginning to encircle around myself. Everything was quiet and I’m surprised when a pair of arms wrap around me.

“Baka Moyashi!” His voice is full hurt and his hold only tightens around me. I can only lean into his touch trying to calm myself, trying to reassure myself that they didn’t hate me. No yelling came from anyone, there wasn’t even any lectures. Eventually we all went back to eating our meal normally like nothing happened. I could only hope that my world would return to normal.

“So Komui said he should have your full line of prescription ready for you in the morning, he’s already explained everything to Kanda so you don’t have to feel bad if the two of you end up pulling an all-nighter tonight.” Lenalee speaks up and I groan out in frustration thumping my head against the table.

“Exactly how many prescriptions is he giving me?!” I ask reaching over to Kanda’s hand hesitantly taking it into mine. I smile to myself when he himself closes his fingers around mine.

“Three, one for the dreams he said he isn’t sure if there are any side-affects. Then you have your anti-depressants and the anti-anxieties.” Lavi explains this time.

“….Komui is an ass.” I mutter but give up either way. Looks like my life was about to get even more complicating.

 

**Well there you have it two chapters in one day…YAY! Well I dunno how I came up with turning Allen into a sugar glider. All I knew was I didn’t want him being turned into a cat since I’ve seen that done…..LOL xD. Well hope everyone likes the slightly comical chapter. There will be a few comical chapters here and there. But yea.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Strawberry Gashes**

Chapter Four- Blow It Out

A good week had passed since the day I had been turned into a sugar glider and not even a day later Kanda was unfortunately sent out onto a mission. It was to a place where they heard rumors of their being innocence in a small town outside of Dublin, Ireland. The last that I heard from Komui they were getting close to locating the innocence so he still wasn’t coming back to The Black Order quite yet. After my transformation incident I couldn’t trust the prescriptions Komui had given me so everything had just become ten times worst. A few days ago Lenalee and Lavi were both sent out on missions and so I was finally complete left alone. I spent a lot of my time in my own room sitting in the middle of the bed rocking back and forth constantly. Overall since the day Kanda had left I couldn’t help but cut a few times, the voices had returned and the first night on my own asleep I had encountered Tyki and Road once more and was able to barely break out from it before anything could happen like always; so now I wasn’t sleeping anymore. To avoid any curious stares from anyone I had also stopped eating completely and just kept myself cooped up, Timcanpy would try and grab my attention but it would never work.

At the moment I had locked myself away in the bathroom laying on the tiled floor with tears streaming down my face. The voices wouldn’t stop and I didn’t know what to do and without Kanda or the others, there was no one there for me. After a bit I sit up and for a second time that day make more incisions up my arms watching in curiosity as the blood ran down my arm. I soon lay back onto the tiled floor where the blood began to collect in the already formed puddle. Blood was also caked into my hair and I slowly begin to become dizzy. Today was a really bad day with the heavy snowfall outside and no one coming to check on me yet. I was soon fading in and out of consciousness when I finally decided to sit up and clean up my cuts and wrap them before I began to clean the floor where I let a puddle form. I had a problem and I knew that but with how many relapses I’ve had now since Kanda had left. I couldn’t go to Komui about it because the first thing he’d ask would be about me taking my prescriptions and the moment he knew I wasn’t I’d be put under very careful watch. When I was sure everything was cleaned up I changed out of my pajamas and into my normal all black outfit making sure to keep my thumbs hooked into the wholes I created in the shirt sleeves then walked out of my room right as Komui walks up.

“Oh Allen, there you are I’ve been looking for you. Good news Kanda should be returning home sometime today. In the mean time I need you to meet up with Miranda and head into town for some grocery shopping. We’re running low on things in the kitchen and Jerry is busy getting things ready for something. Could you meet up with her at the front gates?” I could only stare at Komui stunned trying to figure out what he could be cooking up now, but decide against it and just head off towards the main gate where I could already see Miranda.

“Good afternoon Miranda.” I greet her with a smile and she to returns the smile.

“Good afternoon to you to Allen. How is everything?” She asks as we head out to leave towards the town.

“A bit rough but I’m hanging on. Everything will be better once Kanda gets back.” I explain linking my hands behind my back looking up to the sky snow still falling heavily upon us. Miranda was one of the few who knew the predicament I was going through. Yes, she had over reacted upon finding out, but in the end became a great person to talk to when I was afraid to talk to Komui or Kanda. Most of the time she was the one I went to after relapsing and every time she was very supportive and would help me last a while before I had another urge.

“You’ll get through this Allen. Just remember if you want to get to the first step of recovery, you must get rid of all your tools of self-harm.” She explains resting her hand onto my head and gently patted it.

“I know…it’s just so hard.” I whisper finally looking down to my feet taking long steady breaths. After that we just walked in silence only one goal in our minds.

_Get the grocery shopping down before freezing half to death._

We decided on getting all of the cold items done first so I could take them back to the Black Order. Yes it was almost below 0 but the cold food items could still spoil if not kept at a steady cold temperature. A few hours had passed by and the cold was beginning to make me feel quite tired and it was becoming harder to keep my eyes opened.

“Well that should be it for the cold food items Allen you can head back now. I shouldn’t be long with the rest of the items. I’ll meet you back at the Order.” Miranda smiled handing me the last bag which contained a gallon of milk.

“Of course, be careful and keep warm. See you later.” I wave easily lifting up the many bags we had acquired. Walking back to the order I never made it back. I had decided to take a rest at the last cross walk which would lead to the forest path of the Order. I was standing at the curb trying to get my eyes to focus or at least force my legs to move forward so I can get back half blindly. The bags were slowly weighing me down it was finally official that I was too tired and too weak to even move. I know Miranda was going to become worried the moment she found me. I was continuously trying to tell myself to move forward but the more I did the more I found myself leaning forward into the street. I could only pray that someone would come to my aid as everything kept blurring in and out.

“MOYASHI!” His voice rang out around me before arms are wrapped around me and pull me into a firm chest.

“…Kan…da.” I manage out as all I want to do is fall asleep, but I knew once I did I’d be in the clutches of Tyki for quite a while…I couldn’t risk that chance.

“Toma, take the bags and get them to Jerry.” Kanda orders the finder as he lifts me into his arms, my head immediately lays itself onto his shoulder.

“So…sorry.” I manage out once more as he begins running back towards the Order. Kanda doesn’t say anything and keeps running. Once inside I knew I was being taken straight to the infirmary, but I was completely taken by surprise when I am taken to his room instead.

“What did you do Allen?! Fuck, you’re an idiot you know that!” Kanda began rambling quickly getting my exorcist jacket off pausing with his hands pressed firmly onto the bed. He was towering over me and all I could do was stare at him tiredly. I would try to lift my arm up to cup his cheeks but they were so heavy and I couldn’t move.

“Tell me everything, I beg you Allen. Do not let me find out the hard way.” He said his face fighting itself to keep it serious looking but his eyes always spoke the truth. His eyes held so much worry in them. I knew he did genuinely care for me and I felt the cool liquid slip from my eyes. I hated seeing him like this cause I know every time I relapse, I hurt him to.

“I haven’t eaten or slept since you’ve left and I couldn’t help but cut. I’m terrified of taking the prescriptions afraid that they’ll turn me into something again.” I explain my voice cracking half way through explaining afraid to move now thinking Kanda would pull away from me and leave. I wouldn’t be able to live then if he did.

“I’m sorry…I couldn’t help it. I needed you so bad and I had no one else to go to that could help me if something did happen. If I slept I was afraid that Tyki and Road would keep me trapped within that dream world of theirs. I wanted you to come home…I needed you to come home. I’m not strong on my own anymore!” I cry out tightly shutting my eyes tightly feeling myself begin to shack. Kanda stays quiet and I fear the worst was going to happen; I freeze when his lips are suddenly upon mine one of his arms snacking around my thinning waist. I feel myself finally kiss him back my arms lifting and wrapping around his chest. We stayed like that kissing each other until the need for air became a necessity.

“Baka Moyashi…baka, baka, baka!” He repeated burying his face into my shoulder. I feel the drops of his own tears fall onto me as he too begins to shack his arm around my waist tightening around me.

“You need to stop, if not for yourself… at least stop for me, for your friends. Stop with the knowledge that General Cross wouldn’t want you to drop to this level. Soon you’re going to find yourself in a whole you can’t find your way out of.” He pleads to me, I couldn’t respond to him because I knew if I made a promise that I’d stop, it would be a broken promise from the moment I’d utter the words. I couldn’t lie to Kanda like that and I wouldn’t lie to him.

“Kanda….I…” I try to say something but nothing comes out and I can only clutch onto him. I was slowly beginning to lose the very person I wanted to be with for so long. There was only so much one person could endure before they’ve reached their breaking point and I fear I was already reaching that point with Kanda.

“Let me in Moyashi and I will prove to you how much I love you and how much you mean to me.” He whispers and I release my hold around his chest as he released my waist and I was once again lying flat on my back on the bed.

“I trust you Kanda…I know you will never hurt me intentionally.” I whisper back to him giving him the best smile I could muster. I next find myself kissing Kanda back when his lips are upon mine the moment the words left my mouth. His hands cupped my cheeks and began to slowly run down my neck sending a pleasured shiver through me. His hands were so warm compared to my ice cold skin. I slowly snack my arms back around his chest as his hands are now running slowly along my sides. I feel his tongue slide along my bottom lip ask for entrance and I find myself complying, opening my mouth letting him dart his tongue inside and run along my own tongue. I hear myself gasp when his hands slip slightly under my shirt gently grabbing onto my thin waist. Slowly his hands begin to run back up my sides pushing the fabric of my shirt along with them. I feel myself to start to become nervous about him seeing all the scars, but I remind myself that he had already seen the majority of them. I run my own hands up his stomach beginning to unbutton the buttons of his exorcist jacket revealing he wore no shirt underneath and once I complete the process I brush my fingertips over the skin of his stomach earning shudders from him as I reached back up to his shoulders beginning to slip the fabric of his jacket down his arms. Soon the piece of clothing was completely removed and thrown to the floor somewhere as Kanda also removed my own shirt tossing it to the same general direction of where his jacket had landed. We both pause in that moment our foreheads connected together my hands rested on his shoulders while one his hands were gently pressed onto my chest his other hand the one keeping him propped up. I could feel the heat radiating from his body as his hand ran down my chest slowly causing a small cat like moan to pierce the quiet room and soon his arm was once again wrapped around my waist lifting me off the bed forcing my arms to wrap around his neck as he brought our chests together.

“Kanda…”I moan again shuddering as the warmth ran through me, I feel his lips against the skin of my neck as he kissed and nipped at it. I feel wave after wave of pleasure rush through me that I hardly notice when I am lying against bed once more both of his hands running along the skin of my chest.

“Let me take you Allen.” He huskily whispers into my his warm breath tickling the skin of my ear as he takes the lobe into his mouth and lightly nips at it. I let out a gasp my back arching into his touches. I feel his hands reach the hem of my black pants.

“Please Allen, tell me what you want.” He continues his movements pausing in a torturous way.

“Kanda…I want you…I want only you to take me.” I gasp out and once more his lips are upon mine as his hands easily undo the button and zipper of my pants. In a swift movement Kanda already has both the pants and the boxers pulled down my legs. The cold hair nipped at my now exposed skin and I gasp from the coldness, the action allows Kanda to plunge his tongue back into my mouth. My own hands run back up his chest and up his neck until I reach the hair tie that was keeping it held up. With a simple easy tug, I pull the little rubber-band from his hair feeling it cascade around us before I push my fingers into the soft strands. I soon feel the warm skin of legs rub along my own earning more gasps and tiny cat like moans from me. Once again his hand runs along the skin of my stomach at the same time his mouth breaks away from mine and he is once again nipping at my neck. I throw my head back a deeper moan escaping me when his hand gently runs along my hardening length sending shudders of pleasure up my spine.

“K-Kanda…” I moan out his name and I feel his lips smirk against my skin his hand gently but firmly wraps around my length slowly moving up and down.

“Oh god…” I let out in pleasure my hips slightly bucking into his moving hand my own hands returning to his shoulders. After nipping at my neck a few more time Kanda begins kissing down my chest. I can only lay there as my breathing became heavier and more moans leave me. With him kissing his way down my chest it forces my arms to drop to the bed and they immediately grab tightly onto the sheets as I feel pleasure beginning to build up inside of me slowly. His mouth for a short time stops at my navel his tongue playful playing with my belly button sending even more ways of pleasure through me.

“Kanda~!” I moan out my hips beginning to jerk even more. My eyes widen when a large spasm rushes through me and I scream out in pleasure from Kanda’s mouth wrapping around my length and him letting out his own moan which had sent vibrations through me. With every motion from him that he made I let out a moan his one arm holding my hips down as I tried to buck them. Wave after wave I feel the pleasure hit me repeatedly and it was building even high within that I felt like I wanted to explode.

“KAN-da!” I half scream out half moan when the wall of pleasure explodes within me and not long after I feel like I’m coming down from the high I usually only felt when I harmed myself.

“I’m hardly finished with you my Moyashi.” He then whispers into my ear before guiding me to straddle his lap sitting up on my knees. He positioned a few of his fingers at my mouth giving me a serious look.

“Suck on them, you’ll thank me later.” He says and I easily comply wrapping my mouth around his fingers following every bit of instructions whenever he gives them to me. His fingers are soon replaced with his tongue, it confuses me at first but then I feel a slight pain course through me from behind and his free hand keeps my head in place as Kanda continues to kiss me. He slowly begins to move his own finger in and out of me waiting for me to adjust before slipping the second one into me. My hands tightly clutch onto his shoulders feeling more pain course up my spine as he continues to move them in and out of me also making scissoring motions. He continues this a while longer before he pulls them out and something else is placed at my entrance.

“Allen I will not lie to you this is going to make you feel pain that you’ve never felt before, but…I swear it will get better. Trust me.” He says seriously his one hand brushing the knuckles of his fingers over my cheek pushing his fingers into my hair.

“I trust you Kanda.” I smile and once more his lips are upon mine his other hand grabbing onto my waist pushing me down onto his hardened length, him entering me. I let out a pained screamed into the kiss my fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders. Neither of us moved except for when he broke the kiss his lips hovering over my own. I felt tears leak down my face.

“I won’t move until you’re adjusted.” He says comfortingly and soon I slowly feel the pain subside as the hand of his which was in my hair travels down to my waist.

“Kanda…please, I want you.” I whisper my hips slightly twitch, I watch a smirk dance across his lips before his hands guide my hips to move up and down on him. The first few times all I could feel was pain but the more the both of us moved the more I began to feel pleasure.

“Oh god Allen you’re so tight.” He grunts into my ear nipping on the lobe again. My fingers were pushed into his hair again and my head pushed back letting out pleasure moans as I moved on him. His mouth trails kisses down my neck before roughly biting onto my skin causing me to scream out his name again.

“My given name Allen, I want you to scream it.” He then says our eyes locking making everything around us seem to stop as I feel him throb inside of me. I lean my head down to kiss him gently Kanda returning it before abruptly breaking it.

“Allen…” He moans my name and I could feel it, the similar feeling to when I exploded before but it was different in its own way.

“Kanda…?” I moan out as I knew he was coming close to coming inside of me.

“Scream out my name Allen.” He says his arms wrapping around my waist as he thrusted into me much more quickly and a bit more roughly.

“YU~!” I finally scream out my hands gripped onto his shoulders feeling him release inside of me. As the tension in our bodies relax the both of us collapse onto the bed, me still wrapped in his arms.

“My Moyashi.” He says with a smile bringing up one of his hands to brush his fingers through my white hair.

“My Kanda.” I say back leaning up and gently placing my lips against his own and then we just lie there just staring at one another.

“We should probably get up, get showered and head to dinner. There is something I need to show you.” Kanda smiles.

“Alright.” I nod and with his help the both of us shower, together of course and are soon on our way to the cafeteria. My hand linked with his own and my head was rested against his shoulder.

“Allen, I want you and I to be together and I don’t want you to be afraid to show it. I will never be ashamed of you and I want you to keep that in mind. You are very precious to me.” Kanda says suddenly stopping us right before entering the cafeteria doors. I smile up at Kanda reaching my hands up and cupping his cheeks before lifting onto my tip toes and kissing him gently again.

“I want to be with you Kanda for as long as you will have me.” I say and he smiles we take each other’s hands’ once again before walking into the cafeteria where I am rendered speechless when everyone in the Black Order shouts out surprise. I could only blink starring at the banner which read _Happy Birthday Allen_.

“Oh yea…today is that day isn’t it?” I ask feeling my face heat up and soon everyone is rendered silent and starring at Kanda who is now laughing from my statement.

“Yes, it is that day. Happy Birthday Moyashi and tomorrow is going to be an even better day.” He says linking his fingers under my chin lifting my face up to look up at him before kissing me. Yes today actually turned out to be not that bad. When my days are gray, Kanda is sure to light them up when he is around.

 

**YAY for chapter four! I hope everyone enjoys it especially the little lemony goodness I added ^_^. Don’t forget to review kay it’ll ensure I update even quicker. Reviews give me energy to type!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Yay cheers for another chapter to be written…ENJOY!**

Chapter Five- Save All His Ashes for Me

I was sitting at one of the tables in the cafeteria watching as most of everyone was getting drunk here at the surprise birthday party that was thrown for me. Lavi for one was alongside Komui as one of the most drunk so far. The two were having a drinking contest, if Lavi wins he has official permission to date Lenalee, but if he loses the two have to end their relationship. Lenalee wasn’t too happy about this arrangement, but she gave up after they went through their second large bottle of vodka. I was glad that thanks to living with Cross for most my life that I have come to have a certain hate for alcohol. Never will I ever try it.

“Hey…why all by yourself?” I look up to see my handsome boyfriend standing there with two plates of cake and I can only chuckle at his question.

“I’m avoiding getting possibly dragged into the drinking contest honestly. I’m fine sitting here watching the entertainment safely from the sidelines.” I state as he sat down beside me placing one of the plates in front of me.

“I actually have to agree with you. The two of them are both idiots if you ask me. I don’t understand why Lenalee always puts up with them.” Kanda sighs taking a bite of the cake while I absent mindedly play with mine.

“You still don’t have your complete appetite back do you?” He then asks and now I find myself the one sighing and leaning over to lay my head onto his shoulder.

“I’ve already been forced to eat three large pieces of cake. One from Lenalee, one from Lavi and one from Krory….I don’t think I could eat anymore since I had ate those on top of a large plate of other foods. I’m just too tired now to eat anymore and just want to sleep, but I can’t sleep because if I do I’ll encounter Tyki and Road.” I ramble on slowly falling into another fit of insanity. Kanda only hugs me and quietly shushes me brushing his fingers through my hair in a way to calm me.

“Then let’s get back to the room. You’re going to take your medications now that I am here to make sure nothing weird happens. Allen you will get past this, I don’t know how but we will find a way.” He says to me wrapping his arm around my shoulders and helps me up the two of us easily slipping out since Lavi and Komui were unknowingly keeping everyone pretty distracted. As we walk back to Kanda’s room I feel my eyes drooping and each time I’m jerked back awake because every time I begin to fall into the blackness I see the opening to Roads room and I see Tyki below, just watching, just waiting for me to enter into that world. I feel my breathing become erratic and I slightly start to stumble from how tired I was becoming.

“Stay with me Allen, don’t let them pull you in. You can fight it.” Kanda says and I begin to whimper when Roads laughs begin in my head. Kanda squeezes my shoulder reassuringly as we finally reach his room. He lays me on the bed and rushes to his bathroom to get the pills and a glass of water.

_Come to us our sweet Allen._

I let out a strangled whine beginning to panic as I dig my nails into my legs my head moving side to side trying to fight the overwhelming sense of wanting to sleep. Kanda is soon back over to me and helps me sit up. I quickly take the pill and down the water curling up into my boyfriend the moment I do.

“The pill will also put you to sleep. I’ll be with you every moment.” He says wrapping his arms around me. I rest my head onto his shoulder the overwhelming panic of not knowing if it was going to work coursing through me.

“Kanda…I’m…I’m scared.” I cry out sniffling as I can’t control the panicked tears.

“Everything will be fine Moyashi, I’ll make sure if this doesn’t work to get you out and away from those damned Noah’s.” He promises and finally and unwantingly do I fall into the blackness of sleep. It’s like I was in a pool of water just floating there as I stare up into a blue light. Unlike the other times before this was very calming and I don’t feel threatened in any way. It feels like eternity when the light finally gets brighter and it consumes me.

When it vanishes I am in a completely new environment but I could tell that it wasn’t real. I could tell it was only just a dream. Thanks to the world Road and Tyki would always drag me into it made me aware of everything. After a while I begin to follow the sounds of fighting, sword fighting to be specific. I reach a river area keeping behind a tree peering into the clearing to see just multiple black shadows encircling Kanda who was wearing an old style Samurai outfit crouched down in a fighting stance. It is then that I realize where I am…I was in Kanda’s dream.

“Take that you evil scum! No one touches my Moyashi and gets away with it!” He yells and begins fighting the black shadows and I am just left there in too much shock to even think. Was he dreaming that he is fighting to rescue me? Suddenly I am brought out of my shock when Kanda is pinned to the ground one of the shadows about to bring their sword down upon him. I can only react.

“KANDA!” I scream about to run out and help when the entire area around us ripples before fading to black and Kanda is lying back in his normal pajama clothes starring at me with a dumbfounded look and I knew I looked just as confused as he did.

“Is this part of the dream?” He finally asks and I can only laugh nervously.

“Um…I think Komui really needs to stop using me as a test subject with his new creations.” I say walking the rest of the distance between Kanda and I lowering myself to sit next to him.

“If he’s not careful, I will kill him if anything happens to you.” Kanda sighs forcing me to lay my head into his lap.

“Well you can officially say that this has to be one of his more ingenious side-affects to something.” I chuckle half-heartedly.

“Unfortunately I have to agree with you, though…I still say that bastard is and idiot. Along with that Usagi.” He says closing his eyes his hand running through my hair.

“I actually wander if we’ll be tired when we wake up seeing as we’re actually talking while in this black dream world.” I say sitting up after a while.

“I honestly don’t know Moyashi, now lay back down.” He says and I only chuckle again.

“I want to try something actually.” I say lifting up my discolored arm starring at it for only a moment before lightly touching the black floor with the tips of my fingertips. In an instant everything once again ripples turning the area around us into a field where Kanda and I usually go to train at.

“Well….this is sure interesting enough.” I say my eyes wide from what just had occurred. I was trying to figure out how in the hell all this was happening. I soon find myself lying on my back, the grass of the dream field feeling so real. Kanda straddled me each of his hands placed by my shoulders as he stared down at me with a smirk.

“You forever amaze me Moyashi.” He says before leaning down and kissing me, I eagerly kiss him back my arms wrapping around his neck pulling him down completely onto me.

“Aren’t we excited?” He chuckles once we part and I feel my face heating up knowing I was blushing.

“I’m just glad I am seeing something beautiful instead of something scary.” I say as our foreheads rested against one another. Kanda nods his head before rolling us over onto our sides keeping me held close into his arms.

“So what exactly do you have planned tomorrow? You mentioned something about it.” I ask tilting my head up slightly to stare up at Kanda.

“It’s a surprise Moyashi, you’ll have to wait and see.” He says and soon we both close our eyes relaxing in our calming state. As I open my eyes again I am starring once again up at the blue light that slowly began to fade away and I am left in the darkness, this time I was unafraid as the water around me began to slowly swirl around me and I find myself being launched into another bright light, though this time it’s me opening my eyes to stare up at the ceiling of Kanda’s room.

“So it looks like we’re both waking up at the same time.” I hear Kanda say turning my head to see him sitting up and slightly stretching.

“Yea…I am defiantly going to have to thank Komui for this pill. It’s amazing.” I yawn sitting up myself and stretching as well.

“I’ll say though it can wait until sometime later. Now let’s get ready and headed out before anyone else starts to wake up and tries to intervene.” Kanda says slipping out of the covers heading to his closet where no his and my clothes both reside in.

“Ok, ok let’s get going.” I smile climbing out of bed walking up to behind Kanda wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my forehead onto the back of his shoulder. Kanda soon finds a way to turn in my arms without forcing me to break my hold wrapping his own arms around my shoulders his cheek resting onto the top of my head.

“I want to believe that you’re improving but I know that your mind is still heavily trapped in that darkness. I love you Allen and I want you to always remember that.” He says and I just smile. For all the times the two of us had always fought he surprises me every day proving just how much he actually knows me. He truly does know me so well.

“I know you do Kanda and I love you to. I will try to stop but there will be times where I find myself I can’t help it.” I voice out and we stand like that for a few moments more before finally finishing with changing. Taking my hand into his Kanda and I maneuver through the Orders’ empty hallways keeping an eye out for anyone who might be awake this early. We were both sneaking out before anyone could question where we were going. Kanda truly wanted this to be a surprise and I could tell he didn’t want anyone interrupting us in anyway. Timcanpy flew by my head up until we made it to the gates where he stopped flying and headed back down the hallway to Kanda’s room. He knew they’d be able to track us with him. As he sneak out the gates I’m struck in awe at the beautiful sunrise as Kanda leads me into the woods towards town. I can only smile knowing how lucky I was to have him as my boyfriend.

 

_ **Lenalee’s POV:** _

I starred at my brother and my boyfriend who was both collapsed unconscious at the table in the cafeteria bottles of vodka and some other alcoholic drinks spread about around them. I couldn’t believe the two of them, all this because Lavi and I were dating. I hope my brother does know that even if my wonderful boyfriend had lost we’d never break up. I had just gotten back from Kanda’s room him and Allen both weren’t there. On instinct I had also checked Allen’s complete room and then the infirmary. I needed to reassure myself that nothing had happened while everyone was asleep. Now I was in a more state of concern because the both of them were nowhere in the Black Order. I had gone and checked the security cameras and found that the two of them had left the Order a good two hours ago. I was worried and I wanted to find them to make sure that everything was alright. Sighing I pull an air horn from my purse pushing the button giggling when I watched both men jump up screaming.

“Lenalee!” Komui whines hugging onto me and I just sigh beginning to try and push him off of me.

“Let go of me brother! I need both or your help to find Kanda and Allen! They left two hours ago and neither of them have their Golems so we can put a location on where they’re at!” I snap finally wriggling out of my brothers hold and skipped over to Lavi wrapping my arms around his arm.

“Well they couldn’t have gotten far. Let’s head out and find them just in case something is wrong.” He says and soon I find myself with both boys who are in a never ending fight. One is trying to prove that the other isn’t good enough for me and the other trying to prove that he was. We end up with Miranda tagging along with us the both of us keeping to the back watching as both boys try to outdo the other.

“If Allen is with Kanda most likely the two of them are truly fine.” Miranda finally says her hands linked together behind her as we walk down the street of Paris.

“That is most likely the case but we just need to make sure that Allen is okay. What if he gets separated from Kanda and something happens. None of us would know.” I point out and I see Miranda only nodding her head in agreement. Over the time she had been with us she has matured and won’t freak out as frequently. She had actually stepped to be a mother like figure for Allen once she had found what was going on with him. Since then and since Kanda had stepped in we found him slowly improving but I could tell since the mission Kanda had gone on, that improvement was just all a lie.

“Oh my, who is that?” I am brought out of my reverie to see my brother standing up straight a tiny blush line across his nose. I follow his line of stare to see that he was staring at a woman wearing what looked like a red with gold designs Chinese Yukata. She had creamy pale skin and I swear she could pass of as a porcelain doll with how flawless it looked. Topping it off she had what looked like very soft silky black hair which ran down to her knees. With how far we were from her I couldn’t tell what color her eyes were even though she stood sideways to us. She was talking to people as if she was trying to find someone or a trying to find directions to someplace. With the looks of things and how my brother was now acting, our search for Kanda and Allen has now become a mission of must talk to the beautiful woman. Why oh why is my brother such an idiot?!


	6. Chapter 6

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well I hope this chapter is longer than the last one LOL xD My friend Sharva and I have lots and lots and lots of things planned for this story. It has been officially decided that when this one ends there will be a sequel. I just hope none of you hate us with how we plan to end this……Nyah~!**

 

Chapter Six- Curse Me

I couldn’t believe this my brother was actually going forward with this even Lavi was going along with it as well. Miranda had left to go back to the order a few moments ago and I think I should have as well but knew that if anyone I’d have to step in if my brother got out of hand. As we were following the woman I finally acquired that she had green eyes, we really weren’t all that far off from her and I was still in slight shock at how beautiful she was. I just wanted to get back to finding Allen even if it turned out that he was just fine, I still would rather be doing that than tailing after some random woman.

“Brother is this really necessary?! I mean really.” I finally voice out as he completely ignored me next and I felt like activating my boots just so I could kick him in the face. But before anything could be done Komui is suddenly running forward yelling at the woman that something is on her. Of course the blushing idiot would rather drop everything to help this woman who was obviously just trying to mind her own business. Before Komui could even lay his hand onto her shoulder his wrist is grabbed and thrown over onto the ground. It’s at that moment that I have decided, maybe I could learn to like this girl. That’s when I decide to run up.

“Do not touch me please.” She said, it sounded like she was trying to be nice about it but it was obvious that she just wanted to hurt my brother for trying to touch her. That was fine with me actually, he needed a good kick in the ass sometimes.

“I am really sorry about my brother he never thinks before he acts.” I say as Lavi and I reach the two. My brother was lying on the ground with obvious hearts in his eyes and I can only sigh.

“It’s no problem but maybe he should learn some manners about coming up from behind someone and trying to grab them.” The woman said more politely this time as she turned to face and speak to me. I hold in the surprise gasp I am holding from how beautiful this woman is.

“There it is again! Ma’am there is something hiding in your hair on your neck! I will protect you!” Komui screams and I am kicking my heal onto the top of Komui’s head knocking him back onto the ground.

“I’m not in any danger thank you. Now is there something else I could help you people with?” She asks crossing her arms, yep my brother was an idiot. He could piss of even a random passerby.

“Well thanks to my brother we’ve been following you for quite sometime and notice that you might be lost. Maybe we can help. My name is Lenalee by the way.” I say introducing myself holding my hand out to the mysterious woman. I watch her relax a bit more with a sigh.

“My name is Asarina. And I am looking for a place called The Black Order. I was sent here to give Chief Officer Komui Lee a message.” She immediately says and I am left in some sort of shock wandering who exactly is this woman and why would she have a message for my brother. “Anyways it seems no one around here knows where the black order is let alone if it even exists.” She then adds looking frustrated.

“That’s because to the general public it doesn’t exist. The idiot on the ground is my brother Komui Lee. We’re from the Black Order. Maybe we should head there now. By the tone of your voice this message has to be very important.” I then say as Lavi helps my brother up and begin walking back towards where the Order was.

“That would be wise. I was informed that my message will come to a shock. I also have a verbal message for a boy named Allen Walker. Will I find him at the order as well?” She then asks and I sigh the both of us following behind the boys.

“Yes you will but at the moment we are searching for him since his boyfriend and him vanished this morning going god knows where.” I explain brushing my fingers through my hair which I hadn’t been able to put up today unfortunately so it was really beginning to annoy me.

“I see, well after I give the paper message off to your brother I believe I can help you search for him. I have a resource that will allow you to see this entire town and everyone in it.” She smiles and I find myself smiling back at her.

“Sounds like a plan if you ask me. And when we leave it’ll be just you and I.” I sigh not wanting to drag my brother again. That would be horrible, and I had already spent my fair share of the day with him. It didn’t take us very long to get back to the order and soon I find all of us in my brother’s office. Lavi stood off to the side leaning against the bookshelf while Asarina and I sat on the couch across from the desk Komui sat at.

“Okay now down to business Ms. Asarina…” He began but the green eyed woman only held her hand up.

“Please Komui sir just Asarina.” She said laughing lightly as she lowered her hand once more into her lap. She sat very straight and very stiff. I sat sideways watching her noticing something was moving within her hair and so I saw what my brother meant. The woman probably did know about it so again it proved how much of an idiot my brother was.

“Asarina…before you give me the paper message. Who is it from, may I ask?” He asked leaning back into his chair crossing his legs. It was very rare to see him serious but I could tell he knew this situation was very important.

“The message is from General Cross Marian. He told four days ago that this message get to as soon as possible” She says and I find my jaw dropping.

“But, the general is dead! Yes we never found his body but Allen had witnessed the whole thing!” I find myself half yelling as I stood to my feet. I knew if Allen were to find out about this he would act irrationally and go off looking for the man he viewed as a father. He could also reject the imformation and get thrown into an even deeper state of depression and would probably really then try committing suicide. From the looks on Komui’s face I could tell he was thinking the same thing as me. None of us could chance Allen finding out about this. The situation was just too risky.

“Can I see the note please and then upon what the note says I will have you call General Cross to prove that he is still alive.” Komui said his voice even more serious than before holding his hand out to Asarina for her to give him the note. I watch her nod her head pulling a folded piece of paper from her pocket and hand it to Komui. Lavi and I both watch him as he unfolds the paper and begins to read it before sighing and pushing the phone towards Asarina for her to call him.

“It’s a note from General Cross. It reads, don’t worry I will be stopping in very soon to check up on that idiot apprentice of mine.” He says but I knew he still wants that voice proof.

“As you wish Chief Officer Komui.” She nodded standing from the couch taking the phone from Komui who had switched it on to speaker and she dialed a number. We all wait patiently as we listen to it ring continuously.

“I had a feeling you’d be calling me Asarina. Is my idiot apprentice with you by chance?” He asks and I couldn’t believe my ears at what I was hearing. That was General Cross’s voice, no mistake about that but I already see Komui with the voice recognition device out and analyzing everything being said.

“No he is not General, from what I was told sir him and his boyfriend have been missing since early this morning.” She explains to him switching her weight to on foot.

“Chief Komui please tell me she isn’t serious. Please tell me I don’t need to hurry my journey even more to rescue that apprentice of mine?” He asks a deep chuckle resonating from him next. I hear Komui let out a sigh and new that the voice recognition came back positive.

“No he isn’t in any trouble though for a bit I would like to keep Allen unaware of you being alive until you get here. I believe there is something you should know upon your arrival.” Komui explains and I can only close my eyes sadly at the thought of Allens master finding out about his bad addiction. The phone is soon handed to Komui being switched off of speaker. And it was a good thing to shortly after we all turn to see Kanda and Allen walk in hand in hand.

“There you are Allen where were you and Kanda all morning?” Lavi asks, Komui had paused in talking and I know it was to let General Cross listen to his apprentice speak.

“Kanda took me out to some cottage he found out in the woods on the other side of town. It was wonderful.” For once I am seeing a genuine smile on his face.

“That was nice of you Kanda, was this the date you’re talking about taking him on before you had left on that mission in Ireland?” I ask the dark haired man next to Allen, Kanda only rolls his eyes pulling Allen closer to him.

“I also wanted to stop by and thank Komui, those pills you gave me to stop the dreams. Wow…yea they really are something. The side-affect was amazing.” He said and I knew me and Lavi’s mouths were dropped open and looking at Allen like he had grown two heads.

“I’m glad to hear that Allen how about you tell me all about it later. I would like you to take miss Asarina here and show her around the place. I need to keep Kanda for a bit.” My brother explains, I just hoped that Asarina would not say anything to Allen about Cross.

“Of course, this way Ms. Asarina.” Allen says motioning for her to head to the door first, he was always a gentleman and even after his personality did a 180 on us.

“This should be fun, and no worries Chief Officer Komui, I will respect your wishes and not say anything.” She said nodding her head to all of us then headed out the door followed by an obviously confused Allen. Once the door was shut and we heard the two walk off Kanda finally turned and faced my brother.

“What is it you need to speak to me about? I really hope you’re not sending me onto another mission again. I don’t plan on having a repeat of Allen…” Kanda began to say but my brother silenced him by holding his hand up.

“Right now that is something not to be said at this moment…go ahead General.” Komui said turning the phone back onto speaker.

“So my idiot apprentice is making everyone worried. Now I really cannot wait until I set foot into that place. So tell me Yu Kanda, are you and Allen really dating?” The shock covered over Kanda’s face was priceless before it turned to a look of concern.

“Yes we are dating sir…but knowing of your return and that you are actually not dead worries me greatly. Not that I’m not glad you’re alive, which I am very glad you are. I’m just more concerned over what this will do to my Moyahi’s health.” He says and I had this feeling General Cross would chuckle like he normally would like the crazy man that he was, but I am shocked when I hear the man sigh.

“Something tells me that I will have to approach this in an as painless process as possible. I will not ask anything more knowing full well that this sounds like a delicate situation. I will see you all in a few days.” He said before the line was disconnected. I looked over to Kanda and now I was concerned, everyone in the room knew that something bad was going to occur the day General Cross would reach The Black Order.

“Komui…” Kanda says looking up to my brother now.

“I know, let Krory and Miranda know as well, but we need as many eyes on Allen as possible. I don’t know how Cross will act once he finds out about Allen’s’ condition.” Komui says and we just all nod our heads to him. The next few days were going to be quit long in deed.

 

~~_ **Asarina’s POV-** _ ~~

I was walking beside Allen shocked at how much he looked similar to my mother, but that wasn’t possible. According to my father my mother had died after she had left. Not only that this boy was very short, in fact to me he was a pip squeak. At the same time I felt intrigued by his appearance with his silver eyes and his white hair which matched the snow on the ground outside. As we walked I listen to him ramble on about everything he showed me her at this place called The Black Order.

“Do you ever stop rambling?” I finally ask, I didn’t mind talkative people, but damn he took it to another level of talkativeness!

“Oh! I’m so sorry Ms. Asarina you’re probably tired and wish to rest! Maybe we can head over to the cafeteria and grab a bite to eat and you can ask me whatever you like. I’m sorry for being rude.” Once again he is rambling and I can’t help but hold my hand up quickly to shut him up. Which thankfully he does immediately.

“Please just call me Asarina and I apologize for seeming rude. Yes, I am very tired for traveling so sitting and resting and drinking some tea would be very appreciated. Once we are seated with our meals and beverages we can begin talking again, but please for now just hush and lead the way.” I say to him wanting nothing but a little bit of peace and quiet. Though I knew that was going to be short lived here soon, we had barely began walking again when I felt the little one move around at the back of my neck and move to the top of my head.

“Oh come on mother he’s not that talkative as that one woman we had to endure on the train here from Moscow!” I can only sigh, I look over to see Allen just starring and I can only smirk.

“What?” I ask playfully wandering if he was going to flip out like most people do. But, his answer only shocks, just like his appearance had.

“He spoke…” He had said instead and I can only stare at Allen with an arched eyebrow.

“Okay you’re more shocked at him speaking and not that he’s a dragon?” I ask, I was very curious to his answer.

“No offense ma’am but I fight Akuma and the Noah Family for a living. There isn’t much that shocks me anymore.” He says then gives me a sheepish smile. “Can I pet him?” He asks and I find myself sighing for the hundredth time that day.

“Of course Allen Walker.” I say and I watch him reach up and pet my little dragons head, though my dragon is only small for convenience until we get outside to fly then he transforms into a size much more magnificent.

“What’s his name?” He finally asks after his hand is returned to his side.

“His name is Narul. I have had him since I was seven when he first hatched.” I explain lifting Narul from my head and cradling him in my arm using my other hand to pet down his fire colored red scales.

“He is very cute Asarina.” He compliments and I nod my head in thanks. We walk for a few moments longer until we reach the cafeteria each getting our meals then finding a place to sit at across from one another.

“So Allen, are you an exorcist?” I ask after we are silently eating for a few minutes.

“Yes I am though at the moment I am temporarily on suspension for medical reasons.” He explains before taking a small bite of the sub sandwich he got.

“I see, well I was sent her to deliver a message to Chief Officer Komui and you though now my orders are to not tell you. The person who gave me the message will be here in a few days to tell you themselves. It’s nothing bad so don’t worry too much about it, and it’s a surprise of who the person is so don’t ask me.” I explain next finding him sighing that he wasn’t allowed to ask me now. None the less I watch him as he shrugs to himself and forgets about it returning to his food. I feel Narul nudge my face and I advert my eyes to look down at him.

“Māmā?” He asks and I know he can see it as well.

“Băochăí yīgè wŏ kànzhe tā shí, méiyŏu rén zuò érzi.*” I tell him and he only nods, I find Allen just staring at me and I only give him a smile.

“Don’t worry about it I was only telling him not to be afraid this place is safe.” I easily and Allen only nods his head to me returning to his food. I return to eating my food as well sharing some with Narul before he fell asleep into my lap. It wasn’t long until we were joined by that black haired man named Kanda. With how the two of them acted with one another I could see just how much they loved one another and I knew I needed to protect that even though I had my own agenda to complete. And that was something I would unfortunately hate to do, but I had no choice. Until then I will enjoy myself and become friends with Allen, he did seem like a very nice person and I really wanted to learn more about him.

 

**Well there you have chapter six! Yea chapter second chapter done in one day! Now on to try and complete a third chapter before I have to go into work!**

**Oh the things said:**

**Băochăí yīgè wŏ kànzhe tā shí, méiyŏu rén zuò érzi =** _**Keep an eye on him when no else does son** _ **in traditional chinese.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well I actually have to say that I am truly enjoying typing this story. I haven’t had this much fun since I started Young, but unfortunately Young has gone downhill and I have no motivation to keep that one going at the moment for I have no ideas. This one thankfully my friend Sharva is helping me keep motivated with all the ideas she throws my way. I only hope I can put all them in. LOL!**

Chapter Seven- Sold Him

It had been a couple days since Asarina arrived to The Black Order and I had been noticing Kanda was acting strange. I couldn’t place my finger onto it and I began to worry again and I felt my mind lowering into that ever familiar darkness it was always going to. Lately whenever Kanda goes to train, I make up that I’m going to go see Komui to do our normal thirty minute talk but instead I escape to my old room and sit in the semi dark bathroom pulling up the loose tile I had made picking up the tiny razor I hide under it. First I clean and sanitize it, the last this I needed was for one of my cuts to get infected. I would sit by the window behind the tub my head leaned onto the glass after making the incision feeling the release I always loved when I did this. I watch the birds fly outside just sitting there knowing I didn’t have much longer to keep this up. Eventually Kanda would go to Komui and find out that I was lying and then it would end once again and I would be heavily watched. My life was defiantly complicated.

**Kanda’s POV-**

Lately I’ve been noticing Allen has been lying to me and I knew why he was but I wanted to keep myself believing that my Moyashi just wanted time to himself. It was any day now that General Cross would be here and the truth I had to keep from him would finally be over. I was lying on the floor of the dojo room heavy breaths coming in and out of me as I stared up at the ceiling wandering when was the last time that Allen and I had actually trained with one another. It had to have been since right before General Cross took him away. After that I remember Komui send us to certain coordinates and when we reached a half dying Allen I knew from that moment on nothing was ever going to be the same.

“Um…Kanda?” I’m brought from my thoughts and I look over to the little red dragon who belonged to Asarina.

“Yes Narul what is it?” I ask sitting up looking to the little guy noticing he was slightly nervous and I wandered why. I remember Asarina explaining to us that he is 20 in human years but in dragon years he is still only 10. So his mind was still quite young and naïve.

“I was wandering what it usually means when someone goes to part in their life to self-harm themselves?” He asks and I feel my heart skip a beat.

“Where did you see something like this?” I ask knowing just what his question meant my worries coming to life.

“Allen’s room in his bathroom…I’m sorry if I did something wrong Kanda.” He said looking down sadly to the floor and I only pat him on the head.

“Don’t worry you didn’t, just go find your mother. I’ll take care of everything.” I hear myself say before jumping to my feet abandoning Mugen there running past Lenalee who I guess was trying tell me something. Someone was with her but I paid no attention.

“Kanda?!” She asks loudly.

“I have to get to Allen!” I hear myself shout and I knew that was enough for her to hear and I knew her and whoever else was with her was following. I get easily get to Allens bathroom and manage to pin him to his back knocking the razor across the room before he has the chance to cut again. His eyes are wide in fear from being caught and every time I catch him I can’t be completely angry with him. There was something wrong with him in his head and it is a slow process to revert him back.

“K-Kanda.” He stutters out not even trying to move.

“You need to fucking stop this damn it! Everything is alright now, you have to stop!” I snap collapsing onto him finally my forehead pressed onto his chest.

“I’m curious…when did this start?” I feel Allen stiffen under me at the voice. Things had just gotten worst.

_ **Allens POV-** _

I couldn’t believe my ears, that voice wasn’t here, couldn’t be here! I just keep my eyes focused on the ceiling above. I was going to tell Kanda I needed to get to the infirmary because my last cut was unfortunately deep enough to cause me to bleed to death. I slowly feel myself start to shack when I catch the glimpse of long red hair and large hands pressing something over the bleeding cut. My lips begin to tremble next and I close my eyes briefly before opening them turning my head to lock eyes with my master. The master who I watched first handedly get murdered by Tyki. All I could do was stiffen even more and watch as my world faded to black dropping myself into that pool of water.

“I told you it would be a surprise.” I spin around to see Asarina there in my dream world.

“But I watched him die! This can’t be possible!” I yell digging my hands into my hair and I only hear her sigh.

“I know, but he is alive you only saw Tyki’s final attack. It should have been fatal but in reality it wasn’t by just a few inches. Your master is quite alive and well.” She says walking over to me and wrapped her arms around me.

“I have had Narul watching over you Allen because I knew your mind was anything but stable. You should use this time with your master to heal. Become strong again so when the time comes you can face your enemies and your fears.” She says, I could only nod my head closing my eyes hearing her say something but I couldn’t make it out because I am once more opening my eyes staring at the infirmary ceiling once more. I sigh turning my head to the window seeing that it was thankfully still light out. I knew I hadn’t been out for very long.

“So are you going to answer my question this time Allen?” I hear myself take in a strangled gasp as I fight back the tears that threatened to spill over.

“I…I…” I try to speak but nothing would come out, I knew he already knew the answer to the question but I was unable to get myself to answer him.

“ALLEN!” He yells sternly causing me to jump to a sitting position and stare at him. His eyes were blazing with anger and I couldn’t tell if they were directed at me or not.

“For four months! I started the moment of realization that you were dead hit me!” I rush out drawing my knees to my chest and covered my ears with the palm of my hand. I didn’t want to hear anymore if I was going to be yelled at. I am thrown into another state of shock when his arms wrap around me his forehead resting on the top of mine.

“My idiot apprentice, look at what you’ve become from my stupidity. Kanda has told me about what has been going on in your dreams and I know that feeds into it as well. Everyone is afraid of forcing you into things thinking you’ll cast them out once they do. I do not fear this.” He begins to say and I find myself afraid of what he has done.

“M-master?” I ask my breathing becoming labored and heavy and I knew he had to be smirking in some way.

“I have ordered the science division to ransack your entire room to look for anything that you could use to harm yourself. I told even if they have to peel all the tiles out of that bathroom. I am giving that room of yours a makeover so there will not be any way for you to hide anything that will harm you. And I will be making sure that once a week you will be going to your thirty minute therapy sessions with Komui. Or you could choose to have them with me now that I am back for a while.” He says to me and I find myself wrapping my arms around him before he could chance stepping away from me. My eyes are half lidded with tears dripping from them but I feel the smile on my face. I’ve been waiting for this day cause I knew I couldn’t take the first step on my own.

“Komui is great and all but I haven’t seen you in forever and I would rather it be talking to you please!” I beg clutching onto his Exorcist jacket. I feel the chuckle run through him as his arms wrap themselves around me again.

“What am I going to do with you my idiot apprentice.” He says, and I knew from then on everything would change, but I wasn’t expecting for them to change in the way that they would.

 

**Yes this chapter is very, very, very short but I don’t want to go past this point until later tonight and I can collaborate a little more with Sharva also I have work and I am happy with this chapter. Well see next chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Sorry if this seems a little out of the normal writing style. I’m Sharva and I will be writing Asarina’s and Narul’s point of views. YaoiFanGirl1990 will be transposing it to her style and making minor adjustments. I hope you enjoy Asarina and Narul. Not sure when his chapter will be up but it will be soon. Enjoy!**

 

Chapter Eight-The Poison that Runs Through Her

**Asarina’s POV-**

It has been a few days since General Cross returned and everyone has been in a state of confusion. After being here in the black order for about one week I have found myself trying to stay calm. I had a mission to do and I don’t want to do it but my heart will be forever broken if don’t.

“Asarina,” I turn around to see Lavi holding Narul by his tail, “this little guy was caught trying to eat paper work from Komui’s office.” Then he let go of my little crazy fireball, which then ran over to me and barred his teeth at the young man who had released him.

“Stupid boy, If I want to eat paper I can. Besides I was going to burn them and don’t ever grab me by my tail.” Narul shouted. I could only laugh at my little dragon. Lavi on the other hand look as if he could kill him but the last time someone tried that. It ended up bad on their part. “Go away hammer boy.”

“Narul that is enough now no more going into Komui’s office without permission, and no more name calling; just think if it was Komui who had found you and not Lavi. And please don’t destroy anyone’s property, that paperwork could be important.” I stated and the look my fireball gave was a look of pure jealousy. Ever since that day I met everyone, Narul had a dislike of Komui and was not afraid to show it. He has an issue with men who think I’m a very pretty and tends to scare them away or make their life hell. He just sat there on my lap and gave me really sad puppy eyes. “Don’t Worry Lavi, remember he is still a child in mind.”

“Whatever, besides I’m going to town with Lenalee. See you later.” Lavi said as he left and then Narul took off flying. In the distance I could hear him screaming “Lenalee, I’m coming to!” All I could do was laugh. I decided to go for a walk myself. Standing up from my bed and heading out the door. I decided to go get some tea from the cafeteria first. Walking down the hallway many of those who worked in the Black Order looked at me and started to whisper. None of them knew me and I was not getting too close to any of them. The only one who actually wanted to get close to me was the one person in the whole building Narul hated. Komui, he was pretty silly at times and made decisions that ended up badly. Yet, the worst flaw he had was the fact that his little sister was dating Lavi. He was trying to do everything to break them up but nothing worked. I loved his eyes and the way he shows his comrades that he cares.

I stopped to look out the window. Kanda, General Cross and Allen had left for a mission three days ago. General Cross and his way of thinking was strange, but never the less he really was a good teacher. I had found him badly injured and decided to help him. I still don’t know if that was the best or worse decision I had made. Then there is Kanda, the tall samurai that Narul loves to hang out with. I think it is because of the sword or the fact that Kanda is really calm and listens to what he has to say. Then there is Allen, my target for the mission. I just don’t understand why he looks so similar to my mother. I really never knew her. My father took me to his home in china when I was two. The three of them should be back any day and I did not want to be alone with General Cross.

I decided that my thoughts were getting the best of me and continued to get my tea. When I go there it was lunch time. I could see Narul ordering food and the cook laughing. Trust me when I say that little guy can eat, from what I was told by Lenalee once Allen is back to normal the two will rival one another. For some reason I can’t see that, but I would love to anyways. Everyone was still shocked when he grew to his actually size, but I love him dearly. While thinking a hand touched me and a voice said “So, are we eating together my sweet Asarina” I did not have to turn around to know who it was.

“Komui, do you really want Narul to burn your buns again?” I asked him trying to be serious but could not help giggling. Just before Allen, Kanda and Cross left, Narul had gotten mad when Komui had taken me to my room and then snuck up behind him. Then next thing I knew Komui ran screaming down the hall with his ass on fire. The little dragon was on the floor, belly up and laughing.

“What is you answer, a yes or a no?” Was his reply and then took my arm to lead me to the line. Once in line I ordered sweet and sour chicken, white rice, and some oriental veggies. I got my jasmine green tea and sat down at the table where Lenalee, Lavi and my fireball were sitting. I noticed that Narul had about fifteen steaks on a plate. Komui sat down beside me and that’s when the fireball pushed his plate toward me and sat on the table between us. Lenalee just stared at what happened and Lavi just smiled as if telling his superior officer pay back is a bitch.

“Mommy, can we go flying after we eat?” was the question Narul asked and smiled so Komui would see how sharp his teeth were but he already knew how sharp they were since Narul had already bitten him for trying to extract blood from my little dragon. “You are not invited, Komui.” I couldn’t help but laugh on how much this dragon hated Komui.

“Was not even going to ask?” Was Komui’s quick come back, “Thanks to you, I have all those papers to reorganize and sort again?” I could easily tell he was not pleased about what Narul had done but neither was I.

“Hey wait a minute; I thought you were going with Lavi and me to the market to find you a stronger ball.” Lenalee said angrily. “You always complain that you never get to go out.”

After everyone was finished eating, Komui went to his office and I felt so sorry of him. In the end I told my dragon to go out with Lanelee and Lavi. I was going to go lay down for a nap. Walking back to my room I had heard that menacing voice saying:

_Your time is running out, better hurry_

I knew I had to hurry but there was nothing I could do until Allen returned. I just hope I can get some sleep. Lavi said they would not be back till dinner time. So I had plenty of time to sleep. I opened the door to my room and lay down on my bed.

 

**Next chapter some surprising things are going to happen. Does Asarina have feelings for Komui and what’s with the voice in her head? I guess we will have to wait and see.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Hey guys, it’s YaoiFanGirl1990! I do hope you’re enjoying the fanfic so far. I know I am, but then again I always enjoy writing fanfics for you guys. Well here is the next chapter. Please Enjoy!**

Chapter Nine- Pale White Skin

I lay in my bed trying to sleep but I just couldn’t, I had been in my room for as little over an hour and just could not seem to sleep. How was I going to do this and if I did what would everyone think of me, I see how happy Kanda and Allen are but if I did not do it I would lose someone very close to me. What was I to do? Sitting up, I looked around and felt terrible. Maybe I just needed some company, just someone to talk to. Allen once told me Komui is a great person to talk to. Maybe it was worth a try. I got up and left my room to go to Komui’s office.

Walking down the hallways, my mind went to how Narul would go through one of his tantrums when he found out that I went to talk to Komui. I could only smile at that thought, but I could also see my little dragon burning down his office desk as revenge. I don’t know where he gets this idea that Komui will take me away and lock me up. If only those two would get along, my life might be a bit more easy. I found myself at his office door. I knocked.

“Komui, it’s me, Asarina. Can I come in?” I wait a few seconds before I heard a thump. I guess he tripped over a stack of papers. I heard him fall like three times before the door opened and six people ran out. Then I saw him standing there smiling.

“Please come in.” he said and I did. He closed the door after I was all the way in and locked it.

“Well that was perfect timing. They were getting on my nerves. So, what’s the problem?” he was sitting behind his desk.

“I was trying to take a nap but it failed. My mind is racing.” I say as I sat down. My neck was hurting and I was rubbing it. That’s when I saw Komui stand up and walk over towards me. He then stood behind me, moved my hand and started to massage my neck and back.

“That’s not necessary” I tell him.

“Did you ever think that maybe you can’t sleep because your muscles are sore?” He asked but I could not complain. It was relaxing me and it did feel very nice. Yet my whole body was responding to his touch. I let out a sigh of comfort.

“I can stop if you want me to.”

“No, don’t stop. It is helping me relax.” I state and yet I wish I could tell him everything but I just can’t. That’s when I snap out of it and stand up.

“Sorry for bothering but I’m fine.” I get passed the couch before he grabs my arm and I turn around to slap him. Then our lips meet and I just melt against him.

“Why are you so eager to leave?” He asks me with his dark eyes that were like stars. I run my fingers through his hair and his hat falls to the ground, I’m shaking by. It has been over a year since a man has kissed me.

“Was I out of line?” He whispers in my ear.

The only thing I can do is kiss him back. At this point I don’t care what he will think of when the time comes to complete my mission. Right now I only want to be with him. He responds by bringing me closer to his body and I feel like I’m on fire. I start to unbutton his jacket as he deepens the kiss I started. I feel like I can’t control myself. He breaks off the kiss and looks down into my eyes. I feel like nothing else matters to me. He moves he head to my ear and whispers,

“Is this what you want?” While he plays with my hair.

“I will stop but only if you tell me to.” I realize he is either daring me to continue or playing with me. I just don’t know what to say. My mind is not straight and i dont want to leave at this point.  
“I won’t do anything else until I get an answer.” He says his arms wrapped around me just waiting.

I’m now standing in Komui’s office while he has his jacket off. It should be easy to tell him to stop but its what I want. He says he needs an answer to continue. The only way I can respond to give him an answer is to kiss him again and play with his long dark hair. I break off the kiss “Don’t go, please.” Then he kisses me and I'm trying to not let go of this moment. I want to remember this and treasure it.

“Where would I go? To tell you the truth, I would rather be in my room with you than the office.” He says and brings head up so our eyes meet. His eyes are full of passion and love. It makes me want to cry, for this maybe the only chance I get with him.

“You’re so beautiful right now. Even when you are with Narul, your beauty never changes.” Leaning down he kisses me again. I’m not sure why I am letting this continue. He left the kiss and I closed my eyes trying to get a grip on the world around me. I had to come back to reality or I just might lose myself but yet I did not want this to end. Breaking the kiss Komui begins to leave kisses along my jawline and down my neck. I feel the slight tug on my obi as he pulls it loose and I feel his hands run up to my shoulders and gently push the fabric down my arms. His hands soon find their way back up my arms and begin to fondle my breasts. Following in suit with him, I find myself slowly unbuttoning the buttons of his shirt sliding the annoying thing from his own arms tossing it somewhere to the floor. Before I can comprehend both of us are left fully unclothed upon his couch. I feel one of his hands leave my breast and travel down my stomach slowly running over my moist core putting his lips to mine once again in a heated kiss. I could feel his finger moving in and out rapidly and my only way to cope with this sensation was to dig my nails into his back. I open my mouth to grant him entrance when I feel his tongue glide over my bottom lip, making this kiss deeper than before, then slightly breaks away hovering over my lips.

“Asarina, I want you to know that I will always be by your side. Anywhere you go, I will follow you.” He whispers putting his hand gently against my cheek. Deep down I wanted to cry but that would only make things worse. I told myself never again would I love another, but for some reason I could tell Komui is different. Leaning down again Komui kisses me. I could feel the tip of him at my entrance, just pausing and I couldn’t tell him he was just doing it for dramatic effect. Pushing my lips against his I let him know by action to get on with it. It was a little painful but the feeling of him inside me was just overwhelming and knew at that point that this might not happen again. I moaned while his mouth was still connected to mine. He broke away the kiss and slowly started to move. He eventually picked up the pace and my only request was that no one was outside his door listening. I was playing with his hair while he sucked on my breasts. I keep arching my back and every time I did that he increased the pressure and speed of his thrusting. The next thing I knew my world was collapsing

“KOMUI!” was the last sound we both heard. He lay against me catching his own breath while I did the same. It seemed as if time was ticking by fast as the world continued to spin around us. It truly has been a long time since I last enjoyed this.

“We should get dressed before anyone tries to enter.” He said and held me tightly. He could tell I was shaking and my vision was not all that great either. Everything was spinning and my only stability was to hold tightly to him. For the moment we just laid there on the couch. Eventually he got up and dressed first. Then he helped me put my clothes back since I was still a bit wobbly when I stood up. Then he unlocked the door and handed me a bottle of water.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked.

“I think I’ll be fine.” I said standing up.

“I think I’ll go back to my room and get a shower.” He grabbed my hand and pulled in for one last kiss.

“If I was out of line just tell me.” He said embracing me. It was then that I realized this was a mistake to come to him and I just wanted to be alone.

“I’m fine really and you don’t have to worry. “ Then I left him alone in his office. Once I was a good ways away I ran to my room. I lay on my bed and started to cry. How was I ever going to complete this mission? I decided to get a shower soon after knowing that Narul would be back soon. Once inside the bath room I take off my clothes off and turn on the hot water. Before I know it, I’m crying again slowly collapsing to the shower floor my face in my hands leaning over onto the tiled wall. Then I hear a voice

“Mom, are you okay” I look up to see my fireball suspended in the air looking at me. “Did something happen? Oh, Allen, Kanda and General Cross are back. They are just in time for dinner.” He says happily about the three returning, but I could still tell that he was worried about the state I was in. I could only smile sadly at him.

“I’ll be out in a bit.” I tell him and he flies out of the shower. I turn off the water, dry off and get dressed. Now with Allen back I can complete my mission but I know Cross suspects something is up. He just might be the reason why I don’t succeed.

Komui’s POV-

I felt deep inside that I had hurt her. When she left her expression was sad and I don’t know what to think. I had only known her for about a week and a half. That pesky dragon of hers hated me and now he might actually eat me if he found out about this. Considering if he even knows what sex is. The fact is I felt like I took advantage of her but I gave her a few chances to tell me to stop. She wanted this as well as I did but her reaction afterwards was not what I had pictured it would have been like. My thoughts were broken when I heard the door open. I looked up to see Lenalee and Lavi enter.

“So did the three of you have a great time?” I asked, I had almost forgotten that they took the pesky dragon with them.

“Yeah we had fun. Narul got a new ball, but we’re not sure how long this one will last.” Lenalee stated, she looked around the room and at the couch that I had made love to Asarina on.

“Wow you really need to clean up your office.” She says with that cute annoyed face she always gets and I have to feign from acting like the brother-complex person I am.

“Gee, what did you do in here?” Lavi said holding his nose. “Please tell me you did not have sex in here with someone cause it smells like it!”

My mind went to different directions. Direction one was I don’t want to know what you and my sister do in your bed, which I will get you back now that I know you are having sex with her. Second direction was Asarina and how she would feel if they found out. “Let’s go eat, I’m starving.” I literally shoved them out of my office with me behind them. We arrive to the cafeteria and I notice Lenalee run off to give Allen a hug. I’m very happy that Allen was able to leave and get out of this tower but my thoughts are still on the woman I loved. I walk over to the others with Lavi to greet both Allen and Kanda. We all sit down and listen to Allen’s tail of the mission, with some added commentary from Cross and Kanda of course. Eventually Lavi calls Kanda by Yu and that sets off a killing rampage. Next thing I know something bites my hand. I look down to see a very angry little dragon.  
“You are very mean and I don’t like to see my mother cry.” His tone of voice tells me that he is extremely pissed and now Asarina is crying.

“I’ll be back. I’m going to talk to Asarina and figure out why she is upset.” I state and stand up to leave, only to find that Narul is now blocking my way slightly bigger than his tiny form. This is not going to end well for me.

“You’re not going near her. You’re the one that made her cry. Your scent is all over her clothes.” Narul shouted loud enough for everyone to stare at him.

“Now you will burn.” It was that moment I realized that the pesky dragon wanted to burn me alive and started to chase me. Why did I fall in love with a woman who raised a dragon?

Cross’s POV-

The mission was somewhat a success since it being Allen’s first time back on the field in four months. I was surprised at how calm Kanda had stayed the entire time each time he had to protect my idiot apprentice. The reason I say it was somewhat success was because, yes we managed to acquire the innocence but that’s only because said idiot apprentice endangered himself to protect it. His reasoning being that he connected with it somehow and he knew how important this one was. I am amazed each time he speaks in this weird way. Kanda had explained to me on the way back that the idiot was now taking specific pills for his dreams. He also explained the side-effects of them and I knew then that Allen’s own innocence that he was born with was either mutating or evolving. This brought a wave of concern through me; the Noah’s would be even more relentless to get him if they were to find out. Especially that Tyki Mikk.

“General Cross!” I look up to see Narul flying over to me and I am surprised to not see Asarina with him.

“Good evening Narul, where is your mother?” I ask, I needed to speak with her as soon as I could, because just with what I’ve witnessed she has gotten herself into some trouble.  
“Oh she is showering before coming to dinner! Have you seen Komui? He wasn’t in his office when I checked.” The little one asked and I could only raise an eyebrow at him. He was up to no good that I knew was for sure.

“I think he has joined everyone else in the cafeteria to gain the mission report from Kanda and Allen. Don’t cause too much trouble Narul. What did he do this time if you don’t mind me asking?” I ask crossing my arms starring at the little dragon playfully.

“I smelled him all over my mother’s clothing! He shall pay if he is the reason she is crying!” He shouted and was suddenly gone flying down the hallway. I could only sigh and shack my head. I was soon headed back down the hallway towards Asarina’s room. That girl was hiding something and I was going to find out. Reaching the hallway of her I saw her just exiting the room her face reading that she was deep within her own mind.

“Asarina.” I speak up once I close enough to her and I am not surprised when she jumps but only slightly and she stares at me her eyes only going wider and wider. She knows deep down that like my idiot apprentice she cannot keep anything from me.

“I’ve been wandering actually. Where is Kalira?” I ask and I watch as her one of her hands clench tightly into a fist and she opens her mouth to say something.

“Before you say anything, if I were you I would really think before you try to lie to me.” I say and I watch as she snaps her mouth back shut. Just by watching her I could tell she was failing at trying to come up with something and soon she lets out a defeated sigh.

“I knew you would be the reason to why I would fail at this unfortunate mission.” She says her eyes full of sadness and I knew it wasn’t Komui who had made her cry. Something had happened to Kalira.

“Asarina you know you can tell me. I can help you, the entire order can help you.” I explain to her placing my hand onto her shoulder.

“I know but I don’t want anyone to hate me.” She says and I could only sigh closing my eyes and shaking my head.

“If you tell us what’s going on we can help you. If you continue this charade of lies and secrets then maybe they will. Now I will call a meeting at Komui’s office. You will explain everything there.” I explain pulling her into one of my rare embraces. If I’m not careful this could become an everyday thing. For that I blame my idiot apprentice, he started it.

“Yes General Cross, but I ask that Allen Walker to not be a part of it please.” She says and I could tell she is begging me. Something she never does. This woman is strong and does not beg, and it is at that moment that I know exactly how serious this is.

“Alright for now though let us go to the cafeteria and eat. We will call the meeting then. I promise you, everything will be fine.” I reassure her place my arm around her shoulders and began walking her towards the one area I didn’t really want to be at. Upon arriving I wasn’t surprised that my allegations were correct. At the moment not only was Komui being chased by Narul, but it looked like Lavi was about to be killed by Kanda.

“Oi, Idiot apprentice, explain what’s going on?” I asked when Asarina and I reached to the group.

“Well you see when Narul got here he immediately began chasing Komui yelling something along the lines that he was going to pay for making his mother cry. And well Kanda trying to kill Lavi? That’s just normal.” He explained sipping at his drink which I guessed was water from the looks of the non-fizzy clear drink. I could only sigh putting my forehead against my fingertips trying my hardest not get angry. Upon Komui running by me I lifted my arm and easily caught Narul by his tail handing him straight to Asarina before walking over to the other two idiots and smashed their heads together. Everyone fell silent at that exact moment.

“Everyone to Komui’s office for a meeting, Allen you are to go do something else. This meeting doesn’t concern you.” The moment he gave me that look that he was going to argue back I shot him a warning glare and he immediately shut his mouth. I didn’t wait for anyone and just began making my way towards Komui’s God forsaken office. I was going to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

**Asarina has thing with Komui but knows it won’t last. What does cross know about her that no one else does? So many mysteries surround Asarina and will any them be revealed. Wait and see.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well we are now at a part where things are about to get hectic! I hope you enjoy ^_^!**

Chapter Ten- Strawberry gashes all over, all over.

It was difficult on the way to Komui’s office, and after what had happened in the office made me think of how much I might have hurt him. Narul was giving everyone worried looks; he only gave Komui the death-stare, I think he knew what was going to happen once we all were seated in the office. My heart was about to break and I finally knew that my whole world was about to fall into pieces. Looking at everyone just made me sick to my stomach, and I could not even look at Kanda or Cross. I just walked down the hallway with everyone following behind me. Probably curious about what was going to happen. I was fighting to hold back my tears and my fears were coming to life. Finally we all entered Komui’s office, I sat down on the couch that we had made love on and the memories all came back. I wish I did not have to tell him what or who sent me on this mission. I knew my time with him would only be a one shot but I was now wandering if it was even worth it.

“Now to business and to figure out why Allen could not be with us.” Komui said and sat behind his desk. I found myself unable to look him in the eyes. My mind was just overwhelmed and I could not keep up with my thoughts at all. I knew if I looked at him, I would burn. “General Cross, why is it you decided to have this meeting?” Komui then asked looking to the red haired man.

“Well first off, it is important that Allen not be here because… I don’t even know.” Cross said standing as straight as he could. “The only one who knows that is Asarina.” His finger pointed at me, and I knew at this point there was not going to be anyway to get out of here now. I was stuck in explaining the exact thing I was afraid to say.

“Asarina, what is the meaning of this?” Kanda yelled and got in my face. Big mistake, for Narul jumped and bit his nose. “What was that for?!” Kanda asked as Lenalee handed him a cloth for his nose which was bleeding

“That’s your fault, Narul is very territorial. He may be little right now but trust me he can fuck up someone’s face if he feels that I’m in danger.” I snapped back trying to defend my fireball.

“Well, in any case. What’s going on Asarina?” Lavi asked putting his arm around Lenalee and looking all happy. I’m surprised at how he’s not really all that affected by the seriousness of this meeting.

“It’s difficult to explain, but I started after I left to come here.” I say playing with Narul’s tail. “Please don’t get mad at me for any reason.” I add finally feeling the effects of there being some sort of spotlight on me. I sigh.

I told them of how Narul had a sister named Kalira and how a battle had formed about two days after leaving General Cross. This guy wearing a top hat and a girl on a broom, or was it an umbrella? I don’t remember. They had arrived on the road with four akumas. Eventually they had managed to distract me long enough and grab a hold of Kalira and found the note that Cross had given me which I had hidden with Kalira for safe keeping. Then a deal was offered. The guy in the hat introduced himself as Tyki and the girl was named Road. The deal was I bring back some boy named Allen Walker to a certain place and they would give me Kalira back. I was left in a position where I had no choice but agree to their demands.

“So my plan was to get Allen alone, sedate him and leave. Believe me when I say this, I didn’t originally want to do this but they have given me no choice! I don’t want Narul’s sister getting hurt or killed!” I said trying not cry. As I looked around, I noticed how many of them were thinking. Kanda gave me a death stare, but then shook his head and the look of hate vanished, this surprised me very much. Cross just stood there and Komui, just stared blankly at me so I couldn’t tell what either of them were thinking.

“Well, I see why you did not want Allen in here.” Komui said fixing his glasses. “The fact remains that Tyki and Road put you in a predicament.”

“I say let’s do it.” Kanda suddenly said said, and everyone stared at him in shock. “I don’t like it either but if we follow her to the meeting place and just as Allen is given over, we attack and they will retreat if we out number them.”

“It’s a bit risky but in all sense. It might work if we all play our cards right.” Cross said and I could not believe my ears. Kanda just came up with a plan to use the one person he loved as bait and trick Tyki. I could not let that happen and Cross to agree, it was not normal. Don’t they realize they not only will be risking Allen’s freedom but if this works they risk Allen hating them all?!

“Then let’s do it.” Komui said walking over to me. “Trust me, this will work and nothing bad will happen. True some might get injured but it’s a risk we are all willing to take. We want to help you.” He smiled taking my hands trying to comfort me. I move my hands quickly away standing up and go to the door.

“I’m sorry.” I say as I finally let the tears come out. I open the door and just run away from the place causing my pain. As I left I notice Allen and did not care. Narul was now hiding in my hair. How could I ever face him again, Komui what do you think of me now. I heard him call my name but I did not care. Once in my room, I locked the door and laid down on my bed crying still. Narul whispered something about going out and flying for bit. I was now alone in my room. My thoughts on Komui, Kanda, Allen and Cross, how could I let this happen? It was now certain that what had happened earlier with Komui was a mistake and yet I wished he was here with me.

 

**Allen’s POV-**

I was stunned to see Asarina run from Komui’s office with the said mad scientist running after her. The more I thought about it from me being ordered not be a part of it, watching Asarina run out and now Kanda walking out stopping to stare at me with raised eyes causing everyone else to stop and just stare it me brought on an endless void of suspicions. Though, what gave it away the most that I was a subject in this said meeting was when my master walked out and couldn’t help the look of apology that crossed his face. I couldn’t help the feeling of a blade of betrayal stabbing me in the back through my heart. There was just this pang in my heart and I couldn’t help but feel sad, angry and confused. If I was a subject why wouldn’t I be involved? I will find out if I am and hopefully I am told the truth. My hands slowly began to get clammy as Kanda let out a sigh and walked over to me. I grew anxious as I watched everyone else’s face become anxious. It was like they wandered if he was going to tell me something or not.

“Kanda…?” I began to ask but I was rendered silent when he wrapped his arms around me keeping me held close to him. I could feel my eyes become wide.

“Please don’t worry about it, everything is under control. Let’s just forget about this and go eat dinner, okay?” He asked, everything within me was shouting to argue back. All I do is just nod my head and soon I am walking beside my master behind everyone lost within my own thoughts. Every once in a while Cross will pat me on the back reassuringly but I just dismiss the kind act. All I can do is think back to what Kanda just said. Don’t worry about what? What’s under control? Forget about it?! How could I? Little by little my anger was just building so standing in the line for our food readings Jerry’s face I could tell he knew something was up and just held his hand up signaling he already knew what I wanted. Five plates of Mitarashi Dango all on one tray, even though this usually calms me down, honestly I doubt it will. When I sit down it’s across from Kanda, in between Cross and Lenalee, who was across from Lavi obviously flirting with him. Every once and a while I will look up and catch a glance with Kanda who was watching me as well. I could easily tell that he was hiding something with every time I’d look to him he’d try to avoid my eyes. So now I am keep my head down eating my Dangos.

“Allen is everything okay?” I hear my master finally ask and I just nod my head my anger too high for me to answer without something bad in my voice of some sort. Everything was slowly beginning to become hushed and I knew I was now the center of attention.

“I’m sorry Allen…I’m just trying to protect you.” Kanda said and felt something in me snap. Standing up I began to lift my tray off the table and slightly freeze and I could see Lenalee staring at me from the corners of my eyes. I startle everyone and cause the entire cafeteria to fall silent when I slam the tray down onto the table so hard the plastic thing breaks in half and small crack forming into the wood table we sat at.

“Protect me? Protect me?! Kanda tell me what you’re fucking hiding from me damn it!” I scream at him and I feel Lenalee stand up and move away from me. My entire body was twitching and I could feel my arm just itching to faze into the weapon of my innocence but I forced it down as to not scare the entire order.

“Moyashi it’s not any of your business now sit down, shut up and forget about it. It’s for your own good.” Kanda snaps and see his own body slightly twitch.

“Fuck it! I am not forgetting about it Kanda! You’re hiding something from me, ALL OF YOU are hiding something from me! Now tell me what the fuck it is!” I shout again my arms dropped by my sides my hands clenched into fists.

“Allen please calm down.” Lenalee says trying to reach for me but I only back away from her.

“Yea man, it’s really nothing to worry about.” Lavi also says and I know they’re just trying to calm me down.

“NO! If it was really nothing to worry about none of you would be trying to keep it from me!” I yell at them causing Lenalee to fall back into her seat in shock that I yelled at her.

“Idiot apprentice you will stop this nonsense right now.” Cross finally says standing from his seat towering over me trying to use his hard gaze to intimidate me, but sadly it makes it worst.

“Nonsense? NONsense?! First master I am not an idiot and secondly once again if it was nonsense then why the hell are you all hiding it from me! Just fucking tell me unless you guys don’t trust me then that makes full sense!” I snap and it catches him by surprise. I guess I am surprised at myself as well that I just yelled at my own master. Soon Kanda is standing from his seat.

“ALLEN! Shut up and calm down we do trust you but your anger is clouding everything!” Kanda yells and I can only narrow my eyes at him. Once again he is not looking me in the eye and it proves even more that they are all hiding something from me!

“Damn it Kanda you say you trust me but you can’t even fucking look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on! Just….god damn it just leave me alone!” I yell once last time before walking out one destination in mind. Komui’s office, he’ll tell me one way or another, that bastard scientist will tell me or so help me he will fucking die!

**Komui’s POV-**

I’m standing outside Asarina’s door knocking and pleading her to let me in. I’m not sure why she left crying and what did she mean by “I’m sorry.” Those words will echo in my mind until I find out what she meant exactly. I’m in love with her and I can’t stand to see her cry. I understand why she did not want to tell us about Kalira but I feel this is my entire fault. Did I manage to hurt her? My mind was unsure of what to do. I knew she was in her room, cause I can still hear her crying.

“Please, Asarina. I won’t touch you or anything. I just want to make sure you’re are okay?” I say with a heavy heart, and waiting for her to move or something.

“Go away. I just want to be alone.” She screams from inside her room. “Just leave me be, Komui.” I can tell she is now sobbing and angry at me.

“Look, I’m going to office. I’ll be there if you need me.” I tell her in a sad voice. I fix my glasses and begin to walk down the hall to my office. I was hoping she would have opened the door but I was wrong. Maybe it was because of the meeting but I suspect there was more to it. Maybe it was Kanda’s remark and how Cross agreed with him or maybe it was what had happened earlier between the two of us. I guess I will never know.

Opening the door to my office, I just stopped and looked around. It felt really lonely in here without her. As I walked past the couch, my mind was flooded with the memories of what had happened. The first ones to appear were when Asarina had begged me not to go and how beautiful she looked. Her eyes were filled with passion and her response to my touch was just overwhelming. The next ones were when she told us about Kalira and the plans to get her back. I then realized that maybe what had happened between us was because of the pain she was hiding. Was I just a play thing to her?

“No!” I scream out loud.

I place my head in my hands and try to get that thought out of my head. I must mean something to her cause most of the time she flirts with me. I will never understand the emotions of a female but I want to be with her. Asarina, what can I do to make you feel better? My decision at the moment was to give her space. Next thing I know I hear the door open. I look up in high hopes that it is her but I find a very angry Allen walking in. If had a choice between an angry Allen and a pissed off dragon, I would take the dragon any day.

**Allen’s POV (Again)-**

My mind was racing, my blood boiling, and my skin fucking crawling from the anticipation of wanting to get to Komui’s office before anyone could catch up to me and intercept me. If anyone would talk it would be Komui that is for sure! He can’t keep his mouth shut to save his fucking life. The site of his door was up ahead and I find myself slightly slowing down to a not so angry pace, so by the time my hand is on the handle I am calmly pushing the door open and stepping in. I was still pissed though and I knew Komui could tell from how he was staring at me now.

“Allen my boy what can I do for you?” He asks his tone of voice immediately changing to his hyper one and I can only narrow my eyes and cross my arms stepping closer to his desk.

“I want you to tell me everything you know from today’s meeting!” I snap this time my eyes narrowed dangerously at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Allen all of us only had tea and got to know Asarina is all.” He answers and it’s an obvious lie. This only angers me more and I drop my arms to my side watching him as he flinches. Bulls eye, I caught him.

“Bullshit Komui, you’re lying and you know it yourself. Now, tell me what everyone is hiding?!” I snap stepping even closer now. I wasn’t trying to intimidate him…no wait, yea I was.

“I assume that no one else would? Well that is good, because you don’t need to know anything Allen now go back to your room and calm down.” Komui answers seriously and I could tell things were just getting good now. I always wanted to get back at him for all the damn tests he’s run on me.

“I am NOT going to calm down Komui! I am tired everyone hiding something from me! If it is no big deal then there should be no issue in telling me!” I snap and I am angry with myself now because I’ve resorted to begging.

“Moyashi that is enough!” I feel myself twitch when I hear Kanda’s voice and I could only clench my hands into fists, lower my head and tightly shut my eyes feeling tears threatening to fall. Keeping my mouth tightly shut I turn around leave purposely ramming my shoulder into Kanda’s making my point known that I was pissed at him. I never looked back and just went straight for my room once I was able to break off into a run. I just wanted to be left alone, I just wanted to forget it all. I wanted to forget about everyone. I wanted to forget about Kanda and just leave this place. I will give them all 24 hours to tell me the truth. If they don’t then I will leave and never come back. I will leave changing my name and appearance to where not even Tyki or Road would find me. I will make sure I never slept again to ensure I could disappear off the radar. Now it was their choice to decide my fate.

God damn it all!

 

**Well there is chapter ten! Tell us how you liked it ^_^ we love your reviews! If you have any suggestions let us know. We welcome all suggestions!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well We have definitely been posting a lot. I mean we’re up to now chapter 11! YAY! I really do hope everyone is enjoying the fanfic. This chapter might be on the major short side due to whose POV it’s in. It’s sort of just a drabble. Please let us know by reviewing. Helpful criticism is highly appreciated. Have a great day guys! ~YaoiFanGirl1990**

Chapter Eleven- Watch Me Fault Him

Everything was whirling out of control that was for sure. Last night after the big fight between Allen and he had retreated to his own room and kept me locked out. I wasn’t worried about him hurting himself because in truth he couldn’t with all his devices taken away, but what concerned me was he knew all of us were hiding something from him. It was so weird to know exactly how observant my Moyashi was. I hated keeping this from him, but like Asarina had told us; the less he knew the better chance of Tyki and Road believing that she was truly giving Allen up. As much as I hated this plan all of us knew that it was the only way to get Kalira back for Asarina. Cross was going to be coming with us so at least I knew there would be no way of those Noah’s taking my Moyashi away. Here I am sitting in my room my back pressed up against the head board of my bed my head leaned back starring up at the ceiling. His words reverberating around inside of my head and they deeply hurt me even though they were so right.

_Damn it Kanda you say you trust but you can’t even fucking look me in the eye and tell me what the hell is going on! Just….god damn just leave me alone!_

I clench my hand into a fist by my side clicking my jaw from the hate I felt for myself for having to do this. Cross had warned me that at the end of this plan, things might possibly get worst between Allen I. It might get to the point of Allen possibly leaving me; that idea was not sitting with me very well. I refused to let that happen, I swore to myself that when this is all over I was going to make sure that I made it up to him. That is if he let me. I am brought out of my never ending thoughts at the sound of a knock on my door and Lenalee walking in.

“Hey Kanda.” She greeted me standing there with her hands linked behind her back and staring at me with those sad eyes of her. I knew she was worried about me, fuck we were all worried about one another plus being worried about Allen. Last night had just been horrible he had basically yelled at everyone.

“Any word on how he is?” I asked and I just hear her sad sigh as she walked over sitting on the edge of the foot of the bed her back to me.

“The only one so far to get into his room was Cross and well…as much as it was funny to laugh at with the General getting blasted out of Allen’s room I can’t laugh. He’s pushing us away Kanda and it’s only going to get worst. With what we plan to do we might as well literally stab him in the back with a knife. I fear for you to Kanda with what will happen to the both of you.” She says and I hear the strain in her voice knowing that she had begun to cry again.

“We can’t blame him Lenalee, he has a right to be angry with us. Not only are we blatantly lying to his face but we also plan to almost give him up to the very person that has caused him nightmares.” I say moving over to sit next to her.

“We can only pray for the best, we can only hope.” She says before burying her face into my chest crying, I can only awkwardly wrap my arm around her shoulders finally looking up to see Lavi was now standing in my open doorway with a sullen look and an ice pack on his nose. We both look to one another with that silent agreement that things were much worst with Allen’s state of mind than what we had originally presumed. I open my mouth to say something and he only abruptly holds his hand up to keep me quiet.

“Don’t ask because I am not repeating it. Just know that what he said sent Cross into an angered frenzy. Just you two keep this in mind, we’re probably not just going to lose a friend but we’re probably going to lose an exorcist in general. He swears that if we don’t come clean in the next 24 hours then he is disappearing from the Order for good. He will make sure we will never find him.” Lavi explains and Lenalee finally sits up with a gasp. I’m in too much of a shock to fully comprehend what was just said. Before I could let anything else be said I jump from my spot on the bed grabbing Mugen heading straight for Allen’s room. Before I can even reach the hallway Cross comes by grabbing my arm and purposely begins dragging me.

“Don’t waste your breath! He’s gone quiet now!” He hisses and I can only sigh and let myself get dragged. Things were defiantly bad, but I wasn’t going to let Allen become an ass. My anger had finally hit and I ripped my arm from Cross’s grip heading straight for the Moyashi’s room, only one thought in mind as I reached his door and banged onto it. I don’t care if he hates me after this, he will hear me out.

 

**Well there you have it chapter eleven and it was a bit longer than I had generally thought it was going to be lol. I’m just on a roll seeing as I am writing the next two chapters completely.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter is defiantly going to be fun to write and beat the hellish storm that’s going to hit at 2am….GOD I hate storms! You have NO idea how much I hate them guys. Well here’s to a possible all-nighter! Now on with the chapter.**

Chapter Twelve- You’re Living Like A Disaster

I jump at the sound of my door being banged on and I only hug Timcanpy closer to me. I knew who it was outside my bedroom door. I was still angry at him, and I meant my threat that if they didn’t come clean to me then I would leave and never come back. I know I was being selfish but I hated being lied to and I hated having things hidden from me. It wasn’t right, I was their friend and friends shouldn’t keep secrets from one another.

“Allen I know you can hear me! Answer this fucking door this instant!” He yells banging onto the door once more.

“Go away Kanda!” I scream back at him feeling my voice slightly crack at the end of his name.

“Fine stay in there but you are going to fucking listen to me Moyashi! All of us are only trying to protect you, you idiot! We aren’t telling you anything for your own safety. Now get out here and apologize to Lenalee and Lavi right now!” He continues to yell but by now I am covering my ears with my hands so I didn’t have to listen any longer to his angry outburst.

“Stop ignoring me damn it!” I only shudder at how angry he keeps sounding. I can only choke back a sob drawing my knees up to my chest feeling Timcanpy land onto my head. I refused to answer him now and I knew that was only going to proceed to piss him off.

“MOYASHI!” He finally yells and I’m not surprised when his fist goes through my door and I am left in shock as I watch him struggle to pull it out along with multiple voices yelling at him to calm down.

“I’m tired Moyashi! I’m trying my hardest to stay patient I really am but this shit has got to stop!” He yells and I feel my entire world shatter. I barely hear Lenalee yell at him. I finally move off of my bed going to a corner of my room to keep anyone from seeing me in that new whole in my door.

_Aw poor, poor Allen. All alone with even his boyfriend turning against him._

I am suddenly curled into a ball too afraid to look up to see if Tyki was really there or not. I could feel his presence right in front of me and all I could do was silently whimper.

“Allen?” I heard Lenalee’s voice, but I couldn’t answer.

_They don’t care for you Allen, but I do. I can take care of you my pet. I will always love you. I will never abandon you, never yell at you, nor will I ever hurt you._

“Stop…please.” I beg feeling hands on me, I was praying this was just an illusion. It had to be there was no way that he was here. He couldn’t be here all the sensors would be going off.

“Moyashi?” I hear Kanda call out worriedly, but I still couldn’t answer them.

_But why would I stop? We’re connected Allen, we have always been connected. Why can’t you see that I love you and that Kanda does not._

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I finally scream out feeling a burst from me the furniture about the room getting destroyed in some way. The dresser mirror and the windows all shattering around me; I found myself now standing with my back pressed against the wall the after image of Tyki fading with a smirk. I knew then that it was just an illusion. Before I knew the door to my room was busted in and Kanda was in front of me grabbing my shoulders. But I just couldn’t focus, I couldn’t react to anything. All I could do was stand there blankly.

“Moyashi…” He began to say and all I could do was lean my forehead forward onto his bare chest. I was still angry at him, at everyone, but if I needed some sort of contact or I’d surely loose myself.

“You’re right…I am living a disaster Kanda. I need to be alone for a while….To get my head on straight at least.” I hear myself say wrapping my arms around Kanda when he held me close to him. I could only cry unsure of what I should do anymore.

“I’ll take him with me Kanda. I think the two of you need some time apart.” I heard Cross say and I gave no fight when I was pulled with him out of the room. He kept his hand firmly pressed onto my as he led me into his room sitting me onto the bed.

“What am I going to do with you Allen?! Seriously, Kanda is right this has got to stop. I remember dealing with this when you were a child, but not to this extent.” He immediately began scolding and even though I could hear his words, I could hardly take them to heart.

“His illusion appeared just moments ago. Trying to coax me to go to him in some twisted way.” I explain suddenly, cutting him off from his next rant and he fell silent before letting out a sigh and sitting next to me.

“Listen to me Allen and listen to me good, that damned Noah is never going to touch you. Not as long as both Kanda and I are alive. That is a promise.” He said and I could only nod leaning over and resting my head against his arm. We sat like that for a while until we knew it was time for lunch. I blindly followed him to the cafeteria which was surprisingly empty.

“We’re arriving a little later than normal.” I only nod and I let him order whatever he wants for the both of us. I still didn’t have much of my appetite but I ate anyways just so no one would get worried.

“So when did the dreams with Tyki and Road begin?” He asks once we’re seated at one of the tables and I find myself playing with the spoon in the soup.

“A week after your supposed death, they got worst though a few days before I was turned into a sugar-glider by that damned scientist.” I explain and I look up when my master begins chocking.

“I thought they were joking when I was explained about what has happened with you.” He says and just begins to chuckle.

“I guess you can say that was in a way me and Kanda’s first fight because I ran away from him when Komui pulled a large drill and I thought it was for me. After I ran off I managed to get into town where I was picked up and almost taken away by a humanized Road. She never realized it was me. It made me wander that day if she and I weren’t on opposing sides if we’d be friends.” I found myself rambling taking a bite of my soup and a piece of the English roll.

“There are a lot of things that could have happened if there weren’t these opposing sides, but unfortunately we are. Just remember she’s your enemy out to trick you and not your friend.” He said and I only nodded my head before quickly finishing food every once in a while the two of us talking about something that has changed my life.

“Alright you’re free to go do whatever, that concludes your therapy session for this week.” He suddenly says standing up grabbing both our trays and I’m left in a bit of confusion.

“That was a thirty minute talk I promised to do?” I asked just blinking Cross turned and just nodded his head to me.

“And it wasn’t painful?!” I asked in almost shock and I watch him sigh and slump forward.

“Just get going, but remember until your room is fixed again you’re stuck in mine. OH! Stay away from Kanda that is an order I want you two to get some space for a few days.” He says, rolling my eyes I just wave to him and walk out of the cafeteria heading straight for Komui’s office where I’d find Lenalee and possibly Lavi. I’d at least get to apologize to them. Kanda will just have to wait until I’m over being pissed off at him. It doesn’t take me long to reach that weirdo’s office and I was right to find Lenalee and Lavi in there. They were tidying up the office and the plus was Komui wasn’t in there and I knew he was probably with Asarina.

“Hey,” I said walking looking down at my feet feeling awkward being around them after the whole thing at last nights’ dinner.

“Allen! Is everything okay?” Lenalee asks immediately, rushing over to me. I can only avoid her face. I did feel bad for yelling at her. She has always been a great friend.

“Yea everything is fine and I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for everything last night at dinner. I was out of line. Same to you to Lavi for last night and just earlier with the door in your face, I really am sorry.” I say looking off to the side rubbing my arm with my hand.

“We know Allen and we don’t blame you, but thank you for the apology.” Lenalee smiled grabbing my dangling hand holding it gently in both of hers. I could only stare at her in astonishment at how forgiving she could always be.

“Yea Allen, no harm done, well not completely but still don’t worry about that part. We don’t blame you for anything. You’re in the process of healing and it’s a long road. Hey I’m actually glad you got angry and hurt me instead of locking yourself up and doing something else. Kanda though you should…” Lavi began and I gave him an annoyed look and Lavi slowly began to laugh nervously.

“Not till he comes clean and apologizes first.” I say feeling my evil side slightly leak out before my face was back to a smile. “Anyways do you two need any help with tidying up Komui’s office?” I ask and Lenalee shakes her head no.

“I don’t care if Cross told you two to stay away from one another, Kanda is out in the training room. Go train with him and get back some sort of normality. You two both need each other to live normally. And I’ll be damned if I am going to deal with the moody samurai acting like he’s pms’ing. Now you get your butt out to that training room and let off some steam….both of you!” She snaps pointing her finger at me and I could only nod and hurry out of the room finding myself standing outside of the dojo room. I could hear Kanda training. Maybe the two of us blowing off steam will be good. Walking in I find myself in awe watching him fighting an invisible enemy, sweat glistening from his bare chest. I could feel something rise in my chest and my face become hot.

“I though Cross told us to stay apart?” I am shaken from my inner thoughts when he spoke.

“Yea well Lenalee thinks it would be good if you and I trained with one another to let off some steam. At first I was a bit skeptical but I think she has a point. Maybe it’ll help.” I say walking forward after taking my own shirt off throwing it in the direction I saw his.

“Well then keep in mind that I won’t be going easy you Moyashi.” He smirked tossing his training sword off somewhere before crouching down into a fighting stance.

“Likewise Bakanda.” I smirk crouching down into my own fighting stance before I knew it I had Kanda directly in front of my aiming his open palm at my chin. Back bending to avoid the hit I back flip before landing on my feet pushing off of the ground with ease back at Kanda swinging my knee towards the side of his head only for my knee to be blocked and he manages to land a hit on me with his palms connecting into my stomach sending me skidding back. I don’t wait and just head right back at him. The two of us fight for what seems like hours and it probably had been. We both collapsed by one another breathing heavily beaten and bruised. The sun was already beginning to set.

“So does….this mean…you…forgive me?” He asks in between breaths and I just roll my eyes.

“No…I’m still…pretty pissed…and will be till…you tell me…everything…and apologize.” I breath out before yelping finding Kanda a top of me each of his hands planted firmly by my head his lips upon mine as we both fight for dominance. Of course I loose.

“We…should get…to…dinner.” I am now panting after our make out session and I just watch as Kanda smiles and shacks his head before getting up and holding his hand out to me.

“We should, but remember, at the end of this I will be making it up to you.” He tells me and I can only nod. Heading over to where our shirts were slipping my long sleeved shirt back on as Kanda puts his back on as well. The two of us walk into the cafeteria in silence both of us with food on the mind. The moment we sit down with everyone we are bombarded with odd looks, minus Lenalee who knew exactly why we looked the way we did.

“Um I’m guessing the two of you actually did fight?” Lavi asked and I see my master giving us a narrowed look.

“Yup and Lenalee was right with it helping with blowing off steam.” I said smirking as Cross looked away and I spooned out a carrot from my soup and used the spoon to propel it directly into his face immediately going back to my food pretending I didn’t do it the second he had looked over.

“Baka Moyashi.” Kanda said smacking me in the back of the head and I just roll my eyes.

“So who won?” Cross finally asks and I only sigh.

“It was a draw.” Kanda answers and Cross is shocked to know that both Kanda and I were on par with one another. Dinner goes smoothly and soon I find myself in Cross’s bathroom showering before bed. I had forgotten my dream pills in Kanda’s room but really didn’t care. As I finish with the shower changing and collapsed directly onto the bed passed out. Part of me wished I had gone to go get them…

 

 

**Well there you have it guys chapter twelve. Hope you enjoyed it ^_^**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen- He said, “Kill me Faster”

_I knew where I was the moment I entered the dream world and all I could do was prepare myself as I walked around. I could hear a humming off in the far off distance, I could tell it was Road. Especially when she began to sing words, I knew she didn’t know I was there yet as I rounded the corner coming up from behind._

“ _Sennen ko wa sagashiteru. Daijina HEART to sagashiteru. Anata wa atani tashika me yo. Watashi wa hazume sukima dare” She sang repeating the words over and over now. She was playing with something in her lap and I finally see it’s a makeshift doll of a sugar glider. Her voice sounded so said as she hugged the stuffed animal to her. It kind of made me want to walk over and hug her, but the fact of her being my enemy kept my feet planted to the floor standing there watching her. I feel someone come up behind me and the fear of who I knew it was courses through me. I feel their hands slid up my arms to my elbows before wrapping the fingers around them pulling me into their chest, their lips dancing over the skin of my neck I feel tears welling up to my eyes biting my lip down so I wouldn’t make a sound. Though Roads song in a way was morbid, I didn’t want her to stop, I really didn’t want anyone to see me like this. I soon feel myself getting pulled away, pulled away from the song, away from Road. I am soon led out of the dream room to a different one, no furniture was in this room and it made me wonder, what was going to happen?_

_The moment I had the chance to I managed to rip away from the person and run to the other side of the room pressing my back against the wall. I watch as Tyki closes the door and it vanishes leaving me completely trapped within this room with him. The longer I watch him, the longer I stay in this spot, the more and more I wish I had gone back to Kanda’s room and grabbed the pills that let me control my own dreams. It made me wish that I wasn’t angry with Kanda, if it weren’t because of all that then I wouldn’t be stuck in this predicament. I could feel my body begin to shack and my breathing become erratic as Tyki slowly began to make his was closer to me. I braced myself, I knew there was no escape but I would run from him about this room as much as I could._

“ _Why are you so afraid Allen? It’s like this every time you know and it only makes me more worried.” He says stopping once he had reached the middle of the standing casually with his arms lazily crossed as he smiled at me._

“ _I am NOT afraid Tyki!” I shouted at him, even I couldn’t fully believe my own words. “And you’re not worried about me! If you were then you wouldn’t be tormenting me!” I shout again this time my words stronger, more believable._

“ _I do the things because I do care Allen. Look at you, you think just because your friends are there for you mean that you’re healing? I watch you very closely my dear boy. You’re only getting worst.” He says and I could only stare at him with wide eyes._

“ _You never truly wanted help. As you think to yourself all the time, you still don’t think you need help. I have to agree with you. If Kanda hadn’t barged into your that day, you’d still be able to do what you have done since the day General Cross has died.” He said once more and I find myself pushing my fingers into my hair the palms of my hands covering my ears._

“ _Stop it! You’re wrong! All Kanda wants to do is help me! All he wants to do is see me get better so I don’t have a reason to cut anymore.” I shout at him watching as tears flung from my face._

“ _No Allen, it is you who is wrong. You cut because it takes the inner pain away. You were never suicidal so what was wrong with a little incision that would quickly heal in a weak or two? You see Allen, I, understand your pain, I understand why you cut and why I don’t wish to change you.” He smirked beginning to walk towards me again._

“ _Please don’t.” I beg turning sideways doubling over slightly pressing my palms over my ears as hard as I could._

“ _But isn’t Kanda the one who is trying to change you? Isn’t Kanda the one you always have to wonder if he actually truly loves you? ISN’T Kanda the one who is hiding something from you my dear boy?” He asks finally reaching me grabbing each of my wrists pinning them above my head against the wall, forcing my back to press against the wall again. All I could do was stare at Tyki with fear filled eyes as he loomed over me. I was trapped in his spell and I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t even move from how afraid I was. All I could do was let out the strangled whimper as it forced its way through my throat. Tyki’s smirked only widened as he leaned his head down pressing his lips to my neck once again leaving a trail of kisses up to my ear._

“ _Just accept this Allen, its not like its real, you are in a dream of course. But I will have you my dear boy, you will be mine.” He whispers his hands trailing down my arms, his fingers dancing lightly over the scars that were upon them. I held back any noises that threatened to come from me. Tyki only chuckled as I felt his lust filled eyes on me watching me trying to fight back._

“ _Looks like I have to push you a little further my pet.” He says before pressing his lips to mine his hands now grabbing onto my cheeks tilting my head up to give him more access. I had let out a gasp which allowed him to slip his tongue into my mouth, it dancing across my own. My arms had dropped down to my sides as I was still unable to move. I couldn’t fight the feeling that it had to be Tyki’s doing making sure I couldn’t fight back. As he deepened the kiss Tyki pressed his body firmly against mine and I let out another gasp when I felt his knee pressed in between my legs. His hands once more began to roam down my body reaching the bottom of my shirt beginning to slide it up his hands lightly brushing my skin. He momentarily breaks the kiss pulling the shirt completely from before his lips are pressed against mine once more his hands now able to freely roam the skin of my chest. This making it harder and harder to not to make any pleasured sounds as a tiny moan erupted from me. He pulled from the kiss once more and I could see the smirk dancing across his face._

“ _Now that’s more like it my dear boy.” He says and I am letting out another moan when his head descends again biting onto the skin of my neck his hands beginning to roam lower playing with the draw string of my cotton pajama pants before pulling it loose. My breathing became erratic once more his fingertips dancing across the skin of my waist his thumbs hooking to inside the pants slowly pushing them and my boxers down my legs. I began to whimper again trying to beg him to stop but nothing came out. His lips begin to kiss down my chest his mouth moving over to the side taking my nipple bud into his mouth swirling his tongue around it before slightly biting onto it sending waves through me feeling myself clench my fists. I let out another tiny moan when he moved over to the other nipple and one of his hands gently grabbed onto my unwanted hardening erection slowly beginning to pump it. He continued this process for a bit until I was fully hard. He began to kiss down my chest again, I could feel tears falling from my eyes as I begged for Kanda to save me, for anyone to save me really. I knew though that it wasn’t going to happen. My eyes widen and I threw my head back when I suddenly feel his mouth around me._

“ _N-no….please.” I begged my voice cracking as I finally got it back, but he only continued and I only continued to cry and whimper keeping my eyes focused on the blackness above me. I let out a cry though when I feel myself come and I’m left crying even more._

“ _And now…it’s your turn my pet.” He whispers into my ear and I am forced onto my knees. He kept one hand pressed onto me so I couldn’t escape as he fumbled with the zipper of his pants pulling his own hardened erection out and I feel my eyes widen._

_KANDA!_

_I hear myself scream in my head as Tyki began to try and force me to but my mouth around his. I kept my mouth pressed firmly shut and I used my hands to press against his legs to keep myself pressed away. Everything freezes though when I hear what sounds like a sword being pulled from its sheath. Soon Tyki’s hand is removed from me and I can drop my hands wrapping them around myself feeling something drape around me before getting picked up._

“ _So is this another one of his creations?” Tyki asks stepping back making himself completely presentable now. I see Kanda now with his sword pointed straight ahead at Tyki an evil malicious intent emitting from him easily. I look up to see Cross, the one who was holding me a look of hate also upon his face._

“ _No we’re actually here you Noah Filth. Touch my Moyashi again and I’ll make sure to run you through the next time we meet face to face.” Kanda hisses and Tyki can only laugh. I find myself looking up into the blackness above me and I now see three lights and everything around Kanda, Cross and myself freezes and I hear a cracking sound like glass._

“ _Well I’ll be damned, you’re right Kanda.” I hear cross say but I couldn’t tear away from staring at the lights as I hear the previous dream shatter and fall into the now vast blackness around us. When it was finally gone, I knew it’d be awhile before any of us would allowed to reawake. Lifting my hand towards the lights I touch the water like substance watching as it began to ripple then fall upon us slowly morphing into the field I had created for Kanda and myself before. I was once again wearing my pajamas but I still kept the jacket Cross put on me held tightly around me._

“ _I’m such….an idiot.” I managed to choke out finally the tears falling rapidly now as I wrap my arms around myself. I feel Cross sit me down into the flowers before someone elses arms are around me keeping me held close. I didn’t care with how angry I was at him, I didn’t care about our fight, all I wanted was to be held in his arms, all I wanted was to feel safe again. The wall that I had always placed around me finally shattered into tiny pieces and there was nothing I could do even as it formed in the dream around us showing all my hated memories that drove me into this madness. I sat there in Kandas arms watching the memories feeling the reality of each one hit me as my resolve cracked more and more._

“ _Allen stay with us, don’t let them consume you!” I hear Cross shout at me I could feel my eyes were as big as saucers tears falling from them as the final memory came and I see myself at a younger age standing before Mana’s grave._

“ _STOP!” I scream and once again the three of us are floating in darkness the liquid substance spiraling around us._

“ _I don’t want to see it! I don’t want to it anymore! I just want to forget, I want to forget everything!” I began yelling and I feel Kanda’s arms encased around me more tightly as the three lights combine with one another and fill the entire area blinding us all. I reach my hand up and I have no clue what I was reaching for, all I knew there was something there and I wanted to grab a hold of it because it was my sanctuary, my resolve, my wall of protection._

 

I open my eyes.

I am starring at the ceiling of my masters room my arm still lifted into the air above me clasped shut like I had grabbed onto something. Opening my hand something falls from hit softly landing onto my chest. Lowering my hand I gently pick it up and examine it. A single feather, a grayish feather and I find myself crying again as I curl my legs into my chest turning onto my side holding the feather close to myself. I had no idea what it meant or why it had appeared. I feel myself burry my face into someone’s chest as their arms once again wrap around me.

“It’ll be okay Moyashi, everything will be okay.” I hear Kanda whisper continuously brushing his fingers through my hair. I feel someone sit on the edge of the bed by my and begin to gently rub my arms. I know it’s my master, but I couldn’t stop my crying, I couldn’t stop this feeling of helplessness as everything I had built up came tumbling down and there would be no way I could build it back up as quickly.

“Allen, let it all out. Don’t build it up again, not this time.” I hear him say but I know that the both of us knew that I was already building up that wall. Building that wall I kept all my horrible memories behind. If I didn’t build it then everyone would see what was behind this clown mask. Slowly my crying stopped and all I could do was lie there feeling nothing but a numb feeling looking down at the gray feather and watching at it slowly vanished.

“Moyashi?” I hear Kanda ask and I just lie there unable to move again, but this time it’s because I just couldn’t. This numb feeling weighed down on me and all I just want to do is lie here and do nothing. I finally lift my head up and see Kanda starring down at me with worried eyes and I can’t help but wonder why. He was keeping things from me again, he was lying to me. So that meant he didn’t care right?

“Stop…please stop staring at me like that.” I say and I’m not surprised at how blank my voice sounds. Kanda pulls me closer to him again forcing my head to turn sideways and rest against his bare chest over the tattoo that was there.

“I’ll go get us some tea, we are back to square one again. Square one from when Mana died.” I hear Cross sigh before leaving the room. After I hear the door to his room shut I finally force myself to sit up and I feel Kanda follow suit. He just sits there and I know he is waiting on me to say something.

“I’m still angry.” I say starring into my lap watching as bruises slowly formed onto my wrists from Tyki and I feel the sting of tears again.

“I know and I will wait as long as it takes until you’ll let me make it up to you.” He says, I watch as the bruises become darker and the memories flood my mind.

“I screamed for you! I wasn’t expecting you to actually come! I was afraid I’d be stuck there!” I choke out and you pull me into your arms again.

“I heard you, and you can always expect me to come for you. I always will. I will never let you get stuck anywhere with him.” He answers all of the fears I had voiced and I let out the strangled sob I was holding back unable to stop this time. Kanda just held me even when Cross returned with three cups of tea. Mine went untouched, as did Kanda’s. I cried and sobbed until I couldn’t shed anymore tears or let out anymore sobs. I sat there in Kanda’s arms until the numbness fully engulfed me and the wall I was building was placed back up but the effects from tonight will linger until I am able to finally place them back behind that brick wall.

Morning slowly came and it took me a while to motivate myself to climb out of the bed and climb into the shower. Normally I would look for the razor, but this numb feeling left me even uncaring for that. I stood under the water feeling its warmness starring up at the shower head letting the water pelt against my face. I hear someone climb into the shower with me and I don’t even have to look to see who it was, I already knew.

“I know you’re worried that I’m going to cut. I don’t know how long this numbness is going to last but it won’t allow me to cut. It’s a feeling of uncaring about anything. Until it vanishes I am stuck in this blackness.” I explain and he only hugs onto me pressing his face into my back and I feel his hot tears as he began to shack.

“I swore to you I’d never leave. I swore to you I’d never hurt you. But time and time again those promises are proven empty. But I make you this next promise that will never be broken. I swear to you Allen Walker that I will never stop loving you, I will never stop caring for you and I will never stop worrying about you. I will wait for however long it takes for you to forgive me. I will wait for however long it will take for you to give me a second chance.” He says, but I cannot answer for I couldn’t give him an answer at this time. His 24 hours was up and I did plan to leave once I was granted that opening.

 

**Well there you have it guys chapter Thirteen! GOD this took me forever to type! Sharva is so ahead of me and I still have fourteen and part of fifteen to do! Well lets get started with the next one. The next two will be probably a bit shorter than this here chapter but hey what can you do! ~YaoiFanGirl1990**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen- Strawberry Gashes All Over

Most of my morning had gone sluggish with it taking me an extra push to do something either from myself or from General Cross yelling at me to get on with it. Then again I had stayed the night in his room and I knew he just wanted me out. By the time I had reached the cafeteria for breakfast most of everyone had already left but the little circle of friends I had. Lenalee saw me and she held that sad face of hers as she starred at me. I could only nod to her before I made my way to Jerry ordering my food. Once I again I could tell he wanted to ask me but didn’t. He knew something was up but knew not to question me. Once my food was done I carried the tray and sat down at the table next to Lenalee who just sat there watching me. Everyone else had left by the time I made it there. That was fine with me, I really only wanted it to be Lenalee and I. Once she faced her tray again and began eating I slowly began to eat my own. I wasn’t even half way through with eating it when I suddenly lost my appetite and let my head lean over onto her shoulder my eyes closed.

“I’m making you worry again.” I whisper and I feel her head tilt against my own and I hear her sigh.

“Don’t worry about it Allen, Kanda told me what happened. At the moment he is keeping Lavi busy so he doesn’t bother you too much.” She explains and I could only sadly smile.

“Thank you for being here for me Lenalee. You truly are a great friend.” I tell her and she sighs heavily again.

“I’m always here for you silly! Stopping forgetting that, just get better so we all can have fun again.” She says and I only nod my head before sitting back up and finishing my food. She had finished eating first and left, probably to go find Lavi. I wasn’t that far behind her when I finished eating but I went to my room instead of anywhere else. I stood in the darkness my back leaned against the closed door blinding flipping the lock. I smile when Timcanpy flies over and lands onto my shoulder rubbing against my cheek.

“I know, but we have to go. I told everyone what would happen if I wasn’t told the truth.” I say and walked to the closet pulling the suitcase from it plopping it onto the bed and flipped it open. Everyone would be busy and giving me space before they ever realize that I had left. I quickly fill the suit case before slamming it shut. I open the window to my room using the drain pipe nearby to climb down. I wasn’t surprised how easy it had been to get out. My way into town was even easier. I walked through town my destination focused on the train station. I bought a ticket for the farthest place I could afford. Timcanpy and I now waited on a bench waiting for our train to arrive. My suitcase was laid in my lap. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t be able to go at this journey alone, but I’d wait until I was at my new destination before deciding on what to do.

“ALL ABOARD WHO’S COMING ABOARD!” I heard the conductor call out loudly and I look up to see that it was our train number. Standing to my feet I walk onto the train keeping my head down until was seated and then I was staring out the window my clunked against the glass. I had the hood to my exorcist jacket pulled up over my head and I made sure my gloves were securely on my hands. Slowly the train began to fill up and I wasn’t surprised that no one sat near me. I of course did look like a suspicious fellow. In reality I just wanted to be left alone. I could feel fresh tears coming on, I never thought that it would come to this. I never thought that I’d leave the Black Order. But all I could do was remind myself that everyone brought this upon themselves. I did warn them, and I knew none of them actually though that I’d leave. I kind of wish I could be there to see their faces when the realization did hit them.

I was hoping to use this now freedom to clear my head and possibly get stronger but I knew that wouldn’t happen. I was glad Kanda had brought al the pill bottle into Cross’s room so I had easier access to getting them. I had at least a month’s worth left and that meant I had a month of sleep left. After that I planned to never sleep again. It would keep Tyki off my ass and possibly throw him off my tail after a while. The train soon began to move and I was happy for that. The closest place I could afford a ticket for and leave me at least some money for a few nights at a few inns was 200 miles away. Which meant I was going to be on the train for the next couple hours, Timcanpy now sat in my lap curled and I sat there watching the scenery pass by. I felt like I was going on a solo mission except this one was given to me by myself and the requirements were to always stay one step ahead of the other exorcists, well I certainly have a challenge on my hands. All I have to do is avoid going anywhere I’ve already been.

As the day pressed on I could feel the disheartening feeling of wanting to be in Kanda’s arms but I knew that I couldn’t go back now. I couldn’t go back and throw the very thing I was trying to do. I wouldn’t be able to prove a point if I went back, it would only show that I was giving up and that I couldn’t live without Kanda…well that was partly true. One I never give up, but the other part was true in a way. There was no way I would be able to live without Kanda so I knew the moment him and I came face to face I’d go back but I’d live on my own as long as I could. Eventually my eyes slipped close and I fell into a light sleep.

I didn’t wake again until I had reached the stop I was to get off at. I still felt tired and I was surprised that I wasn’t visited in my dreams, maybe sleeping during the day is a better way to avoid Tyki, but…I wasn’t going to chance anything. Walking off of the train I let out the breath I was holding and aimlessly walked around town purposely getting lost in hopes to find the most out of the way inn that was hard to locate. I found it by nightfall, it was called Merry Mountain Inn. I was ecstatic when I found the place to be quiet cheap and included room and board. I would spend the night here before deciding anything more on what to do in the morning. Maybe Asarina could help me, I could tell she didn’t really want to be at the Order maybe this will be giving her the way out that she needs.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen- Call Her Over

My morning after staying the first night at the Inn was kind of boring. All I could really do was either walk around the place or read the pamphlets that were in the room. I had already eaten breakfast and I was out on the town exploring a bit. I was trying to 100% decide whether or not I was going to contact Asarina. But I had to find some way to know that she was alone. I could always have another person call for me pretend to be a friend of hers if someone else answers but I knew that wouldn’t really work all that much. So once again I was at square one. Sitting in a tree watching a group of kids playing kick the can in the park like area I held Timcanpy in my hands. I was so lost at what to do and I needed to think up something fast for at least by tonight. After a bit Timcanpy flew out of my hands and bopped me in the head before flying in a circle around my head.

“What are you trying to get at Timcanpy I don’t understand?!” I say leaning back looking up through the tree limbs starring at the clouds as they hover ahead. I feel myself becoming annoyed as Timcanpy continued to bop me in the head. I know he was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. There was one thing I did know and that was whatever he was trying to tell it was something I was forgetting something I was missing. Jumping from the tree I slowly began to make my way back to the inn. My hands were stuffed into my jacket pockets as I neared the inn once more. As I walk into the place I see the reflection of Timcanpy in a mirror but it was slightly distorted and shadowy and I feel my eyes widening in realization. Grabbing the yellow flying golem I run up the stairs. I make sure all of the windows are covered and that the door was locked.

“Timcanpy hook up with Kanda’s golem and have him fly to Komui’s office. They all should be looking for me by now.” I tell him standing by the foot of the bed and watch as Timcanpy’s mouth opens and becomes wide turning into a surveillance camera. I watch as Kanda’s golem leaves our shared room and begins to fly down the hallway of the order going towards Komui’s office. My eyes narrow and I feel myself smirk as I see that there was a meeting going on and not long after Kanda’s golem had gotten there that Asarina was left alone. Waving my hand at Timcanpy he closes the connection and I pick up the phone that was in the room dialing to direct number to Komui’s office phone. It begins to ring and I sit on my bed. I smirk when I finally hear it picked up.

‘ _Hello?_ ’ My smirk only grows wider and I know I have finally gotten my chance to ensure the Black Order never finds me again.

**Asarina POV-**

I was in my room most of the time. I only really left to get food and then i would return to my room. I could tell everyone was worried about me but what really annoyed me was the fact that they would not leave me alone. Lavi kept trying to talk to me about how avoiding my problems would only make me worse and that keeping my distance was making things worse. I just told him to mind his own business. Kanda was too busy trying to deal with Allen and Narul was mostly with him. I still can't believe that he decided to go along with my scheme. I just wanted to punch him.

Allen was just someone I could not look at but apperently he understood what i was feeling. He was feeling betrayed by everyone for keeping a secret that I had created. If he knew that it was my fault that they are hiding something from him. He might get mad at me as well. General Cross was the one who did not leave me alone. He wanted to make sure I was going to be okay and he was also the one keeping Narul out of trouble.

Then there was Lenalee. She wanted to know why I did not tell anyone the moment I got here and what my deal with her brother was; I just ignored her most of the time. Komui was the one person I just wanted to avoid. Most of the time he was trying to find me. I could not find myself to be alone with him. I was afraid of something happening. I wanted to forget what had happened between us. My thoughts were intrupted by my door opening and the wind on my back; I knew it was my fireball.

"Mom, you have to come to Komui's office." He said and he sounded worried.

I turn to look at him and gave him a puzzled look. "Why? Does Komui want to talk and bribing you with chocolate?" I reply to him.

"No, Allen is missing" Narul said half crying and then he landed on my shoulder. "We have to hurry."

Just like that I was running down the hallway thinking why would Allen leave and it was probably all my fault. When i reached the office. I noticed the door was opened and so I calmly walked in. I noticed Kanda was looking worried and Cross was concerned.

"Asarina, thank you for coming." Komui said and I noticed he was a bit happy to see me.

"So, does anyone know where Allen could be?" I finally ask looking to each person.

Everyone kept thinking of places. Narul thought of the bathroom and everyone laughed. Someone mentioned the cottage in woods, and Cross listed Allen's favorite towns. Lenalee and Lavi mentioned his favorite eat in places.

"Okay, so now we have a list of places." Komui said and stood up. "Now lets get moving." Just like everyone got up and left. Even Komui left with out looking at me.

My heart sank. I feared that would happen. Komui hated me now and once I got Kalira back, I would leave and never return. I just sat there and was now feeling like crying. I stood up to leave when the phone suddenly rang. At first I just stood there. Komui was out and it just ketp ringing.

"Hello," I said as i picked up the phone.

**Who is Asarina on the phone with? Komui can not even look at her. Wow so much going on. Will this termoil in her head and heart ever stop? Just wait and see in the next chapters to come.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 asked her if he was improving

The phone was silent for about ten seconds

"Asarina, is anyone there with you?" the voice had asked. I now knew who I was talking to. I could not believe that I was on the phone with Allen.

"Allen, where are? Everyone is worried sick about you!" I half say and half yell.

"Why did you leave in the first place?"

"I was tired of everyone lying to me and Kanda could barely look at me anymore." He said through the phone and I could tell that he had been crying. Or at least he sounded like he had been.

"They only do it to protect you, kind of like the way I protect Narul." I say calmly and playing with the phone cord.

"Allen, please come back. Kanda is really up set that you left."

"I dont care if he is up set with me. He should have not been keeping secrets from me." Now his voice was pure anger.

"I called to talk to you because so far you are the only one I feel I could trust." My heart sank and if only he knew the truth, I bet he would regret his last words.

"What can I do to help?" I finally asked after a few minutes of silence. I was not prepared for his response.

"I need Narul and you to come get me." He said and then I realized this was my chance to get Kalira back.

"Where are you at? Give me sometime to pack and I'll be there within two hours, depending on how far away you are from Paris." I tell him

"I need to get away. Komui is creeping me out." The last part being a lie, but of course he didn’t know that.

"I'm at the Merry Mountain Inn. About 200 miles west of paris." He tells me calmly,

"Don't tell anyone that you talked to me."

"Okay, well I need to get off before anyone comes in. We will figure out where to go once I get there." I say in a hurry.

"Okay, see you soon." He says and then hangs up. After i hang up, the next step I take is I take a piece of paper from my pocket. I reach for the phone and begin to dial the number. I find a map while the phone rings. I look at where Allen is and then find the nearest forest that is far from any town.

"Hello, may I ask who is calling?" The voice on the other side asked. I could only roll my eyes at it.

"It's me, Asarina, who else would it be?!" I say as calmly as possible and trying not to sound afraid.

"Well, what can I do for you?" He asks.

"The Highland woods. Be there in two days at sunset, I will have what you desire." I say with out hesiation,

"Make sure you bring Kalira and she better not be harmed or I will kill you."

"Well, I can't believe you managed to kidnap him. I will see you there." He says laughing and hangs up. I slam the phone down. I grab a pen and circle the location and write down for everyone to be there in two days at sunset. I could not believe how easy it was to get Allen to tell me where he was; let alone how easy he was to trust me. I leave the office and hurry back to my room to pack. Once in my room, I grab my travel bag and start packing. I pack some things for Kalira, then i pack a change of clothes, my short red yukata, my black pants and my red gloves. I pack food, water, money and a few blankets. I was now trying to figure out how to leave.

"Narul, you ready to fly?" I ask my fireball as I stand in the window.

"Yes." he says and then leaves my hair and flys out the window. He goes a far distance and when he returns, he is now the fire breathing monster of legends. I climb on his back and we take off.

"Are we doing the right thing?" He asks.

"Don't worry, they will know where to find us." I tell him as we head toward the inn. The feeling of being high in sky and far away from the black order was amazing. Yet i wished Komui was not mad at me. In any case we fly for about two hours and land a few miles outside of town. It was then a merchant stopped and asked me if I wanted a ride. I glady acceepted and I could feel Narul in my hair. He usually always hid in the company of strangers but occasinaly he would start talking if he felt comfortable. After arriving in the busy town, I got down from the wagon and thanked the merchant. I was left trying to find my way to the inn Allen was at. After reciving directions every time I got lost; I finally found it. Once inside I tried to find Allen but it was so crowded that it was hard to see. Eventually I found an empty table and sat down. I needed to clear my head amd organize how I was going to do this.

"Glad you made it." A familiar voice said, I turn around to see Allen smiling at me. Despite everything that had happened, I was not sure if I could do this.

"Glad you are all right. Everyone is worried about you." I tell him as he sits down. I notice Narul poke his head out and waved a paw to Allen. Then he went back into my hair.

"You tell me that but I don't think they are; were you followed?" He asks me and knowing the truth of that matter was a little bit of both.

"No, Narul and I left the order through my window." I say to him.

"Using the front gate would have caused some concerns."

"I still don't think anyone is worried about me. If there were then Kanda or someone should have told me the truth." He said sadly and my hidden plan was taking its toll on him. I could only stare at him for the time being.

"I just feel so betrayed and no one trusts me it seems."

"They trust you Allen but sometimes people keep secrets to protect the ones they care most about." I tell him while I feel like vomiting. It’s all my fault that this has happened.

"Things only get better from here."

"So, what happened in the office between the mad scientist and you? Everyone was looking concerned but then noticed me." Allen asks as he gave me a puzzled look. I still dont understand why he looks so much like my mom, I only had one picture of her.

"Well, its complicated. I was not paying attention at the meeting and he yelled at me." I say hoping he believes my lie.

"You do know he has a major serious crush on you right?" Allen states and I find it hard to believe.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to ask you anything about the meeting. Right now, I can only trust you."

"Kanda is worried about you, Lenalee looked like she had been crying, Lavi was upset, General Cross looked like he wanted to kill someone and Komui looked depressed." I tell him trying my hardest to stay calm.

"So what, If they told me the truth I never would have left and I'm done with everything." He says and stands up.

"Come on upstairs, I got a double bed room."

"Good idea, Allen" Narul says as he yawns.

"I’m ready for bed." I reach back in my hair and pat his head and I feel him lick my hand. He had a long flight but I know he is happy. As we walk up the stairs to the room with Allen I wonder if i should sedate him before we meet up with Tyki, and maybe I should tie him up. Never the less, I really did not want to do this.

"Here is the room." He says breaking my train of thought and opens the door.

"Now lets get some sleep." We took turns changing in the bathroom. When I got out, I noticed Narul sleeping on a pillow that was on the bed closest to the window. I could only laugh at my fireball cause Allen was making an angry face at him. "Its the window." I say as I walk over to them.

"The window gives him a sense of not being in a cage."

"I didn’t realize he had an anxiety issue." Was Allen's response.

"How did he get that?"

"Well, he got out one day and was found by a person in town. They needed money and caught him." I explain as I sat down beside my little guy.

"They put him in a cage. My dad and I went to look for him. It was then I noticed him in a metal cage, crying in the market. We walked over to the merchant with the guards. The merchant put up an argument but in the end it was give me Narul or face criminal punishment."

"Why would he face criminal punishmemt?" He asks with a puzzled look.

"My dad was a member of the Chineese imperial court and had documents that proved Narul was mine." I say smiling.

"Wow and by the looks of it you won." Allen said laughing and climbed into the other bed.

"Its no big deal. I understand."

"I love Narul and I'm willing to do anything to protect the ones I love." I say getting under the covers.

"Night Allen, tomorrow is going to be a long day."

"Okay night, and you’re right we have a lot of walking." He replies with a yawn before closing his eyes and falls asleep. I cannot believe he is trusting me. I was leading him to his doom if the others did not see the mark on the map. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep eventually. Day one of our journey began with breakfast at the inn. Narul decided to come out from my hair at the smell of bacon. I swear this dragon only thinks of eating pigs and cows. It was funny seeing all these people who were just waking up and think they are still dreaming. Most of them had hangovers, which only made it ten times more funnier. The maids and owner of the inn seemed to enjoy him. Up until they ran out of bacon, although Narul helped a lot by keeping the stove nice and hot. Also he kept the furnace running. I could only smile at how happy he was. After paying for our stay we left and headed to the next town. Unsure of what to say to Allen as we walk, our journey to the Highland Woods was going to be hell. Im not sure how long we walked before i noticed Narul fly out of my hair.

"When can we take to the sky?" The playful little guy asks as he does loops.

"I want to go high in the sky."

"Fireball, we are not yet far enough from the city." I explain to him.

"You fly around but do not go too far. Stay close." Was my final warning to him. Then he dissapeared into the trees.

"Well, he sure is eager to fly away." Allen says smiling.

"Does he get out much?" "He does but he does not trust that many people. When we travel on the open roads and through the forests, he likes to explore." I calmly explain.

"So, you know a little about me. What was your family like?"

"Well, I can't remember my mother or father. I was taken in by a traveling circus for a while, but unfortunately I was treated very poorly there. That's when Mana found me and took me in. He was my only family in a sense." He says sadly.

"Well, what happened to him?" I ask trying to figure out his pain.

"Well, I turned him into an Akuma, when the Millennium Earl told me he could bring him back, got cursed by Mana and found out that I was an accommodator of innoscence. I also met General Cross around then, the man took me in and became another father figure to me I guess." He says calmly, a bit too calmly in my point of view. "Who is the Millennium Earl?" I ask it seems Cross had not told me many things I should have been warned about.

"Well he created the akuma and he has sided with the Noah Family." He tells me. I can see his hands clench into fists.

"The Noahs are far worse than him. They lie, cheat, and hurt anyone who gets in their way." He picks up the pace and I'm left wondering if giving Allen to Tyki is a bad idea but I have to get Kalira back. My thoughts are broken by a sound not too far away.

"Mommy, I hurt my wing. "I hear Narul yell in the distance.

"I flew into a tree chasing a squirrel." I can see him walking toward us and carrying the squirrel in his mouth.

"You little devil, how can you already be hungry after eating over 300 slices of bacon, 40 steaks and 20 eggs." I say running past Allen to get him. Placeing the squirrel down and looks up me to smiling.

"I was hungry and I wanted to hunt."

"Narul, you have to be more careful." I say as I pick him up.

"You forgot the squirrel." He says and points to the dead animal.

"You really are a handful." I hear Allen say as he stands beside me and then he begins to laugh.

"So are you going to pick that up?" Eventually we decided to rest and that way someone could eat his catch of the day. Thankfully his wing is not broken but it is only sore. After he eats he climbs up my leg and hides back in my hair, and soon we are back on our way. It was then Allen became quiet and I did as well. I could not think of a single thing to ak him. I know that talking about the Noahs was a very bad idea. Kanda had told me that was a subject not worth talking about. After about a good three hours walk, we finally reach the town of Highland. We walk around to find a place to stay for the night. As we head up stairs, I thought I saw Kanda. If it was truly him, then that means they have already formed a plan. Step one would be to remian out of sight untill tomorrow after sunset.

"Tomorrow is going to be a disaster." I say out loud as we entered the room.

"Why is that?" Allen asks giving me a worried look.

"Don't get worked up but I thought I saw Kanda as we were walking upstairs." I tell him. I saw his eyes just glare and his face turn pale.

"Well then we leave extra early and then where do we go to so we can avoid him?" Allen looks at me and I finally have him right where I want him to be.

"We can take the dangerous path through the Highland forest. No one travels it anymore." I suggest to him

"What is in those woods?" Was his next response.

"Well, they were cursed after the new road was built by a witch and all who enter are never seen again." I explain to him. I wait for his answer. Sure enough, he agrees to take the path and now comes the most difficult part of my mission. If it was not Kanda I had seen earlier, at least I would have the means to track him for four days. My thoughts now went from that to my reunion with Kalira. We say good night and fall asleep but only to see Narul doing summer saults in the air. His wing was now ready for flight. Day Two We wake up, pay and leave. I feel terrible in a way. I know what happens at sun set and i just can’t get over it. What if Kanda and the others are not actually here yet? I have no choice but to sedate him.

"Asarina, are you okay?" Allen asks as we walk towards the woods. His eyes look so much like my moms now.

"I'm fine." Was the only thing I can say to him and I just walk on a head. Not wanting to be by him. I secretly hand Narul the needle with fluid needed to put him out. We walk in silence. I have a feeling Allen might decide to run.

"Are you sure you know where we are going?" He finally asks, but then out of no where, Narul injects him.

"What...was...that...for?" Were his last words before he fell to the ground.

"He is out now mommy?"Narul asks sadly.

"Why do we have to do this."

"It is for your sisters sake that we do this." I reply as I tie Allens wrist together.

"Time to grow bigger. We will fly from here to the clearing." He can tell I didn’t want this but we have no choice. My only hope is that Kanda and the others see Narul take off. I had decided to wear my short yukata and black pants. I was unsure of what would occur. Eventually we reach the clearing. My heart and mind are about to break. Im getting her back but giving up someone to take her place. How could I let this happen? First she was taken, the deal was made, my first plan, and then Komui. Just thinking about him brought me to tears. Narul is looking at the sky. That is when I noticed the sun was setting.

"Well, I'm glad you made it, Night Tracker." I turn around to see Tyki by a tree on the other side of the clearing.

"It amazes me that you tricked him."

"Where is Kalira?" I scream in anger and trying to hold back tears.

"I want to see her."

"Don't worry. She is fine." Road says coming out from behind the tree. Kalira is wrapped in the same blanket as last time I saw her. I notice Allen is waking up and then his eyes open. I notice him freeze when he sees Tyki and Road.

"Why are you doing this?!" He screams at me.

"How can you do this?"

"Well, looks like my pet is finally awake. I’m happy you sedated him Night Tracker." Tkyi says walking toward us. He stops when Narul growls at him. I signal Narul to follow me. We walk to the middle of the clearing.

"This is as far as I go. Bring me my daughter, now." I say. At once Road and Tyki start their walk toward us. Road looks sad but cheerful at the same time somehow. Tyki has a look of madness upon his face. I feel emotions of guilt but Allen's face is calm. If he trusted me before, my hope is that he trusts me still now. Road runs ahead and hands me Kalira.

"Don't worry I took good care of her. I could never hurt something as cute as her." Road says smiling.

"Now hand over Allen." Tyki says and thats when we all hear a loud opera voice and a katana come between Tyki and us.

"Kanda!" I shout all at once Narul grabs me and Allen. The next thing I know we are in the sky high above. We see Cross, Lenalee, Lavi, a short old guy with a pony tail and Kory. Narul drops Allen off by Cross which he unfortunately lands on top of the general, I’ll apologize to him later for that. Then we head off toward the forest before landing somewhere in the middle of the forest away from the fighting. I cant help but cry at how she is sleeping.

"My little girl, I'm sorry." I whisper to her. I sat down next to Narul and just cradle her. The fight must not have been that long cause in the distance i hear voices. It sounds like they are talking about what color scales Kalira had.

"So what color are they?" I hear Lavi ask me as loud as possible, the moment he woke her up she started crying and I could only shoot a glare at the one eyed red head. As I hold her and rock her, Cross comes up behind Lavi and smacks his head.

"You idiot, who ever said Kalira was a dragon? Kalira is Asarina's child and human at that." He yells. It was then that I stand up

"Narul can carry all of us back to the order." I say and climb on his back. Everyone else gets on as well. Cross grabs Allen and keeps him from falling off. The flight back was quiet and long. My mind would never quiet or be calm until I was safe on the ground with my daughter. I don’t know how long we had been flying until Narul began to speak.

"Hey, I can see the tower from here." He says happily.

"Oh man! Why does Komui have to be waiting for us?!" It was then everyone starts to laugh. When we land Komui helps me down and he is shocked that Kalira is a child. It was then Allen got off that things went badly.

"So, this was the secret that was kept from me?!?!?!?!" He yells and makes his hands clench into fist.

"It was my fault Allen. I asked them not to say anything. I had to get Tyki to believe that I was not setting him up. "I calmly say and I notice his eyes are not on me but on Kanda.

"Bakanda!" He yells and then runs into the order. Kanda and Lenalee follow him immediately. Cross just looks at me. The rest of us enter the order and I go to my room and get changed. After that Reever knocks, the science team sets up a crib, and changing table for Kalira.

"Well that was nice of them." I say putting Kalira down in the crib.

"I guess." Was Narul's answer,

"I still think Komui had something to do with this."

"Even if he did. I'm greatful." I snap back,

"Keep an eye on your sister. I have to explain things to Allen." I explain now heading to his room. On the way there I hear talking from up ahead. I could tell Kanda is very furious that Allen won't let anyone in once again. My name is mentioned as being an actual mother. I look to see Kanda walking away from Allen's room.

"This is your fault!" He stops in my way and says,

"You should never have come here."

"Do you really think I wanted this to happen?" I ask angrily.

"I don't know Night Tracker." Was his snarky reply his eyes narrowing at me. I find myself smacking Kanda across the face and kneeing him in the gut, he is now on the ground

"So, what if I am the assassin known as Night Tracker." I snap,

"If everything went south we would have had only four days to find him before the device I put in him went dead." I walk around him and continue to Allens room. Once there I get composed.

"Allen, it’s me Asarina. I just want to talk." I say and expect to be told to leave. Instead the door opens and I quickly enter.

"Did Kanda put you up to this?" Was his first question. I could tell he was very pissed.

"No, but now that it’s over, I think you should know what exactly went on in that meeting." I tell him as I lean against the wall.

"Just remember that it was my fault they kept it from you." I then explain the whole event with Kalira being kidnapped by Tyki and Road, the bargian, and me accepting it. He seemed shocked at some parts.

"Then Cross came to me and asked about it. Next thing I knew I was explaining my situation and about Kalira." I say while walking toward the window.

"After that Kanda said we should do the plan and even though he knew it might backfire. Cross agreed immediately and everyone else agreed eventually."

"I see." Was the only thing he could he say. After a brief silence he continued.

"So, me contacting you to get me put your plan in motion? How did they find us?"

"Who those two bastard Noah’s or the ones part of the meeting?" I asked trying to figure out who he meant.

"I guess both." Was his reply and I could tell that he was unsure of what to think.

"I marked the meeting place on a map and left it on Komui's desk and called Tyki from a number he gave me the night I was separated from my baby." I explain going toward him,

"In any case you know the truth. So, don't get mad at your friends. If anything be mad at me."

"How can I be mad at you? You may have caused it but you have a child." Allen said,

"I’m only really mad at Kanda. That is why I left."

"Are you going to be okay? Don't hide in your room. I can always send Narul to get you out of here." I warn him heading toward the door.

"I won't sulk in here and I think I might go to sleep." He says with a yawn pulling a bottle of pills from his suitcase.

"The sedation drug might still be in your system. I’m here if you need to talk about anything." I say as I leave his room and walk down the hallway. I notice Lenalee staring at me with hopefulness.

"He is going to be just fine. Right now he is sleeping and I think we should as well." I say her and I continue walking to my room. I had to get back to check on my two little ones. Once inside my room I check on them and both are sound asleep in the crib. I change and climb into bed. Slowly I drifted to sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Hey we’re back and I hope you enjoyed Chapter Sixteen! That was our major worry was that chapter! Also everyone give Sharva a round of applause on it she did a great job ^_^! This chapter and the next chapter are written by me YaoiFanGirl. At the end of this chapter I will type out all the character POV’s each of us type just so everyone knows who exactly is writing which characters parts.**

Chapter Seventeen- She Said

I had only walked with Asarina until we reached her room and she disappeared inside. Even though that she was the one who in a way caused all this trouble, but I couldn’t blame her. She had her child to protect and I knew if it were anyone else in the order the same plan would have been formed. I can’t blame Allen for being mad at any of us because we did in a way back stab him. I know Asarina said that he was going to be just fine but I couldn’t help the sinking feeling that he is about to only get worst. I snap out of my thoughts to see myself still standing in the hallway starring at her door. I look back to behind me in the direction of Allen’s room and I am itching to go back and plead to for him to let me in and talk to him. I knew it would be pointless and I can’t help the over whelming feeling of wanting to cry. Allen has never gotten this mad at any of us before even when we were first hiding something from him. Now I see why Asarina was hesitant in doing this plan. Taking a deep breath I quickly begin walking down the hallway one set destination in my mind as I hoped my brother wouldn’t get in my way. I doubted it though lately his thoughts had been on Asarina and that made me happy with the thought that maybe he’d leave my love life alone finally. Finally reaching my destination I stare at the door unsure as to why I was so afraid at the moment before reaching up and knocking on the wooden door dropping my head to stare at my feet. I continue to stare at them even when the door opens and I am surrounded in the light from inside.

“Lenalee? Are you alright?” I can only smile sadly and walk forward before leaning my forehead onto his shoulder finally feeling the dam of tears flood open my hands grabbing onto the front of his black t-shirt. He doesn’t say anything and just wraps his arms securely around me leaning his head against mine; in a way cradling me to him.

“I can’t take this Lavi! I can’t take seeing all the pain most of everyone is going through. First it’s Allen being stuck in his depression of darkness. Next it’s Asarina for who knows why! And then it’s my brother who watches Asarina with sad eyes knowing he can’t have her. The finally it’s Kanda who is obviously stuck in a rut not knowing what to do to help Allen when Allen doesn’t let him or any of us in! I don’t know what to do Lavi; I’m scared of losing any more of our friends!” I cry into his shoulder feeling myself beginning to shack in his arms.

“Come on let’s get you inside and laid down, you can sleep in here with me tonight.” He says softly keeping me held close to him in a way then leading me into the room shutting the door behind us. I am led to the bed where he sits me down before going off disappearing to another area of his room and coming back with a white t-shirt and gray cotton pajama pants. I nod my thanks to him before slowly changing there with him sitting on the bed next to me. After changing the both of us just lie on top of the covers facing one another. I had my eyes lightly closed in relaxation from him gently brushing his fingers through my hair.

“I know how you feel. Trust me I do. I don’t know what to do for Allen and Asarina since the both of their situations are oddly similar with their attitudes matching as well. Asarina let Komui and Cross handle her. Allen same thing but with Kanda and Cross dealing with his ass! For them there is nothing the two of us can do. For Kanda well all we can do is stand by his side and be there for him when he comes to us for help or advice. He may act like a moody asshole but he’s as clueless as a grade schooler when it comes to love. And for your brother, just your presence alone as his sister is enough to help him through the hard times Lenalee. And for you I am always here like I know you’re there for me.” Lavi explains and I open my eyes to see him slightly starring up at the ceiling with far away eyes and all I can do is smile. My boyfriend had to be one of the greatest people I know.

Lifting up onto my knees I lean forward and press my lips to Lavis’, running my fingers into his hair pushing the bandana from him. Lavi kisses me back and snaking his arm around my waist pulling me down onto him. I feel his hands run up my back pushing the white shirt up and off of me tossing it somewhere in the room before his hands are back roaming along my skin. I break away from the kiss for a moment starring down at Lavi with a smile, he smiles back at me reaching up with his hand and pushing his fingers into my hair.

“Lenalee I want to spend every day for the rest of my life with you.” He whispers and I feel happiness welling up inside of me as I kiss him. No other movement is made and I just lie there on top of him in his strong arms kissing him. We soon just break away and just lie there quietly again in each other arms. I eventually find myself dozing off and soon I am left in the dream world.

 

_ **Lavi’s POV-** _

I sat awake starring down at Lenalee a small smile dancing across my face. She was so cute when she was asleep. When she came to my room a few hours ago, she had me so worried, especially when she broke down in tears. She has been holding in quite a bit and I can’t blame here. Like Allen I worry about her mental health because the both of them are always trying to make the rest of the world happy before themselves. I care about Lenalee a lot and I hate seeing her upset, and it makes me frustrated when I see her getting worked up over the same things. I’m just glad she finally came to me instead of it eventually eating at her and she one day just blows up. Leaning down I place a small kiss on her forehead before slipping out of the bed and leaving her note I went to go get a midnight snack, just in case she wakes up. It was past midnight actually rounding to be 4 am, and soon people would be waking up. As I’m walking through the halls I am shocked when I see Allen heading towards the exit, probably to go to town. I know some places were probably open, but why would he be going this early in the morning. I didn’t want to think about it, but I knew it was probably him going out and buying a new razor since all his others were confiscated. I had no proof to prove this allegation against him and I probably should follow him, but…It would look strange for me to follow him in only pajama pants. And, by the time I went back for a shirt and go back over here he’d be way well into town. Kanda was probably already awake and in the dojo and I knew I should go tell him, but at the moment there was already enough going on between them and things needed to cool down and I wasn’t about to start another fight. So I continued on to the cafeteria to sneak into the kitchen get some food and go back to sleep.

 

**Well here is chapter seventeen. I know it’s kind of short but I am running low on awakeness and my caffeine is doing nothing for me so this is what you get LOL! Also I am sorry for there not being a WHOLE lemon scene between Lavi and Lenalee, it’s been AGES since I’ve done a Male X Female goody goodness scene that well….I just couldn’t accomplish this. So, I’m just gonna stick to what I think I do best, yaoi goody goodness scenes! Well let’s hope the next chapter is better!**

**YaoiFanGirl1990(Me) : Everyone minus Asarina, Narul, Millennium Earl**

**Sharva: Some of everyone minus Allen, Kanda, Tyki, Road**

**At the moment though I am doing the majority of everyone. I will be typing out a Komui POV here soon but it is mainly written by Sharva since she knows his character personality better than I, along with the Millennium Earl’s. Hopefully by the sequel I will be able to write their POV’s if not Sharva will be writing their parts once again! Well Until next time. Please Review us we love our reviews. Also after chapter 21 is posted Sharva and I won’t post for a bit because Chapters 22-24 will be brainstormed heavily and that might take us a bit of time. Just an early heads up!**


	18. Chapter 18

Strawberry Gashes

Okay so here I am on a half brain because I am so exhausted! I didn’t get much sleep so yea I am just bleh and trying to write a chapter. Well with the personality of this chapter…my bleh’ness is going to help it. LOL I hope you guys enjoy this we are finally back in Allen’s POV, YAY! So yea enjoy and don’t forget to review at the end!  
Kurie-Tibiti: You will be getting your wish this chapter about Kanda LOL xD. Though....this chapie isn't all happy and giggles.

Chapter Eighteen- Feels Fine

Even though I had told Asarina that I was going to go to sleep, I never actually did. I only laid in my room starring up at the ceiling with blank eyes remembering what all had just occurred, my most recent dream encounter with Tyki, and everything else in between. Timcanpy was curled up on the pillow next to mine and I just smile. Sitting up I pull my knees up to my chest and just sit there feeling that urge again. This time it was even greater and I had already ransacked my room once looking for anything to relieve this pain. There was a razor lodged in the corner in the wall, but it was wedged in so far I couldn't get it out. Walking over to the closet I pulled out another one of my many long sleeved shirts adding my exorcist jacket as well pulling the hood over my head. I left my black pajama pants on before slipping on my shoes and headed out the door. No one would be up this early in the morning. Sides from Kanda, he was probably at the dojo by now, most likely has been there since last night when we got back. Letting out a sigh I turned down a corner which led to the main gates to the order leaving and heading into town.

In town it was quiet and very little people were out, most were the drunks trying to get home or go to an inn for the night. There were the shop owners who were heading to their shops to open up for us early morning shoppers. The air was still nippy and cold but I didn't mind it as I reached the place I was looking for. It was the only shop that never closed. A supporter of the Order opened it and always kept it open. At this time though I knew she wasn't in, so I wouldn't be questioned with what I was buying. I walk in and see the cashier girl behind the counter talking with a customer, or probably her boyfriend, giggling and flirting away. So she didn't notice me walk in. I was okay with that as I headed down the isle I knew so well. I stood in front of the sharp objects. I could feel my breathing becoming eratic again before I finally reached out and took hold of the item. I knew I was screwed the moment someone found out about it. After I paid for it I simply slipped the package of four razors into my inner jacket pocket and headed straight back to the Order. When I get back I don't head straight for my room. My eyes are set on another direction and I find myself standing infront of the doors to the Dojo.

"Well this is defiantly going to be interesting." I whisper to myself and push open the door silently slipping inside and shutting the door silently. Kanda was seated in the middle of the room meditating. I could feel my anger building slightly as I peeled my exorcist jacket off and laid it onto the floor before I turned back to my idiot of a boyfriend. He still hadn't shown any signs of noticing I was there. Well, he did notice he showed no signs of acknowledging me! Pulling my shoes off I kept one held into my hand gripping onto it tightly before reeling my arm back then chuncked the shoe as hard as I could. It connected with the back of Kanda's head. I had slowly walked out until I was a couple feet from him waiting for him to regain composure from me snapping him from his meditation. My arms were at my sides, my hands clenched into fists. The anger inside me had reached ultimate boiling point and it was boiling over the pot becoming oil and feeding the flame.

"Moyashi...I know you're upset but can we try to calm down so you and I can talk this out?" He asked standing to his feet reaching out to grab me but I stepped back.

"No!" I snap and his eyes widen in shock from the hate in my voice. His shock turns to his stoic mask and I'm angered even more. "I'm not upset....I'm fucking pissed! This is now TWICE you have kept something from me! First knowing about the return of my master and now this....I don't know what I should be more angry about...You keeping it from me or the fact that you were the one to come up with the plan!" I yelled.

"It is why I didn't want you to worry about it! If you knew the plan you might not have been able to make your part believable Allen." His response makes me snap and I am suddenly directly in front of him punching him across the face. I'm not shocked that it sent him to the floor onto his back.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME ACTING ABILITIES KANDA! BEFORE ANY OF YOU KNEW ABOUT MY CONDITION I WAS ACTING EVERYDAY!" I scream at him grinding my teeth together and feeling my body shack. Nothing else is said after that and the both of us are fighting once more. But not your normal sparring trying to up the other. Kanda had tackled me to the ground and the both of us wrestled around trying to subdue the other. Punching each other, kicking one another if we had the chance. 

"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF TYKI SUCCEEDED IN GETTING ME YOU BASTARD?!" I yell again and that comment causes him to freeze as I ram him into the wall punching him a few times across the face. He quickly regains composure and pushes me enough to land a kick into my chest sending me back. The both of us were about to go at one another again when suddenly I am held back and Kanda is held back by Lavi.

"That is enough you two!" I hear my master say and I can't help but struggle against him.

"You say I don't trust you Moyashi..." Kanda spats and find myself gritting my teeth and glarring at him temporarily pausing in fighting against my master. Kanda's head was down cast his hair shadowing his face. His fists were clenching more his arms shacking. 

"...I think it's you who doesn't trust me Allen." He spats finally looking up at me his eyes full of hate and I find myself going limp.

"Kanda..." Lavi warns but says nothing more.

"I'm done Allen! I can't take it anymore! You're not improving, you're only getting worst and keep pushing us all away! So fine be alone I don't care." He yells his eyes were shut and I feel my eyes widen. Cross finally releases me.

"KANDA!" Lavi finally yells and I see him twitch before looking at me. I don't understand what his expression reads at first as he stares at me and I realize that I have to be in shock. Soon his eyes widen in realization of what he just said. All I do at that moment is run grabbing my jacket. I don't look back even after hearing Lenalee scream my name followed by my masters yell for me to come back. I choke back a sob after hearing Kanda scream out in agony followed by a crash. I knew he destroyed something. I didn't care, I needed to get away, I needed to make myself vanish. I knew no one would come after me, they still believed I didn't have any way in harming myself. They didn't realize I had gone out this morning to buy that very thing. I reach my room slamming the door behind me hurriedly pulling the package of razors out before throwing the jacket onto the bed and immediately peeled my black long sleeved shirt off as I headed into the bathroom also slamming that door shut behind me. All that ran through my mind was that I had just lost Kanda. He left me and didn't want me anymore. I already knew that life without Kanda wasn't a life worth living in. My vision was blured from the tears that fell, but I knew what I was doing even if it was blindly. This time unlike so many other times I paused the moment I pressed the razor to my arm i hopes someone would come and stop me, but they never did and I cried more. So this time instead of width wise across my wrist I had the blade at the juncturs of where my elbo start and pressed the blade into my skin slicing down the lentgh of my arm before I collapsed onto my side watching as the blood quickly pooled around me. Tears still fell from my eyes. I felt the warm sticky substance on the cheek of my face and forming into my white hair. My vision was slowly beginning to become blurry.

"I'm sorry...Kanda...forgive me." I choke out and I pray that Lenalee for one is not the one who finds me. I smile sadly when I hear the door to my bedroom open and I knew I was soon going to be found. Everything was beginning to become dark and I wandered if this was truly going to be the end for me. I finally hear the door to my bathroom open slowly with a creak. I know the person is frozen in shock with how long it is silent.

"ALLEN!" I'm thankful that it's not Lenalee, but I still feel bad that it had to be Lavi who found me. He is at my side in an instant in my pool of blood and I feel something pressed against the wound and I can vaguely make it out as his shirt. I soon hear someone run in and I hear Lenalee's scream. My heart sinks at knowing she has to see this.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE GET ME AS MANY TOWELS AS YOU CAN SO I CAN APPLY PRESSURE THEN GO GET HELP!" He yells at her before beginning to mumble curses. Lenalee had runn off and quickly returned handing Lavi the towels before running off. Lavi wrapped the towels around my arm as tightly as he could to try and stop the bleeding as much as he could.

"You fucking idiot! You should have known Kanda didn't mean it! WHY DAMN IT?!" He yelled never leaving my side as we waited. Soon something was being tied around my arms to keep the towels in place before I was lifted off of the ground.

"Lavi go get cleaned up and meet Komui and I in the infirmary as quickly as you can, Kanda I hate to ask this but can you clean this room I'll send Asarina someone to help you. Lenalee go get Miranda and Jerry we're going to need them two." I hear cross barking out orders as he runs out with me.

"So....cold." I say my voice barely above a whisper, I could barely make out my masters face as everything was so fuzzy.

"Hold on Allen! Don't you dare pass out, we're going to fix this okay? DOn't you give up on me, I won't loose you!" He says to me in a panic and I feel myself smiling sadly.  
"How? I'm already lost." I ask and I barely recognize my own voice with how I was sounding.

"Remember what Mana said! Keep walking don't stop! If you let go now you'll break that promise!" He shouts at me, I don't answer and only smile. I hear him shout my name as I finally let my world go black. Everything was black even in the dream world. I didn't see anything nor did I hear anything. I slowly began to wander if I was dead and this was just limbo and I was trapped. It felt like eternity that I was trapped and soon I began to hear the steady beeping sound. It was a slow sound. To some people it would annoy them but I found my self very relaxed with it.

"You have to pull through Allen. You have to pull through so I can apologize, so I can fix the promise I told you. I need you , you're my Moyashi. Please...I beg you." I hear Kanda's voice and I force my heavy eye lids open. Everything was so bright and it made everything blurry. I lie there blinking repeatedly as my vision slowly focused and I was able to look around. I was in my own infirmary room. These were used for those in serious condition. It's where the immediatly operate on the person and don't try to move them. They keep them in the same room they're brought into. I look onto my stomach where my arm was. It was heavily bandaged, all I could think was that I wasn't dead. Looking about the room I see everyone in chairs sleeping. Even Asarina and Narul were there, I knew she'd wake soon probably to go check up on Kalira, unless the nurse had taken over for a bit everyone waiting for me to wake up. That wouldn't surprise me. FInally looking to the side I see Kanda there his face burried into the bed at my side. His hair was still down and he still wore the clothes from when we fought. It made me wander how long I had been out. I felt my heart break as I heard him sobbing, that was something he never did and I hated seeing it. Lifting my injured arm up I reached over and gently brushed my shacky fingers through his hair. Before pulling back as he lifted his head up his eyes wide in shock.

"Mo...ya...shi?" He asks and I only smile hesitantly placing my hand onto his cheek using my thumb to wipe the tears that fell.

"I'm so sorry Kanda." I whisper, I didn't want to wake anyone else. I didn't want to be bombarded with questions quite yet. Kanda stands up and leans forward his forehead resting against my own as he reaches up with his own hands and cups my cheek.

"DOn't apologize Allen. This is my fault, I drove you to this and I am so sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you all the time. I'm sorry for what I said in the dojo! I didn't mean it. I need you in my life so much right now. Without you I have nothing to live for. Life isn't worth living without you in it." He said and I find myself choking on a sob.

"Funny...the moment I decided I was going to die...that was the very reason I decided to. My life isn't worth living without you in it Kanda. I need you to." I cry feeling the tears running down my face. 

"You make me so happy." I say wrapping my arms around him and I see Asarina leaving the room looking back at me with a small smile before slipping out. I knew she would be back to lecture me after checking up on Kalira.

"Allen?" Kanda pulls away and I look up to see Lenalee standing by the bed now her eyes wide and tears falling from them.

"Lenalee please don't cry...I'm okay now." I say and she is soon hugging me letting out sobs.

"You are SO fucking lucky that Miranda, Lavi and Jerry have your blood type! They helped us save you, you fucking idiot! Why did you do it? WHY!" She cried and I only hugged her.  
"My wall came crashing down finally, but its okay now. I'm sorry for what you had to see, I'mm sorry for worrying you. I hope you can forgive me." I say looking up to see a narrowed look coming from my master. I looked away and I knew I was soon going to be left alone with him. Maybe I should have chose Komui as the one to talk to.

"Of course I'm going to forgive you! You woke up, if you didn't...then I never would have." She says standing back up with a sad smile before walking out. I coudln't blame her she needed her space.

"Alright everyone out...that includes you to Kanda." Cross finally says and I watch as he flinches at the thought of having to leave my side.

"It's alright Kanda I'm okay. You can come right back, kay?" I say and he sighs before shouting Cross a warning glare then left with everyone else who was also quite hesitant to leave. Once the door was clicked shut I sat myself up in the bed surprised that I was able to, I looked into my lap.

"I'm sorry master, I know you're probably the only one who won't forgive me." I say and I soon find my eyes widening as I felt arms encircle around me.

"Baka minarai! Do you know how scared I was. You died for three minutes. If it weren't for Kanda getting past and hitting you in the chest you would be dead right now! I know the way I raised you wasn't ideal, but you are very precious to me." He says and I feel tears falling from my eyes again.

"I'm sorry master...I'm so sorry!" I cry out and I cling onto him feeling like if I didn't my world would crash down. My wall had already did but I didn't need my wall to.

"Shh it's okay...Kanda, me and everyone else will always be here to protect you. Now get better so Kanda can show you how much he truly loves you." He explains before pulling away and walking out. I could only smile and that smile never leaves my face even when Kanda hurries back in and hugs onto me...after climbing into the bed with me forcing me to lie down next to him. I curl into his arms forcing myself to be as close to him as possible.

"I love you so much my baka moyashi." He says resting his head on top of mine.

"I love you to my Bakanda." I smile my eyes slipping close to fall asleep. I'm not visited by Tyki nor Road and I knew for sure that I hadn't take the pills but that was okay. My wall was down and I didn't feel like I needed to re-build it. The urge to cut may never go away and my mask will never be put up, but I knew now I will be able to at last heal. But I still had a forebodding feeling that something bad was going to occur very soon


	19. Chapter 19

C

hapter 19 its wonderful wonderful here

**Komui's pov:**

It has been two days since Allen, and Asarina had returned to the order with everyone else. Two days since Allens’ suicide attempt. The mission was a success. Kalira was a not a dragon like we all thought but Asarina's biological daughter. Allen was doing better with talking to everyone and that included Kanda as well. Despite the damages Asarina had caused, Allen chosen to talk to talk to her about things. That is was when it hit me. Was that passionate afternoon due to the turmoil deep inside her? I have been keeping my distance from her whenever I did see her. She looked happy and Kalira never left her side. I guess she was afraid of someone taking her again. A mother will go to any length to protect her child. I do know Lenalee and Lavi will be made at me; I blew up all the condoms I found in his room and taped them to his walls. I could only laugh at the thought of their faces but now I had to get work. It is wonderful here for the moment. Every time we get peace, it does not last. Something always happen.

My thoughts were broken as Cross came in.

"General, what brings you here?” I ask fixing my glasses and looking at him. My desk was covered in papers once again like always.

"I'm a littled worried. As you know Asarina is the Night Tracker and Im sure you know about the inccident with Kanda." Cross replys sitting on the couch.

"Yes I know both pieces of information. Im not worried. Kanda is a capable person and Asarina was trained to kill. Besides Kanda knows if he hurts her. We will have to figure out who will take of Kalira." I say grabbing my cup of coffee.

"I also want to know what happened between you and Asarina?" Was his next question.

"She came to talk and got emotional. Then she left." I say to Cross. Not knowing what he would do if i told him we had sex on the couch he was sitting on.

"She may seem strong but when she feels that her world is falling part, she becomes confused and emotional. Plus she tends to do random things that would drive any man wild" Cross states and heads toward the door. “One final word before I leave, Kalira is _my_ daughter.” With that he is gone.

How could this happen and why to did it have to be this way. The one I loved had sex with Cross and gave birth to his child. Now I’m in deep shit. I had sex with Cross’s woman and if he finds out. Will I be dead? If I die at least I had a wonderful time with my heart’s desire.

**Asarina POV:**

Two days have passed and my world has been restored. I have my beautiful daughter back and she is thankfully unharmed. It was a painful month and long one at that. Narul was staying out of trouble for the most part and my entire focus was on Kalira. After her exam in the medical wing, I have not let her out of my sight. Everywhere I went, she went and everyone knew that. Allen had started coming to talk to me a lot more than anyone else. It did not bother me but it did make me realize I could be myself around everyone. The night tracker, my other self and my profession; it was who I was and who I will be.

I don’t know why my thoughts always went to that day whenever I was alone and Kalira sleeping. Did he really mean what he said? I could tell he was not happy with me at all. I don’t know why I even care about this. It not like it will last at all, but in any case it would have been nice. Suddenly there was knocking at my door.

“Who is it?” I ask and pick up Kalira. The door opens and I see General Cross standing there looking at me. I always found it funny how he looks at me when I’m holding my little girl. “What can I do for you General?”

“Well it is dinner time. Care to join the rest of us?” He asks me with a smile. I know he only wants to be next to Kalira. He loves her dearly.

“Of course, I was actually on my way there. Care to escort me?” I ask him playfully and laugh as I extend my arm to him.

“Of course, I will escort you.” He says taking my arm and walking me down to cafeteria. Cross is the one person that Narul can trust with me. I guess it is the age thing or maybe the fact that he took more of an interest in Kalira than me. In any case, I was happy to be back, but in a way I was sad.

“So, what did that idiot chief do to make you upset?” Cross asks on the way down and I can tell that he is worried about me. “Think before you say it.”

“It was just something about Narul and I got emotional.” I say and I knew I had lied to him but it was my business and not his.

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Cross says and then we fall silent as we head to our destination.

Along the way we find Narul and as always he is hungry. When we arrive, the place is very busy and the line is not that long. I can only feel sorry of the chef for the hungry beast ordered 50 steaks, four whole hams, and a big soup pot filled with cherry ice cream. The chef only laughs and makes everything for him. I just order chicken and pork stir fry with rice and my tea. Cross orders chicken and shrimp curry and some type of French red wine. Cross carries my tray for me because I have Kalira in my arms. We sit down next to each other at a table with Kanda, Allen, Lenalee, Lavi and Komui.

“Why so glum, chief?” Kanda asks and then I notice Komui’s face as well.

“It’s nothing.” He says and puts a piece of sausage in his mouth.

“Bullshit.” Allen calls out and now Lenalee is giving her brother the death stare.

“Just say it.” Lenalee yells, “Tell me now or I will kiss Lavi in front of you.”

“Kalira is the love child of Cross and Asarina.” He says and looks sadly at Cross.

It was then the silence was broken by the sound of Narul laughing hysterically. We all see him fall off the table and on to the floor still laughing. Everyone now is looking at Cross and myself. “Cross is not the father.” I say angrily. I get up and leave in a foul mood.

Eventually Narul fly out and lands on my shoulder, still laughing. Why would Cross do that? I can only giggle at Komui’s face, but the memory of her father makes me sad. In a sense it was wonderful here at the Black Order but I could not wait to leave and yet I did not want to.

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20- Hex me

I was sitting in my office drinking coffee and wondering where the letter I had received from command central had gone to. I was not happy with what the letter had said, and I did not want to enforce it at all. Somehow word head reached my superiors that Asarina was the assassin know as Night Tracker, to that extent my orders were to keep her in the European branch of the black order until further notice. That was just going to be easy for the moment. Asarina was comfortable here and for the time she feels it is a safe place for her daughter. That was another matter in that blasted letter; they also feel that she might be working secretly for the enemy; I found that part rather a bunch of bullshit. I already had enough on my plate with dealing with my superiors, being chief of the European branch, dealing with a fire breathing monster, and my feelings toward the woman I loved.

“Komui,” a voice said as my office door opened and I look up to find General Cross standing there “Am I bothering you?” he finished saying as he closed the door and walked over to my desk.

“Not at all, what’s on your mind general?” My full attention is now on whatever he wants to say, after yesterday with his little joke, I knew I had to be prepared for anything.

“You really should start locking your office door. Narul found a letter and took it to me. He did not understand some words, so I took it and read it to myself.” Cross said pulling out the letter, “He got mad when I told him that snooping around offices was not nice and that I was giving this back to you.” He held out his hand I took the letter.

“Thank you, General Cross.” I say knowing full well I should have known that pesky dragon had taken it. “I think I’ll go pack now.” I say getting up and walking to the door.

“That’s right; you have that meeting and what not in Italy.” He says smiling, “Don’t worry I think this is what you need. Time to get your head straight and relax a little bit and maybe being away from Asarina would do you some good.”

“I’m giving her space and time to adjust. She has a child here now who can’t walk or talk.” I say calmly but inside I know he is right, I do need time away from the order. Maybe she will finally be able to tell that time we had meant nothing to her but to me there would always be something even if I had to hide away forever.

“She is a very strong woman and capable of handling herself or anything thrown at her, but sometimes I worry about her. Some of the decisions she makes are gambles, and I wonder what does she hide behind that smile of hers but then again piss her off and you might regret it.” Cross said getting up and leaving out the door and then only to see Lavi entered, could my day get any worse.

“So, I have a question?” Lavi said walking up to my desk, “Who did you fuck in your office?”

“Nothing like that happened, Lavi.” I say as calmly as I could. I did not want anyone, especially Lavi, finding out I had sex with Asarina in my office.

“Was Janet, Sophie, Nicki, Alexis, or was it Dana? Just tell me please.” Lavi said eagerly but I knew that he would not give up on the subject until he found who I had sex with. “Was it Jen, or was it Casandra?”

“Lavi, does my sister know everyone you have slept with?” I say giving him the death stare, “I have a list of women who claim to have slept with you. So, leave my office now, drop the subject, and Lenalee won’t see the list.

In a flash Lavi was out of my office, and I was happy that he was gone. I close my eyes and take a deep breath stunned that he believes my bluff. I left my office, and went to pack for my trip. I was sure things were going to be nice on the trip but I did not want to be at this meeting at all. Once I go t to my room, I looked around and found my suitcase and began to decide what I should pack. I start by packing my suitcase with my spare uniform, some pajamas, and the major necessities: one thing being my instant coffee, my picture of Lenalee and then I find myself putting the picture of Asarina in there as well. I close the suitcase and hear a voice. “Where are you going?” I turn around to see Asarina standing in my door way, holding Kalira in her arms.

“I have an important meeting in Italy to attend, although I would rather not go.” I tell her and notice that she is smiling. “Is there something you needed?” I ask, and I’m hopeful that the answer is me.

“I don’t need anything right now but I did want talk about what Cross said.” She said and her tone of voice changed and her eyes were on her little angel. “Her dad died before she was born. He was killed in an akuma attack.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. Did he even know that you were carrying a child?” I asked moving toward the door and looked at how much Kalira looked like her mother

“No, by the time I found out I was with child, he had already been killed.” She looks almost as if she might cry, but I put my hand on her shoulder. “There is one more thing I wanted to talk about. I’m sorry that Narul is a pain to you and that he gets on everyone’s nerves but this is the first place that he does not have to hide all the time.”

“He is okay; we all have to adjust to him. He is very intelligent and different.” I say trying to forget that he had burned my ass about four times now, and tried to eat me once. “He is also fun to have around. Did you know he is the first person who Kanda has not threatened?”

“That is funny to think about.” It was we both noticed Kalira was moving around in the blanket and started to cry. “Well, I need to get back to my room and feed her. I’ll see you when you get back” she says and kisses my cheek before she leaves. I could only smile as I closed the door, maybe there is hope for the two of us to be together and Cross apparently likes to joke about things. Only time will tell at this point but I would have to put up with Narul if I wanted to be with her. Maybe someday the dragon and I would come to terms but right now it was war with him. I finished packing and headed to my destination.


	21. Chapter 21

**Well here we go a little comedy from the seriousness! This should be fun! Enjoy.**

**Chapter 21- told her**

It had been a few days since Komui had left for his trip to Italy, and he was now due back any moment, I was not happy about this. Then again I had learned a lot over the past few days myself. I was having fun flying and I always had a knack for getting into trouble, finding secrets, causing trouble and getting out of trouble. I loved being a dragon and I don’t think I would ever want to be a human child. In any case, I was thinking about what happened over these past four days and how I managed to get myself in a huge mess of trouble.

If my memory is correct as I think to myself. The day that I found Kanda’s and Allen’s secrets were was on Tuesday because today is Friday and that dumb ass Komui left on Monday. I was flying high in sun filled sky and doing what I loved to do best, destroy clouds. That was when I looked around and thought it was my best samurai buddy, Kanda, slip quietly into the forest. What is he doing in the forest and without Allen? I asked myself, and so I nosed dived down ward into the forest. Upon entering the forest, I landed on a tree branch and started to sniff the air. If it was Kanda I saw then I should be able to follow his scent and find him. I waited for the wind to blow, then a leaf blew passed me and I found the familiar sent of Kanda. I knew he was now north of me, then I leaped off the branch and followed the trail.

As I got close and saw him. “Kanda, why are you out here.” I ask as I land on the log, “and why are you naked?” By that time Kanda was just staring at me with his hands covering his private part. I just sat there waiting for his response.

“I’m training in the nude to be closer with nature. It’s a meditation thing I find relaxing.” Was his response with a nervous but calming tone of voice. “Why don’t you go back to the order and please don’t tell anyone about this. You are my little buddy and later we can go into town for some chocolate ice cream.”

“With Allen?” I ask and jump around on the log. “Allen has to come with us.”

“Okay, my little buddy. We will drag Allen with us and if he does not want to come...” He starts to say and then looks at me.

“I throw a tantrum and cry. Then he will agree to go.” I say as we both laugh and I start to take to the sky. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that you are here.” Then I disappear and head back for home. Along the way I destroy a few small clouds and then do loops in a giant one. My life was full of fun. Then I see the tall tower, my new temporary home and place of fun. I notice that Allen’s window is open and I fly into his room. I notice him smile as I land on his bed.

“What brings you here, Narul? You staying out of trouble?” he asks and pets the top of my head. I notice he has a bunch of books out. I start to walk around the strange books.

“I’m okay, just noticed an open window and came in.” I reply still wondering what the books were. “What are these books doing out Allen?” I look up and ask him.

“Those are not books. They are photo albums, to hold pictures.” He tells me laughing. “Go ahead and look, pictures are another means to tell your life story.”

I decide to open one of them, and I choose the one with the bright blue cover. “Why is Kanda naked in this picture?” I scream and quickly close the scary picture story book.

“It’s a secret, so you can’t tell. In the mornings, Kanda sometimes goes out in the woods and trains naked. I like to take pictures while he does this, and he has no clue I do it” Allen says while he is blushing.

“Well Kanda is out there right now in the forest naked. I found him and he told me not to tell anyone but since you know his secret. I don’t see any harm to tell you.” I say and in the moment Allen gets his shoes on and grabs his camera.

“Thanks.” He says and then I’m left alone. So I decide to leave and go take a nap, knowing full well that I have two secrets now, one of Kanda and one of Allen. After I took my nap I really did nothing but Wednesday was the day I found some exciting dirt on Lavi.

It was almost Lunch time on Wednesday, I was on my way there to order ten plates of steaks with each plate have twenty steaks on it, six hundred slices of bacon and three hundred dangos. I pass Lavi’s room and I decided to bug him, for I wanted to play ball after I ate lunch. I sneak into his room and notice that he is not anywhere but the bathroom light is on and the door is cracked a bit, I can hear funny and strange noises coming from that direction, I was now curious. I sneak into the bathroom only to see Lavi with his pants down and caressing his private part. I then fly up to sit on his shoulder only to see his laptop screen with a naked girl and boy, I notice that the boy was laying down and the girl was on top, moving up and down on his private part, His private part entered hers. I did not comprehend what was going on all. “Lavi what are you watching?” I finally ask and he looks at me.

“This is porn my winged friend.” He says smiling and then it vanishes in a split second and he then closes the screen and pulls up his pants. “Okay, we need to talk.”

“I think porn is gross.” I say smiling.

“Yes, and you should not mention it to anyone, especially to Lenalee.” He says as we leave his room. “She would kill me if she found out.”

“Okay, so I won’t tell her if you play ball with me after lunch every day for a month.” I say as I fly off his shoulder.”

“You have a deal my buddy.” Lavi say smiling and giving me a thumb up.

We then arrive at the cafeteria and order our food. By the time I finish, I felt ready for a nap and tell Lavi we will start tomorrow with playing ball cause of the bet you lost. I go to my mom’s room and curl up with my little sister who is also sleeping on the bed with mommy. The rest of the day was unfair, due to the huge rain cloud that came, but the idea of porn came back to my head. I wondered why anyone would want to watch something like that, but I just pushed it out of my mind and thought about tearing apart a certain office.

Thursday was even better for I went hunting that day. I woke up and went to hunt for squirrels in the forest, I pass Kanda who was naked with nature and saw Allen hiding in a bush with his camera. I only caught ten fat squirrels and was carrying them by the tails, on my way home. I decided to look at Lenalee’s window to see if it was open, and it was. My favorite place to eat my catch was her floor, and I do it because it grosses her out for some reason. Sure enough her window is open, and I dive into her room. I look around, she is nowhere in sight, but I can hear in the bathroom, by the sounds of it she was looking for something. I decide to start eating the squirrels before she came out. I had only eating three when she came out and looked at me with evil eyes.

“Must you always eat those in my room?” She asks with a fake smile and I can’t help but smile back her, this of course makes her laugh.

“Hey, do you know where my ball is?” I ask while she goes and pulls out a bottle of perfume from a drawer. “Lavi has to play ball with me, starting today for one month.” I could only smirk at how I got him to agree to that.

“Why for one month? I always tell him and everyone in the order to not bet with you” She said shaking her head. “What was the bet?”

“To not mess Komui’s office for two days, which was Monday and Tuesday, and I won.” I saying knowing full well I was lying to her.

“Well, I’m about to get a shower. You can look for it and if you don’t find it. I guess we will have to replace it.” She says with that smile of her and then disappears in the bathroom.

While she was in the shower, I decided that the squirrels can wait and began my search for a red ball. First I looked in her clothes hamper and found nothing but clothes with Lavi’s smell on them. I love the fact that they care about each other so much. Next place I look is in her vanity where she pulled the perfume from. Instead of a ball, I find a book that read stay out. Smirking and looking around I open to a random page. It was dated before my arrival in the order WAY before my arrival maybe a few years ago, as I read it mentions Allen and her drinking. Those two were really best friends and they never really stayed mad at each other. As I read more, it talked about how Allen and her had drunk sex. Sex, what is this sex thing? I push it out of my mind and continued reading on how the next morning Allen told her he was gay and to never speak of this again, because he would die if his crush Kanda found out. I guess this was also before the two of them got together. I close the book and go to the closest to find my ball. I hear the door open and Lenalee comes out in a pink dress.

“Narul, did you find it?” she says and begins to help me look for the ball.

“Why are you wearing the dress?” I ask as we search for the ball.

“Lavi is taking me out for lunch in the city today. Since my brother is out town, we don’t have to worry about him sending any robots out after us.” She says smiling and then she pulls something out from behind a box. “Found your ball.” I take it from her and then go over to my squirrels.

“Be sure to tell Lavi that he better play ball or I will burn him.” I tell as I gather up my squirrels by their tails, she is still smiling. “Bye, have fun on your date.” I say and then put the ball in my mouth and leave to the sky. That day ended with Lavi, Lenalee and I playing ball. It was the best day ever for little did I know what would happen tomorrow or today since it is Friday now.

Friday morning was not fun, I slept in and missed breakfast. That was okay for I wanted to go hunt today any way. I ended up catching five squirrels, three doves, and four deer, trust me it was all good and delicious. Then I flew back to find someone to play ball with but found no luck cause everyone left me; Cross took Miranda on a date, Allen and Kanda went hiking, and Lenalee and Lavi were doing something called skinny dipping in the lake.

I was flying around trying to find something to do when I noticed Reever enter Komui’s office with a stack of paper work. When he returned the stack of papers were no longer with him and he forgot to close the door all the way. I just had to get back at them for leaving me, so into the office I flew and took the stack of papers. My next step was to hide and I did, in a utility closet. Once I got settled in, and down, I began to eat the stack of papers. I ate about ten before I took a nap.

I don’t know how I long I slept but once awake, I started back up again. I only know how to count up to thirty and as I ate I heard voices all the time. I never really paid attention but once I heard Lenalee’s voice I decided to listen.

“Lavi, I can’t believe that paper work has disappeared and no one can find.” Her voice was sad. “It was the information about the meeting my brother is at.”

“Well, it could not have gotten up and flown away.” A voice said jokingly, but that is exactly what happened and was nodding with him from behind the door. That is when the door opened and a large hand grabbed me. I was being held by my tail and chewing paper, I was giving General Cross the angry eyes of death and I swallow the paper in my mouth. “So, I was right about you getting involved in this.”

“So what, you all left me alone.” I say and now I am trying to figure a way out of this mess.

“This is the missing paper work.” Lavi says looking at what was left of it. “Apparently he ate sixty five pages, and that’s more than half the stack.”

“Put me down.” I scream as loud as I can. That only brings Allen and Kanda over to see what the matter was. While Lavi explained what was going on to them I came up with my escape.

“Narul, you are in very big trouble.” Cross says and his eyes tell me that if I did not get away, I was going to my mother.

“Lenalee got drunk one night with Allen and had sex with him because I read it in her diary and not to mention Cross might have a child with some girl in India.” I scream as loud as I could.

The next thing I know is everyone starts yelling at Lenalee and cross, which is what I was hoping for. While they yelled I was swinging back and forth, once I reached a good distance I swing hard and bite Cross’s hand which causes him to let go of my tail. I then take off down the hall and notice that they all are chasing me, I see dark spot in the ceiling and shot up ward. They still chase the now empty hall and with that I turn around and go back to my room. Once inside I lock the door and sigh. “Narul, you better not have gotten into trouble.” I hear my mom yell from inside that bathroom. I notice that Kalira is not in her crib which means mom is giving her a bath.

“Where did he go?” I hear Kanda say down the hall from where I was hiding.

“Maybe, he is already with Asarina.” I can tell Cross is angry by the tone he uses.

“Mom, if anyone comes looking for me, I did not do anything wrong.” I say and then dart out the window. I fly to the tippy top of the flag pole on the tower. I know I’m safe for now but then I hear my mom scream for me and I know I’m in trouble.

Looking back on everything it makes sense as to why I’m now locked in a metal cage in my room, and very bored at that. Well it is almost three and I’m hungry. Well I could always try to melt the bars, and if start now I might be out by dinner.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22- I Dreamt

We were all sitting at dinner and slowly things were somewhat back to normal. I sat next to Kanda with my head on his shoulder after Narul and my eating contest. I made it look like I was still matching up with the young fireball. In reality though whenever someone looked I’d take a bite but wouldn’t eat if they weren’t looking, so by the end of dinner I had only eaten a fourth of what a normal person would eat. I just haven’t been in an eating mood as of late, I’d only eat enough for satisfaction in others eyes but it actually wasn’t even close to what I needed to survive. Kanda had his arm around my waist and snuggled my nose into his neck making a purring noise which sent a shudder through him and he gave my waist a warning squeeze before chuckling. I chuckled back, in the back of my mind I was happy that I decided on wearing my large hooded jacket so that my mother hen of a boyfriend wouldn’t be able to tell I had lost weight.

“So are you guys ready for the mission tomorrow?” Lenalee asked, reminding Kanda, Cross and I of the innocence retrieval mission tomorrow. I could only groan as I swung my legs across Kanda’s trying to get as close to him as possible. This resulted in some of everyone laughing.

“Physically we are ready but by the looks of it only one person is not mentally ready for it.” Cross smirked and I found myself chunking Kanda’s empty tea glass at my masters head who easily dodged it, the cup connecting with Komui’s face who had been standing up to leave with Reever. This resulted in everyone busting out in laughter as well. I watch Asarina as she had giggled a bit herself eating her own food while holding Kalira in her free arm.

“I take it that’s the que that Allen is grouchy and needs his sleep.” Kanda said trying to hide the laughter in his voice as he stood up easily hoisting me up in his arms and I only growled.

“I am NOT grouchy Kanda.” I said and he only rolled his eyes before walking off and I laid my head onto his shoulder. I felt Kanda rubbing circles with his thumb on my shoulder as he walked slowly.

“Are you eating okay Allen? You seem lighter.” He asked and I kept my eyes closed so I could hide the panic.

“Yea, remember I picked up sparring again with you. So of course I’m going to be loosing weight even with all the food I eat…..Wait is this your way of saying that I used to be fat?!” I asked and he began to laugh again turning his head and kissing my forehead.

“Baka Moyashi, that’s not it at all. I worry about you I just like reassuring myself that you’re okay.” He said softly before lowering his lips onto mine. He had stopped walking, I reached my arms up and wrapped them around his neck as I kissed him back. We soon part and he is just resting his forehead on mine. I hated hiding things from him but I still didn’t know how to go to him for help, I didn’t know how to go to anyone for help. I knew this was one of the reasons why Kanda worries. Sliding one of my arms done I cup his cheek with my hand leaving light kisses on his lips trying to reassure him that I was okay, even though I knew myself that I wasn’t okay. Soon he lifts his head and finishes the way towards the room setting me down onto my feet. I stood looking around the hallway noticing how empty it was before following Kanda into the room my mind not all completely there.

The moment I had shut and locked the door behind me I find myself suddenly pinned against the door lips crushed against my own as fingers run up under my shirt leaving feather like touches up my skin making my skin crawl from the pleasure. I let out a moan when his fingers brush over the hardening bud of my nipple. I lift my arms up on of my hands taking a hold of his hair tie pulling it loose before tangling my fingers into his hair as his hands moved back down my stomach before sliding around my waist to my back slipping into my pants. I let out a gasp when Kanda squeezes each of my ass cheeks lifting me up keeping me pressed against the door. I wrap my legs around his waist and pressed myself against him as much as possible. More moans escape my mouth when he begins to kiss down my neck pulling me off from the door and walked to the bed flopping us both onto it. His mouth never missed a beat.

“K-Kanda!” I moan out running my hands down the front of his navy blue muscle shirt feeling the indentions of his muscles wanting nothing but to feel his bare skin under my fingertips. I feel my pants and boxers quickly removed followed by my shirt. I don’t get to enjoy much as Kanda quickly discards of his own shirt and I give him a pout.

“We’re sure in a hurry.” I say feeling the smirk in my voice as I stare into his hungry filled eyes.

“Who says this is going to be quick. Allen we haven’t been allowed to do anything since a certain something happened.” He said quietly running his fingers softly over my elongated scar giving me apologetic look with his sad eyes. Reaching up I lift my body from the bed. My fingers danced over the skin of his cheek pushing into his hair as I connected my lips softly to his own. Kanda kissed me back his hands traveling down my chest as my free hand began fussing with his belt and pant buttons.

“Well aren’t we eager Moyashi.” He whispers with a smile on her face as he pulled from the kiss and I only growl playfully him.

“I want you Kanda, you and only you right now in me.” I beg kissing down his neck. I whimper when I am pushed back onto my back on the bed watching him stand from the bed to remove his pants before he his atop of me again his lips upon my once more. I moan again when I feel his knees press against me in between my legs and I squirm under him. His body begins to move against mine our erections rubbing against one another both of us letting out moans of pleasure.

“Please Kanda…I need you…” I whimper as he began to kiss down my neck and down my chest moving over to one of my nipples nipping it lightly with his teeth before his tongue swirled around it. I gasp my hands taking a fistful of the sheets squirming a bit more. His hands ran over my stomach and waist his nails slightly grazing over my skin. I’m letting out heavy breaths as his mouth moves over to the other nipple and I gasp even more my body pressing against his begging for him to take me.

“A little more patience Moyashi.” He moans purposely his deep voice driving me insane as he kisses down my abdomen and stomach until his face is hovering over my erection. I let out a gasp and shudder when he breaths a hot breath over the skin before his head dips down and I feel his hot tongue lick up my entire length.

“KAN-da!” I breath out my hips slightly bucking begging him for more. His mouth soon wraps around me and I feel the vibration of his mouth as he purposely hums. I throw my head back letting out a loud scream like moan begging for more. I feel my toes curl and my body going stiff from Kanda holding me down as his bobs as he sucked on me hard his teeth gently rubbing against my sensitive skin his tongue licking across my tip.

“Oh god please Kanda!” I cry out as his movements slow down a fraction as he begins to pleasurably torture me. My eyes widen and I am unable to squirm my hips when I feel a finger of his at my entrance. I let out another moan my eye half lidded from pleasure when he slips the finger to inside of me. His finger slowly moves out of me before pushing back in making swirling motions before he begins moving his finger around. I start to wander why but then I let out anther cry when a strong sensation courses through me. I know this pleases Kanda and I feel him add a second finger into me moving them in and out of me in rhythm with his bobbing head, each time he would hit that certain spot and each time I would be sent through a crazed pleasured spasm.

“Kan-DA!” I scream out as I feel my release into him, my heart is pounding hard in my chest and I let out another cry when his own hard member pushes into me hitting against that spot. My eyes widen and I can’t help the scream that tore from my throat, it felt so good, it is something I’ve never felt before. He begins to move in and out of me each time hitting that spot. Leaning over his mouth captures mine and I eagerly kiss back wrapping my arms around his shoulders my legs wrapping around his own as his arms wrap around my waist as he pounded into me. I am lost in this ecstasy and I pull from the kiss burying my face into the crook of his neck whimpers and moans and cries of pleasure coming from my mouth as the two of us rocked together.

“Scream my name Allen, I want to hear you scream it.” He says lustfully into my ear making his thrusts harder as I feel his erection pulsing inside of me and I can’t help but tense up causing me to tense up around him.

“FUCK….Moyashi.” He hissed in my ear speeding up.

“YU~!” I scream out as he releases inside of me and he collapses onto me slowly pulling out of me before turning to his side pulling me into his chest. I can’t help as sleep takes over me. Now I see why Kanda had me take my pills before dinner, there would have been no way either of us would be able to move.

_I’m at first surprised to not find myself within Kanda’s dream as I walk around the area I notice is the library. I begin to wander whose dream this is and I can’t help but become curious when I hear sounds coming from a dark area. Following the noises I use the bookshelves to keep hidden as I peer around the corner and I paled. Bent over a library table is Lenalee with Lavi behind her and you can bet at the moment what the two of them were doing. It made me wander now whose dream did this belong to?! Lenalee? Of Lavi?! I immediately run from the scene closing my eyes jumping from the said dream feeling the something whip around me as I descend down into another dream._

_I know exactly whose dream I enter with the site of all the women about the room. I can’t help but sigh as I move forward and my eyes widen. In the center of the room sits Cross a bottle of wine in one hand another arm wrapped around some woman’s’ shoulders and I feel my eyes widen when I spot Lenalee behind him giving his shoulders a massage wearing a bunny suit. Oh I bet Komui would LOVE to send a Kom-Bot after this man if he knew about this. I ran from the room trying to get away even when I heard my Shishou say my name questioningly._

_After leaving my master’s dream, feeling rather strange about how he had Lenalee in that bunny outfit along with a lot of other naked women, I somehow ended up in an unfamiliar place. It was like when people would switch between their dreams. This was the feeling I feel a lot when I’ve jumped between others’ dreams. I begin to slowly spin around looking for any indication of who’s it was, I even called out just to be safe. When there was no reply I sighed and rested my hand onto the black water and I will it to change it watching as it formed into that field. Sighing I slowly calm down at least now things will be normal now back in my own mind. I never knew how wrong I was until it suddenly changed and I was blinking staring at the golden traditional Chinese room. I can only gulp this cannot be good. I slowly stand to my feet and slowly turn around to see Asarina standing there in a large red with gold designed kimono leaning against one of the pillars. I gulp again seeing that she wasn’t too happy about me being there, or possibly for other reasons._

“ _What…are you doing here?” She finally asked straightening up her stance arms crossed._

“ _This is_ _ **your**_ _so how should I know?” I say and I watch as she only smirks pushing her hands through her hair which reached down to her knees._

“ _Yea, you’re right. I wander why I’d dream you up though.” She said her words almost dancing around playfully as she walked closer to me. Everything in me screamed danger and I couldn’t help but wander why._

“ _Yea I wander why to.” I laugh nervously and suddenly it hits me, no literally! I am hit and not by a it but by a she, Asarina to be more exact. I am sent flying to the ground onto my back my hand shooting to my face sitting up I give her a shocked expression._

“ _THE HELL WAS THAT FOR DAMN IT?!” I yell at her and she only smirks suddenly a wooden kendo stick in her hands and my eyes only widen in fear of what she was going to do._

“ _Oh…I don’t maybe the fact that…You tried to kill yourself and almost succeeded!” She snaps hurriedly walking over and the top of my head is suddenly in pain from her smacking me atop the head. No it didn’t stop there either. She repeatedly hit me until the kendo stick was broken and it tossed to the side. I honestly couldn’t blame her for it._

“ _You’re an idiot you know that Allen?! You should hate me or at least be angry at me for that day, but no…You turned it around and pointed your anger at Kanda!” She screams at me looking up her eyes full of anger and sadness._

“ _Because once I knew what you were doing was to get your daughter back….I couldn’t blame you, I can’t hate you. Yea I was upset with everyone but…I can’t blame anyone. Even now I can’t blame Kanda anymore either. He was only trying to think up the best thing to not only help you but also keep me safe by putting me directly into danger.” I explain, I couldn’t say my face stung again from the slap because it did and I only sat there blinking._

“ _Baka…baka,,,baka…” She began to repeatedly say and I just sat there starring at her and I could tell tears were threatening to fall._

“ _You were afraid that if something went wrong I’d be taken and you wouldn’t have gotten me back in those four days you had?” I asked and she only nods._

“ _Why must you be so observant?” She asks and I only smile._

“ _Because I had to be since my observing skills were the only thing that kept people from seeing the scars.” I smile and she only shakes her head and soon I am suddenly pushed from her mind._

I sit up quickly holding my cheek which hurt like shit and soon I was laughing doubled over into the covers. My entire body ached but I couldn’t stop the laughter and soon I feel Kanda shift and sit up and probably was just staring at me.

“Sorry, sorry! I accidentally walked into Asarina’s dream.” I smile sitting up and I watch as his eyes widen and just stare.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU MOYASHI?!” He screams grabbing my shoulders.

“Oh, she only kicked my ass for my suicide attempt. And if you try to start any shit I will not talk to you for an entire month.” I said with a smile on my face and he only sighs before wrapping his arms around me and bringing me back down to lie on the bed. Yup, things were defiantly getting interesting.

 

 

**Short and sweet I know but I am busy cleaning and doing Laundry and I TRIED not to rush this but…EH well I hop everyone will like the next chapter because it will be having some Noah Family goodness ^_^.**


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three- A Devil That Knew Her

_ **Roads’ POV** _

I couldn’t help the giggles that kept erupting from my mouth as I watch Tyki glare deadly at Jasdevi who only but continued to tease him. It had only been a month since that day we almost managed to get our hands on precious little Allen. But, we failed never once seeing the plan that women Asarina had cooked up. So here we were sitting at the dinner table waiting for our Lord Millennium to arrive. I let out another giggle when Jasdevi once again made a remark about Tyki failing at getting his little pet.

“Oh come now Tyki we’ll have other chances.” I smile and I to earn a glare from him, I could only give him a playful smirk. I dare him to yell at me.

“Ho, ho what is all this commotion about?” Our Lord asked appearing into the room almost skipping as he took a seat at the head of the table.

“Oh nothing Tyki is still upset about not getting his pet.” I explain smiling.

“Still? But it’s been a month.” The Earl said in his sing song voice, Tyki only replied with a displeased noise.

“He’s upset because he was outwitted by a woman he stole a baby from.” Jasdevi laughed barely dodging a card aimed for each of their heads.

“Oh I miss that baby girl so much! She was just positively adorable!” I exclaimed happily bouncing in my chair clapping my hands together.

“I hope that bitch gets it when that child grows up. I hope she is put through hell! But I swear I get back at that Night Tracker!” Tyki growled leaning back in his chair.

“Night Tracker you say?” The Earl suddenly asks and I find my smile vanishing at the tone of voice he uses.

“Lord Millenie?” I ask also sitting back in my chair watching as Jasdevi laid their arms on the table to look to him.

“Yes that is her title I guess…Damn it what was that bitch’s name!” Tyki growled resting his fingertips against his forehead before snapping his fingers.

“Her name was Asarina!” Tyki said and both him and I jump back in our chairs when suddenly the table was in the air spinning before crashing down.

“That woman had a baby?! Not only that you fought her and lived?! Oh this is great news…great news indeed!” He began to laugh crazily.

“L…Lord…Mi…Mi….Millenie?!” I stutter too afraid of what he was planning, too afraid to know how he knew Asarina.

“Tyki, Road the both of you will be coming with me this instant. You two will be telling me everything.” The smile on his face sent fear coursing through me and I could tell from looking at Tyki that he feared the crazed man as well. I am intrigued though, what does he now have planned?

 

 

**This will by far be our shortest chapter in the entire story. This is just a foreshadowing filler chapter. I hope you enjoyed it ^_^.**


	24. Chapter 24

**Strawberry Gashes**

**Well this chapter and chapter 25 are the two main chapters Sharva and I have been DYING to get done! Well here it is!**

Chapter Twenty Four- Pale White Skin

"I still dont understand why I have to this." I say angrily as I pack for the trip that lies ahead, even though it was just a few hours away. "I just got Kalira back about a month ago and they expect me to leave?!"

"I know but I dont want to go either." Complained Narul as he helped me pack my tracking gear, "Do you want the venom blow gun?" I look up to see him holding it and smiling.

"Might as well." I say taking the blow gun from him and packing it away, "At least Lenalee and Lavi offered to take care of Kalira, I would rather bring her along but Tyki is out there, with his sick twisted mind."

"Lenalee told me that Miranda is also going to help." He said happily and picks up my tracker darts. "This is going to be fun."

"I wish it was just Cross and myself, I dont mind Allen going but why does Kanda have to come?" I say taking the darts and pkacing them in my pocket. "Do you know were my bottle of vex34 is?"

"Why do you want that?" He asks going to the closet and then quickly coming back with the bottle in his claws, "Do you think you will be killing someone?

"No, my emotions are out of whack. Im worried about being separated from Kalira and don’t want to panic." I reply as he places the bottle in my hand. Vex34, a drug that blocks emotions and widely used amongst assassins. "It is just incase." Then I place it in my pouch.

"Everything will be fine." He says, "I'm just sorry I can’t fly all of us there but I’m just so full from eating and I'm still sleepy."

I smile as I pick up my little fireball, "Maybe next time you should not have an eating contest with Allen." I tell him with a serious look. He only smiles, then crawls up and hides in my hair, while I grab my things. I look at my daughter, only to find her eyes opened and smiling. I pick her up and hold her close to me. "You behave yourself, Lenalee and Miranda will take care of you while I'm gone." Then someone knocked on the door. I was not prepared for who was on the other side.

"So, is she still asleep?" To my suprise it was Komui outside my door. I was still holding my precious daughter in my arms.

"Yes, my angel is awake." I say smiling. "Let me guess Lenalee is in Lavi's room?"

"Yes, my poor sister is in another mans room and I have to save her before she becomes a young mother!!!" His face is horrifying at the last thought but regains his composure quickly, "So, plan is to get Kalira to cry and stand outside his door. That way Lenalee can take of her and not Lavi's needs."

I couldn’t help but laugh at that last part but I hand over my baby girl to him. "Don't worry, I will be back very soon." I kiss her on the forehead and watch Komui carry her down the hall. "Well, are you ready fireball?" But they only noise I get is snoring; now to meet up with everyone at the bottom of this mountain, which the quickest way is by the elevator. I get down to the meeting place only to see General Cross there leaning on the carriage and no sign of Allen or Kanda. I only shrug and walk over to the man who got me involved in all this mayhem. He looks at me and my equipment that I was carring.

"Do you really need all that?" He asks me and lights a cigarette.

"I really have no idea what I would be doing, so yes I packed all of this?" I snap back, besides it was not alot of things, but then agian he knows I have things hidden in my short yukatta. "No one even told me I had to go with you three untill about two hours ago."

I guess my attitude toward him put the old man on edge for he was now thinking and I was unsure of what was going to happen next. "You know it has been a while since we had time to talk." He said and tossed his cigarette away. "I want the truth about what happened between Komui and you. I got his story and ment to ask you but with what Allen did, I got sidetracked. Besides that most of the time your taking care of my granddaughter." He starts to laugh at the last part.

"Nothing happened between us. Yes I did go to talk to him before you called that meeting." I say calmly and trying to get those images out of my mind.

"Can you explain why Narul told me komui's scent was all over your clothes?" He asks after a few minutes of silence.

"He did hug me cause I tried to tell him but I could not seem to get the words out." I wanted to run back to my daughter at that point, but I was expected to do this. "After that I left to get shower and started to cry again."

"You know sooner or later your father will find out you are here. Not to mention no one in your family knows about Kalira. Do not worry, I have not told him where you are. Not yet at least." He says and looks at his watch. "Those two are really late."

"If needed I will tell my father that you are Kalira's father." I say with a smirk on my face. "Don't worry, its not like my father will kill you, he would beat you to a pulp."

He only laughs and thats when we both turn at the sound of footsteps. We both turn to see Allen and Kanda walking down the stairs, holding hands and laughing. As they got closer I noticed Allen's face had brusies and I was not happy.

"Kanda, why the hell did you punch Allen?" I scream over and over in my head as we all climb into the carriage and headed away from the order, I tried to remain calm but I just want to throw something sharp at kanda. In stead of actually doing that, I had decided to check over my equipment and make sure everything was in working order. Allen had fallen asleep on Kanda's lap and General Cross was dozing off, not to mention Narul had woken up but only to fly on Cross's hat and was now back asleep. It was Kanda and myself that were awake. I paid no attention to him what so ever, and I guess it had been a little over an hour before he spoke.

"That's alot of equipment you are packing." He says nervously. The last time we spoke I ened up throwing Kalira's bottle at him.

"What about my equipment?" I ask him with glaring eyes. I could tell he just wanted to be polite but my mind was on the bruised face of Allen.

"Nothing, just dont understand why you need all that stuff? We are just going on a retrieval mission." He says.

"I did not even know I had to come with the three of you." I say and return to polishing my blow gun. "My skills are tracking, finding and eliminating the target."

"Those skills are usefull when dealing with akuma, but my problem is that you can not fight akuma. You are not an acommadator of innocence." He says in frustration and that is starting a fire in my head.

"So me coming gives you the right to punch Allen in the face." I snap back unable to to hold back any more. "Trust me, I would rather be back at the order with my daughter."

"I DID NOT PUNCH MY MOYASHI, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO HIT HIM!" He screams loud enough that Narul and Cross wake up.

"I never hit him and you should watch your tone with me." I threaten and throw a kunai at him. His face was shocked when it landed to the right of his face.

"Where in God's name did that come from?" I can tell he is very pissed off by his tone of voice.

"That is enough from both of you." Cross says raising his hand. "Kanda you never know what she has hidden in the yukata. She was trained to kill after all."

"Still does not give her a reason to throw things at people." He states with even more frustration, and I throw three more at him. I notice Narul was now up and searching for something in my bag.

"If I wanted to, I could always throw one of these in the center of your stupid head." I say trying to hold my anger, "Besides there is no way I could have hit Allen. I did not see him at all last night."

"Allen can dream walk. Its a side effect of the medicine that idiot Komui gave him." Kanda snaps back.

"Komui, is not an idiot and don't bring his name into this conversation to try and save your sorry ass." I gasp after I finish those words.

"Why do you defend Komui? He turned Allen into a sugar glider, and made you cry." Now Kanda has hit a nerve and I'm really mad now. I'm in a panic at this point. If only you knew the real reason why I left crying that day but no one ever will. Thats when something hits Kanda's arm.

"Bulls eye!!!" Yells Narul.

"What just happened?" Kanda says and pull a dart out of his arm and begins to yawn. "What is this?"

"It is a sleep dart, guaranteed to knock out guards for about 2-3 hours." I say and then Kanda falls asleep.

"About time someone got one of you to shut up." Cross says and begins to drift off to sleep again. Narul flies down and gets comfortable on my lap.

What was I going to do now. The fact that my mind was focused on trying to leave the order and my heart went toward Komui. I don't understand as to why I defened him, but the fact remains that I love him, even if he hates me. I look over to Kanda and notice that Allen is awake with a smirk. Could my day get any worse?

"You know, Kanda is going to be pissed when he wakes up."He said smiling and trying not to laugh.

"Hey, it was the ball of fire laying on my lap that did it not me." I replied pointing down at the sleepy little dragon. "Still, Kanda had it coming."

"True but the whole thing was just too funny." I believe that is what he said but he was laughing so hard now, that I could not really understand him.

"In any case, Im happy womanizer fell back to sleep." I saying pointing at Cross.

"You do know he’s not all bad." Allen says with a straight face, "He may be rough but he does know what he he is doing."

"True but then again seeing him covered in blood, barely breathing, and trying to walk, I would have to say he is reckless and completly stubborn at times but at least he has a sensitive side." I reply trying to forget the night I found him almost dead in the woods outside a cottage my father owned.

"I'm glad you found him and brought him back to health." He says calmly.

"If I never found him, my life would have been the same. My daughter would have never been taken by that monster, I would have meet anyone from the order, never would have made them keep a secret from you, you would never have left, you would have never been taken to a forest in an exchange gone wrong,and there would have been no suicide attempt." I stated angrily and yet I knew it was the ugly truth.

"True but then I never would have found someone who I can actually talk to. Its because of you that in a way Kanda and I are closer. Our fights make us stronger. Also if all of that never happened Cross would have died and eventually I would have ultimately killed myself because of it." Allen states. "As I told you before, you did what you had to do. I was mad when you tried to give me to Tyki but I trusted you. I knew you had a plan. I never once doubted you. At the time it was Kanda and everyone else I doubted."

"Still, I'm trained to kill and show no mercy." I tell him, "In my line of work, you only trust those in your profession, and family. Everyone else is not to be trusted."

"Still, you are stuck at the order right now. Tyki will try to get revenge on what you did. Kalira is in the safest place right now." Allen explains.

"Still, I don’t belong at the order. If anything, I will go back to China and stay with my dad." I state, but deep down I have a feeling that they won’t let me leave.

"I don't understand why you think leaving the order will do you any good. If you leave how will you protect Kalira from Tyki and the akuma?" He bluntly asks, "You have no anti akuma weapon, which means no innocence, and that means you can not kill a single Akuma."

I stared at him and thought about the many secrets that I have, but only three really came to my mind. One being my red gloves, second was my feelings for Komui, and the thrid was how much of a con artist I was. Needless to say the less they know about me the better. I noticed Allen was shaking. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a blanket and handed it to him. "It is a little chilly out since it is very early." I tell him and he gladly takes the blanket.

"Thanks, but seriously you did hit me." Allen replied while he wrapped himself in the blanket. "You truly are a force that should be taken seriously."

"Maybe you should learn how to control your dream walking." I say while trying to remain calm about this whole situation. "Besides that, I did mean every word I said last night."

"Well, I'm sorry I made you upset and for lying to you. I really hope we can put this mishap behind us." He says trying to get comfy on Kanda's lap.

"Let's just say its forgotten, and promise to stay out of my head." I tell him with a calm but deadly tone.

"I’ll stay out if I can, as you say I need to learn control. If I appear it’s cause I couldn’t help it. So, is there something going on with you and Komui?" He asks me and all I want to do is disappear. "I know I asked you this before, but I have a feeling that you two are closer than what everyone believes."

"I do believe that he is a nice guy, but I don't think we could ever be more than just friends." I say trying to hide my feelings.

"Well, I'm going to go back bed." He says yawning. Next thing I here is him snoring lightly. He looked so adorable laying on Kanda's lap. I find my self slowly drifiting back to sleep as well.

I wake up to the the sound of General Cross, "Wake up Asarina. How do we get Kanda up? We are almost at the city, you have to wake up."

"The city?" I ask him and I'm still half asleep. Then it hits me; mission in some city, Narul put Kanda to sleep, and now almost at destination. Could my life get any worse. "There is nothing I can do. He either wakes up by himself or we forcefully wake him." I say after getting my thoughts together.

"I hava an idea." Allen suddenly says with an evil grin on his face. "Just get out and let me handle this."

I can only look at Cross who just nods amd then we both leave the carriage. It did not take that long before we heard Kanda scream, "Why are you stopping?!" Then it went completly quiet and we then see both of coming out. "We will finish this when wecomplete this mission. What are you three staring at?!"

Cross just put his hands to forehead and mumbles something incoherent. Then Narul started laughing and I just sighed, "You ready to look around, fireball?"

"Yes, lets look at some jewels or some food in general." He says happily and run to the back of my neck to hide in my hair.

"Wait a minute." Kanda says sharply, "We have a mission to complete. The innocence fragment is why we came here."

"Look, I don't care about that right now. I just spent four hours in a carriage. I would like some piece and quiet." I snap back and I was not going to back down at all. "Besides it is only noon."

"Lunch time!!!!!" Screams a very hungry dragon.

"Come on Kanda, lets do some sightseeing." Allen says while giving his boyfriend playful looks.

"Well, I will see you all at the hotel. That way we can store our belongings and change" Cross says and starts to walk off into the city.

"General, are you really going to go along with Asarina and Allen?" The brute samurai asks in an all most breathless gasp. His answer was what shocked us.

"Well since I'm in a city, and dont know when I will be on another mission. Might as well get some adorable clothes for my lovely granddaughter, Kalira." He replied and for a second, I swear he was skipping into the city.

"Well, you two have fun. Narul and I are going to get lunch." I say and take my leave into the city. I swear if Cross comes to the hotel room with 30 outfits for my child, I'll kill him.

Narul and I spent the majority of the afternoon looking at jewels from outside the shops, we did eat some really good steaks, and I found myself a new combat outfit. After buying the outfit and a few new weapons, we headed to the hotel to change.

After putting on the outfit I noticed how amazing I looked. The black pants really made my legs show just how athletic I was. The matching low cut black top really made my breats and curves stand out. The sleeves only covered my shoulders and when I put my gloves on, I realized that I was truly ment to wear this. I then put my belt on and began to gear up. Inside the belt I place; my mini blow gun and several differnt kind of darts, my vex34, kunais, and various other throwing weapons. I alost place my tracking darts and device inside as well. The I attach my Katana with my family creast on it to my waist. The last thing I do is put my hair up in a bun.

"Mommy, you look deadly." Narul said as he sits on the sink in the bathroom. That is when we heard the door to the room up. We could hear Allen, Kanda, and Cross talking.

"Master was it really necessary to buy forty outfits for Kalira?" Allen asks and I can only giggle.

"Yes, it was and all of them will look stunning on her, not to mention I got four matching dresses for Asarina." Cross says and I can only picture him smiling.

"Well, we’re here on time and she is not." Kanda and his smart mouth. That is when I open the bathroom door and walk out. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE WILL BE DOING TONIGHT!!!!" At that remark the only thing I can give them is an evil grin

"Announcing, the princess of darkness, the midnight slicer, the daughter of stealth, the black mist, and the night tracker, Asarina." Narul says with an evil tone. Which causes us all to stare at him.

"Well, I have no idea what this mission is about." I say bluntly.

It was then Cross explained about innocence and how each fragment has an acommadator. It turns out the Millennium Earl wants to destroy the innocence cause the exorcist harnessing these fragments to create their weapons; these weapons are the only devices that can destroy and release the souls in the akuma. It was a lot to take in but it made me realize just how dangerous Tyki and his family were.

"Well, enough of this talk." I say and head toward the door. "Let's go find this fragment. "

Eventually we all leave the room and go back into town. I guess we wondered around for about an hour and we still found no luck. "Where would this fragment be located? Would it be in sewers?" Narul asked and I could only shake my head at him.

"That is highly unlikely it would be in the sewers and I dont see any signs that it is in the city." Kanda said and continued walking.

"Okay, bye mom, im going to go look for jems." The little dragon said before flying into a sewer entrance.

"Okay, I'm completely tired of walking around with no clue how to find this piece of junk." I state and just stopped walking. "Im trained to track and kill, not wonder around with no clue how to find something."

"Then how is it you track people?" Allen asks and begins to scratch his head.

"Well, normally I go undercover first and meet the peron. This way Narul can get their scent and then when night fall comes Im able to find them using Narul's great sense of smell. Eventually, I do put a physical tracker on or in them." I say and cross my arms due to I'm getting very annoyed.

"Wait, a minute. You mean to say that Narul is the tracker and your the night." Kanda says in almost disbelief, but who could blame him at this point.

"In a sense, that is correct." Cross says, "Never the less Narul makes his own choices. He can choose to help or not to help his mother."

"That is very interesting. To think you made it to the top of your game with the little prankster." Allen said laughing, but he was correct. Narul was always there for me.

"He is my fireball and my son. Make no mistake on what he is capable of doing or you might not live to see another day." I tell them with a straight face. Narul maybe a goof ball but he does know when to be serious.

"Either way, maybe there is no innocence fragment here." Allen says sadly, "Maybe we should just go home and tell Komui this mission was a failure."

"Maybe your right. Narul if you can hear me, we are leaving soon." I yell loud enough so he can hear me. Then I turn around and start to walk, the three boys follow my lead. What a waste of time this was, I think to myself.

"Mommy, watch this." Narul shouts and we all trun to see him pounce, throw some shinning emerald in the air and see him catch in his mouth, then he swallows it. "Yummy, tasty glowing emerald." Then he licks his lips.

"No!!!!!" The three boys scream.

"What is your problem?" I say in disbelief. "He eats jems and jewels all the time."

"Asarina, what Narul just ate was the innocence fragment." Cross says nervously.

"I don't feel good." Narul says and his wings droop.

Then the three knuckle heads start talking and arguing about what to. All I can make out was; what if he is an acommadator, cant be, why not he is an intelligent creature. They are talking so fast that I was getting a headache.

"Cat!!!! Dinner!!!!" Narul screams, l turn around and see him dart in an ally way. I then take off, not wanting him to get hurt. With what he swallowed it made me worried. I did not even see Kanda, Allen or Cross behind me. It looks like at this moment, I'm on my own.

_ **Cross’ POV:** _

I couldn’t believe this! We should all be going back to the inn and packing up to leave, not chasing Narul who wants to eat a cat! What struck me with interest and worry though was that cat had a bell. The same bell Lulu Bell had. Now there was a possibility the Noah’s could be around and we just got separated from Asarina one of the ones who is targeted. Looking back I notice only Kanda is still following me and it forces me to stop running.

“Kanda…Where is Allen?” I ask seriously and he only looks at me quizzically before looking back. He groans out in frustration before heading back to try and find Allen. Now we were all separated and no clue if the two main targets of the Noah’s were all right. Turning back around and facing the way I had originally began running and headed off again. It was that very moment I quickly un-holstered Judgment and fired hearing the explosion of an Akuma being destroyed.

“I told you he would have been able to quickly sense that low level Akuma the Earl let us use Devit!” I heard a laughing voice and I could only roll my eyes turning my gaze up ward.

“That Akuma wasn’t meant to kill him it was more of a test Jasdero.” The other voice said and I could only narrow my eyes at the dark haired and blond Noah. Of all the Noah’s to encounter it had to be the most annoying ones of all.

“I don’t have the time for the both of you! State your business and get lost!” I hiss watching as the jump down standing back to back with each of their guns pulled out.

“Our business is keeping you while the Earl and Tyki take care of business with Asarina and Allen.” They both laugh and I can only roll my eyes. Enough of this shit, I’m going to hurt them! I quickly aim my weapon type innocence at them and fire. I’m not surprised when the smoke clears from the explosions to see they had dodge.

“RED BOMB!” I hear them yell and I flip over the large fireball shooting at the two. So they still use the same tricks. I was not amused and I plan to end this rather quickly. For both Asarina and Allen’s sake, I can only hope that both of my apprentices can manage to hold up their own until I am able to get to them.

_ **Kanda’s POV:** _

After running away from Cross the only thing that seemed to run through my mind was that I had to get to Allen. I had an unnerving feeling in my gut that something horrible was going to happen. I know Cross and Asarina are both capable of holding up their own in a fight so I wasn’t concerned for them. Allen as long as he didn’t encounter Tyki then he’d be fine, but with his mental state as of late, I wasn’t so sure anymore, besides this was a normal mission nothing could go wrong.

“Oh my looky at what I found Lero! A knew doll to play with!” Sometimes I hate jinxing myself as I hear the high pitched cackle that belonged to Road, then next her many candles appearing all around me. I stop running when one almost pierces through me from trying to continue on.

“That is the one thing I hate about you Kanda, you’re too smart for your own good! But at least now I can stall you from reaching your precious Allen.” She says all too sweetly appearing not that far above me riding upon that pink umbrella named Lero.

“You leave Allen alone you wench!” I snap pulling Mugen instantly from its sheath and activating it. I grit my teeth angrily even more when she begins to laughing standing up balancing on the umbrella.

“You really think using Mugen is going to do anything to me?! Just accept the fact that you’ve already lost and that you’re going to loose Allen!” She snapped jumping from the umbrella and landing to in front of me holding one of her candles. I couldn’t help the pain filled yell I let out when she stabbed the candle into my stomach.

“Why can’t you just let my precious Tyki have his precious pet you mongruel!” She hissed and before I knew it I was sent flying through a few trees. I could only smirk feeling my hair fall around me shadowing my eyes.

“Because Allen isn’t a piece of property or an animal to own; I will not allow any of you to have when your intentions are only to hurt him. I will not let you harm my Moyashi.” I hiss standing to my feet feeling a dark chuckle reverberating through me as I lift Mugen up. I notice Roads look is now full of irritation.

“First Illusion…Netherworld Insects.” I say darkly and slash down Mugen, I will kill this bitch for what she was preventing me from doing.

_ **Allen’s POV:** _

It was official, this town was too damn confusing! I had run off separate from Kanda and Cross cause I knew they were going down the wrong direction. But, with my horrible sense of direction I only got my own self lost and here I was…standing in an alley way facing a dead end. I leaned forward resting my head onto the brick wall. I was muttering how stupid I was to let myself get separated from them all. It wasn’t long until I was standing straight again and staring up at the sky. I heard Kanda’s pained scream and I feel my eyes widening in horror. He was in trouble. Turning to run towards where I heard the scream I only crash into a firm chest before I am painfully slammed into the wall behind me.

“Looky what I caught, a little white mouse ready for me to pounce.” My body freezes up and I go stiff as I slowly lift my head to stare into the playfully deadly eyes of Tyki Mikk. I couldn’t help it when my hands begin to shack and I immediately began to try and shove him away. With my panic I am unable to over power him, especially when his hands roughly grab onto my upper arms and his lips are forced onto mine and he pushes me more against the wall. I couldn’t help the gasp when his knee brushes against me in between my legs and his tongue darts into my mouth. I could only whimper as I try to pull my head away.

“Stop…please…” I beg once he breaks the kiss and begins to kiss my neck as his hands quickly work on the buttons of my jacket and he easily removes it tossing it somewhere by us. Next he begin unbuttoning my white long sleeved dress shirt before also disposing it on top of my exorcist jacket. I make a pained noise when he bites down onto my neck and his thumbs begin running over my nipples. I feel his tongue licking around the area he just bit before sucking on the skin. His knee pressing further into me earning him an unwanted gasp like moan from me; I feel his lips tug into a smirk against my skin before his hands descend to the hem of my pants.

“No…don’t!” I cry out and he once again forces his lips onto mine forcing his tongue in once more as his hands undoes my pants pushing them down enough until they fall on their own to the ground.

“No more…please just stop!” I cry as I am flipped around a forced to slightly bend over before my face is roughly pressed into the brick wall. I feel tears spill over my eyes as I hear Tyki only chuckle darkly his hands continuing to roam over my body. I let out a moan when I feel an odd sensation run through me, but I knew what it was, he did it in a dream once way back before Kanda and I got together. He was using his phasing ability to push his hands into my chest.

“And why would I stop my little pet? You belong to me remember?” He says leaning over my back pressing his chest against me his mouth by my ear hot breath dancing over the skin. I had to press my hands against the wall to keep me balanced.

“I’m all you have Allen! No one loves you and no one wants you. You relationship with Kanda is just a fucking lie. His love for you is only an Illusion! He does not love you!” He laughs and I can’t help as more tears fall from my eyes and more unwanted moans coming from my mouth as his hands leave me and begin to pump my erection.

“I think it’s time to finally take you.” He hisses and I let out a scream when I forces into me. I hear him moan in satisfaction. “So fucking tight.” He says into my ear before he begins thrusting in and out of me. I begin to cry letting out sobs as I beg him to stop. Everything hurt and all I wanted was for it to end. I knew in reality he made it quick for this was only a temporary meeting but to me it lasted for eternity before I was forced to release and he released inside of me. I let him redress me as I had no more fight in me as the tears slowly stopped but I could still feel the fresh streaks.

“Now…let’s go join the others. I think my assistance is needed anyway.” He said and I can hear explosions of a fight somewhere off. I let myself be lifted off the ground from him and his arm wrapped around my arms and waist as my back is pressed against his chest.

“Kan…da.” I choke out biting my lip as I feel him slip us through the ground going most likely to the fight.

_ **Asarina’s POV:** _

"Narul, stop." I tell him as im running after him, "Please, I don't want to lose you. Forget the cat and lets find Allen and the others." I do not know where we are but I’m not thrilled with the noises I hear behind me. Maybe they got into trouble, but I have to get Narul first. Eventually we both end up in an empty town square and I see him sitting on the ground sniffing.

"I lost my dinner." He tells me and flys on my shoulder. "I'm sorry I took off."

"You are okay and that is what matters." I tell him and look around, "How do we find our way back?"

"No, clue. I could sniff for Cross." Narul says happily but knows now is not the time for jokes.

"Why did you have to chase the cat. Im sure we will find our way back." I reassured him.

"Asarina is that you.?" A familiar vocie calls and as he steps into the light, I feel my heart race faster.

"Adam, is that really you?" I call out and all I see is him smile. "I thought you were dead."

"No, just badly injured." He replies, "How have you been? Rumours have it you had a child?"

"Yes, I have a daughter named Kalira." I say and start to walk toward him but stop. "You do know that you are her father."

"I was hoping I would be. I have missed you so much. Narul, you got big." He says and Narul can only smile.

"Is this real? You are really here and I’m not dreaming?" I say tring to figure things out.

"Yes, im here and you are not dreaming. I guess this is a chance encounter." He says smiling and his eyes are some what different than what I remember. I stood there for a while in the dark; I hear an explosion and turn around. I know Kanda, Cross, and Allen are out there fighting but I was not about to reveal another secret. I look back at Adam but I needed to go back and get Kalira.

"Why so quiet? It has been almost a year and I want to hold you." He tells me and then everything went still.

"Are you willing to help me raise Kalira and begin a life with me?" I ask him with tears in my eyes.

"Yes, I'm sorry it took so long for us to find each other." He says with a smile.

Im not really sure what to do but all I know is Adam is the man I thought had died but now seeing him makes me want to be with him. As I start to run towards him I only get about half way there when someone grabs my arm. "WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL ARE YOU DOING?." Cross yells as I'm turned to face him.

"Let me go." I say and try to break free but he would not realease his grip at all. "I know that man and he is Kalira's father."

"Are you seriouse?" Kanda asks and is now looking confused as to why Cross won't let go. The both of them looked pretty battered

"You mean to tell me that our emery, the Millennium Earl is Kalira's father?" He looks at me with concerned in his eyes. That is when a blast of energy hit Cross and Kanda. I turn around to seee my handsome Adam had changed into a fat man with evil looking eyes.

"Now, Cross, you should not have done that." He says while laughing. "I'm sorry but he is correct. Like all the other Noahs, I to have a human form. Now lets go, Asarina."

I am completly pissed and heartbroken, the man who was the father of my child, is the same person who wants to destroy the world.

"I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU." I scream at him. "YOU WILL NEVER TOUCH MY DAUGHTER. CROSS AND ALLEN TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOUR PLANS."

"Did they now, but I will be taking you with me." He says and then 20 akuma appear. "There is no escape."

"Asarina, you have to leave here." I hear Cross say but the two of them are in no condition to fight.

"I will never go with you. Narul get ready." I tell him.

"Mothers Fury activate." In that moment my gloves responded and created my most dangerous weapon. The red material moved up my arms and over my chest creating an armor like hardness, the fingers became sharp points and the palm of my hands became ready to manipulate Narul's fire.

"Well, this is something I had no clue about." I hear Cross say in shock.

"How the fuck does she have innocence?" Kanda questions but he gets no reply.

"Narul, lets get to work." I say lifting up my hand, then he blows a fire ball into my hand and now I split it into five, then use my other hand to make it ten.

"YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME OR MY DAUGHTER."

Then the akuma come at me but im too quick for these huge monsters and dodge but never the less they die from contact with the fire. I manipulate the fire into anything I want. I can even channel the power of Mothers Fury into my katana. No matter how many of them come, they all end up dead by my hand. So long as Narul keeps feeding me the fire, nothing can stop me.

"So, when did you become one of them?" The Earl asks throwing up his hands and they stop attacking for now.

"I have never been one of them I found out I could do this when I was ten." I say in frustration ,

"Either way, its none of your bussiness. Stage three engage." In that instant Narul blows fire on my back, which is then caught by several disks. The disks, like the ones on my hands control the fire but make the fire in to wings and now my whole body is covered with the red armor

"Impressive," Kanda says and I notice both of them are standing up. Not worrying too much about them, I take to the sky drawing out my katana, which now has flames on it. That is when the akuma begin to move closer to me.

"HEAT WAVE!" I yell as I swing my katana and it destroys about 10 akuma.

"Mommy, they are after." I hear Narul scream and now he is flying in a bigger version but the akuma are not scared.

"Stupid dragon, you swallowed that fragment. See if you have the abiliy to use your fire to kill it." I hear Cross scream at him as I fight my way to save my son.

Next thing I know he turns around and lets out a huge stream of fire, then the akuma explodes. "All right new fire." He screams and grows bigger. Now the akuma are running from him.

I look and notice the Earl standing there looking at Crosd and Kanda. They are in no condition to fight him. I see him getting ready to realease another ball of energy at them. I dive down, only to block it and rebound back to him. Then I charge up my final attack.

"HELLS INFERNO." I yell and then everything is silent.

When the smoke clears, the Mellillium Earl is on the ground and all the akuma are dead. Cross and Kanda are impressed but I have some business to attened to. I prepare another fire blast only to hear Allen scream, "Let me go." We all trun to see Tyki forcefully holding Allen, you could see fresh tear streaks on his and all could tell that, that damned Noah has already done something to him.

"Let him go." I gave Tyki a warning as he now stands with Allen in front of his master.

"Get your hands off him." Kanda says and by his tone, I could tell he was pissed. I turn to see him slowly walking toward me and his face shows just how angry he is.

That is when Allen screams. I turn back to see Tyki's hand in Allen's pants. "Don't move or I just might take him where he stands." Tyki says grinnng with madness.

"What do you want?" I ask him and now im ready to kill him for two reasons; the first is due to my daughter and the second is for what he was doing now.

"I want to see you break." He says and uses his other hand to go inside Allen's shirt. "You made a deal with me and I got nothing. While you got your brat back, what did I get? I got norhing. I did not get Allen, You bitch." Then he kisses Allen's neck and I see is tears in Allen's eyes.

"You will never break me. Now let him go or so help me I will kill you." I scream.

"Tyki, lets get of here." I know see the Earl stading up. "Don't worry I have a full proof plan but she got me good."

I can only stare and wonder what he ment. The next thing I knew Allen was shoved into me, then this blinding light, and then both Tyki and the Earl were gone. Cross comes over and grabs the already hysterical Allen. I deactivate mothers fury and then out of nowhere, Narul comes with everything from the room.

"Lets get outside the city. That way Narul can take us home." I say and walking off, and following Narul to the gates of the city. Once a good few miles away, he is his actual size and we get on. Cross is keeping Allen from falling as he continues to cry, Kanda looks concerned and I want to hold my daughter. We fly for a good two hours and land at the order. The first thing I hear is Narul's stomach growl, and we all head to get a bite to eat. Don't understand why he eats so much but the cook once told me that it was a pleasure to cook this much for someone other than Allen. We all grab meals minus Allen who only sits at the table his legs hugged to him.

While we were eating, Komui came and sat down with us. "So, was the mission successful? Where is the innocence or did you not find it?" He asks. We all stop and stare at each other.

"Oh, we found it all right, dummy head." Narul said and then took a bite of his steak. That dragon torments Komui more than anyone esle here.

"Well, that is good news. General Cross, can I have it please?" Komui asks and then there is more slience.

"He does not have it and you wont like where it is." Narul replies grinning.

"Why do you say that?" He asks

"Let's just say I ate it and now I can kill akuma." Narul said and his smile only got wider.

"Great, now I have a crazy reptile as an exorcist and not to mention your mother." Komui said slapping his forehead. "The finders told me lots of things happened tonight."

"Yes, and it was crazy." Cross adds and looks at me.

"Road, Tyki, the psycho twins and the Earl himself showed up." Komui stated.

"We handled them easily." Allen said in monotone voice. I could that what Tyki did affected him badly and I knew just from the dead look in his eyes there was so much more we don’t know.

"In any case, it is not every day the Earl shows himself. I wonder what he wanted." Komui asks but I only get up to leave. I was going to ask Komui to talk in private but that was not how things worked out.

"The Millennium Earl is Kalira's father." Kanda said calmly and I found my self hitting him on the head with my tray and it broke in half.

"You are one mother fucking jerk...No wander Allen and most of everyone calls you Bakanda!" I tell him and run off to my room. My emotions were climbing and too much was going on. I had to stop them from surfacing or my world would once again crumble. Once inside my room, I noticed Kalira was in her cirb fast asleep and to think her father is the enemy, "He will never see you." I whispered to my self.

I reached into my belt pulling out a needle, my band and my bottle of Vex34, my only hope for my sanity. I fill the needle with the precious fluid, tie the band on my uper left arm, place the needle in my arm, and push the fluid into my body. It takes a few minutes but eventually my mind is calm. I put everything away, feeling fine and completly ready to take on the world.

I hear a knock on my door, "Asarina, its Allen. Can I come in and talk to you for a moment?" He asks me. Not knowing what he wanted to talk about, I walk over and open the door.

"Come on in." I say to him and he enters. " What did you want to talk about?"

"What do you know about love?" He asks and sits on my bed.

"Love is an emotion and sometimes an illusion." I say calmly, knowing the drug is in me and all sense of emotion is gone.

"So even though someone odviously shows that they truly love you, it could actually be an illusion." He asks me with a questioning voice.

"You can never tell someones true feelings for you unless you ask them but even still, it could just be a lie." I tell him stareing at my sleeping daughter. "In a sense love itself could be a lie, emotions are just things that make us hurt or feel fine. Love is the worst one, you may love someone but they could hate you. That is why love is so complex and mysterious."

"So, Kanda’s love for me could be a lie...an illusion?" He asks with dead eyes.

"Maybe but I don't know Kanda that well. My advice, stay away from love cause it is what will hurt you or possibly even kill you." I say turning around to face him. "Is that all?"

"Yes, thanks for the advice and I will stay away from love so it does not kill me." He says and then leaves.

 

**Well here is chapter 24 and whoa it is long! Hope you enjoyed the read let us know what you think. Please review.**

 


	25. Chapter 25

** Strawberry Gashes **

**  This chapter is not for the faint of heart! **

 

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Chapter Twenty Five- Strawberry Gashes All Over, All Over

** Allen's POV: **

I had walked out of Asarina's room finally and just stood there in the hallway leaning against her now closed bedroom door. The words that Tyki had said to me now rung through my head even more and the feeling of doubt began to fill me. What if he was right? What if Kanda truly didn't love me?! I pushed off of the door and slowly made my way into Kanda's room fighting the onslaught of tears that threatened to come. I began to try and remind myself that Tyki was a liar and that it couldn't be true. My mind had already fallen into that dark place once more and I just couldn't get myself to believe. I leaned completely back against the closed door of Kanda and my room, my head leaned back as I stared about the room. The tears fell and I didn't fight back the sobs that broke free, everything felt as if it was caving in around me and I swear… it really was. Timcanpy flew around my head trying to grab my attention but I only swatted him away slowly standing to my feet and making my way to the arch like windows in Kanda's room and pushed one open walking out onto the balcony.

Tim flew around my head and I now only ignored him standing right before the stone railing looking out over the trees and outline of Paris. The moon was already moving up high into the sky and stars were beginning to appear once more. I slightly climbed onto the railing sitting on it with my feet dangling over the edge and I slightly leaned forward starring down at the far drop below me. I contemplated it, but it wasn't the ideal death I wanted, it would have been quick and painless. That wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to feel my own life slowly begin to slip out of my veins, I wanted to feel that final ghost like breath push out of my lungs. I wanted to feel the numbness that appeared when you would cross over. I looked up above my head when the first small rumble of the thunder rang through and not long after the rain poured down around me. I could only stare up at the sky as the raindrops mixed with my tears.

_ I'm all you have Allen! No one loves you and no one wants you. Your relationship with Kanda is just a fucking lie. His love for you is only an Illusion! He does not love you! _

_ Maybe but I don't know Kanda that well. My advice, stay away from love cause it is what will hurt you or possibly even kill you. _

I couldn't help but cover my mouth with both my hands the sobs came on harder this time and I realized that their words had been right. I knew my love for Kanda was true since I had loved him for quite a long time now, but…I still had my doubts on Kanda since our relationship had occurred so quickly the night my cutting was brought to light. I slowly and slowly felt that the only person now days I could trust and go to was Asarina, but after the battle today I knew I couldn't stay with her. My recent talk was obvious that she needed to be alone. I didn't want to go to Kanda because he was already on edge from what Tyki had done to me in front of our group. Then there is my master…I didn't wish to burden him, I didn't want to seem weaker than what I already was.

I stumble back into the room nearly tripping but caught myself on the wall near the bathroom door. My vision was blurry from the falling tears. I felt tiny nips on my skin from Tim trying to snap me out of whatever state I was in. The actions only angered me and I grabbed him before throwing him out the open balcony door. I had hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind me leaning my head back against the wood and starred up at the white ceiling feeling the numbness fill me before I pushed off of the door and walked to the vanity. Starring into the mirror I felt my anger rise and before I could help it my fist connected with the glass and the shards fell to the vanity counter littering the marble surface and littered the floor as well. I dropped to my knees starring at the floor. I began to wander why my life had been driven to this point, I wandered why I still allowed myself to be hurt. I wandered why no one told me to leave when all I ever did was cause trouble. Letting out the breath I was holding I reached down and lifted one of the large shards of glass from the floor, examining it. This was it and I wasn't afraid, I had no regrets. Lifting the shard to my pale white skin I dug the shard into the scar I had made during Kanda and my fight re-slicing the scar back open. I watched the blood ooze out quickly and begin to run down my arm creating tiny rivers. I let a small sad smile grace my lips as I lay back onto the floor to stare up at the white ceiling.

_ You have to pull through Allen. You have to pull through so I can apologize, so I can fix the promise I told you. I need you , you're my Moyashi. Please...I beg you. _

I can only choke on a small sob remembering his words from when I first cut like this to actually kill myself. I couldn't help but feel bad for what I was going to be doing to him.

"I'm sorry Kanda." I whisper to myself watching as my vision was starting to become blurry. I can only curse myself though when I hear the door open and I just wished that God for once would just let me die already.

* * *

** Kanda's POV: **

'I can't believe her…that….that BITCH! How dare she hit me above the head with a damn lunch tray! I'll kill her…I'LL KILL….Hey is that Timcanpy?' I thought looking through the windows of the cafeteria to see the little gold golem flying about. I slowly stood from my seat unable to take my eyes off of him. He seemed frantic and I couldn't help the sinking feeling that appeared in the pit of my stomach.

"Kanda is everything alright? You seemed like you were about to kill someone and now you're suddenly blank." General Cross said and I only ignored his comments and I heard Lenalee say something as well but I was so lost in watching Tim that I didn't hear her. Lavi had called out to me but in that instant I had run out of the cafeteria right as the golem flew into the building from an open window and he had immediately made a bee line towards me trying to lead me somewhere. I immediately knew where he was trying to lead me.

"Lead me to Allen, Tim!" I said and he flew off in the direction to our room. This was making no sense, he had seemed fine when he had chased after Asarina. Besides there isn't any way for him to harm himself we took away all potential harmful items from both his and my rooms. The closer we got the more sinking the feeling became. When we got to the room it was eerily quiet and the only sound was the thunder and rain outside.

"I'm sorry Kanda." That's when I felt the breath in my lungs leave as I heard his apology. I knew he didn't know I was there. I was frozen in place for I don't know how long too afraid to see what I knew I was going to find. Swallowing down nothing I walked and stood in front of the bathroom door my sweaty hand resting on the cool metal of the door handle.

'Oh kami no…please don't let it be the worst.' I thought to myself and pushed open the door. All my fears came true in that instant as my eyes widened from the sight in front of me. Nothing ran through my head as I rushed forward dropping to my knees lifting Allen immediately into my arms. I didn't care if blood would be staining my clothes.

"Not again….Not again Allen!" I begged holding him close to me.

"Y-you weren't su-supposed t-to find me." I heard him choke out and could only press my lips to his trying to make him understand in some way on how much I loved him.

"Don't…don't you dare fucking die on me Allen!" I snap and jumped to my feet. "Tim go get help!" I yelled at the flying golem knowing that he was faster than me. I knew who could help and no matter how mad I was at her, I ran to her room which was only a few doors down from my own and banged on the door. I knew Kalira may be woken up and right now her killing me for waking her child was the last worry on my mind. Almost immediately the door was swung open and I swear if looks could kill.

"Kanda…this better be im…" She began to growl out.

"Please….I need you to help me….I…I…." I couldn't get the words out and I knew I was begging and looked desperate I saw her eyes roam over me.

"Kanda what did you do to yourse…." She began to ask and that was when the worst question that could ever be asked was heard.

"Kanda why are you covered in Allens blood?" Narul asked appearing on her shoulders and I knew from right there I may have my life ended especially if she doesn't let me speak.

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** Asarina POV: **

I stood there and looked at Kanda covered in blood, Allen's blood to be exact. The point was the dosage of Vex34 was beginning to slowly wear off since I only used enough to just calm me down and I was not prepared for this. I had only seen Allen about a few hours ago. I was unsure of what had happened but for his cocky boyfriend to show up and ask for help it had to be grave.

"Kanda, what in God's name is going on and I swear it better be good." I say with my eyes glaring at him for I was not in mood for any type of games.

"It's Allen, I found him on the floor covered in blood, the mirror was broken, he had piece in his hand, and the wound is very deep. I don't know what to do" He was talking to0 fast and it was jumbled. So I smacked him across the face in mid-sentence.

"Get a grip on yourself and come back to reality." I tell him and he looks calmer. "Now tell me what happened?"

"Tim got my attention and I fallowed him to our room. When I walked in I saw the mirror broken, a piece of the mirror in his hand and blood gushing out of his arm." He says with tears in his eyes. I knew I had to act fast.

"Narul get the medical supplies and hurry." I tell my son and ran to into the bathroom to get towels. When I came out I saw Narul had the supplies and was waiting for me. "Let's go."

With that the three of us ran down the hallway to Allen. I was not prepared for what I saw. The mirror was indeed smashed and there was a lot of blood, everywhere. The first thing I did was check his pulse and it was fading. I signal my son and he puts the container of medical supplies on the ground, which I immediately open and pull out a needle full of adrenaline. Kanda looked so pale but I had no choice. I stabbed the needle in him and injected it into his body. After a few seconds his pulse was getting stronger.

I grab a towel and start to wipe the blood away and apply pressure on his arm. Why in the world would he go this deep? My mind went racing as I tried to understand how and why he did this. After I got most of the blood cleaned from his arm, I pull out a needle and the fire ball heats up it. I then put thread in it and I'm about to start to sew it up that way we can move him. Next thing I know his eyes open and he just stairs at me, trying to figure out what I'm doing.

"Asarina, what are you doing to me?" He finally says as I'm about to start to sew up his arm. I knew that this stitching alone would not save his life but I would give us a few minutes to where Narul could free fall down the center of the building and get him to the infirmary.

"I'm trying to save your stupid ass." I tell him angrily and look over to Kanda who is in so much distress. "Now don't fight me or I will punch you. Why in the world would you do this?" Little did I know that his answer would cause me a shock.

"You said to stay away from love or it could kill me. So I decided it would be best if I just died now." He replied in sadness and I just froze. He then closed his eyes and I could tell his breathing had slowed down.

That is when it hit me, the conversation we had a few hours ago after I had injected vex34 into my body. I had told him love was an illusion and an emotion that causes pain. I stopped the stitching and look at Kanda, who was now glaring at me. I was in no mood to fight with him, but I had no clue what to say to him, so I started back on Allen's arm.

"What is he talking about?" Kanda asked me in a very pissed off tone of voice. "Tell me now or I will…"

"What in the devil happened here." Cross asked as he came into the bathroom and out of breath and almost slipping on Allens spilt blood.

"I'm not sure as to why he cut himself." I say calmly as possible, but I knew Kanda had other ideas.

"That is a bunch of bull and you know it. You were the last person to speak to him and he talks about love being an illusion." Was his reply

"Kanda now is not the time for this." I tell him as I finish the stitching. "Kanda, I need a blanket, and Cross can you move Allen once Kanda has placed the blanked outside the door."

"Of course I can move him. Kanda do what she says." Cross almost sounded like he was ordering him around and I thought Kanda would be mad but instead he ran to get the blanket.

"Narul, once we get Allen in the blanket, you will have about five minutes to get him to the infirmary." I tell my fireball as Cross picks up Allen. The stitching is holding, but blood is still coming out.

* * *

** Narul's POV: **

I watched Cross pick up Allen and carry him to the door. I knew what my mom was going to have me do. I'm kind of used to it, carry people to the nearest medical place I can find. This time I would have to be fast and careful, with Allen's condition, one wrong move or bump could be his life. I see Kanda lay the blanket down and Allen was placed in it. I see my mom tightly wrap Allen's arm up and Kanda is still glaring at her, which is making me uneasy. I know she took Vex34 and I have to watch out for her. If dummy Cross and his stupid hat finds out, then it will be bad.

"Okay, Narul, are you ready. You have five minutes to get to the medical wing or the bleeding will start all over again." My mom tells me with the serious tone and finishes tying the cloth around his arm. Then she ties the blankets corners. "Don't fail me."

With that I garb the blanket, lift up Allen, fly to the center, and then free fall drop. I heard Kanda scream as I was falling down. I know what I'm doing and I know the severity of what could happen. I was not going to allow Allen to die. I love to free fall, and soon I see the floor, in which I slow down. Then fly straight to the medical center doors.

"Open the doors." I yell as I see Lenalee and Lavi walking by. They open the doors and I fly through with them behind me.

The nurses see me fly in and drop Allen on a bed, immediately sending them into a frenzy asking what had happened. I explain to them that Allen cut himself with a piece of broken mirror and that my mom had stopped the bleeding long enough for me to get him here. Komui walks in and freaks out, then starts gathering equipment to help in the operating room.

"You two stay here with Narul." Komui said as he walks in into the closed door room. I knew he meant Lenalee and Lavi.

"This is great. I don't have to do that test now." I shout and start dancing around on an empty bed. Lenalee is trying not to laugh and Lavi is just staring at me. I'm having fun dancing but that is short lived.

"You are still going through with that test." Komui stats as he runs to grab something and then goes back to Allen, I just wilt and look sad.

I don't know how long we waited in silence before Kanda and Cross came in. By the looks of it, Kanda changed clothes and was rather pissed. "Where is my mom?" I ask them

"She needed to feed your sister and put away the medical supplies." Cross says and sits beside me. "You really are a lifesaver to have."

"So, what made Allen do this?" Lenalee asks and looks at Kanda. "We are not sure if he is going to make it but the nurses said that whatever Asarina did help Allen a lot."

"It's her fault that he is in this mess. Whatever she told him made him do this." He yells and now I'm going to lay down the law on him.

"You don't really know what happened either. My mom would never tell Allen to go kill himself." I yell back and now I grow slightly bigger. "You always blame everything on my mom and I don't like that. You really are a baka."

"You are an annoying reptile who does not really like anyone." Kanda yells back and now I have an idea.

"At least I don't do weird things in the forest." I threaten, because no one calls me a reptile or a lizard and gets away with it.

"That is enough from both of you." Cross says and I only stare at him. "Allen is seriously injured and could die. Narul, you keep quiet, and Kanda, you better not piss him off. Remember he did bite you."

I'm now sitting on Lenalee's lap and very mad. I don't know what to do, mom is on Vex34 again, Allen is dying, and Kanda is mad at me. Why does life have to be so hard and boring at times? I hope Allen lives or I might lose someone else. I hate my job sometimes but as mom says death is a part of life and if it is your time, then you have to go.

* * *

** Kanda's POV: **

After being yelled at by Asarina to get showered and change she leaves once she knows I will listen to what she says. My anger only builds from knowing that she had a part in Allen deciding to end his life and eventually I plan to get to the bottom of it. I close my bedroom door before slowly making my way back into the bathroom seeing his blood all over the place. I lean over and my shoulder collides with the door frame as I slide down to my knees tears falling from my eyes. I was so angry at Allen, angry at Asarina and livid at that fucking Tyki Mikk. I just wanted to go out and find that filthy Noah and kill him! All I wanted was for today to rewind, I should have followed Allen when he chased after Asarina out of the cafeteria this evening. I was such a fool. We all knew he wasn't completely better and that one of us should have been watching him at all times.

Gathering myself up as much I was ever going to be able to do, I stood from the floor gathering more towels and began wiping up the blood. Every once in a while I would have to wipe the tears that fell from my eyes. Something told me tonight was only going to get worst and I had no idea how I was going to handle this. I just wanted my Moyashi back in my arms. I wanted the both of us just to leave and go somewhere where no one would find us and he would be safe away from those damned Noah's! After cleaning the blood up, I stuffed the dirtied towels into a garbage bag and left by the bathroom door, I'll dispose of them properly later. Tearing my soiled clothes from my body I also stuffed those into a garbage bag and tossed it with the other before climbing into the steaming hot shower standing there. I scrubbed myself twelve times before I was satisfied enough and climbed out changing into my training outfit and headed out meeting up with Cross who had obviously been waiting for me.

Then we were off to the infirmary.

* * *

** Cross's POV: **

The last fucking thing anyone needed right now was an angry Kanda and an angry Narul going at it in the hallway. If Allen pushed through this time, that would be the LAST thing he would be needing to see. Two people he cared for deeply trying to kill one another. Asarina still hadn't made it over to us which meant she was attending to Kalira and will have to be updated once we find out about Allen's condition. Most of everyone minus Kanda and I sat in chairs as we watched the infirmary door waiting for someone to come out. This is the third time since I've come here that Allen has been rushed to the infirmary to get stitched up. Maybe I should have paid a bit more attention to him while growing up.

I am brought from my thoughts when the door slips open and Komui walks out, he shuts the door behind him and leans against it. You could tell there was a lot on his mind. I couldn't tell if what he was about to tell the rest of us good news or if it was going to be bad news. I looked about everyone and they all had the same expressions, anticipation. I could tell that even myself was anticipating the very thing that was about to be said to us. After a moment Komui removed his hat and let out a heavy sigh.

"Where is Asarina?" He asked, of course he would wander that but, that's to be expected with Allen and Asarina both being exceptionally close.

"She's caring to my sister and cleaning up." Narul answered for all of us and I was thankful for that. I look over and see Kanda shacking and I pray that Komui would get on with what he was about to tell us.

"Well, thanks to Naruls expertise flying and quickness we were able to save Allen." He said and I knew a weight was lifted off of everyones shoulders. But then his face went serious and I knew things were only about to get bad.

"Sadly Allen Walker has fallen into a coma and we have no clue on how long it's going to be until he wakes up." Komui then said and I watch as Kanda's eyes widen in shock and he falls to his knees. I myself couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was worst than having to deal with Allen when he went through his traumatized side. I stepped back and leaned against the wall and covered my face with my hand. He may be a baka minarai, but he is my baka minarai! He was the closest thing to a son I had and I don't want to loose that. Not many people in this day and age ever wake up from a coma!

"Cross, I think it would be best that Kanda and you trade off through out the day watching over him. During lunch the head nurse or I will be in to check his vitals." Komui then explained, I could only nod my head as I stepped forward towards the room. I could hear Lenalee trying to coax Kanda to get up and snap out of it, but I knew he'd be there for a good while. I also heard Komui leading Narul to Hevlaska so the worm like woman could meet him. It would be one hell of a surprise for Narul that is for sure. I heard Lavi say something about going and telling Asarina, but I was in my own world the moment I sat down at the chair starring at Allen. He was pale and his heart beat was slow, but thankfully it was steady. Kanda soon joined me sitting in the chair across from me. His eyes were still wide and I knew he was far away and probably will be for a while.

* * *

** Lavi's POV: **

I decided to let Lenalee handle Kanda and decided to chance Asarina and tell her of Allen's new situation and that he was in coma. I couldn't believe that this was happening. I thought Allen was getting better and I wandered what could have happened to change all that. Kanda said something about Asarina doing something, but then again, with Allen's state of mind I wouldn't put it past him to take something out of context and freak out over it. But then again I'm not at all surprised because once you look at everything that has happened then you would see that all the clues were there. We were just all too blind to see them. Allen made us all believe that he was getting better when in actuality...he really wasn't.

Stepping to in front of Asarina's door, I wandered if I should just wait to tell her and go check up on Lenalee first. She is going to be a bundle of emotions as well, but I knew this needed to get done first and I'd just stay the entire night with my girlfriend. She'd need me more then, than she needs me right now. Taking in a deep breath I let it out quickly with a huff and took hold of the door handle. Twisting it I closed my eyes as I pushed the door open.

"Asarina, I'm here to tell you about Allens con...di...tion..." I faded out as I opened my eyes and saw the sight in front of me and just stood there blinking. There sitting on her bed was Asarina with some sort of band tied around her arm and needle filled with some sort of liquid inside it by her arm. She was about to inject herself with whatever she had in there.

"If you do not wish to die Lavi... _ Get out! _ " She hissed and I found myself unable to answer and I quickly shut the door shouting apologies from outside the door and quickly walked off away from what I had just witnessed. I decided right then and there that I didn't wish to know everything about Asarina. Right now I was going to go find my girlfriend and keep her company while we all dealt with what we were now going through.

I will take what I just saw to the grave!

* * *

** Allen's POV: **

_ I opened my eyes to see myself floating in that vast pool of blackness, but unlike all the other times...this time I was unable to see the white lights which led me to dreams of others. I had this sickening feeling that I was in a place where I shouldn't be. A place where I won't be able to escape from very easily. Everything around me was suffocating and I wanted nothing but to run away and look for Kanda. But I was in my own personal hell and I had to live with this. _

_ Why had I chosen to kill myself? _

_ That was a question that I myself couldn't even answer because I was in such a weak state of mind that I myself couldn't clearly comprehend my own reasoning's. Everything around me began to spin and I felt like I was going to be ripped into tiny millions of shreds. I yelped when I was flung out of my dark pool landing on a hard ground with black and white checkered board pattern. This floor was all too familiar for me and I felt tears spring forward. As I slowly stood to my feet suddenly feeling cold. _

_ Where was Kanda and would he be able to save me? _

_ Something told me I was on my own expecially when Tyki slowly appeared into view with that sick wicked smile of his and my tears fell. I swallowed back the sob in my throat as I stepped backwards until my back connected with a wall. Soon Tyki was standing there directly in front of me not once ever saying a word. Even my sobs were silent. _

_ Everything after that was painful and I all I could do was scream for Kanda and run away from Tyki. A gash had reappeared on my arm from where I cut and blood dripped to the floor leaving a trail for Tyki to follow. I knew this couldn't be real and that I was trapped in some sort of limbo. Sent her to repent for my sin of nearly succeeding in killing myself. I vow when I get out of here I will never try to commit suicide ever again! I can't promise that I won't cut again, because it's not that simple sadly. But I will vow to never try to die again. _

_ I want to be awake. _

_ I want Kanda! _

* * *

** Well finally the long awaited chapter of chapter 25 the halfway point chapter of Strawberry Gashes! I bet you guys have been waiting ever so patiently for this and I do apologize for the long delay.  **

 


	26. Chapter 26

Strawberry Gashes

 

As promised here is chapter 26! Sharva and I are going to try and post as many chapters as possible in the next two weeks. So this should be a fun experience. Love you all. Enjoy the chapter.

 

Chapter Twenty Six-Watch Me Fault Him

 

Cross's POV:

 

A few days have passed since that night with Allen's attempted suicide and still, he showed no sign of waking up. Kanda and I take turns watching him, just in case he might surprise everyone once again and wake up sooner than what was predicted. I watch over him from early morning to lunch, Komui or the head nurse will take over for a few hours at lunch time, then for the remainder of the day and nigh Kanda is in here with him. I know this incident is tearing the samurai up inside and I truly feel for him. These past three mornings I have come in to find Kanda laying next to Allen whispering to him. Lately his eyes have become more and more dead like and if Allen doesn't wake up soon, then I don't know what this boy will do without my apprentice.

 

"Good morning General Cross, how is he doing?" I turn my head to see Lenalee standing there with two cups of coffee and I just smile at her sadly.

 

"No change sadly, and Kanda only seems to be getting worst though. I still don't understand why Allen would go this far. He was such a happy child even with Mana's death. Did my almost death really shack him up that much?" I ask letting out a deep sigh pushing my fingers through my red hair.

 

"Reever told me that no one ever suspects this sort of thing when it happens even with the knowledge he self harms himself. Our minds want to believe that the person close to us would never go that far, so when it does happen...it's always a shock. Maybe Mana's death ran deeper than you could have realized when raising him and you're death just tipped him over that fragile edge." Lenalee explained looking down into her cup of coffee taking deep breaths and I know she was trying to fight back the tears and the sobs.

 

Allen knew he had a lot of friends here that care for him. So far everyone including that damned Howard Link came by to check up on him by orders of Lvellie. All I know he was dropping off a letter to Komui. Sometimes I wander if they truly care or if they have a higher motive like I've always suspected. That is why I chose to always move around and keep Allen in the dark away from their prying eyes.

 

"Lenalee, he'll pull through like all the times before, he always does. We just have to have hope. I won't allow my apprentice to wallow in darkness anymore." I told her and once again the silence overcame us both and she soon left.

 

I watched Allen's face and I wandered if he was having any sort of inner battle with himself, he seemed so peaceful lying there. It reminded me of back when he was a child and he had that innocence about him. Even now he has a sort of innocence around him that keeps him almost like a child, but if you truly knew him...then you knew he was nothing like that. Because of how I chose to raise him keeping to my same antics of drinking and gallivanting with a new woman every night he learned some survival tricks. Yes they help him, but he still should have had a normal childhood and I robbed him of that. I wander if he blames me for any of it, or if he hates me at all. A part of my knows that he wants nothing to do with me, yet the other part of me wants to believe that he does view as a father.

 

People never realize what they have until it is taken from them or about to be taken from them, and that is what all of us are beginning to go through at this very moment. Allen is a very special person for every person in this building, whether he realizes it or not. All I know if when the boy wakes up things will change and I for one will make sure that he never feels like this anymore.

 

Lavi's POV:

 

I sat in my room thinking about what I had seen a few days ago trying to understand why Asarina would inject herself with anything. Was she some sort of drug addict and we never knew about it? Somehow that didn't seem like the case with her being an assassin, it didn't seem plausible. With me being a Bookman, I am usually able to figure these things out. But for some unknown reason my mind can't wrap itself around this, just how my mind can't wrap around the knowledge of Allen being in a coma. So much was going on and I had no where else to go and so I had gone to Lenalee for advise since both of us were in need of the other for comfort. I didn't tell her any details and I certainly didn't tell her it was Asarina. Lenalee told me she didn't know how to approach this kind of situation and that I should tell either Komui or General Cross.

 

Telling Komui was a flat out no and I was terrified of General Cross to even attempt to tell him. I had contemplated on telling Kanda, but that to was also a no go, he was in no condition to learn of anymore details. Coming to a decision, I decided on telling Cross and hope that the man doesn't kill me for not going to someone sooner. I let out an exasperated breath and pinched the bridge of my nose as I stood from my bed and headed out the door. All of this was just becoming too much for one person to handle and all of us seemed to not be really going to anyone for help or talking about it, afraid Kanda will hear us and possibly explode.

 

Now Kanda was a dumbass you see, during the day he was supposed to be sleeping since he stays up all night watching over Allen. But, the dark haired man chooses to eat breakfast then go train all damn day at the dojo. Everyone avoids him. Not because he wears that ever prominent frown because it's always there, but it's from the dead look that is in his eyes now. No one knows how to approach him, not even Lenalee. Komui and Cross have tried but he only brushes them off and continues on with his day. You can't blame him though. His boyfriend is in a sleep that he may never wake up from.

 

The walk to the infirmary was short from my room and as I walk in the breath in my lungs is taken from like each time when I walk in here. Seeing Allen on the bed hooked up to the machines and his arm heavily bandaged up leaves a pang on my heart and I can feel the onslaught of tears coming to my eyes. I'm a man and I know I need to be strong for Lenalee and not cry, but this was Allen. I thought I was done with the cries that first night when Lenalee and I spent the entire night laying by one another crying and praying that Allen would wake up. Taking a deep breath I walked over and stood by Cross, knowing the inevitable has to happen.

 

"I need to speak with you about something General Cross." I said, knowing being formal may be the best approach at this moment.

 

"Please Lavi, no formalities right now." Or maybe being formal wasn't the best choice after all.

 

"There is something I need to tell you and it has been eating me away." I began pushing my fingers through my hair letting out the heavy sigh I was holding in.

 

"You see I've been keeping it in for the past few days cause I didn't know if going to you or going to Komui would be the best option. I know Komui is the last person who needs to know this information." I rambled on and I could see Cross lower his face into his hand which was propped up by his elbow resting on his leg.

 

"Lavi you have three fucking seconds to spit it out or I'm going to throw you out of this room. Now is not a good time!" He hissed and I winced, yep things were about to become extremely horrible seeing as Kanda would be here and a few minutes to take over for Cross. Kanda was always here for when the check ups began.

 

"What does it mean when someone injects themselves with something you know its obviously not them being a drug addict?" I ask turning to look at Cross. He seemed to have frozen stiff and I had to wander if I should be fearing for my life about right now. Cross slowly raised his head and looked at me with a look of confusion.

 

"Where did you see this?" He asked the hated question I didn't wish for him to ask, but the cat was already out of the bag.

 

"Asarina's room when I went to go tell her about Allen's condition a few days ago." I explained and before I could react and run away Cross was up from his chair and forcing me to sit in it. Next thing I knew he was running from the room shouting for me to stay there and not move until either him or Kanda got there. Maybe this was a good thing for me and horrible thing for Asarina. But I knew I was going to die eventually by Asarina's hand for opening my mouth about her secret, but it was worth it. With what was going on everyone needed help from something.

 

"Lavi...where is Cross?" I looked behind me to see Kanda there looking like shit like always.

 

"Hey Yuu, just keeping your seat warm. Cross had to go deal with Asarina about something." I answered with my large smile, trying to cheer the man up in any way possible. I let out a small sigh when I saw him slightly smile.

 

"Thanks, you're truly a good friend to have." He said and I smile back getting up and walking over to Kanda patting him on the back.

 

"He'll get through this Kanda and you know it. Allen's not going to die." I reassure him and he only nods his head. I only wish though that there was more that I could do for both him and Allen in some way. Kanda went over and sat in the chair I had been sitting in. I sigh and look to Allen and freeze. Something was different, our close friend...he seemed to be in some sort of pain.

 

"Kanda...go get Komui right now!" I said once I realized what was happening, and I wasn't sure if anything would be able to save Allen from the tortures that was being bestowed upon him by Tyki.

 

Allen's POV:

 

_All I could do was cry and scream into the hand that was over my mouth as the man rammed into me from behind. Tyki had me pinned against the wall he had created in this vast universe him and Road had created specifically to hurt me. I cried for Asarina, I cried for Cross, I cried for Kanda...I cried for anyone to come and save me from this monster!_


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27- You’re Living a Disaster

_ **Cross POV-** _

I don’t understand this shit, and why do I have to be in the middle of it. First Allen’s coma and now I have to deal with a god damn assassin. I was so not looking forward to dealing with her, but unlike Allen, she can fight back. I don’t understand why she tends to believe that you can repress anything and not face reality. I can’t blame her, but then again she knows I will listen if she wants to talk, another thing Allen and her have in common is they refuse to talk to me or anyone else about their problems…..instead they talk to each other and every time that happens Allen gets hurt.

I push everything out of my head for the moment. I’m currently walking up to her room and I have no game plan. Normally I just storm in with my guns out but can’t do that with someone who has been trained to kill. I have to plan this carefully or I might be dead, but then again I’m a friend of the family. Why do I get myself in these stupid struggles? I know I’m going to regret this but if her father were here, I know he would set her straight.

By the time I came up with the plan which was to be as calm as slow moving stream, I was in front of her door and trying to decide if I really want to do this. I knew I had to or face seeing her as a zombie till she got over it. I swing open her door, only to find a band on her upper left arm and a bottle of the drug next to a needle.

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” I yell in reaction and grab the bottle only to throw it across the room. I hear the bottle break.

“You have no business to be in my room.” She yells right back and I can tell this might get ugly. “Get out, now”

“Not going to happen because you need to stop this and face the truth.” I say in a sort of calm tone because I’m not sure what to expect from her. There goes the plan I had.

“Just leave me be and get out. I don’t need your help at all.” She says and I can tell things are going to get ugly. “My daughter is asleep and you need to leave before you wake her up.”

“You are not going to hide behind your daughter or your son. This is your problem. How can live your life as an emotionless zombie?” I ask her and I raise my voice a little bit. I have to make her understand that she is only hurting herself.

“Vex34 is completely apart of my life as it is in many other of my fellow comrades. I don’t need you to tell me how to live my life.” She replies and moves off the bed.

“Now Asarina, you have to understand that this drug is only a temporary fix because you cannot seem to grasp reality.” I say and move toward her.

“You know nothing about my life Cross and how many lives I have ruined.” She tells me and I can tell she really wants to just get on with her day but I can’t.

“How can you do this to yourself? What happened with Allen was not your fault or anything else that has happened since you came here.” I yell at her and have to duck, since she just tried to hit me.

I find myself dodging her movements and then out of nowhere she pulls a dagger out, what the fuck did I get myself into. She actually lands a blow in my upper right shoulder. I feel the blade slide down and that is when I finally see an opening. I catch her off guard and pin her by the throat to the wall. Now she cannot move at all and can tell her off.

“Look at yourself, have you not realized that you are living in a disaster. Do you not realize that you blame yourself for things that you have no control of and then you shut your emotions out. Allen is in a comma and you are only making it worse.” I now scream at her, and that only wakes up Kalira. I throw her to he ground. “Take care of your child.”

With those words said I leave and slam the door. I know in my heart I did the right thing but I feel horrible about it. She needed it and I can’t stand that Vex34 drug. I used it once and I hated it, but her dad told me over time you get used to it but it’s a pointless thing. How can you live life without sheading a single tear or a smile.

I’m walking back to my room because I really need a drink, although my arm hurts like hell but I’ll be okay. Don’t really want to go to the infirmary and get yelled at for fighting with a woman. Along the way I notice Howard Link giving the little devil, Narul chocolate. I hope he realizes that now he will have to play ball with him, but knowing Howard he is studying the little devil.

Almost at my room when I notice Kanda running down the hall with the Komui…..wait why is Kanda with the crazy scientist. I see them pass me and then I take off, “Kanda, what the fuck is going on” I scream.

 

**Kanda’s POV:**

Of all the things that had to happen today was Allen falling into that dream world. The moment Lavi had told me to go get Komui I had dashed off. We only had a short time limit and I prayed to myself that he was going to pull through. Then here was Cross as we were passing him and of course he had no clue as to what was going on. I ignored him and the three of us raced down the hall way. I could see Lavi down the hall waving to all of us as we neared the room.

“Kanda!” Cross shouted and I gnashed my teeth together.

“He’s trapped in that world damn it!” I finally snap out as the three of us rushed into the infirmary and I watched Komui fumble at the counter with a bottle and a syringe. I slowly felt myself going numb as I watched Allen. His head was slightly moving side to side and he was groaning in pain. There was nothing I could do and I hated it. Lavi stood by my side with his hand on my shoulder.

“He’s going to be alright Kanda.” He said and I nodded my head watching the crazy man rush over to Allen’s bedside before injecting the medicine into his IV. We stood there…watching. Time seemed to slow down as we waited. Eventually though Allens face went completely calm and he stilled. I let out the breath I was holding so happy that he was going to be alright and pull through. Pushing my fingers through my hair I turned slightly and my eyes locked onto Cross and what he looked like.

“Oi, Cross when and who stabbed you?” I asked and now everyone had turned their gaze to him.

“Hey! I did NOT get into a fight!” Cross immediately snapped pointing his finger at me.

“More like you got into it with Asarina probably!” Lavi laughed and Cross was about to retort something as the head nurse was having him remove his shirt.

“Serves you right.” Komui muttered and we turned to see him going over Allens vitals his face straight and firm.

“Komui?” I asked, suddenly my worried were back.

“This was Allens medicine liquefied and it supposed to help him not dream Kanda. But he’s in a coma, I don’t know what it’s going to do. He seems fine, but…” He began and I held my hand up to him.

“Then he’ll be fine. You haven’t failed him yet.” I said and he only sighed going back to checking Allen over. I turned my head back to see Cross shouting at the head nurse to be gentler only to get the continuance of his harsh treatment. What Komui just said though wasn’t sitting well with me and from the look on Lavi’s face…it was the same for him. Looking to Allen his calmness stayed the same, and that is what was unnerving.

 

**Allen’s POV:**

 

_I ran as fast as I could hearing the laughs of my tormentor getting closer and closer. I was so scared and I screamed for Kanda, I screamed for anyone to come and save me. This was my own personal hell and maybe I was actually dead. This couldn’t be happening and I was so scared! Suddenly a flash of light ran passed me and I found myself slowing down to a stop. Something wasn’t right and I could feel. Then it happened, I fell to the floor in excruciating pain letting out an anguished scream as it felt like needles was were stabbing all throughout me. I heard footsteps approach and I did everything in my power that I could to stand back up, but I couldn’t, all I could do was roll onto my stomach. I let out a scream of pain as I was grabbed by my hair and lifted to my feet and forced against the invisible wall._

“ _Well this sure helps me a lot Allen. Time for another round.” He laughed and I could only cry as I felt hands course up my stomach under the shirt I wore. I couldn’t move and now I felt like I couldn’t breath as I felt sensations running throughout me. His touches, his bites, even his kisses were like scorching fire to my skin. Tears leaked out from my eyes as I felt my shirt torn from me. I just wanted this to end. Why couldn’t I wake up!_

 

**Well there is chapter 27 don’t forget to leave us a review! Until next time!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Hello once again everyone! This is chapter 28! We are excited to post it for you lovely readers! We hope you enjoy it. Have fun reading!**

 

Chapter Twenty Eight- She Said Kill Me Faster

_ **Asarina pov-** _

"Cross, why does he have to do this and get me even further into a state of where i need Vex34." I say to myself as I'm looking for one of my many spare bottles. It had only taken about ten minutes to get Kalira asleep, again. Finding the bottle, I return to sit on my bed and figure out the how much i should put into the needle. I know that you are allowed to double the dosage but what if i filled the entire needle? It has never been proven what happens when you put an entire needle full of vex34 in your system.

After making a decision, I fill the entire needle full of Vex34 and injected myself with it. Within a few minutes, my emotions are blocked. I look at the time and realize that Miranda will be here shortly. She likes to take Kalira every now and then and it does give me time to myself.

It seems as though time flies. I don't know how long I was in the dojo before I realized it was lunch time. My body began to feel strange, i figured I was just hungry. I headed down to eat and hear what Narul had been doing all day. My mind began to think of just everything that had happened over the past few days, I just brushed them aside and continued along my way to get something to eat.

Once inside the cafeteria, I get in line and notice Narul with Howard Link, the man Cross refers to as the lap dog of Lvellie, but at least my son is happy. Even if this guy is taking notes on his behavior and eating habits. I order my food and go sit down with Lenalee. I notice Lavi is not here, which is good cause i would like her to be around when i beat his ass for telling Cross. I stabbed Cross and i might stab him as well.

"Are you okay?" She asked me in a calm tone. "You look like you are having a bad day."

"Trust me, I'm alright. Kalira, did not sleep well at all." I tell her politely and take a sip of my tea. If she knew the truth it might kill her. “I will be okay.”

“I know everything is hard right now but things will get better. Allen is going to pull through.” She says smiling. I will never understand what is with her and smiling all the time.

The next thing that happens is Kanda sits down at the table and man did he looked pissed off. Then he looks over to see Narul sitting with Howard and he just shakes his head. “Is something bothering you?” I ask him.

“No, I'm peachy, everything is just peachy.” He snaps and glares angrily at his soba noodles.

“Are you sure? It seems you are pissed about something. Could it be the fact that Narul has taken an interest in hanging out with someone other than you.” I smartly say to him cause I don't remember the last time I saw them together.

“Don't start with me Asarina.” Kanda hissed at me with his chopsticks pointing at me, “I was just thrown out of the infirmary by the head nurse. Narul can hang out with whoever he wants to.”

“Getting kicked out is your own fault and don't point those at me. If you forget I have kunais on me all the time.” I threaten back, cause I that is point I feel like I can take on the world.

“I should not be here with any of you. I should be with Allen and watching over him.” Kanda snaps again and his mood turns for the worst.

“Well, maybe if you would sleep once in a while, you would not be an ass towards everyone and your mood would actually be peachy.” I reply in a cruel but joking tone of voice.

“I can't afford to sleep. Allen is my only priority and I don't expect any of you to understand. Once I’m done eating, I’m going to back to him.” He states in frustration.

“Kanda, Asarina is correct. You do need your sleep.” Lenalee says trying to calm him down but he makes no effort to even pay attention to her, which pissed me off.

“You are so fucking stubborn and blind. Everyone is worried about Allen and no one even knows why he did this. How can you take care of him when you can't even take care of yourself.” I state and raise my voice a bit.

“I am taking care of myself and its none of your business. What if Allen gets taken by Tyki while I'm not there? Then what would happen?” He yells at me and I notice his tight grip on the chopsticks.

“In your condition, I say maybe you would last a minute against Tyki. Besides that, Tyki would have to be insane to attack the order.” I kind of yell at him but he needs to get things through his skull. “In a sense, you are being irresponsible and very confused on certain matters”

“I’m irresponsible? This coming from a mother who let her daughter get taken by the very people everyone in the order despises.” Was Kandas counter and now he is treading a fine line with me.

“Don’t you dare bring my child into this. Are you forgetting that you pissed off my son?” I threaten him and I’m now holding a kunai in my hand that is under the table.

“I did not piss off, Narul.” he shouts and now a little audience has formed.

“Yes you did and I’m starting to see a resemblance between you and Tyki.” I shout back. “You are just a possessive as he is.” I stare back at him.

“This coming from the woman who slept with the earl and gave birth to his child.” Kanda calmly says with a smirk.

“You leave my daughter out of this or else.” I say gripping my weapon tightly.

“That night we had the mission, Cross grabbed you when you tried to go to him. What does that tell you and everyone here.” He says.

“Lets not forget who let Allen get taken by Tyki and you don’t know what was going through my mind at the time.” I say and now I’m getting pissed.

“Lets not forget whose child took off after a stupid cat.” He replies and now it’s over.

“You did not have to chase after me. I can handle my own and whose fault is it that Allen questioned his love for you.” I say and quickly cover my mouth.

“That would be yours. I don’t see why Allen confides in the likes of you.” He yells at me, “He should have come to me and not to you.”

“I was not in the right state of mind to talk to him and yet I did. He asked me if love was an illusion.” I yell and slam the kunai on the table, which in turn my arm slams on the table. I quickly lift up my sleeve to check and rub where is literally stabbed the needle, which bruised.

“You had no right to put more thoughts into his head and you have no more business being here.” He yells at me.

My mind went racing on everything that had happened. My daughter being part Noah, the fact that I almost gave Allen to Tyki, and the fact that my life is now crashing down. “You don’t know what my life is like since I came here.” I say and now I feel like I’m shaking.

“No I don’t but you have no clue what I have had to endure since you came here with a mission to kidnap Allen.” He says angrily.

“What happened to Allen was not my fault.” I say trying to get my mind together.

“Yes it was, Part of it was Tyki and you finished the rest of it. Why would Allen choose death over life. It was your words that sent him to that point.” He yells.

“So its my fault for all of this. Everything is just my fault. The order of life is killed or be killed. Sacrifices have to made or you fight to keep what is yours, even if it means to betray another.” I say trying to remember my training.

“I know what it is like out there. So don’t lecture me on life.” He screams again.

“then if you do understand that, you also know about mercy and forgiveness. I did not mean for any of this happen. I was bringing you all a message and got separated from my child.” I say and now I’m beginning to lose it.

“The only people who deserve mercy are those who are honest and true. That is something you are not.” He says and glares at me.

“Then neither do you. The only two things that matter to me are my son and my daughter. I would give up my life to save both of them. You have no clue about me at all.” I say.

“I know enough to know that all you are is a backstabbing, conniving, monster that will do anything if it benefits for your personal gain.” Kanda say.

“You what first Lavi then Cross and now you. Im done here.” I scream and start to run. I about to loose control. I need more vex. As I run I bump into Komui and see Cross jump back. I just keep running cause I have nothing here anymore.

I run to my room and grab the bottle. All I could seem to do was fill the needle and after that I just sat there, crying. Maybe Cross and Kanda are right about me. Thinking about how many people I have killed in cold blood and how many might have been killed again by Allen and his friends, just made me sick.

I don’t know how long I just sat there before I heard my door open.” Get out of here Cross unless you want me to stab you again.” I say still in tears.

“So, you stabbed Cross.” I knew that voice and knew it belonged to Komui. “What is going on with you?”

“IF you are talking about the bottle, the needle and the mark on arm. Its my decision on my life.” I say and I just wish he would leave.

“This is not who you are and you know it.” I feel him sit next to me and I see him pick up my bottle.

“It’s really nothing to concern yourself with. It’s just an assassin trick.” I say as calmly as possible.

“Then why use it?” He asks and I feel is hand gently touch my shoulder.

“It keeps my emotions in cheek and allows me to live my life without them interfering.” I say and I cannot bear to look at him.

“Emotions are what makes us human.” He says and I can tell he wants to help but can I trust him.

“I want to be alone.” I say to him and looked into his eyes.

“I cannot leave you in this the state you are in. Think about Kalira and Narul.” He said and that is what worries me, my dragon son.

“That is exactly why you have to leave before he catches you in here with me. Unless you want to get burned by him…again.” I say trying not to laugh.

“IT bothers me as to why you don't let anyone in.” He says and now his arm is behind me and bringing me closer to him.

“Its who I am, all the trainings and everything I have been taught.” I say and grab the bottle. “Our only way to cope is within this bottle that makes everything go away until we either get over it or face it. Most choose to not face it.”

“Reality is something that everyone faces. Even now, the entire order is facing reality that Allen might not ever wake up.” He tells me and I find myself resting my head on his chest and the tears pour out again.

The thought of Allen never waking would make me feel even worse. The fact that I can’t even reach him while he is in his coma makes me frustrated even more. I know the dangers I face when I go there and the fact that you have to know how to separate the two or your mind will warp. And yet I’m willing to take that risk.

“You cant keep doing this to yourself. Do you not understand that the order acts like an extended family in a way.” He says.

“Family are those closest to you and yet sometimes you cannot even trust them. I learned that the hard way.” I say and tilt my head up to meet his eyes.

“The life you live is different from the life I live but there are similarities.” HE tells me while his fingers run through my hair. “For one this is one thing I know. Love is something that hurts but it can make you stronger. The pain you are feeling is betrayal from someone who you thought was dead, but only to realize that he is a powerful enemy.”

“I know this much for certain. Kalira will never ever know who he is. As far as I’m concerned, her father died before she was born.” I say in anger and I can see my crumbling world being rebuilt. Maybe somehow I can find a way to make things work between us but first Allen has to wake up.

“That is your choice, you are her mother and this is your choice as well.” He says and in his hand is my needle filled with Vex34. “What are you going to do?”

“I'm not sure. I do know it was a bad idea to fill the needle completely with it. I guess that is why I’m like this.” I say and take the needle only to throw it across the room.

The next thing I knew I feel his lips on mine and find myself pulling him closer to me. I want him to be mine but I really don’t want anyone to find out. The next thing I knew I was lifted up and placed on my bed.

 

Lenalees pov

“What did she mean Cross?” I yelled at him and then I saw my idiot boyfriend walk in, “Same goes for you Lavi.”

“What are you talking about Lenalee?” Cross replied and was rubbing his arm.

“Not sure what you mean.” Lavi said with a smile.

“While you all stand here and talk. Im going to make sure Asarina is okay.” My brother said before leaving. “Sis, tell me everything once you find out what went wrong.”

“Sure thing brother.” I say but I wish he would leave me and Lavi alone for once.

“Lets go to the conference room.” I say and start to walk only to notice that the three of them are not walking with me. “If you three do not hurry, it will be your last day.”

AS we all walked I can hear Kanda mumbling something but he shuts up every time I look at him, Lavi is scared about something and Cross was just being Cross. Once inside I force them to sit down and lock the door.

“Now I want to know everything. I know what you did Kanda but I don’t know what the two of you did.” I shout

“I did not do anything.” Lavi says in a studder.

“Really, you did nothing. Cross why are you rubbing your arm?” I added and pointed to him.

“What are you talking about?” Cross replied in an annoyed tone.

“Are you forgetting that Asarina stabbed you?” Kanda replied and I just stare at the three of them.

Several Hours later…

I find myself dragging the three idiot boys with me to apologize to Asarina. After what Lavi told me and then hearing what Cross did...it really made me mad. None of them wanted to say sorry. So I told Lavi no sex for a week, I would tell the head nurse to ban Kanda from seeing Allen, and tell Jerry to not order any more booze for Cross. They took my bluff and came with me.

“This is not fair, my sweet flower.” Lavi said as we walked to her room.

“Yes it is. You should not just open someone’s door.” I replied and I did feel bad for what I said to him about the no sex but it had to be done.

“Can I at least get a few glasses of wine in me before we go see her.” Cross complained, “I got stabbed once already.”

“It serves you right for pinning her against a wall.” I smartly say and wait for Kanda to say something next.

“I do not see why I have to come and apologize to her.” Kanda finally says, “I need to be with my Allen.”

“You brought an innocent child into an adult argument. That is the lowest of the low and if you don’t want Allen to find out, you will say sorry.” I tell him in a voice that meant try me cause if you don’t I will tell him.

After a while we reach her room. We all just stand there and then I knock on the door. We waited a good few minutes and then I knocked again.

“She must not be in her room.” Lavi said in a whisper.

“Maybe she is taking a nap.” Cross replied

“She could be getting dinner with Narul or sharpening her weapons.” Kanda says and we all just stare at him.

“Well I say we knock one more time and the Kanda opens the door.” I say in a little giggle.

“Why me?” Kanda asked.

“YOU have the best reflexes and can avoid a kunai being thrown at your face.” I say and everyone but Kanda giggles.

We knock on the door again, wait for a few minutes. Then Kanda opens the door and we all see the most unexpected thing and something I never want to see again. My brother's clothes on the floor with Asarina's and both of them under the sheets.

“Oh my lord.” Cross yells, and then we see Asarina's eyes open.

“You all have three seconds to close my door or..” was all we heard her say as Kanda slammed the door shut.

“Hey guys, why do I smell Komui in my room.” We hear Narul and next thing we know is Cross grabs him by the tail.

“We are going to dinner and you are coming with us.” Cross tells the little demon dragon and he just sits on Cross.

AS we walk down the hall, I become worried about what he was going to do to my brother. I hope nothing to serious but then again I wish he would.

“So, it was Asarina and Komui had sex with in his office the day we had that meeting.” Lavi blurts out and we all stop and glare at him.

“What exactly is sex? I know I read it in your diary but I don’t know what it is.” Narul says and tilts his head.

“Now you have done it, and you don’t need to know what sex is.” Cross yells and Lavi flinches.

“Sex is when two people love each other and it is how babies are created. Usually the man is on top of the woman.” Kanda sates and we all stare at him and then look at Narul.

“So, sex is like that thing called porn that Lavi watches on his computer.” Narul asks in a manner that makes me worry.

“Lavi, why on earth are you watching porn?” I scream as we all start to walk down the hallway. “Now Kanda you do realize that Asarina now has a reason to kick your ass.”

“So what, it’s not like I’m scared of her.” Kanda states.

“I wanted to get ideas and Narul sneaked into my room, so it was not my fault that he saw it. My lovely idiot says.

I dont know how long we walked until, I noticed that someone was missing. “where did Narul go?” I ask and then everyone starts to look around.

“Do you smell something burning?” Lavi asks and then turn around to see smoke coming from my brothers office.

We all ran in only to find the little dragon blowing his fire at my brothers desk and laughing. “Narul, what are you doing.” Cross yells and just like that he flies out through an open window.

“Can this day get any worse.” I say and then it does.

My brother runs in and starts screaming about his paper, then he set a komlin after my boyfriend. After Kanda destroys it we all leave and then hear my brother shout that the paper work was behind the door. Once we get the cafeteria and order our food. No one speaks and there is no sign of Narul or Asarina.

Just a normal day at the Order.

 

_ Allen’s POV- _

_I opened my eyes staring at the vast blackness that was my mind curled into a little ball as Tyki stands to his feet and begins to walk away. All I wanted was for him to leave me alone and go away. I slowly sit up and reach out grabbing onto the only clothing I had which was a pair of black pants. I stand and slip them on and just stare ahead of me. Reaching out my hand rests on the cool invisible wall that was keeping me trapped. I had already questioned Tyki and the wall wasn’t created by him. I think he was lying. I jump when his arms encircle around me and his lips are pressed to my neck._

“ _I know you want out my shounen but that won’t be happening? This is your own doing.” He whispers into my ear his hands running over my stomach._

“ _You say you want me but you allow me to be trapped here. Just release me and we can go back to the cat and mouse game.” I cry out, but I am spun around and pressed against the invisible wall._

“ _But then I wouldn’t have you where I want you little shounen.” He teased leaning forward again this time biting onto my neck. I swallowed the moan that wanted to escape._

“ _Please, I just want to go home! If you release me then you’ll have your chance to get me and actually have me!” I beg feeling the tears wanting to spill over my eyes._

“ _Tyki, if you don’t hurry the Lord Millennium will get angry for you being late to meet up with him.” Came Roads voice and I heard an anger filled growl come from Tyki._

_He finally released me and took a step back giving me that insane smile of his before turning and walking away slowly fading into nothing. Road sat there floating about in the air and the two of us only stared at one another. I felt a pang in my chest wishing she was on our side so we could be friends, I knew there was a chance that we could be._

“ _You know Tyki is right, it’s not us keeping you in. This barrier is all yours. Concentrate you’ll see what I mean when you do.” She says and I take a deep breath before turning to face the wall, closing my eyes. I focused on the wall in front of me._

_**Hey Allen! I’m back again!** _

_That’s when I heard it, I heard his voice. Narul’s voice. I was so happy I wasn’t going to be alone in this darkness anymore._

_**I brought you some mitarashi dango! Please wake up so we can share.** _

_I felt my stomach churn as it growled wanting some sort of substance placed into it. My mouth began to water just thinking about how yummy it would be to eat those. I heard Road begin to laugh behind me and I opened my eyes._

_**Oh well I guess I’m going to eat them by myself again!** _

“ _NO I WANT SOME TO!” I yelled banging my fists onto the invisible wall feeling it shack under me as I did so._

_**You moved! You moved you moved you moved!** _

_Narul sounded happy and I froze at my action, did I really move? I began to slam my fists against the wall again. I wanted it to come down but it wouldn’t. After a while I heard the munching sounds of Narul eating and soon it faded. I began to cry running to where Tyki had made a chair and table appear and grabbed onto the chair running back and using it to try and break the wall. Eventually the chair broke and I was back to using my fists._

“ _LET ME OUT!” I screamed, Narul’s voice had vanished and I slumped to my knees crying my arms wrapped around myself._

_**I’m back! I brought something with me that may help you!** _

_His voice returned after a while and I watched as the wall that was keeping me trapped turned from completely clear to a hazy white. I slowly stood to my feet again and I heard Tyki laughing with Road at what I was trying to do._

“ _That dragon amazes me this is the third night he’s been here injecting something into my Allen. It’s not going to work.” Tyki taunted and I felt all my anger swell from within me._

“ _LET ME OUT!!!!!” I screamed_

_My fists came down onto the wall and I felt a sharp pain course through my mind and I heard a gasp come from Road. Looking up I saw a crack had formed into the wall. Ignoring the pain in my mind I began to repeatedly hit the wall the crack getting bigger._

“ _That is enough shounen!” Tyki yelled rushing over to me and wrapping his arms around me. I fought against him and my foot managed to connect with wall again. This time we watched as cracks formed throughout the entire area around us._

“ _LET ME OUT!!!!” I screamed one last time activating my arm and swung it the wall came crashing down over us. Tyki had released me to shield himself and Road who had run over. I took that as my chance and just ran. I ran like my life depended on it._

“ _Get back here!” Tyki shouted, but I refused to listen stopping I turned around to see Tyki chasing after me. I didn’t know where to go. So I began to run._

‘ _Stop.’ A kind voice echoed around me and I found myself slowing down to a stop turning around only to see Tyki crash into another wall. This kept him out. I felt a smile dance across my lips._

“ _You can’t get me!” I shouted and out of randomness turned around and slightly pushed my pants down. Before pulling them back up and turned around to stick my tongue out at Tyki. Road was laughing and Tyki looked just about ready to kill me._

“ _This wall will come down Allen and when it does you will be mine!” He shouted_

_I spun on my heal and began walking, I noticed that this barrier moved with me and Tyki walked with it following me. I don’t know how long that this would be up so until then I will keep walking and find my way out._

 


	29. Chapter 29

**So here we are up to the next chapter! Things are getting exciting don't you think? I know I'm excited I've been just WAITING to get to these chapters till the end. Things are about to get heated. Hope you enjoy.**

 

Chapter Twenty Nine- With Strawberry Gashes

 

Asarina pov

 

It had been a few days since Komui's desk had been burned and Narul had found a letter mentioning my name. I had read the letter over a dozen times by now. Lvellie wants to take my daughter away and I was not going to let that happen. The question was how to leave and where to go. She is only 8 months old and I was not about to let go into his hands. The fact that Komui kept this from me was making me wonder about his true motives for me. I have no choice now but to call my dad and explain why I have gone off radar for the last year and 3 months. I gather my equipment needed to make sure no one can trace the call. I know Komui was in a meeting and his office would be unlocked.

 

After I gather everything I left Narul and Kalira sleeping. I did whisper to him that I was calling grandpa and to stay put till I got back and if Kalira woke up to get Lenalee or Miranda. Then I closed the door and walk to his office. Once inside I locked the door and set every thing up. Then I dialed the number and waited.

 

“Hello Chi family residents, how can help you.” The voice on the other side said.

 

“I need to speak with The Golden Dragon, Shaun Chi.” I say and know there is no turning back.

 

“Im sorry but he is not accepting calls at this time. I can direct you to the assignment manger.” She replies

 

“I need to speak with him at once. Assassin code 3659 Night Tracker.” I say forcefully into the phone.

 

“One moment.” She says in fear and then there was silence.

 

Not sure how long I waited before I heard a voice breathing on the otherside.

 

“Asarina, is it really you.” The voice said and I knew it was my father.

 

“Yes, it is really me. Father there are so many things I have to tell.” I tell him as I play with the cord on the phone. I was not sure where to begin but I knew he had to know. “I have gotten into some trouble and I am not sure I can handle it on my own.”

 

“You have been off radar for over a year. Many of thought you were dead or had been taken. Not to mention I am you father and you should have gotten a hold of me to at least let me know that you were alive and well. How is Narul doing?” He asks while trying to stay calm.

 

“Narul is fine and im sorry but so much has happened and I afraid that the situation im in is far worse than I could have imagined.” I reply and place my hand on to my forehead.

 

“What is going?” He asks and that when I realize I can not turn back.

 

I tell about how i meet Adam, then about being pregnant with Kalira and how Adam died. Then I tell him about the condition Cross was in when I found him and how he asked me to take a letter to the European branch of the Black Order. From there I explained how Kalira was taken from me and the the deal. How I managed to get everyone to help, while leaving out Komui and me, and then with the fact that Kalira's father is not dead but in fact the millennium earl.

 

“Which now Lvellie wants to take her form me. All because she is half Noah.” I say and he can tell that I want to cry.

 

“Look the best for you to do is to leave. Ill go to Rome and make somethings clear. Ill wait four days down there before I make my way to paris with a squad of 50.” He tells me. “Just get out of there by train and then get off at the next station. After that pay for a ticket to somewhere else and then leave for Rome on Narul.”

 

“Understood, and I will be there. I have to go someone is trying to get in.” Was the only thing I said and then I put the phone down. I gather my equipment and go to leave.

 

“What are you ding in my brothers office?” Lenalee asked with her arms crossed.

 

“Just making a phone call.” I say and walk right passed her.

 

“What you are doing is worng. You do realize that.” She says and follows me down the hall.

 

“It is life to survive, and if you must know what I do in my personal life is none of your concern.” I say to her and pick up my pace.

 

“So then what is my brother to you?” She asks and tries to keep up. “Is he just a toy or does he mean something to you.”

 

Is what I hear her say but im already in my room locking my door. I begin to pack my equipment first and I know leaving is the last thing I want to do but I have to protect my daughter for the likes of anyone who would want to hurt her. Tomorrow will be two weeks since Allen slipped into his coma. At least he is now safe but I wish I could have been able to see him when he wakes up.

 

“Mommy, why are you packing?” Narul asks and looks around.

 

“We are going to meet up with grandpa in Rome. IT is the only to protect Kalira.” I say and continue to pack.

 

“Well, I am off to visit Allen. Maybe he will be awake soon or maybe he is.” HE say and disappears out the window.

 

I walk over to the crib and see my precious baby, sleeping soundly. “I wish things were different, but we have to leave or you could be taken away from me again.” I gently say to her while rubbing my hand over her head.

 

**Kanda's POV-**

 

I had been kicked out of Allen's hospital room again by the head nurse. I swear she's doing it on purpose! Doesn't she know this is bad for my health worrying over him so extensively! I had just finished my quick meal which was Soba and now here I was heading back. My eyes were closed for now since I had the path memorized, the tips of my fingers grazed along the wall that way I knew I was out of everyone's way. Lately I hadn't been wearing my hair up, every one of my hair ties broke due to my frustration I kept feeling.

 

My walk came to an end very quickly and now I stood in front of the door to Allen's infirmary room. I could hear someone shuffling inside the room and I wandered who it could be. No one should be in there and this thought angered. Ripping the door open I stood there glaring with my most hate filled glare. There he was, the little dragon Narul in his shrunken form injecting something into MY Allen. The moment he saw me though he quickly finished and bolted.

 

“NARUL GET BACK HERE!” I roared and made chase after him. I was surprised I was able to keep up with him. I followed him all the way outside where he began to dig and I knew he was trying to hide the evidence.

 

“Narul! What the hell were you doing to Allen?! Better yet what the hell were you injecting into him?!” I yell coming up from behind him. I was seriously not in the mood today!

 

None of your business. Its nothing that is going to hurt him.. " Narul says and grabs the stuff from the hole and flies into the tree.

 

"Narul you better tell me right now or I'm going to Asarina about this!" I yell making sure to keep the little dragon in my sights

 

“Go ahead! She'll probably kill you if you wake up my sister!” Narul screams, it looked as if he was looking for a branch to hide whatever he was injecting into Allen. He hides the stuff but a bottle falls to the ground and I lunge for it in hopes that I would get it before he did. Regardless I was still able to read the words upon the bottle. It read Vex-34. Sadly Narul gets to the bottle first and flies back to the branch.

 

“Narul what the FUCK is Vex-34?!” I yell again my eyes ablaze with anger all I wanted was answers, but this little dragon was trying my patience.

 

“It's nothing for you to know about! After all you don't care about my mom so anything of hers you shouldn't worry yourself about it either!” Narul screams back at me.

 

“When it fucking comes to Allen I will worry about it! Now you better tell me or I'm getting your mother about this!” I was getting so angry this little guy was not helping one bit.

 

“It's something that made Allen move...” Narul says with a shacky voice.

 

“What do you mean it made Allen move?!” I yell clenching my fists trying to calm myself down.

 

“I put some in him a few nights ago and he moved. SO I have decided to continue doing it. My hopes is that he wakes up soon, but I don't think anyone will like it when he does.” Narul explains as he decided to fly down landing on a stone bench. I could only sigh pushing my fingers through my hair.

 

“And why do you say that?” I ask him, my voice finally normal and not yelling.

 

“Because of the side effect this stuff has on people.” Narul says rolling the bottle with his claws.

 

“Narul what is it going to do to Allen when he wakes up? I need to know so I'm prepared.” I explain to him, he was confusing me more and more.

 

“It's a secret used by assassin's. My mom used it once and it was bad, she even bruised her arm.” The little dragon said sadly looking down at the ground.

 

“Narul, if it's bad then why use it on Allen?! What does this stuff do?” I was feeling myself beginning to panic now.

 

“Makes all of you emotions vanish. It makes every bit of them non existant.” Narul begins.

 

“It's why my mom started to use it after finding out who my sister's father really is. It's the same drug Lavi saw her use the day Allen went into his coma.” Narul continued to explain.

 

“But how could an emotion inhibitor help Allen....it makes no sense.” I say trying to grasp my mind around what I was just told.

 

“I'm not sure why he moved a lot, when I put two doses in him but it's not like you really care about anything but Allen.” Narul says jumping down from the bench, I ignore the comment about me not caring. I do care I just have an odd way of reacting to things and most of the time I say something stupid.

 

“Not much time left.” He then says and I arch an eyebrow.

 

“What do you mean by not much time left?” I ask him.

 

“It's none of your concer even if you did know! It's not like you would care what happens to us! All I wanted was to see Allen wake up!” The little guy half yelled and half cried and I sighed.

 

“Narul, with how I act I know it doesn't seem like I care, but I actually do. When I get angry or frustrated I say things I don't mean. I would never want anything to happen to you guys. This whole thing with Allen just has me really upset and I don't know how to cope.” I explain to him lowering myself until I was sitting on the ground across from him.

 

“You're just saying that! You could careless if anything were to happen to my mom or my sister. All you care about is Allen and the people you trust.” Narul says in an angry sort of tone. I sigh once again.

 

“Narul I'm not just saying that! I do care about what happens to your mom and your sister. And I care about you as well. I sadly have a one track mind. And if it's anything...I don't trust anyone, not even Allen.” I say in a dead panned tone.

 

“You can't trick me into telling you anything that you already know!” Narul says forcefully and I chuckle a bit.

 

“I'm not trying to get you to tell me anything...that would be Cross's job.” I say setting my hand onto the top of his head. Narul jumps back away from me.

 

“I can't trust anyone who doesn't trust my mother!” Narul says and I find myself continuing to sigh.

 

“Everything she has done has been to help all of you and to get my sister back. You believe everything that happened is all her fault!” He continues. I could only sigh more, he was right but that was only half true most of those things were said out of anger.

 

“Look your mother and I don't see eye to eye so I get anger quickly, I don't mean half the things I say.” I explain.

 

“NOT BUYING IT!” Narul screams at me before he takes off to the skies. Looks to me that today will be a sighing type of day. I stand to my feet and head back to Allen's infirmary room, for now I will just stay by his side for now until he wakes up.

 

 

**Allens POV-**

 

_I couldn't believe that this was happening! Tyki was finally on the outside of a barrier and unable to get to me. Road was also with him and they were following me while I walked within my own my mind. Tyki wasn't very happy and to be honest I didn't care in the least bit. Every once in a while they would try to attack the barrier to get it, but it would only fail._

 

“ _You know no matter how many times you attack it, it's not going to come down!” I say turning around and began to walk backwards._

 

“ _Road can't you take this thing down?!” Tyki shouted pointing his finger at Road and I only sighed shacking my head._

 

“ _Its not my barrier so no. Now stop asking!” She shouts smacking Tyki in the back of the head._

 

“ _Then who's is it! Lets go find them and take them out so I can get to my Allen!” Tyki shouts once again and I feel like wanting to hit him now._

 

“ _I don't know! As far as I know there is no one in the order who is a dream walker like all of us Noahs. You're shit out of luck for now Tyki!” Road shouted again and I smiled._

 

_She had a point there was no one in the order who could dream walk...unless SHE could but that would be a question for when I woke up. I wonder how angry everyone is going to be at me once I wake up. I think for a while I was going to avoid everyone until I got used to things. Everyone would be angry once again but I still needed a bit of time to myself._

 

_I was walking now my back facing to the two Noahs. I wasn't paying attention when suddenly a bright light caught my attention and I slowed down to a stop. I just stood there starring at it feeling some sort of warmth coursing through me. I wonder if this was the light to the afterlife, but my gut told me it was something else. Taking a deep breath I began to quicken my pace and rush towards the light._

 

“ _Allen stop! Do you really wish to die that much?!” Tyki yelled and I heard his heavy footsteps and knew he was running as well._

 

“ _Shut up this isn't to my death!” I shouted continuing to run towards the light._

 

“ _Fine but understand this by the time you reach your body it would be to late! We will already have taken them!” Tyki shouted._

 

_I was going to turn around to shout back at Tyki but I was engulfed in the light and everything faded into white. I was floating in something warm and I just wanted to wake up._

 

 

**Well there you go! So what is going to happen to Asarina and Allen?! You will find out soon!**

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Well here is the next chapter hope you all enjoy it!**

Chapter Thirty- All Over, All Over

 

Komui Pov

After that little dragon burned my desk. I lost my cool and took it out on Lavi. I just can't believe everything that went on. Allen has been in this coma for two weeks now. I feel bad for Asarina, and my sister. They have been avoiding each other and not to mention Asarina has just plainly been avoiding everyone. Was it something I did or was it the fact that it was something I did not do.

 

After thinking to much on this. I decided to go get the one thing that Allen did not have, some clothing. Since Kanda told me about what Narul had been doing to Allen, if he did wake up. I would want him to first get that dangerous drug out of his system and in order to that Asarina suggested he just walk around. That was the last time she talked to me and she seemed very upset about something.

 

Once I got to Allen's room, I opened his door and started to look for a few things. One was his big hooded jacket and the rest was just normal things. I know for a fact that this is the one thing he would want, and the only thing that would be able to hide him.

 

I desperately wanted to help Allen wake up but there was nothing I could do for him. I really wanted to show that blasted letter to Asarina, but thanks to Narul for burning my desk. I had to do something for her but Lvellie was straight forward in his letter. He means to take a harmless little girl and not care about her at all. Kalira was no monster and Asarina would put on a fight if he tried. That might destroy the order due to Narul would be on her side.

 

After gathering the items for Allen, I started on my to his room. Along the way I saw my sister with Lavi and they were walking holding hands. At this point I did not care, cause I had hurt my Lenalee. She got on my case for not telling her about my relationship with Asarina but the thing is there is no relationship. Of course she did not believe me and that only made her mad for me to deny it.

 

Kanda and Narul are still not on friendly terms at all. I hope for Allen's sake he wakes and can help sort this whole mess out. HE adores Asarina and Narul is his little eating buddy, Kalira is just just so adorable. It would kill him if he found out about the argument Kanda and Asarina had, plus the little spat Kanda had with the little dragon.

 

I enter Allen's Room and I'm shocked to what I find

**Third POV:**

 

 

_In the infirmary everything was quiet and for once Allen had been left alone while Kanda and Cross went after Asarina to see what she was up to. The letter Komui had received was defiantly disturbing and he wanted nothing more but for it not to happen. The head nurse stood by Allens bedside checking his vitals making sure everything was in its right place. It wasn’t until a commotion from outside the main door of the Order did she leave. First there was just a small twitch of his hand, then a heavy breath left his lips. For a bit things seemed to still back into what they were, but in that moment gray eyes slide open holding no trace of emotions._

 

 

**There you have chapter 30! Leave us a lovely review please! Thank you for reading!**


	31. Chapter 31

**So here is when it gets Exciting! Yay! Don't forget to review guys we love reviews!**

 

 

Chapter Thirty One- I Lay Quiet

 

**Tyki's POV-**

 

I couldn't believe that this was happening not only had Allen found out a way to break out of the barrier but he had also figured out how to create a new barrier and keep me out of it. I was to say the least very angered and when I get my hands on him I will punish him. I climbed from bed and fazed through the bedroom door heading down the hallway passing a few of the more human like akumas and walked into the dinning room where everyone minus our Lord Millennium. I took my seat next to Road and leaned back into the chair.

 

“Allen's getting smarter wouldn't you say Tyki?” Road asked in her sing song voice and it took everything I had not to hurt her.

 

“Now isn't the time Road dear.” I growled pressing the tips of my fingers to my forehead closing my eyes. It was simply just too early in the morning for this and it wasn't long until our Lord had came and taken his seat at the table.

 

“Road, Tyki.” He spoke and the both of us lifted our heads to stare at him waiting for him to continue. For once he wasn't in his fat ass disguise instead he was in his true form as Adam. If he was appearing to us in his true form then this was definitely something very highly important.

 

“Yes Lord Millennie?!” Road asked in her sing song voice and once again I just wanted to hurt the girl.

 

“I have a mission for the both of you.” He spoke slowly and darkly his hands clasping together as he rested his elbows onto the table.

 

“What kind of mission?” I ask eyeing him carefully knowing that this was going to be one of his more sinister plans.

 

“I want the both of you to go to Paris, France and to the Orders European Branch and kidnap my Asarina by any mean necessary.” He spoke and his voice gave no room for argument. I felt my eyes narrowing at the man.

 

“Oooo this sounds like fun right Tyki-Pon?!” Road asked but I only ignored her.

 

“If you're getting Asarina what about Allen?” I ask darkly and everyone fell silent.

 

“Your Allen is still in that coma of his and you needn't worry about him yet. For now just retrieve me Asarina and you will be rewarded.” He hisses, I find myself slowly stand from my chair a sick smirk dancing across my features.

 

“Then let games begin, come Road.” I say and began making my way out of the room a Tease appearing in my hand. This day was surely going to be fun. Road led me to her room and she made a door appear the both of us slipping out of it. We were standing under the Eiffel Tower, the sun just coming up over the horizon turning the sky slightly red as it did but soon the blue was breaking through. We headed down the sidewalk both of us gray skinned and ready for the fight that was about to happen.

 

The woods that would lead us to the Order were up ahead and I felt my smile widening as I just thought about smacking around some exorcists. Preferably Kanda, the man who stole my Allen away from me. I would gladly show him what happens you take what is mine. We were walking through the trees when voices erupted and we were first to stop and hide. Walking down the path heading towards us were Asarina, Kanda and that blasted Cross! Why couldn't that man stay dead like he was supposed to. Now the main thing would be to separate them all. It shouldn't be too hard with how I know Kanda will be like.

 

“Tyki how are we going to separate them?” Road whispered and I found my smirk returning to my face.

 

“Just watch and learn Road.” I say making myself vanish and appear some ways down the pathway, loving how my plan was going to unfold.

 

 

**Asarina's POV-**

 

“Now you listen to me, Narul. Do not do anything bad. Once I get back from town we are leaving at night fall.” I tell him sternly. “Do not get into any trouble.”

 

“I know that but why leave so early?” He asks and I can tell he does not want to leave.

 

“Truth me I don't want to leave either but in order to protect your sister. We have no choice but to leave.” I say and grab a light jacket. “Ill be back before lunch. Miranda should be here shortly or Lenalee.”

 

“Okay, but please cant we stay until Allen is awake.” He says with eyes full of tears.

 

“We will come back and visit him, but right now I have to make sure Kalira stays safe.” I say and leave my room.

 

I walk down the hallway, my heart in pain and my stomach in a knot. I did not want to leave but its the only thing I have left that I can do to protect my child. Even if her father is a psycho freak who is hell bent on taking over the world, I was not going to give her up. I carried her for nine months and she is half of me. I love her just as much as I love Narul but despite knowing the other half of her is him, I still can not give her up. A mother will do anything to protect her child. My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone scream let me go or else. I turn around to see Cross dragging Kanda with him.

 

“What do you think you are doing? I'm going into town for a few things.” I ask Cross and Kanda with my eyes perching into there very souls in a sense. I was still very pissed off at them and I did not want them to follow me.

 

“We are going into town as well.” Cross said, “Kanda needs new pants and we want to get something for Allen when he wakes up.”

 

“Cross, I do not need new pants and if I want to get something for Allen I would not have you around with me.” Kanda shouts and then Cross gives him a look.

 

“Look, I don't need you two bothering me.” I say in frustration, “I'm not going to be long at all.” I finsh and start to walk.

I knew they were still with me casue I could the whispering. I wish they would have just left and let me go alone. I know Cross has noticed my behavior and I don't want him finding out that I'm buying a train ticket to Rome. That would only make things worse, and as for the brute samurai, I could care less about him.

 

“Asarina, what is bothering?” Cross finally says and I stop in my track only to turn around.

 

“Nothing is bothering me at all. I just wanted to get a few things that's it.” I say and now I have to be careful what I say.

 

“Narul, has been very upset. HE told me that there was not much time left.” Kanda states, “What does he mean by that?”

 

“Like its any of your concern.” I yell back him, “Mind your own business.”

 

“Asarina, why are you really going into town? There is another motive and who did you make a phone call to the other day?” Cross says and I have to lie or he might figure out.

 

“Its none of your concern who I called. Its my line of work and that's all it was.” I scream at him.

 

“YOU called your father, Why would you call him.” Cross yells back.

 

“wait, she called her father. How do you know that?” Kanda asks.

 

“Its the only person she would call if she felt threatened by anyone.” Cross states.

 

“Who says I talked to him. Maybe I called to get a mission.” I say back and I wonder how long I can keep this argument up.

 

 

 

**Road's POV-**

 

Tyki was really annoying me, first it was ordering me around in the Ark and now it was pulling me into our hiding spot as we watched down this pathway. I peered out slightly to see that it was Asarina, Cross and Kanda. They were arguing, finally...something interesting. At the same time I was slightly confused.

 

“Hey Tyki what's so bad about a phone call? I don't understand why they would argue over something so trivial.” I say allowing myself to float up into the air and just watch as this argument unfolded.

 

“I don't know Road.” He said and the three continued to argue. To me it was so annoying to argue.

 

“Of course you don't know, all that's on your mind is getting your precious little Allen!” I say puffing my cheeks out at him, but he only smirked at me.

 

“Shut up Road we have a mission to accomplish.” He said and Ooooo did I want to kill him. The more I was around him the more I wanted to hurt him he was being so mean.

 

“So what do you have in mind Tyki? How are we going to get Asarina?” I ask and I watch as his trademark smirk appears on his face.

 

“That will be easy to do.” He says and I feel a tinge of fear course through me.

 

“How are we going to separate them?” I then ask and his smirk only widens and I know it wasn't going to be good for the three we were about to go against.

 

“Watch and learn Road.” He says and disappears, I saw he vanished a ways down the path directly in view of Asarina, Cross and Kanda. He began to walk towards them and I became intrigued as I floated into the air above them so I could watch. My mouth hangs open when Tyki walks directly through the middle of them tipping his hat off to them as he passes them.

 

“A good day to take my shounen now isn't it?” He says and heads down the path disappearing through a line of trees.

 

“TYKI GET BACK HERE!” Kanda yells and he immediately runs after Tyki.

 

“Kanda don't be an idiot!” Asarina then yells both of them facing where Tyki and that samurai disappeared down.

 

“Kanda no it's a trap!” Cross yells and soon my own smirk appears on my face as I floated down till I was behind the two. Summoning my candles they completely surround the two. They slowly turn to face me.

 

“You don't have Mother's Fury do you?” Cross asks pulling out his gun as he readied himself to face me.

 

“Sadly...i don't see a reason to to carry it all the time.” Asarina answers him and my smirk widens as I make the tips of the candles turn towards them ready to stab them.

 

“Well, this certainly is much more fun than getting bossed around by Tyki-Pon!” I laugh my high shrill laugh, for once we had the upper hand. Cross aims his gun at me finger on the trigger as he pulls Asarina to behind him. This is when I make my attack.

 

 

**Kanda's POV-**

 

I chased after Tyki following him through the woods. Like hell I was going to allow him to get anywhere near my Moyashi! I know I probably shouldn't have left Cross and Asarina, but they don't understand how important Allen is to me and how I will do anything to ensure that he stays safe. Tyki kept on going until he came to the bottom of the cliff that would lead him up to the Order. I came to a stop my eyes slitting into a hateful glare as I pulled Mugen from its sheath.

 

“You've come to the end of the line Noah!” I growl out at him.

 

“Oh really now young samurai. How do you know that you haven't lost Allen already? I could have someone else up there as we speak.” Tyki says to me a smirk dancing on his face. The face I want to run my sword through.

 

“YOU DIE HERE FILTH!” I yell and I run towards him.

 

 

**Allen's POV-**

 

My first view of anything was the plain white ceiling of the infirmary my mind was fuzzy and I couldn't remember how or why I was here. Sitting up I bring my hand up to my head and I just hold it there. I had a sheering headache and it was probably because I had run towards that light and rushed myself to waking up. Everything was bright and I felt like I was floating in a large pool of water.

 

“Oh! You're awake!” I look up to see Komui standing there in the doorway. He looked relieved a bit and I could only stare.

 

“Hey.” I say my voice sounded hoarse and it was probably from not using it.

 

“How are you feeling?” Komui asked walking over and laid my exorcist jacket onto the infirmary bed.

 

“I have a headache and I feel like I'm water logged.” I answer lifting my head up as much as I could without the help of my hand but still found myself slightly tilted.

 

“That's normal after being in a coma for almost two weeks.” Komui explained and I groaned bringing my arms up and resting them onto my knees.

 

“What the fuck?! What the hell did I do? Fight a Level Four Akuma?!” I nearly shout out and I watch Komui's face turn to worry.

 

“You don't remember?” Komui asks and I shack my head slowly no.

 

“You nearly succeeded in committing suicide by cutting your wrists length wise.” He explains slowly and I look to my arms and freeze. He was right my arms were bandaged up. I reminded myself to take slow even breaths so I wouldn't hyper ventilate myself.

 

“Kanda's going to be furious.” I groan but sigh grabbing my exorcist jacket. Both of our heads turn to the window when we hear a loud commotion coming from outside.

 

“I figured you'd want this as to stay hidden. Now I need to go check up on a commotion that is going on. You're free to go, but keep in mind you will have a check up later tonight from the head nurse.” Komui says before turning and leaving. I slip from the bed and quickly pull the jacket on glad that I was at least wearing pajama pants. I was slightly wobbly and my head hurt even more when I was standing but I ignored it. I pulled the hood over my head and slowly made my way into the hallway keeping close to the wall. People were running past me heading towards the main gate and all I wanted to do was get back to my room and change into some fresh clothes and put on one of my long sleeved shirts.

 

Me and Kanda's room hadn't changed much, actually it was a bit dusty from the last time I remembered. It made me wander if Kanda spent any time in here. I went over to my dresser and pulled out a black long sleeved shirt and black sweats going into the bathroom and slowly changing. My headache had dulled out and now my body just ached from not using it for nearly two weeks, once I was changed I made my way out onto the balcony and saw Narul attacking Cross and Kanda. I wonder what they did to piss him off. Narul was growling loudly and they were trying to get around him to inside. Well it looked to me that Kanda was trying to get around him. Shrugging I went back into the room and put the jacket back on along with the hood before heading out into the hallway and up towards the cafeteria. I was on the opposite side of the hallway now and everything was just so quiet. I was entering the fourth floor when I heard loud yells and a crash from downstairs, peering over the ledge of the railing I saw Kanda and Cross barely dodge around a wall of fire.

 

“You're on your own Cross I need to go check on Allen!” Kanda yelled and I felt a smirk appear on my face. I was going to let him freak out for a little bit.

 

“GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE KANDA!” I heard Narul roar and I only shook my head before continuing on into the cafeteria where barely anyone was.

 

“Hey Jerry.” I smile walking up to where he took our orders.

 

“Allen?! Oh thank the heavens you have awoken! What would you like dear?” He asked and I placed in my very small order of just dango's.

 

“Could you do me a favor and not tell anyone that I'm awake? I want to stay hidden for a little while.” I explain and Jerry gave his word as he handed me my food. I took a seat somewhere in the very back so I wouldn't be noticed much.

 

“ALLENS GONE!!!!! WHERE IS HE?! WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HIM?!” And there it was Kanda's voice of freaking out. I quickly ate my food and sighed as he came running in questioning people if they had seen me before running out again. I sigh and walk back to Jerry's window and hand him my empty plate.

 

“You know you had everyone pretty worried about you.” He said with a soft smile.

 

“I know and trust me when I say I won't be doing what I did ever again. Not knowing things is pretty scary to be honest.” I explain standing there looking at me feet.

 

“I bet it is, if you ever need someone to talk you can always come to me.” He says and I only find myself nodding my head. For some reason this headache wouldn't go away and I didn't feel like myself. I just felt like not wanting to care about anything.

 

“Well I'm going to go find Komui so I can find out what all is going on.” I say waving one last time at Jerry then walked off. I lift my hand up and pull down my hood a bit as I am passing Lenalee and Lavi.

 

“I can't believe this Lavi first that happens and now Allen is missing! How could this happen?!” I hear Lenalee yell and all I want to do is hurry away.

 

“It'll be fine Lenalee, we'll find him and for now lets leave the little dragon alone. You don't want to get in his way right now.” I hear Lavi answer and I take off down the hallway heading up the stairs. I needed to talk to Komui again so I could find out what was happening. I was passing by the dojo and happened to see Narul outside. Stopping I watch as he's dumping what looked like Cross's alcohol all over the tree. Next thing I knew he blew fire from his mouth and Kanda's favorite tree went up in flames. Whatever those two did they better think up of something fast to patch things up with the little guy because the last thing I'm doing is helping them out. Blowing a quick breath from my nose I begin walking again my hands stuffed into my pockets. Nothing was making any sense and I was surprised that Asarina wasn't stepping in yet, maybe she didn't know what he was doing yet. She was probably with Kalira. Coming to the office door I just allowed myself in and headed to the couch sitting down. For some reason Komui now looked like shit.

 

“Are you okay?” I asked sitting there with my hands laying in my lap.

 

“Define okay.” He slightly snapped and I merely tilted my head to the side just starring at him.

 

“Would it explain why Asarina isn't helping Kanda or Cross with Narul attacking them?” I asked and I watched as he slowly sighed closing his eyes. I felt a pang of fear rush through me not liking the way he looked.

 

“Allen this is going to be hard to explain.” He said and I began to hold my breath.

 

“What do you mean? Where is Asarina?” I ask and he looks up at me with such sad eyes.

 

“Komui?” I ask my eyes widening.

 

“Tyki and Road appeared in front of Cross, Kanda and Asarina today while they were heading to town. Cross and Kanda had decided to accompany Ms. Asarina.” Komui began to explain, I was praying he wasn't going to say what I thought he was going to say.

 

“Asarina didn't have her anti akuma weapon and in the end she was taken by them.” Komui explained and I felt my heart drop into my stomach as everything froze. I slowly stood to my feet trying to process the information.

 

“What do you mean she was taken?!” I nearly screamed and I watch Komui cringe.

 

“Allen please calm down. If you want to know more you're going to have to speak to Kanda or Cross to get what happened.” Komui said but I was only half way listening to him now.

 

“GOD DAMN IT!” I scream out and land a punch onto the back of the couch my fist going through it.

 

“Allen....” Komui's voice sounded weak and pathetic now.

 

“Where are they?!” I ask turning my head sharply back at Komui watching him jump. He never got to answer.

 

“You know what never mind I know where Cross at least is!” I snap and yank my fist from the couch and rushed out one destination in mind...Cross's room. I stormed down the hallway my hands clenched tightly into fists. Walking down the hallway I had only one thing in mind, beating the crap out of Cross and Kanda for loosing Asarina! As I turned down the hall of where Cross's room would be I saw Narul pacing back and fourth in front of a closed closet.

 

“You can't stay in there forever you know!” He shouted at the door slightly flying into the air.

 

“Yes I can you deranged dragon!” I heard Kanda yell from inside the closet and I smirked standing there with my arms crossed watching.

 

“What are you looking at?!” Narul suddenly snarled at me and I sighed.

 

“Nothing.” I say making my voice deeper so he wouldn't recognize me and I hurried along past him down the hallway.

 

“Yea you better keep walking!” I heard Narul shout. I turned a corner and went straight for Cross's room banging my fist onto the door.

 

“Let me in Cross!” I shout at the door.

 

“Is the dragon out there?!” Cross shouted back and I sighed.

 

“No.” I hiss and was suddenly dragged into the room and I watch as he baricades his door. I stand there waiting for him to turn around. The moment he did though I lurched forward and punched him across the face.

 

“How could you loose Asarina?!” I asked now standing there with my arms crossed again.

 

“Allen! You're awake that's great. And it's not solely my fault! Kanda fell for a trap against Tyki!” Cross tried to save his ass and I raised my eyebrow at him.

 

“You're to blame to Shishou!” I snap taking a seat onto his bed and crossing my legs.

 

“Look there was not much we could to do! They out numbered us well, Road out numbered me with Akuma that she had brought with her. If Kanda hadn't gone after Tyki I would have been fine and most likely Asarina wouldn't have been taken!” Cross explains and I only sigh.

 

“Shishou why am I feeling like not giving a shit about anything?” I ask decidng to change the subject for now.

 

“That's from Narul injecting four bottles worth of Vex-34 into you.” He answers taking a seat in a chair by the door.

 

“What is Vex-34?” I then ask tilting my head to the side.

 

“It's an emotion inhibitor and you're past the overdose level for it, so you might experience some side effects.” He explains and I groan placing my face into my hand. Suddenly there was a bang on the door and all the barricades came undone, Kanda managing to get into the room shutting the door quickly behind me and locking it. He only had one shoe on. I raised my eye brow again and watched.

 

“Narul?” Cross asks quickly standing and began fixing the barricade.

 

“You have no idea....hey who's the new finder?” Kanda asked once he looked to me and I felt my eyes narrowing at him in anger.

 

“Asshole.” I hiss and I watched as his eyes widen in realization.

 

“Allen!” He shouted and suddenly I was tackled being hugged onto. I just laid there waiting for it to be over.

 

“You're an idiot!” I shout and he was my next victim to get punched in the face.

 

“How could you fall for a simple trap like that?! There would have been no way of him getting to me and you should have known that!” I shout at him.

 

“I'm sorry Allen I know I screwed up. Can you please calm down?” He asked and I let out an agravated yell.

 

“I am calm! I should be pissed but I'm not and I hate it!” I shout and Kanda only wraps his arms around me.

 

“Everything is alright Allen.” He says kissing my cheek and I slowly calm down again as I wrap my arms around him.

 

“I'm just so happy that I have you near me again! You have no idea what I've been going through since I fell into that coma. What all Tyki did to me.” I whisper and Kanda only shushes me.

 

“You can tell me all about it later okay?” He asks and I only nod my head closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, taking in his scent. We all freeze and stare at the door when there is a sudden bang on it.

 

“Who is it?” Cross asks and I roll my eyes, these two were acting so weird.

 

“I'm hungry and can't move.” Came Naruls voice and I sigh.

 

“Not falling for it.” Kanda says and I smack him in the arm he only shrugs at me.

 

“I mean it can one of you carry me to the cafeteria?” He asked and neither of the two in the room make a move to go help the little dragon.

 

“You two suck.” I say and open the door to see Narul laying on the ground. Picking him up into my arms I head down the hallway hearing the door slam behind me and I roll me eyes.

 

“It's good to see you awake Allen, looks like my idea worked!” Narul said all happily and I smiled.

 

“Yea I guess it did but your idea makes me act funny.” I explain and he gives me a sheepish smile.

 

“I'm sorry.” He apologizes and I just shrug. We walk in silence for a while and I find myself continuously sighing a lot.

 

“What would you have done if Cross or Kanda had decided to carry you to the cafeteria?” I asked entering the cafeteria and stood in line. It was the lunch rush and everyone was getting food.

 

“I would have bit onto them!” He said happily and I chuckled.

 

“Yup that definitely sounds like you.” I say and sighed.

 

“I'm sorry about your mom Narul.” I then say after a period of silence. I was surprised to see Cross and Kanda come into the cafeteria after a while and take a seat where Lenalee and Lavi were. Once we reached the ordering window I let Narul take over with ordering his food. We were told he'd deliver it to our table once it was done and we went over to the table where I laid Narul onto the cool surface.

 

“It's good to see you awake again Allen.” Lenalee says with a smile of her face.

 

“I'm happy to be awake again.” I say back and we all slowly fall into conversation with the occasionaly Narul blowing fire at Kanda and Cross. I kept to myself watching them and it was towards the end of meal time when Kanda took me by the arm and led me away. We went back to our room and we laid on the bed me in his arms. I proceeded to tell him everything that had happened in my head and how Tyki had told somewhat of what their plans were. I told him how I wished I was awake in time so I could have stopped Asarina from leaving.

 

“I never thought I was ever going to get passed that barrier in my head Kanda....I thought I was going to be trapped there forever.” I told him and he only held onto me tightly.

 

“Everything is okay now Allen, you're safe with me.” He whispered and continuously would kiss my cheek and I would just lie there. I hope we found Asarina soon and I hoped things would all go back to normal.

 

 

**Chapter 31! Yay we are getting closer and closer to the end of this part. We have so much planned for you guys with this story series. We hope you guys stick with us to the very end!**

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Allen's POV-**

 

I was in a foul mood, simple as that! It had been a good week since I have woken up and since Asarina had been kidnapped by the Noah's. I was still having issues with showing my emotions and I have random spurs of craziness come out. Not to mention I get into odd moods of wanting to have sex with Kanda. But that wasn't why I was in a foul mood, actually it was because of our little dragon friend. I understand and all that he is mad and everything but could he at least give it a break with attacking Cross and Kanda all the damn time?! Here I was sitting in the infirmary with my boyfriend waiting as the Head Nurse put some burn ointment onto his back.

 

“There that should take care of it, try not to lay on your back for a good week until this heals up.” She told him and he only nodded. Now you're probably wandering how he got that burn, well I'll tell you....

 

Narul.

 

I was trying to spend a little quality time with my boyfriend outside in woods but of course we were suddenly interrupted by Narul swooping down out of no where and blowing fire at him. I was trying to seek sympathetic but this was getting out of hand and I couldn't ever get a word in with Kanda because something would happen. Narul would even go far as in sneaking into our room and causing mayhem! Here I was now helping Kanda down the hallway making sure I was careful of his back. We were walking in silence and I guess more bad luck was to happen because out of no where Cross came running up grabbing Kanda by his arm and dragging him away. Not long after they vanished Narul went flying by snarling at them to stop running away.

 

“I've had it!” I shouted out loud finally and I stormed away. I tried going back to our room but I only paced in the room back and fourth. It was close to dinner but I was anything but hungry. Finally making a decision I left the room. It didn't take me long to reach the room I wanted to go to and I knocked rapidly on it. I looked down to the floor breathing heavily trying to keep myself.

 

“Allen?!” Lenalee asked once she opened the door and I lost it the moment I saw her. The tears broke through and I moved forward and hugged onto my friend.

 

“Oh Allen....Lavi come help me!” She shouted into the room and I heard a rustling before the both of them helped me to the bed.

 

“What happened buddy?” Lavi asked both of them taking a seat next to me.

 

“I am so tired of Narul always going after Kanda and Cross! Every time I try to go and talk to either of them Narul will come out of nowhere and chase them away or hurt them! I mean a few days ago he put Cross into the infirmary for the night after tripping him down a set of stairs and now I had just gotten Kanda done at the infirmary after he got burned, but out of no where Cross came up and took him away right as Narul was chasing them!” I began explain burying my face into my hands unable to stop the sobs that came out.

 

“I just want my life back with Kanda! I want to spend time with him and talk to him because I feel so alone and I don't know what to do! I'm afraid I might start cutting again.” I cried even harder feeling Lenalee's arms wrapped around me.

 

“Have you tried talking to Narul?” Lenalee asked and I nodded my head.

 

“Yea once but after he agreed to stop at least bothering Kanda he went after him. I don't know what else to do! I'm loosing my mind!” I cried out and after that I couldn't stop.

 

 

**Lenalee pov-**

 

I just could not believe everything that Allen had just told Lavi and me. No wonder his moods have been out of whack but the fact that Narul has gone on with torturing Kanda and Cross, the two people Allen wanted to talk to. I can see why the little dragon was upset but now he has gone way to far.

 

Allen and I were now looking for the three of them. I wish it was easier to listen for their screams but we could not hear any, which means it was any ones guess as to where they could be. I was about to loose it when, I realized that they might be outside.

 

“Lenalee, can we just forget about this.” Allen says as he is being pulled by me. “Its really no big deal.”

 

“Allen, it is a big deal. Narul needs to give them a break and they need to understand why your are feeling alone.” I snap back trying to calm but its not working.

 

“Just promise me you will not go all mean and evil.” Was Allen's only request.

 

“I promise I will not fly off the handle.” I say with my usual smile as we headed out side to the fountain, Narul's favorite spot and I as we approached, I could hear voices.

 

“Well, move already.” I can hear a voice yelling, and by the tone it was Narul.

 

“Not a chance you medium sized reptile.” Another voice said and it was probably Kanda who said it.

 

“Kanda, we really dont want him to get even more pissed than he already is.” It had to be Cross saying that.

 

As I look around the corner, I saw Kanda and Cross sitting in the fountain while Narul was sitting on the stone bench in one of his bigger forms. This was a stand off and I was not going to stand for it at all. I find three large stones and chuck them at the three idiots.

 

“What in the world is going on.” I scream and they all look at me.

 

“What do you think you are doing? Throwing stones at my head.” Narul yelled back and his eyes were full of hate and yet sadness.

 

“Cross do you know how much pain Allen is in? You do realize that you are the only one he tell things to.” I scream at cross and he just shakes his head.

 

“Don't be so hard on him.” Kanda yells back.

 

“As for you, Kanda. Allen wants your company more than ever and yet you seem to be always preoccupied by things.” I yell back.

 

“You two cause more trouble and whats worse is, You don't care about things.” Narul says growling.

 

“You are one to talk, you fire breathing monster.” I say to him in an angry tone.

 

“What did I do?” He say to me.

 

“Every time Allen wants to talk to them you have to show up and do something to them. YOU are being unfair and mean.” I say to him calmly as possible.

 

“Unfair? Is it fair that I lost my mom and now I'm the only one who can protect my sister. Is it fair?” he yells at me.

 

“You do realize that most of us have lost someone to the Noah's or the akuma.” I tell him in a frustrated tone, but im trying to keep cool. He is after all at 10 year old child

 

“No one understands what I'm going through or even seems to care. I want my mom and I want her now.” He screams.

 

“That's it. You know all of us have put up with this for far to long. You need to understand we do care but you dont seem to want to do anything but torture the people who you feel responsible for what happened.” I scram at him.

 

“You dont understand, it is their fault. If Kanda did not leave and Cross had been more alert. My mom would still be here.” He yells.

 

“You know what, none of us are going to talk to you at all and forget any of us helping find your mother.” I scream and then he flew off.

 

Kanda and Cross climb out of the fountain, and look at me all funny. Even Allen gives me a weird look. “What did I do” I ask them.

 

“Lenalee you just probably made Narul cry.” Cross say in an empty tone.

 

“You told him we were never going to talk to him and that none of would help him find Asarina.” Allen says in anger.

 

“NO, I did not want to say that to him at all. I just got mad at him.” I say and in the distance I heard glass breaking.

 

“Guys,we are under attack.” Lavi says out of breath and scared a little. “We have no clue by who but to make matter worse Lvellie, is here as well.”

 

“Let's go.” Cross says and we all follow my boyfriend.

 

I knew where we were heading to, my brothers office but before we could even get there we are stop by people wear black clothing and seeing some tall guy with long black hair, wearing the same black outfit but only difference was he had a golden dragon on his back. This guy was now pointing a sword at Lvellie's neck.

 

Looking around I notice Cross was hesitating and sweating up a storm, Kanda looked pissed, cause everyone knows if Lvellie was to die he was going to do it, Lavi looked as if he was going to shit himself, I was unsure of what happened to my brother and Allen look as if he had stars in his eyes.

 

“All areas are secured, commander.” A male voice said.

 

“Good now we can get to business.” The man said. “This building is under my control.”

 

Shaun Pov.

 

I could not believe this was happening and this was the last thing I wanted to do, but my daughter never showed up. This was the only way to make sure they were safe but with this ass hole being here, it did not look safe.

 

“Now, where is my daughter.” I yell at Levellie while my sword is pointed to his neck.

 

“I have no clue what you are referring to Shaun Chi.” He say nervously, “You have not right to take over this facility.”

 

“You think I'm clueless?” I say and put my sword closer to his throat. “I'm going to ask this one more time. WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER.”

 

“I swear I have no clue about anything.” he says with what little courage he has left, “Now please leave.”

 

“YOU ARE ONE SCARED LITTLE BASTARD.” I yell at him, “You better tell me where she is or so help me, I will slice your head off in on stroke.”

 

“No, dont do it.” I hear a female voice screams from behind.

 

I turn around to see some pony tailed samurai with a sword drawn coming at me. I move quickly grabbing his wrist and squeezed it until his weapon dropped. Then I threw him back to the group and pulled out my other sword which I pointed at him.

 

“Stay out this boy, unless you want to be the first one to die.” I say to him.

 

“You better listen, Kanda.” I herd Cross whisper to him. Out of everyone here, Cross would be the one to just stand back and stay out of the way.

 

“I don't care what happens to me. This bastard has taken over our home and you are doing nothing General Cross.” This boy yells.

 

“I would listen to your elders before you seriously get hurt.” I say in strict tone of voice.

 

“Kanda, IM Horny.” This other boy with white hair says very loud and is now hugging the samurai.

 

Shaking my head, I turn my attention to the ass hole and he is now scared. I don't like being toyed with, especially when it comes to my family. Asarina is my only child and I was not going to let him harm her in any kind of way.

“Please, Mr. Chi, you need to leave. I have work to do.” Lvellie say and know what he is here for, more importantly who he is here for.

 

“I think this will change your mind as to why you will be leaving.” I say and pull out an sealed envelope, “Its from you boss, who I saw while in Rome.”

 

His hands shaking as he took it, opened it and began to read it to himself. I could tell by his face that he was not thrilled. Finally his hands crushed the piece paper and gave me the look of defeat.

 

“Fine you win this round.” He tells me and his guards stand down.

 

“Let him and his dogs follow. This building is under my control until he leaves the building and is in town at the train station.” I say to my men around me and into my mic.

 

“You have not seen the last of me.” Was his final words before he disappeared down the stairs.

 

“You have not changes a bit, Shuan.” Cross says with a smile and everyone looks at him all funny like.

 

“Neither have you, Cross. You still reek of alcohol.” I say back to him.

 

“You should have killed that bastard.” The boy with the white hair says. “By the way, My name is Allen.”

 

“Well, you seem to be a lively one.” I say and put my swords away. That is when I hear the sound of a very fast flying animal. I reach up and grabbed its tail.

 

“Let me get that bastard who wants to take my sister, let me at him. I will never apologize to Cross or Kanda. They deserve what they got for letting my mom get taken away.” The little dragon say and then he sniffs the air and finally opens his eyes to see me smiling. “Hi grandpa.”

 

'That's Asarina's dad.” This Allen boy yells and Narul only gives me sad eyes

 

“How have you been? You stay out of trouble you flying bag of mischief.” I say to him and all he does look innocent, but I know he was up to no good.

 

Upon everyone hearing his last words they all stair in fear, except for Allen. My grandson just said his mother was taken away. Plus, he had been doing things to Cross and this Kanda person, who I have come to believe is the punk who tires to attack me. Looking at Cross he did seem to be sweating a lot. I let go of Narul who takes off back the way he came, which means he is with my granddaughter.

 

“Cross, you better explain, starting now.” I say in an unfriendly tone.

 

“It's Narul, you how he likes to tell stories.” Cross says nervously and backs up slowly, then he gabs Kanda.

 

“Then, if it is just a story. WHY ARE YOU USING SOMEONE FOR A SHIELD.” I say loudly.

 

“Cause it is not a story.” Allen says cheerfully and giggles.

 

“Moyashi, you are going to get us killed.” Kanda says in an angry tone with him.

 

“So, what you are saying is that you played a part in this so called story?” I ask him and his expression does not change. This fella shows no fear, but his eyes reveal all.

 

“He was involved and trust me it was horrible as to how it happened.” Allen says and I wonder if he has been smoking anything.

 

“Cross, where is my daughter and stop trying to lie to me.” I tell him straight and to the point.

 

“It was an accident, this idiot left me.” Cross says and points to the guy in front of him.

 

“How dare you blame this all me. I went to protect Allen, and how was I supossed to know that it was trap to separate us.” Kanda yells back.

 

“Yeah but you should have known that Tyki would have to be crazy to try to take me from the order. Besides after the argument you two had, you would have cared less.” Allen yelled at him, and I begin to wonder why his moods have suddenly changes so quickly.

 

“Allen, im going to get you for that last comment, cause you sound just like that lizard.” He screams back.

 

“Okay. First off, that lizard is my grandson and will not tolerate him being called that.” I say and pull Allen in front of me and lifted his head so our eyes could meet. “Please tell me, how many injections of vex34 have you had?”

 

“What is vex34? It sounds fun.” Allen says all chipper again and that only confirms that he has had one to many dosages.

 

“Narul gave it him while he was in a comma.” Cross says, “Why we have a talk, just the two of us.”

 

“OF course Cross and at least this way I will have no interruptions. As for you,” I say pointing at Kanda. “You will learn the proper way to address a superior. Ling, give me some paper and my quill.”

 

I stood there writing what I call I service document for Kanda. The document stated that if I ever needed his services he would have to do what ever it was and no questions asked. This was to ensure that he would never again fall for any stupid tricks or anything like this again, but then again I still dont have anything for him to do.

 

“Alright, Samurai, I want you to read this and make sure you understand it. Then you will sign it and wait for my call.” I say and then he steps forward and takes the paper.

 

“This makes no sense,” He say and looks at me. “I have to wait for a call to begin the contract. I wont do it.”

 

“Kanda you should do it. It might be fun.” Allen says and throws his hands up in the air.

 

“Allen, I could leave and go on a suicide mission and never come back.” Kanda says.

 

“You owe me for one, leaving cross to fight off akuma and protect my daugther without back up and the second for trying to attack me and three interfering with matters that do not concern you.” I tell him sternly, “If you refuse, it is your life that will be taken.”

 

“Alright.” He says with the look of defeat in his eyes and signs the contract, then hands it back to me. “I will await for your orders.”

 

“Kanda, I want you inside me now.” Allen screams at the top of his lungs.

 

“AS for you, open your mouth” I sat and grab Allen, who has his mouth opened, I pull a vile of purple liquid from my pocket and pour it down his throat, “This will help you get your emotions back. In about three hours, you will be your normal self again.”

 

“So, Shaun, where would like to talk?” Cross asks and he is still shaky.

 

“How about we to see my granddaughter. I can not believe the god father got to hold her before I could.” I laugh out loud, “You are one ahead of on a few things.”

 

“True but don't expect Narul to be chipper about me being there.” Cross says in a nervous tone.

 

“Don't worry about him. Besides I would to his input on this subject as to why my daughter came to be here in the first place.” I say as cross jesters me to follow him up the hallway where the little fireball went.

 

After walking to down the hallway, we came to a room and I was introduced to Miranda, the lovely lady who was taking care of Kalira. I just stood there, looking at how much she looked liked my Asarina. Narul was sleeping next to her and this had taken a toll on him for sure. Miranda left the room after Cross whispered something to her. Then we sat down and Cross began to explain the whole story of why my daughter came her and the events that followed.

 


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33- Some Things You Lose

 

**Narul pov-**

 

I hate life, cause it is unfair and mean. I lost my mom and almost lost my sister, but grandpa showed up and stopped Lvellie from taking her. I was alone and all I wanted was my mom. She was always there to comfort me and help me with my problems, but she was taken from me and my sister. Those dammed Noah's, why did they have to ruin my world.

 

I'm left think about the fun times I had with mom. The flying around the could and traveling to different locations. The people we tracked down and killed. I even miss her scolding me and yelling at me not to do the things. Why did Kanda and Cross have to be so weak and stupid?

 

Most of my time is spent I the upper level catacombs of the order. I found a nice big space, and I call in my cave. It has lots of food, a few blankets, and a few pieces of my moms dirty shirts. Sometimes I can hear Allen or Lenalee calling for me to come out of hiding and eat, but I ignore them cause of what she said, it burns inside me, like a forest fire gone out of control.

 

I want someone to talk to but I really don't know who? Howard left for a bit, which it had been three days now. I cant to Lenalee or Allen, and I'm sure Kanda and Cross will run if approach them. Jerry was busy cooking and I did not feel like bothering him while he is working. I know Miranda said I could talk to her but she has enough on her plate dealing with Kalira. I could always call grandpa but that would mean going to Komui's office.

 

Maybe Komui would listen to what I have to say. Everyone is talking about how he has locked himself in his office doing paper work. Maybe he feels the same why I do. He did like my mom but I got in the way. He is a nice guy but unlike most of the guys who liked mom, he actually took notice of me. It was worth a try. At that moment, I flew through the air vents, which I had mapped out, and found one that lead to his office. I listen to make sure he is alone but Lenalee is in there with him. I deiced to listen in on there conversation.

 

“Brother, you have to get some rest.” She screams at him and pounds her fits on to his desk.

 

“Lenalee, I'm fine.” He tells her, “I just have to get this done.”

 

“You never ever worried about paper work, until recently.” She says and her arm are now folded across her chest.

 

“Please, just leave me to my work.” He tells her and continues to work.

 

“Fine, I give up. You are more stubborn than that silly dragon.” She says and storms out of his office.

 

I quietly open the vent and then re-close it. As I fly around to land I notice that Komui had pulled out a picture. I gently land on his shoulder and see the picture. It was my mom holding Kalira and me hovering above them by the fountain.

 

“When did you take this?” I ask and then Komui jumps in his chair which cause me to fly and land on the table.

 

“When did and how did you get into my office.” Was his first question.

 

“Through the air vents.” I say to him. “Now about the picture.”

 

“I took not too long after your mom got Kalira back. You were not being cooperative cause you flew around to much. After 20 attempts, I finally go this one.” He says in a nervous laughter but after everything I had put him though, I could not blame him.

 

“If you want me to leave, I will.” I tell him sadly and drop my wings. Then I feel I pat on head.

 

“You are going through a ruff time. I know how you feel. I miss her to.” He replies sadly.

 

“I just want her back and Lenalee said no one was going to help me find her.” I say and i'm trying not to cry.

 

“She has no authority to make decisions on that subject. That is mine and mine alone.” He calmly tells me.

 

“So, are you going to bring her back?” I ask him.

 

“To be honest, I hope so. There is only so much I can do here, and so much the other branches can do. The truth is she might have to escape and contact us.” He sadly says.

 

“Only so much you can do. There has to be a way to find them.” I say still holding back the tears.

 

“Unlike us, you have a rather impressive sense of smell.” He say in a laughing tone. “Its hard to track something when you have idea where to begin.”

 

“I'm sorry for all the things I did to you.” I tell him and he gives me this weird look. “Most guys who like my mom pay no attention to me but you did.”

 

“You are a hand full and get on my nerves but that does not mean I hate you.” He tells me and pats my head again. “I love your mom very much but I also have to love you and Kalira. You two are very precious to her and there for precious to me.”

 

“Well, I did not know you felt that way.” I say to him in an awkward tone.

 

“I will do everything in my power to get her back.” He tells me and goes over to open the window. “Howard Link should be back any minute. Why don't you go and see if he has any news.”

 

“Okay but for the record, I hope when this is over and mom comes back. Maybe you two will be together and I can call you dad.” I say and fly to the window.

 

“Why would you hope that?” He questions.

 

“Cause if I have never had a dad and you seem to be the perfect father figure for me and my baby sister.” I say and take to the sky to find Howard.

 

I fly above the sky and see Howard approaching. I dive down and sit on his shoulder. He looks like a lion that did not sleep well at all.

 

“If you are wondering about any information on the ark. I have nothing.” He says and my wings droop.

 

“Komui, said that there is so much everyone in the order can do.” I say sadly.

 

“Sometimes my winged friend you have to take matters into your own hands and do what you feel is right.” He tells me calmly and I just stare at him blankly.

 

“What do you mean?” I ask him and decide to fly next to him.

 

“Well, sometimes we have to follow what are heart tells us to do and not what our mind says.” He continues, “Say for instance I fell in love with someone, my heart says to go tell what I feel but my mind says dont cause I might get hurt. I would choose to follow my heart cause at least I tried.”

 

“So, what you are saying is that our mind can give us false information?” I ask casue im not quite understanding this.

 

“In other words trust what you feel and not what you thank” He tells me with a smile.

 

“Thank you, that makes sense. Good bye Howard.” I say as I fly back to the order.

 

“Your welcome.” I hear him yell in the distance.

 

I know what I have to do. Komui said the order can not track things like I can and Howard said to follow what you feel. I'm going to find the ark and I will do it on my own, no matter who long it takes. I know I can find it and bring my mom back. I head to my cave to gather somethings. I grab a bag form my moms room, pack a blanket, so drats and some food. Then next thing I do is write a letter to everyone and I have decided to leave it on Lenalee's door. After writing it, I wait for night fall , I place it on her door, and then fly off into the night. I dont want to leave but I have no choice. This was my solo mission, to find my mom and bring my family together.

 

Lavi pov.

 

The next morning I was on my to eat some breakfast. Lenalee should be there by now but I always cheeck to see. Today, however if find a letter on her door fastened by a drat. I grab the letter and began to read it. I stop half way and run to the cafeteria. Once inside I notice everyone sitting down.

 

“Lavi, are you alright.” Cross asked and now everyone looks at me.

 

“No, listen to this.” I say and begint o read the letter. “Dear everyone, I am sorry it has come down to this but I am the only on who can do this. I will find the location of the ark no matter the cost, and I will bring back my mom. Please keep my baby-sister safe and I will be back soon. Sincerely yours< Narul.”

 

That was the worst day ever. Lenalee starts crying, Allen looks like he might faint, Cross just shakes his fist, Kanda look as if he might kill me, and Komui just shakes his head. Could this day get any worse and why did the the little dragon have to leave...


	34. Chapter 34

Well I'm working on more of the lovely chapters I am responsible for and this is one of them. Also I'm just bored and I have an idea for this one so far.

Chapter 34- Some Things You Just Give Away

Kanda's POV-

Everything had become dreary to say the least. Asarina's kidnapping affected everyone and now with Narul gone everything was just plain out depressing. I wouldn't say anything to anyone but I did miss them both...mainly Narul though. I still believe Asarina causes too much trouble. Not too mention she has my Moyashi acting all strange all the time. Like at the moment I am watching him sitting out on the balcony of our room staring out across the vast forest of Paris, France. He likes to keep to himself a lot to and he hasn't really talked to me about anything recently. When he does talk he goes on about not being able to wait until Narul gets back so he can help the little dragon find Asarina. Then he goes on about wanting to help rescue her if she is found. 

Now that I have actually stopped and began to watch him I have noticed how alike both Asarina and him are. Both of them are secretive, anger proned, detail oriented, and downright defensive; if you met them together you would think they were siblings. That thought scared me a little thinking about it, but I knew that would never be the case. Like right now Allen was sitting outside talking to himself and every time I try to get close to the glass to try and listen he shuts up quickly. I had tried asking him about it but he blew up on me and told me it was none of my business. I knew his anger bursts came from the small remnants of the Vex34 in his system. The drug was pretty much gone out of his system but he still showed those side affects, not as severe from when Shaun Chi was here, but still had those random moments of extreme hyperness to his random moments of anger and sadness.

“Hey.” I look up to see Allen standing there soaked to the bone and I look outside to see there was a downpour of rain.

“Feeling better?” I asked and he just shrugged and crawled into the bed curling into me. 

I didn't care that he was soaked and I just wrapped my arms around him. He was taking this whole thing just as bad as Narul and Komui. He had been fairly close to Asarina and I know he missed her deeply seeing as he hasn't gotten to see her since he woke up. There are times when he blames himself a little from not waking up sooner. Again all due to Tyki saying something to him. Allen lays here with his head on my chest and his arms wrapped around my waist, I could feel the moisture from him being soaked seeping into my clothes and most likely into the bed.

“I could be doing something to help, but I'm not.” He mutters and I sigh wrapping my arms around his shoulders and holding him very close.

“We all could be doing something but we can't. Narul is the only one who'd be able to find Asarina. He is one of the best trackers.” I tell him leaning my head down and leaving a small kiss to the top of his head.

“Then someone should be out there with Narul keeping him company! He must be so lonely!” He cries and I only sigh turning us so we were laying on our sides. I felt his legs intertwine with my own as he hugs onto me tighter.

“Allen I want you to listen to me okay?” I ask and I feel his head nod against my chest.

“No matter what you think, there was nothing you could do to protect Asarina. You were stuck in a coma and you can't help that. It's not your fault.” I begin to explain and Allen begins to cry. I only lay there running my fingers through his hair.

“Everyone is right, I shouldn't have fallen for Tyki's trick but I did and I am just as much to blame as is Cross, but we still both did what we thought was right. Her kidnapping yes should have been prevented. I want you to stop blaming yourself.” I finish and Allen is just laying here crying hugged onto me.

Eventually Allen stops crying and he is just laying there his eyes blank and emotionless just like they were when he was heavily on that drug. At least I knew it was caused this time from his own emotions becoming overbearing for him to handle. I laid there still combing my fingers through his hair watching him. We just laid here in silence and didn't move until the clock read that dinner was going to be served soon. I helped Allen out of bed and into a change of clothes before the two of us made our way towards the cafeteria. We were half way there when Cross joined us. He stood on the other side of Allen and even ruffled his hair, Allen didn't respond and the three of us continued on.

What surprised me the most was when it was our turn to order our food and Allen didn't really order much of anything before he headed to the table where Lenalee and Lavi was. It felt as if I was watching Allen walking through a daze. I watch as Lenalee tries to talk to him and like most of my days have been she was blown off as well. Grabbing my food I head over to the table and take a seat by him. He is just aimlessly picking at his food every once and a while he would take a bite.

“Is everything okay with Allen?” Lavi asked once Cross had came to the table taking the spot on the otherside of my Moyashi.

“Yea, he's just a little down with Narul being gone.” I explain, I planned to one day talk to Cross about my worries with Allen. Right now though wasn't the best time since he was sitting with us. Not like it would matter, Allen was tuning all of us out anyways.

“Yea it's pretty hard on everyone. My brother still locks himself away with paperwork.” She explains and I notice that she to is picking at her food. Actually all of us were.

Damn it Narul find your mother and get back to the Order....both of you.

 

Short Chappie I know, but thats the point. There's probably going to be quite a few of them but we'll see. Please Review


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35- Scold me

 

**Cross POV-**

 

This was the last straw, Lenalee never tries to worry about her idiot of a brother, but then again she always does. Most of the time he is in his office doing the one thing he hates more than Lavi kissing his baby sister and the one thing Narul always ate, which was paper work. He has been like this since Asarina was abducted and now only a few days ago, we lost Narul. Howard had been the last known person to talk to Narul but I think there was another who put thoughts into the emotional dragon's brain. Komui, what did you tell and what did you two talk about? I had to find the answers to those questions. I look and now im at his office door.

 

“Komui, I'm coming.” I yell and open the door but all I find his him sleeping on his desk. I walk over and slam my fist on his desk and watch him jolt awake. “What are you doing to your self?”

 

“Cross, I did not hear you come in.” He says and straightens himself up and the papers he disturbed. “What can I do for you?”

 

“You can start by coming down to dinner or actually any meal. DO you realize that everyone is all up tight and sad about Narul leaving.” I say and watch him shake his head.

 

“You do realize, that I have jerry bring me food.” He calmly says but his voice tells me that he is avoiding this subject.

 

“I do but your sister is worried about you and so is everyone else.” I explain. “First Asarina and now Narul. Everyone is in disarray from this whole ordeal. Not to mention we still do not know what gave Narul the idea to go find the ark.”

 

“Cross, Narul is in all sense an animal. HE is perfectly capable of defending himself out there. Plus I believe if there is any hope of Asarina returning to us, that Narul will be the one to do it.” He tells me and begins to work on a stack of papers.

 

My mind went blank abuot what he just said. Narul would be the one to bring her back. Which can only mean that he got this idea from Komui. That little dragon went to the one person who he hated the most and took advice from him. Narul, why did you not come to me.

 

“You mean to tell me that Narul left because you told him something.” I say angrily

 

“What do you what I did. Its your fault and Kanda's as to why we are all is this mood.” he screams at me and looks up from his work.

 

“Komui, you know that..” I was trying to say but I got cut off.

 

“Narul was only doing what he thought best and if that meant for him to leave so be it. If any one can find the ark he will.” He screams louder and he is now moving away from his desk. My guess is I hit a nerve.

 

“Look, Narul is only a child in a sense.” I tell him.

 

“He may be a child Cross, but do not forget that he has seen his mother kill people and he has helped her. HE may only have a mind of child but he is more mature than you realize.” He shouts, “Now, leave my office. I have work to do.”

 

“You still cant get over the fact that she is gone.” I shout back. “We all know she is and now the fact remains is we have Kalira here at the order.”

 

“I know she is gone and that Kalira is our responsibility until she comes back.” He yells and I now being forced to walk backwards to the door.

 

“The truth is we may never see her again or Narul for that matter.” I say as we stopped and I look to see I am outside door way.

 

“Just leave me alone. She will come back and so will Narul.” He says and slams the door. Komui, I did not mean to scream at you. Shaun, I failed you and Asarina, please come back safe and above all come back as you. Last time you were held hostage you came back disorientated and I still dont know why.

 

With Asarina and Narul being gone I was back to having to worry about Allen's mental state. He was hardly eating again and he wasn't talking to anyone. And not only that I was worried about the damn scientist because he was throwing everyone for a loop! It was obvious by now that he was in love with Asarina. I wonder if Shaun knew about that one or not. There were so many things running through my head and I didn't know which would be the most important to pay attention to.

 

The halls were empty but that would probably be because it was dinner time and most of everyone would be in the cafeteria. So it was surprise to me when I saw Kanda sitting on the floor holding onto Mugen. I would have he'd want to be by Allen's side at all times. The Samurai looked like shit and he had bags under his eyes so it was obvious that he wasn't sleeping much and I could probably guess why.

 

“So what're you doing here samurai?” I ask once I walked up over to him.

 

“I need to talk to you and you seem to be the only one I could talk to.” He answers letting out a heavy sigh before slowly standing to his feet.

 

“I doubt I can be of any help. What is it about?” I ask and I hope he wasn't loosing his mind.

 

“Allen, you're the only person who knows him more than I.” He answers and I groan, I didn't have time for this shit. I knew though that when it comes to my apprentice I needed to pay close attention. We never know when he would go over the deep end again and Kanda and I mainly needed to be prepared for it.

 

“Well come on in, let's get this talk over with.” Opening my door I walk in. I was not looking forward to this talk, but it had to be done.


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36- Failed Him

 

**Cross's POV-**

 

The first thing I did upon entering my room was grabbing the most expensive bottle of wine I have recently bought. After that I lit up a cigarette and jumped onto the bed watching Kanda slowly shut the door behind him and leaning against it. He was still holding onto Mugen so I had to guess that he had to of been training before he decided to come to talk to me. His face was glistening in sweat and the muscles on his arms were twitching from over use. This boy was so predictable it wasn't even funny, but never tell him he's a rookie or you risk being killed.

 

Kanda was never the type to over react to anything. So seeing him like this was a real shocker. He must be really worried to have to go to someone about it. Usually he is head strong in everything and wants to handle everything himself. Well if I know one thing is that this has got to be about Allen. Other than Kanda himself and Asarina I am the only other luck bastard who knows how to correctly deal with my baka minarai. Allen has been a bit down as of late and I wonder if Kanda has come to his wits end about it. I wouldn't be surprised and I guess if I have to I'll lend a helping hand and beat some sense into that apprentice of mine.

 

“Okay so what is it you wish to talk to me about? I know it has to deal with Allen but get on with it I don't have all night.” I tell him screwing the cork off of my wine and took a swig.

 

Kanda still said nothing and I watched as he leaned his sword against the door and he began to pace. It was obvious that whatever he wanted to speak to me about it was serious. He had one hand on his hip and the other hand pushed into his hair. I waited patiently for him to begin. Whatever Allen was doing it was obvious that it was sending his boyfriend into a mental frenzy. I just hoped Allen wasn't back to his cutting habits again, we didn't need that after everything that has happened.

 

“I'm worried about Allen.” He began.

 

“I know, it's obvious that you are.” I tell him taking a drag from my cigarette.

 

“No you don't understand this time it's different.” He tells me bringing his hand over his face.

 

“How is this different Kanda? He's going through his depression like always. If you tell me he's cutting again then I will be going straight to him and setting his shit straight!” I try to reassure him but he only sighs.

 

“He's not just depressed sir and no he isn't cutting again I hope, but he's been calculating things. Watching us.” He says and I raise an eyebrow at him.

 

“I'm listening.” I was now intrigued by what he had to say. It's been a few days now since Narul has left and I would have to say I have noticed Allen was acting strange, but I didn't think much of anything. It seemed to me that he was acting like everyone else.

 

Depressed.

 

“Well at first I thought he was just depressed because all he did was mope around. He was avoiding me and other people. Sticking to himself. I tried to not let it get to me.” Kanda began to explain again and this time I was giving him my full attention.

 

“Then I remembered that he just came out of a coma and I didn't want to see him fall into that state again. So, I began to watch him a bit more closely.” He continues.

 

“And what did you find?” I ask not liking where this conversation was going. If I knew Allen and boy did I know him well was that the little brat was crafty. If anything it was always a bad idea to leave him and Narul alone because they'd cause so much shit the order would be in disarray for weeks, no MONTHS!

 

“He's been watching all of us very closely and when it looks like we're going to look at him he turns his head but his eyes never leave us. Next I've seen him come in and out of Asarina's room a few times now. Then when he's by himself I see him talking to himself. But that's not what worries me.” He says and I am very intrigued by his case now. Allen was came off as an introvert but he was actually the opposite, but for him to be acting this way meant it was big. He was definitely up to something.

 

“Let me guess what has you worried is he always knows when you're near by and he shuts up instantly right?” I ask and Kanda nods his head to my statement. I nod my head in understanding before putting the cork back onto the wine bottle then got up from the bed and began pacing in the room taking drags from my cigarette.

 

“Listen to me Kanda, Allen is very unpredictable and is very crafty. He's always been like that even when he was a kid. He is most likely up to something. With him coming in and out of Asarina's room my guess is that he is planning to somehow help Narul in finding his mother. That wouldn't be good if he tried to leave cause knowing him he'd go on his own.” I tell him and I watch as his eyes widened.

 

“If he tries to leave then that makes him a sitting duck for Tyki to grab him.” Kanda answers and he begins to pace again.

 

“Look we may be over shooting this Kanda, he might just be coping with her kidnapping in his own way. He did look up to her.” I try to explain to him and he only sighs, I wasn't helping much with his nerves. Well, I wasn't trying to but I was hoping he'd stop pacing and look at this more calmly than what he was. Then again I couldn't blame him since the last Allen went all weird he ended up in a coma.

 

“Then what do you suppose we do Cross?” He asked me walking back over to Mugen, lifting the sword up into his hands. I sighed and walked over to my open window. I watched as Lavi and Lenalee made their way back into the building. At least they were handling things a bit better than us.

 

“For right now Kanda I just want you to keep an extra eye on Allen. Try to find out what he's been talking to himself about. I know spying on him is probably the worst of idea's but it's the only way to keep him safe. Understood?” I asked and I watched him look to the ground thinking. We stood in silence for quite a long while and I wondered what he was thinking about.

 

“I'm not going to like this, I hate doing things behind his back, but I understand. I will try everything in my power to find out what he's up to.” Kanda said before turning and leaving the room. I stood there and sighed. Looking back out the window I saw that it was a full moon out. I pushed my fingers through my red hair and began to think. Things were becoming out of control and it was going to take a miracle for it all to go back to normal.

 

 

**Kanda's POV-**

 

I left Cross's room with more on my mind than I had begin with, I wasn't surprised by that in the least though. He did make some really good points and it made me wandering why I had left Allen alone tonight. I was heading down the hallway gripping as tight onto Mugen as possible. This was why I slightly hated Asarina, every time something happened it resolved around her and it had negative chain reactions. I was turning down the hallway to Allen and my room when I slowed down and came to a stop. I was standing outside our door and just leaned my head against it. Everything inside was quiet. Taking in a deep breath I let out a heavy sigh and walked into the room.

 

A small smile graced my lips as I saw Allen laying on the bed curled into a ball hugging onto my pillow. Closing the door silently behind me I made my way quietly through the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Allen's hair was sprawled out about his pillow and his mouth hung slightly open silent snores coming from him. He looked so peaceful and I prayed that this moment could last forever. I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair leaning forward and gently kissing his forehead.

 

“Kanda?” His tiny voice broke through the silence and I smiled watching as his eyelids slid open. I wasn't going to waste a perfect opportunity like this one.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37- If only I'd held on tighter to her

 

**Komui's POV-**

 

I just locked the door after shutting it Cross's face. He has no clue what this has done to me. I know what I said to Narul was a little out there but he needed to hear that. He needed to know that I was doing everything in my power to help find Asarina. I almost got killed when Shaun came into the order, and it was even more of shock to find out that she was the only daughter of his. That only made me feel that much sorry for the little guy and for Kalira, the only precious item left of hers.

 

First it was Lenalee trying to get me to come out of my office, and now she has got Cross involved. I have to many things to do and can not be bothered by little stupid things, but in all sense of reality, i'm only doing this to keep my mind off the situations at hand. I miss her so much and its harder now than every before to keep my mind off of her.

 

Asarina, I miss your smile and how your green eyes shimmer in the sunlight while long black hair blows in the wind. I miss seeing you treasuring Kalira in your arms and how you talk to her gently despite what you do for a living. I miss you yelling at Narul to behave and stay out of my office. Your quick come backs to Kanda and how you try to protect me from falling for you, but I would not listen at all and I fell for you.

 

Looking around my office brings back memories. The first time we made love was here and now I may never see her again. I'm now sitting at my desk and I pull out the picture I had showed Narul. With out the two of them my dream will never come true.

 

My only dream that I had turned into a wish and had hopes to turn it into a reality. The dream where Asarina and I said our vows with our friends and family around us, where the two of us raised Kalira and Narul together, and the four of could live as a true family.

 

Yet, I don't know if Asarina feels same way I do. How can anyone make a one sided love story come true. I should have told her myself about Lvellie's letter and how I was not going to allow to him to do this. I should have tried to talk to her abut what she means to me. I should have asked her about what I meant to her. Now she is gone and there was nothing I could do. Cross is right maybe she will never return.

 

My thoughts were interrupted by the knocking on my door. I slowly get up and walk over the door. I unlock it and open it, to see Allen standing there.

 

“Hi, Komui.” He says smiling weakly. I shake my head and allow him to enter. Then I close the door...again.

 

“Allen, are you okay?” I ask him and sit back down in my chair. Why does this have to happen to me.

 

“Sort of...Kanda has been watching me like a hawk.” He says in a very upset voice as he sits down on the couch.

 

“Allen, he is just worried about you, and so is everyone else.” I tell him and I know deeply that I am making everyone worry about me.

 

“I know but the thing is....I'm worried about you.” He tells me straight out and i'm not surprised.

“Allen..you do not have to worry about me. I'm really fine.” I tell him and I just hope he will leave me alone.

 

“Okay..then lets talk about Asarina.” He says and smirks.

 

“How about we find anther topic to talk about.” I tell him and know I pray that he just leaves.

 

“Lets talk about Narul.” He suggested and still smirks.

 

“Allen, what are you trying to do?” I ask him in an upset voice.

 

“I am trying to prove a point that when it comes to certain topics, you avoid them and try to change it.” Allen says forcefully and just gives me that stair of his.

 

“I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to accept the fact that both of them are gone.” I tell him as my head hits my desk.

 

“Look, you help everyone else with their problems and I feel that you have no one help you.” He says and I hear him stand up. “We are here for you..just like you are here for us. Please, it would cheer up Lenalee if you came to dinner.”

 

“I will be down in an hour.” I tell him and I hear the door the shut.

 

Why, does he have to be right? All I have done is just sat in office and try to avoid two topics. All I am doing is just trying to keep occupied and I cant stand this anymore. When Asarina gets back, I am going to figure this out and get things straight. Even if it means she does not love me or want me in her life. I will get over it if she leaves again.

 

I lift my head up at the sound of the phone ringing. I just sit there cause I know after the fourth ring the person calling was Bak. The one person who I would never allow my lovely sister to date. Unfortunately the phone has rang six time. “What do you want Bak.” I say as I speak into the phone.

 

“I”m not Bak, dummy head.” I hear a familiar voice say. “He is tired up cause he would not let me use the phone.”

 

“Narul, how have you been?” I ask him and shake my head.

 

“I'm okay, I have not found the ark yet but I will.” He says hopefully and I can hear the hopefulness in his voice.

 

“I'm glad you called. Everyone is worried about you.” I tell him and smile.

 

“Yeah, well i'm crashing at a safe house.” He says and I know why he is.

 

“Well at least I can tell everyone that you are safe.” I tell him and I understand why.

 

“Well, I'm going to let you go and I still have to untie Bak. I used a dart to put him to sleep.” He says and laughs.

 

“Then, why did you tie him if you darted him?” I questioned.

 

“In case he woke up and tried to stop me.” He says, “Well, ill talk to you again soon.”

 

“Okay, bye.” I say and hang up the phone.

 

I look the papers I was working on. The thing was I was blood testing everyone in the order to see if anyone could be related to Asarina, that way Kalira could be with them. So far I was down to Cross, Lavi, Kanda and Allen. I was waiting for the results to come back, which should be here tonight. I figure I could leave for a bit and eat. Besides everyone would want to hear that I talked to Narul.

 

As I walk in and order my food, I see everyone laughing and just talking. The only thing is, I miss seeing Asarina feeding Kalira and talk about her travels. I push that aside and continue to the table and sit down. Which causes Lenalee to smile when I sit next her and everyone else looks happy.

 

“So, guess who I just got off the phone with?” I ask and just give the blank stare.

 

“Like, I care.” Lavi said in a very mean tone.

 

“Was it Shaun?” Cross says in a hysterical tone.

 

“Please, tell me it was not him.” Kanda says in a complete total panic.

 

“It was the Asian branch but Bak was tied up and put to sleep.” I say and laugh.

 

“Then who did you talk to?” I hear my sister ask.

 

“I talked to Narul.” I tell them and they all stop and stare. “He said is fine and will be staying at a safe house.”

 

“There are many of them.” Cross said, “So, trying to find out which one is going to be hard. Since he can fly.”

 

For the next to hours we all talked about Narul, but no one mentioned Asarina, and I was okay with that. We also talked about things that have been going on and the Noah sitings we have heard about. Please, Narul, bring her back safely. Asarina, please stay strong, we are doing everything we can to find you


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38- Pale White Skin

 

Asarina pov

 

I don' t know how long I have been is this god forsaken place. All know is I had to get out and soon. I pray that my father stopped that bastard, Lvellie from taking Kalira and that she is safe. I needed to get back to both of children. Narul is probably giving Cross a very hard time, but it was not his fault. He did everything he could to protect him and I did all I could to help him. Yet, in the end I choose to surrender to save him. I gave up my self to stop him from being killed. Im thankful he was unconscious when Road made the offer. “Come with me or I will kill him and still take you.” Those words will haunt me.

 

Now because of that choice, I have been fighting Tyki, Road and those two blasted devil clown brothers. I don't know what their game is but I'm growing tried of it. Tyki said he wanted to see me break and if this was the plan then fuck his games. Im holding back what strength I have left, what little I have left. I needed to get passed him so I can get through the door way and find my way out of here. The only person I have not see yet was Adam, or should I say the millennium earl. I swear if I see that bastard, I am going to kill him and nothing will be able to stop me. First I had to find a weapon, casue Road made me throw every single one on the ground before we left.

 

“Still looking for a way out, Night Tracker?” I hear Tyki say and look behind me to see him standing there. “This is just to cute seeing you like this.”

 

“You are a piece of shit and you know it.” I tell him and now my focus is on that mother fucking door.

 

“Escape is not possible and you know this deep down in your heart.” He says and gives that ridiculous smile of his.

 

“I will be leaving this place and you can not stop me. I have my children to worry about. I will not abandon them.” I yell and follow my training, which is to stand my ground and be alert.

 

“This is where you will fall, and where you will know the meaning of fear and pain.” He says with a twisted look in his eyes.

 

“I doubt it.” I tell him while keeping the hope of seeing my kids again and that is the one thing I will fight for.

 

“Tell you what if can make it past me and get to the gates. You are free to leave.” HE says and then he lunges at me.

 

I move out of his and manage to trip him. The next thing I do is punch him underneath his knee. I wait to make sure he is not getting up, and I start to back up to the door my eyes never leaving him. HE tries to stand but only falls again, and this time I bolt for the door and finally make it out of the hell hole.

 

As run down the hallways, my thought were on my children and how I had to get back to them/ I was not going to miss out Kalira growing up at all. I was not going to let Narul feel alone and I was not going to leave Komui. I had to get back to all three of them or my life was nothing. I had to return for Cross, my father and my clan. I turn a corner only to see Road on that blasted umberella.

 

“So you made out of that fight but can make out of this one.” She laughs and a candle heads my way.

 

“Is that all you got.” I scream at her as a dodge that one. “You are nothing but a monster.”

 

“A monster, hahahahahaha. You should be more careful how you choose your words.” She laughs and gets three more candles ready.

 

Looking around I notice that I am by a window. You should be more careful how you corner your enemy. I know the drop will be dangerous but if I can get out of the main building, and to the ground. Freedom was that much closer and so will my kids, as well as everyone else. Financially she launches them and jump with the one that would break the window. After going through it and seeing the glass shatter, I jump off the candle. I remember hitting the ground hard but I was able to stand up. Looking up at the huge hole all I see is Road and her face was red.

 

I then take off through the garden and use the plants to my advantage. I was hiding behind a a large tree and not to far away I could see the gates that would lead me out of here and away from this mad house. I would finally be able to hold my daughter and discipline my son. I look around one more time, seeing nothing I finally make a run for the gates. Im almost there before, I hear the sound of an explosion behind me.

 

I remember falling to the ground, my body feeling cold, but I still manage to pull my self up. I start to walk to the gates but I fall to my knees. Im in a lot of pain and my vision is blurry. I try to get up again and this time my whole body hit the ground. Im half way to the gate and my strength is gone.

 

“Those two idiots, why did they have to use their stupid guns.” I can hear Sheril say.

 

“I can't believe she made it this far.” Tyki laughs.

 

The next thing I knew my head starts to spin and my eyes finally close. I could feel someone picking me up and I was in to much pain to fight back. I could not believe that I was being taken back to that cell. I was so close to being free and now I might be trapped here. I will still fight no matter what happens, I will escape and see my kids.

 

I woke up to my self in a nightgown and in a different room. I had no idea what was going on, but what ever it was. I was going to fight and never stop till I got out. Looking around I notice there is no door, as usual, and I was confused as to why my clothes had been changed. I finally get up, only to feel light headed and sore.

 

“Finally, your awake.” I hear the voice of the man I wanted to kill. I turn around to see him sitting in a chair in the form I had first saw him.

 

“Why are you doing this to me.” I shout at him and I I wish I had a kunai with me.

 

“You really are something.” HE tells me with a laugh.

 

“Millennium earl, you will pay for this.” I say and try to walk to walk but that fails and I grab onto the bed frame for support.

 

“I wish you would call me Adam.” He says with a smile, “I wish things could have been different but now you are mine.”

 

“I will never be yours.” I tell him, my voice shaken a little with fear as he moved closer to me.

 

“Now, you should not be so bold to say that.” He tells me and run his hands through my long hair.

 

“Stay away from me.” I say and back up. “I need to get back to my daughter.”

 

“You mean our daughter.” He says laughing.

 

“She will never know you or ever see you.” I tell him in anger and clench my fist. I knew I had some fight in me still.

 

“Now that really hurts to know that my little girl will not be able to know her father.” He says sadly but I can see there is something in his eyes that makes me wonder what his game was. “Maybe I will have her brought here.”

 

With that I lunged at him with everything I had and I tried to punch him, but he moved out of the way. The next thing I felt was my hair being yanked and I pulled back, then on the floor. I stand back up and I wished I had my ultimate weapon or any weapon but I had to find a way to knock him out. With him knocked out, I could use him as a hostage and get out.

 

“Kalira will never be brought here.” I say but I know I'm am in no way to fight him. My body was still weak from the attacks that had happened earlier.

 

“You say that now but soon she will be here and that dragon will be behind bars.” He says smiling at me with that wicked smile.

 

“I doubt that you will be able to get them out of the order.” I say while backing up to the vanity that was in the room. Earlier I noticed a pair of chopsticks and decided to grab one. Maybe I could pierce his neck with it.

 

“You have faith in those who you do not trust.” He says and step forward but does not get close. “Typical for your line of work.”

 

“That is what makes me unpredictable.” I say and lunged at him again.

 

This time he manages to grab my wrist that has the chopstick in it, and then he squeezes which causes me to drop it. Then next thing I knew I was thrown on the bed and pinned with now both of his hands on each on my wrist.

 

“You try to pretended that you are not scared but in reality you are. This is just an act, cause you have no fight left in you.” He says in a rather scary tone. Next thing I knew he kissed me.

 

I was now in a state of panic, and I was for once in my life afraid. I had heard stories from other women about how they had to call in for back up cause the plan failed. The one thing every one is taught “Never let a man force you to do anything you do not want to do.” Here I was weak, alone, and now terrified.

 

**Unknown POV-**

 

The Earl continued to kiss Asarina keeping her wrists pinned high above her head as he did so. Maneuvering his hands he managed to hold down both of her wrists using just one of his hands, while his free hand began to roam her body he caressed her breasts. One of his knees were planted in between her legs pressing against her. His hand began to slide down her body sliding down until it reached the bottom of her nightgown. He slipped his hand underneath the fabric beginning to push it up as his hand began to slide back up her body.

 

“Please....stop.” Asarina's voice sounded so tiny and far away as she tried to beg him to stop also trying to wriggle her wrists from his grasp but only failed.

 

Adam began to kiss down Asarina's neck he finally released her wrists with his other hand which joined down her body helping with lifting the nightgown off of her. His mouth attacked her neck biting down and sucking on her delicate skin leaving tiny hickies behind. The nightgown trailed over her body reaching her wrists. The moment he touched them again Asarina tried to fight back again trying to shove him away from her. His handa easily grabbed onto her wrists and pinned them above her head once more. Using the nightgown he managed to tie them tightly together. He began to kiss down her neck again leaving a trail of hickies down her chest to her breast where he took her nipple into his mouth and he began to suck on it. His hands gripped tightly onto her waist leaving a handprint bruise behind.

 

Shifting himself around Adam now knelt beside Asarina using one hand to travel up her stomach grabbing onto her free breast fondling it roughly grabbing and pinching her nipple as he did so. His free hand traveled down south slowly slipping a finger between her folds moaning when he felt her wetness. Asarina was laying there crying, begging for him to stop but her cries only excited him more. Slowly at first Adam began to rub between her folds the tip of his finger playing with her clit causing spasms to rush through her body. As he played with her clit he added a finger to inside of her twirling it about inside of her.

 

“Just stop!” Asarina cried out trying to pull her wrists apart to free them but only seemed to make her restraints tighter. Smirking the Earl completely stopped before he was straddling Asarina standing upright on his knees he slipped his erect manhood from his boxers before reaching forward and grabbing Asarina by the hair lifting her up to a sitting position. Tears were running down her eyes as she saw what was about to happen. She fought as her lips were pressed against the tip and she refused to open her mouth. Wrapping his hand around her neck the Earl squeezed tightly beginning to choke her until she inadvertently opened her mouth and he forced his full length into her mouth. He held onto each side of her head as the tip of his length hit the back of her mouth, he forced himself completely into her mouth before pulling back halfway and pushing it completely forward again. He continued the motion testing her gag reflex until he was half way to coming before deciding he was done. He allowed her to drop back down to her back with a resounding flop.

 

Climbing off of her he flipped Asarina onto her stomach, forcing her onto her knees the slid his hands up her arms then up the sides of her body. He left tiny kisses up the back end of her legs before he reach her entrance. Spreading her folds open the Earl darted his tongue to inside of her twirling it about. He licked down to her clit before sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth taking it between his teeth and lightly nipped at it. His fingers pushed into her moving in and out.

 

“STOP!” Asarina screamed out but he only continued pushing his digits into her until four of his fingers were inside of her. He began to quickly move them in and out of her causing more of her juices to seep out of her completely making her wet. Pulling his fingers from inside of her the Earl sat up to his knees again postioning his tip at her entrance. Pushing slightly in he only teased her running his nails up and down her back. Finally he pushed completely to inside of her, pushing until she swallowed up his entire shaft and the tip of his erection hit her inner wall. Asarina let out a scream as he began to move in and out. The Earl towered over her back as he thrusted in and out of her quickly, one hand buried into her hair yanking her head back while his other hand dipped around her waist and began to rub her clit. His body rocked back and fourth against hers as his hips made slapping noises against her back end. The Earl left small kisses along her shoulder blades and he was coming close to his end. Lifting himself up the Earl fell back to sitting on his knees bringing Asarina with him holding her up by the back of her knees he rammed in and out of her. His mouth attacck her neck again roughly biting onto her skin as one of his hand released her legs and began grabbing at her breast pinching her nipple.

 

“You're mine.” He hissed into her ear as he finally came inside of her and let her drop to the bed.

 

Asarina pov

 

I was unsure as to how long I was out but it was not that long, I think. It was well passed dinner time since there was a tray of food left out. How could this have happened and I let it. I tried to fight but I was exhausted, powerless and now I was bruised. I push the food aside and look at my wrist, the scars that the nightgown had made, I just wanted to cry.

 

Getting up, I walked over the mirror and saw more of what he had done. It just made me sick to my stomach, and eventually I turn away, but then I smash the mirror with my fist. I watch the blood drip from hand and the shards that were stuck only made me realize that I had no vex34 with me at all. The one thing that might have saved me.

 

I go back to the bed and lay down. My body was extremely sore and I felt like a prisoner once again. The only outlet I had left was my secret ability and I was not going to let them know about it. I lay there thinking of Kalira, Narul, Cross, Allen, Komui and my father. The only people who matter most to me. I was not going to give up and I was never going to belong to him at all. Finally I close my eyes and travel down the threads of dream realm. It took me years to master this ability and it was well worth the extra training.

 

_Once inside I follow the path that lead me to my daughter. I could see her smiling as I approached her and picked her up, holding her close._

 

“ _Things will get better. I will find away back to you, I promise.” I tell her and kiss her forehead._

 

_She only looks at me with her green eyes and smiles, laughing for it is all she knows right mow. I begin to cry at the thought of her being brought her. He says he can bring her here but I call bull shit. Iplace her down and follow the sound of a familiar voice._

 

_When I reach the point of origin, I am in shock to see Narul, Kalira, myself and Komui together in the gardens of the back order. I just sit back and watch at how his dream reflected on what I actually wanted. Then my heart breaks cause I was wrong about him. HE wanted to protect Kalira, Narul and myself from Lvellie. I refused to give up hope and I was going to fight but first I just wanted to stay here. I wanted this to be reality and I was going to make it just that once I got out of this hell hole._

 


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 40- That twisted and withered

 

**Komui pov-**

 

Dinner was actually very nice and calming, despite the fact that Narul was mostly the subject. Now I was on my way back to the office and hoping the results were in. IF no one here was a match, I would have to call Shaun and tell him to come get Kalira. I did not want to lose that little girl, but I don't want her to be without family. IF he were to take her, then I would have nothing left to remind me that she ever existed.

 

I open my office door and just decide to leave it open. AS I walk over to my desk I see the envelopes from the lab. I calmly sit down in my chair and open the first one. Of course Lavi would no where be related to her, and I was glad about that. The next one I open was Kanda's results and thank God, he is not related to her. He would have flipped shit and destroyed another dojo. I guess they stuck Allen and Cross's in the same envelope, so I open it and that is when I feel like the world has stopped. I look over it again and again, this was not happening.

 

“Cross, you have exactly five minutes to get to my office or I will send a komlin after you.” I shout through the pa system. I had to tell him and I knew this was not going to be easy.

 

“Komui, what the hell is going on.” Cross yells as he storms into the room and out of breath at that.

 

“Lock the door and sit down.” I tell him and now I have to get my self calm. HE does at least lock the door and sit down.

 

“Okay, what is going on? You look like you have just seen a ghost.” He tells me and rubs his forehead.

 

“Just read these results and you will understand.” I say while walking over to him and hand him the papers.

 

“What the hell? Are you serious?” He screams at me and looks down at the papers again. “This is not possible.”

 

“He already has enough to deal with. HE can not know about this Cross.” I say and start to shake a little.

 

“No shit, if Allen found out that Asarina and him are half siblings. Who knows what he is going to do.” Cross states in frustration.

 

“That makes Kalira his niece and Narul his nephew. I just don't see how this is possible.” I say and I sit down next to him.

 

“I know Shaun would never sleep with a women and leave her. They have to have the same mother. Shaun took Asarina when she was two. She has little to no memory of her mother.” Cross states and I have to believe him. From what I know and heard, Shaun is a very respectable person.

 

“So, you do realize we have to tell Kanda.” I say and the look on his face was priceless.

 

“I know he is going to not like this at all.” HE tells me as I get up and grab the microphone.

 

“Kanda, please report to my office and do so quickly.” I say into it and then we had to wait.

 

We did not wait to long but I forgot that we had locked the door. So when we heard knocking, Cross got up and opened the door. Kanda look worried and sat down on the couch.

 

“Okay, what did he say?” Kanda asked and I just look at him all funny.

 

“Shaun has not called you idiot.” Cross says and lowers his head. “The reason why you are here is because Komui has just found out something.”

 

“Kanda, read this.” I say and hand him the papers.

 

“This better be some fucking joke.” He says and gives us the evil eyes.

 

“It is no joke. Allen and Asarina are related. WE believe that they have the same mother.” I tell him and he just shakes his head. “Allen does not know and it would be best he did not know.”

 

“NO shit, if he found this out, those gears in his head will be forming some sort of rescue plan. I just cant believe that he is related to that woman.” Kanda says as he leaves the room.

 

“Well, that went pretty good.” Cross says laughing.

 

“Cross this is no laughing matter.” I say to him and head toward the door.

 

“Where are you going?” He asks me.

 

“For once, I'm going to sleep in my room.” I tell him and leave.

 

**Allen's POV-**

 

I was just leaving the cafeteria when I heard Komui shout out over the PA system for Cross. I wandered what it could be about. My interest spikes and I began making my way towards the office wandering if it might've been about Asarina. It wouldn't be surprising if they found a clue and wanted to keep to themselves for now. Eating my dango's I turned down the hallway that would lead me to Komui's office.

 

“What the hell? Are you serious?” I hear a scream as I near the door. Staring at it I shrug my shoulders and pressed my ear to the door. That is where I began to hear the conversation about how I was related to Asarina. The both of us were brother and sister...well half siblings. I stepped back and stared at the door. Why would Komui want to keep something like that from me? I hurry away when I hear Kanda paged over the PA system. I already heard what I needed to hear.


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40- Away From Me, Away From Me

 

**Lenalee's POV-**

 

Dinner had gone by quickly but I was still sitting here in the cafeteria by myself. I recollected on all the days that have passed since Asarina was taken. First couple weeks Narul made Kanda and Cross's lives hell and then when Allen came to me I had lost it. I know I promised Allen I wasn't going to fly off the handle but I did anyways and said some pretty mean things to Narul. So now our little dragon friend was gone and it was mostly my fault.

 

After a while I finally got up and left the cafeteria heading outside to the courtyard sitting on the same bench Narul had been perched on when I had yelled at him. I leaned back and stared up at the sky watching the full moon. It was such a nice night and it should help me be at ease but sadly it didn't and all I wanted to do was cry. I tried talking to my brother to get him somewhat back to normal but he didn't want to hear it. Allen wasn't talking again and that saddened me and I hoped he didn't do anything.

 

“Hey there pretty lady.” I tilted my head down and saw Lavi standing there with a smile on his face.

 

“Hey there handsome.” I said back and watched as he took a seat next to me.

 

“You have a lot on your mind don't you?” He asked sitting there with his arm around my shoulders. I leaned over and rested my head onto his chest. I felt him begin to rub circles on my shoulder with his thumb. I didn't say anything and I just watched as a couple of ducks swam in the pound across from us. They looked so peaceful and I wished we could be like that. Lavi didn't say anything more either and kept me held close to him. I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing. Slowly my mind was beginning to calm down.

 

“Come.” He said and stood up holding his hand out to me. Smiling I grabbed onto his hand and allowed him to help me to my feet. We walked back into the Order hand in hand just walking in comfortable silence. I rested my head onto his shoulder wrapping my free arm around his closing my eyes.

 

“Talk to me Lenalee.” He said bringing his free hand up and brushing my bangs from my face.

 

“So much has happened as of late and I'm just trying to keep up.” I tell him allowing him to lead me down the hallways.

 

“All of us are trying to keep up Lenalee you're not the only one.” He told me and I knew what he said was the truth.

 

“I said such horrible things to Narul and all I want to do is take them back. I want to apologize to him. Not even my brother is talking to me. Allen has closed up, Kanda and Cross are keeping watch over him....all this drama is driving me insane!” I tell him feeling tears beginning to spring up in my eyes.

 

“I know and don't go blaming yourself for anything.” He tells me and I just sigh. Eventually I notice we are walking down the hallway to my room and I roll my eyes. Even though I know where this was leading I make no attempt to stop him.

 

“Lavi what makes you think us making love is going to solve anything?” I ask releasing his arm and began walking backwards.

 

“Well for starters it will take your mind off of this and your brother is too busy with paperwork to even notice.” He says with a devilish grin. I can only shack my head before turning around and heading to my room which was only a few doors down. I couldn't believe he had just said that and here I was getting slightly excited to. Rolling my eyes I walked into my room going over onto my bed and belly flopping onto it. I heard Lavi shut the door and listened as his footsteps drew closer to me. I rolled onto my back as he sat down next to me.

 

“You don't understand Lavi! I can't think of things like that!” I yell throwing my hands to above my head. I believe he took his chance then because I found Lavi towered above me his hand cupping my cheek.

 

“That's because you're not relaxing, you're letting too many things get to you sweetheart.” He said and leaned over his lips descending directly onto mine. I found myself becoming lost as I slowly began to relax. I lifted my arms again and wrapped them around his neck. His other hand I felt began to undo the front of my shirt. I unhooked my arms and ran my hands down the front of his shirt until I reached the bottom hem. Slipping my hands under his shirt I ran them along the skin of his chest while also lifting up his shirt. I felt his tongue glide along my bottom lip and I slid my mouth open slightly granting him entrance.

 

Lavi straddled my hips as his tongue darted into my mouth beginning a dance with mine. As the last button to my shirt was unhooked I pushed the remaining portion of his shirt off his head. Lavi's hands each planted onto my shoulders and began pushing to fabric of my shirt down my arms. This left us both shirtless. Breaking the kiss I stared up at Lavi before pushing myself to sitting up our nose gently brushing and I moved my head till my face was in the junction of where his neck met his shoulder. My hands pressed against his chest and I ran them along his skin. I bit onto his neck listening to the low moan which escaped his throat. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him forcing me to sit onto his lap wrapping my legs around him. I licked around the spot I had bit at then lifted my head up looking down at Lavi as he himself gently bit onto my neck lightly sucking on the skin. I couldn't help the moan that came from my very own mouth.

 

“I want us to be forever Lenalee.” He whispered into my ear, one arm wrapped around my back and he gently laid me back against the bed my head on the pillow this time. I dug my fingers into his hair bringing his mouth back up to mine as I captured his lips this time. His hands ran down my sides his fingers hooking into my skirt as he pushed it and my underwear down my legs. Lavi had broken the kiss and kissed down my neck to my chest. His mouth unhooked the front clasp to my bra and it flopped open. I let out a gasp when one of his mouths took hold of my nipple and he began to suck and nip on it.

 

“Oh God Lavi~!” I moaned out feeling my lower half removed, his hands began trailing back up the inside of my legs. I squirmed under his touch my back slightly arching. His touches sent shivers through my body. I felt one of his fingers glide through my folds as his other free hand came up and caressed my other breast.

 

“Please Lavi, I want more!” I begged, spreading my legs a little more to give him more access to inside of me. I heard him chuckle deeply two of his fingers pushing into me. I let out a throaty moan biting my lip as my back arched wanting to feel more of his touches. His fingers began to move in and out of me his thumb gently rubbing against my clit. His tongue ran circles around my nipple and he sucked hard on it while his other hand took my other nipple in between his thumb and pointer finger lightly pinching it sending waves of pleasure through me. A pressure was beginning to build up in my abdomen as his fingers continued to move in and out of me. My hips began to slowly move with his hand and just before I could come all of his movements stop and I couldn't help the whine that came out. I looked to him as he chuckled and I watched Lavi strip from his pants and boxers. My eyes mever left his movements and felt myself getting hotter.

 

“Like what you see?” He asked crawling up me lowering himself onto me his lips meeting mine in a heated kiss. His hands forced my legs to bend and he propped himself onto his knees forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. I could feel the tip to his erection at my entrance, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders as he pushed himself in. He didn't have to wait for me to adjust I was already used to him and he began to slide in and out of me his hands gripped onto my waist.

 

“Lavi please, take me.” I moaned and I felt him speed up as he began to pound into me. I thrusted my own hips with his thrusts each of us meeting the other. Lavi's hands ran up my sides and the each grabbed onto my breasts beginning to massage them. I tangled my fingers into his red hair both of us rocking with one another as we moved in sync. I threw my head back against the pillow moaning out his name feeling his teeth graze against the skin of my neck as he gently bit down sucking on the skin. I felt that pressure building up in my abdomen again and I let out a scream of his name when I suddenly felt my clit being rubbed in sync with his thrusting.

 

“Oh god I'm going to...” I began to say and was unable to say it as I moaned in ecstasy as the both of us came together. We laid there together for a long time wrapped in each others arms and legs.

 

“Thank you Lavi.” I whispered after a while.

 

“Anytime my lovely Lenalee. I'd take on the world for you if it meant keeping you happy.” And I smiled at his words as I slowly drifted to sleep in his arms.

 

 

 

**Yes I know that this chapter was lame but a lot of our chapters are probably going to be a bit short from us coming close to the end. It's been a while since I typed a BoyxGirl scene, I feel proud of it a bit LOL. Well I hoped you enjoyed it and until next time! Please review!**

 


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41- Watch Me Lose Him

 

 

I couldn't believe this, I was being forced to lie once again to my Moyashi! Komui had to be crazy to think I was going to do this again, we all know how that ended up last time. Even Cross was in on it and didn't care. This would surely end my relationship with Allen if I am caught, with this new information it was going to change everything. If Allen were to find out that his sister was Asarina, then he would surely go out like Narul and go in search of her. I couldn't afford that, I wouldn't allow him. Here I was though being forced to keep this from him and I just had this gut feeling that something very horrible was going to come of it. I could only hope that Allen would forgive me and see that I was being forced to keep my mouth shut. I loved my Moyashi and I never wanted to loose him, if I did then my whole world would just end.

 

The walk to my room was short and I wasn't prepared to face my Allen yet, but here I was turning the handle to the door and walking in. The room was nearly pitch black, the only source of light was from the window thanks to the full moon that was out. Allen stood by the window and was starring at it Timcanpy resting on his shoulder. I stood there closing the door and leaning my back against it. How was I ever going to be able to keep acting normal around him. He was sure to catch on to my uneasiness. Walking to the table that was in the middle of the room I sat down and leaned back in the chair. I didn't even notice Allen had came over to me until he was sitting in my lap and he lightly tugged onto my hair.

 

“What's on your mind?” He asked leaning his head onto my shoulder.

 

“I just had a rough meditation tonight. Nothing to worry about.” I answered him, I winced though when he pinched me in the chest. “What?!”

 

“You're lying through your teeth Kanda and you know it!” He said looking down I noticed his eyes were half lidded in a glare.

 

“A hard training session with Marie.” I answered immediately, this resulted me in getting pinched again.

 

“Try again liar, what's going on?” He asks sitting up straight again his arms loosely wrapped around my shoulders.

 

“Nothing is going on Allen, just drop it okay?” I asked turning my head away so I wasn't looking into his eyes.

 

“If it was nothing then you wouldn't be acting like this Kanda, just tell me what is going on.” He says his hand grabbing my chin and forcing my head to turn and look him in the eyes.

 

“I'm not acting any different than what I usually do Allen. You're just worrying too much Moyashi.” I said trying to give him my best smile.

 

“You're just SO hopeless Kanda!” He suddenly shouted standing to his feet and walking away slightly.

 

“Allen?” I ask and he suddenly turns on me, eyes ablaze in anger.

 

“You're hiding something Kanda and I don't like it!” He says his arms dangling at his sides and his hands fisted into fists.

 

“Allen I am not hiding anything I swear! I learned my lesson from the last time!” I say back to him jumping to my feet.

 

“Obviously not because you're hiding something right now! It's written all over your face!” He shouts pushing his hands against my chest forcing me to sit in the chair once again. Placing his hands on each of the arms of the chair Allen leaned over till his face was inches from my own.

 

“Allen you can trust me, I am not hiding anything. Why won't you believe me?” I ask, I could feel a bead of sweat trickle down the side of my face. Allen was making me so nervous I felt like cracking and telling him right there what was going on. But I couldn't, I was given an order and I had to abide by it.

 

“Trust you?! Kanda you've lied to me before!” He shouts again and I wince at his words. I knew he was right but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

 

“I had good reasons for lying to back then and you know it Allen! So don't go blaming just me, everyone else was in on it to!” I shout back at him raising my hands and pushing him back standing to my feet. Allens eyes widened in shock and he looked slightly hurt before he clenched his fists and took a swing. I easily caught his hand in mine before pushing him back causing him to fall backwards onto the bed. I jumped onto him, straddling him my hands holding his wrists down above his head. He immediately began to struggle against me.

 

“Let me up Kanda! I am not through with you!” He shouted.

 

“But I'm done with you verbally attacking me.” I say before kissing him, Allen fought against me but slowly he loosened up and soon he was kissing me back. I felt so bad about lying to him, but once again it was for his own protection.

 

“N-No fair.” He stutters after I break away from the kiss. I can only smirk at him as I begin kissing down his neck keeping a firm grip on his wrists. I could hear his breathing becoming more erratic as I nip at the skin of his neck.

 

“K-Kanda!” He moans and I smirk again. This was going to be an interesting night.  


	42. Chapter 42

**The long awaited chapter between Kanda and Allen! I know some of you have been waiting for this moment. I can't believe its been a while since the last chapter I had something like this in here between them. I hope you enjoy it!!!**

 

Chapter 42- It's Almost like Losing Myself

 

Kanda wasn't being fair at all, here he had me pinned down to the bed attacking my neck to bites and kisses. I was so mad at him, he was lying to me and he didn't even know that I knew. Slowly though my mind began to swirl into nothingness. Kanda's hands finally released their hold on my wrists and they began to lightly trail down my arms. His fingers traced over the self-inflicting scars that were there. Feeling him touch them sent shivers up my spine and I let out a gasp followed by a moan, urging him to continue.

 

Kanda's hands traveled down my chest and his lips pressed firmly against the skin of my neck sucking in some skin before lightly biting down. I threw my head back letting out a moan everything was spinning around me and I just wanted more. I moved my arms down to Kanda's head before untying the string that held his hair up. His hair fell down about him and I pushed my fingers into the long dark tresses tangling them in the black mass. I felt Kanda's hands push under my shirt his fingers trailing along my skin. I let out tiny pants as I bent my legs before stretching them out again. I could feel a pressure building in my chest and I couldn't stand it.

 

“Moan for me Moyashi.” Kanda whispered in my ear before he took the appendage into his mouth and lightly nipped at it. I moaned again maneuvering my head towards him as I did so.

 

“Kanda...I....I want you.” I heard myself beg, but I didn't care. I wanted him to take me, right here and right now. I felt Kanda's hands push further up my chest bringing my shirt up with it. I let him push the fabric up over my head and I heard it land somewhere about the room after he threw it. Kanda's lips attacked the skin of my neck again as he kissed down it and to my chest. His hands descended down my chest and gripped tightly onto my waist.

 

“I want to take you Allen.” His deep voice resonated through the room and I found myself lost in his words. I feel my fingers leave his hair as my arms fell to my sides and I watched him sit up. Kanda peeled his own shirt off and it too was thrown somewhere in the room. Shadows danced across his chest as I starred up at him. His eyes were full of hunger and lust as he stared down at me. I found myself reaching up and resting my hands against his abs before I ran my fingers over each one.

 

“I want you to take me.” I answer his statement. I could feel my hair sprayed out against the bed probably accenting around my head in a white silver halo. I watch a smirk dance across Kanda's face before he is bending over me again and he captures my lips with his own. I push my fingers into his hair again tangling my fingers in the long tresses. Kanda's own fingers pushed into my hair as he held my head in one place. My dark haired lover sucked onto my bottom lip taking the appendage in between his teeth before letting go with a pop. Not even moments later he had his lips upon mine again, his hands descending down my chest again. His hands stopped just above my nipples before brushing his fingers over the tiny nubs. I gasped then felt his tongue plunge into my mouth. My tongue came to life and began a dance with his.

 

Wrapping my arms around his shoulders I brought one of my legs up and wrapped it around his waist. Kanda's fingers played with my nipples, rubbing against and pinching them. Shivers coursed up and down my spine and I held onto Kanda as tightly as I could. I could feel pleasure all through out my body and I just wanted more. I ran my hands down Kanda's chest running them over as much skin as I possibly could. My hands found their way down to his pants and my fingers fumbled with the belt. With little concentration I easily undid the device before moving straight to undoing the button and pulling down the zipper. I paused when Kanda pulled away and I heard him deeply chuckle.

 

“Needy are we my little Moyashi?” He asked his mouth right by my ear his hot breath dancing over the skin. I felt a shudder rush through me.

 

“I want you inside me Kanda.” I breathed out locking my eyes with his.

 

“Soon.” He whispers bringing his hand up and brushing it along my cheek before pushing it into my hair and his lips were upon mine again. This time he was more needy, his tongue licked across my bottom lip and I immediately granted him entrance into my mouth. Our mouths moved against each other as our tongues danced in a silent waltz. I wrapped my arms around Kanda moving the tips of my fingers up and down his spine. I felt shudders course through him as I did so. Kanda broke away from the kiss and burried his face into the crook of my neck. I felt his knee press against me in between my legs. Then sensation caused me to arch my back and I pressed my fingers into Kanda.

 

“I love you so much Allen. I never want to loose you.” He whispers and his voice seems far away like he was unknowingly speaking his mind. I felt tears spring to my eyes. Maneuvering my arms I managed to grab onto his head and force him to look at me. His eyes seemed so sad, just as sad as the day when everyone found out I was a cutter.

 

“You're never going to loose me Kanda. I'm right here, with you forever.” I said brushing his bangs from in front of his eyes. I watched as they fell right back into place. Slowly a smile danced its way across his face.

 

“I know you're right here, but I have this nagging feeling that tells me that I'm going to loose you.” He says bringing his hand up and cupping my cheek, my eyes slid closed as I relished in his warm touch. I leaned my head into his touch bringing my own hand up and placing it onto his.

 

“Stop listening to it then. I will always be yours.” I whisper opening my eyes staring straight into his. Kanda next wrapped his arms around my shoulders his mouth crushing onto mine. My hands rested onto his upper arms. I felt him roll us over until I was laying on him. I pushed my fingers into his hair opening my mouth and pushing my tongue into his. I let the kiss only last for a few moments before I was kissing down his neck and back up again.

 

“Kanda, Tyki will never have me. I'm no longer afraid and I plan to from now on to fight.” I said stepping off of him and stood by the bed watching him watch me. I leaned forward and trailed my hands along his legs back up to the buttons of his pants. I slowly undid them.

 

“I won't let him near you Allen.” He says.

 

“But there will come a time when he is and I want you to believe in me that I can fight back and protect myself. I want to be strong again.” I say closing my eyes with a smile on my face. I pulled Kanda's pants down along with his boxers. I heard him gasp as cold air hit his hardening erection.

 

“You are strong Allen, you just have to believe in yourself.” He says pushing himself up onto his arms. His eyes held something I haven't seen before. It was like he was admiring me. I stood sideways and looked to the floor dropping my arms to my sides and let the clothes slide from my hands.

 

“I do believe in myself, you've helped me achieve that Kanda and I thank you. You're the one I want to spend my whole life with.” I explain turning back to him locking my eyes with his again. I brought my hands up and fumbled with my own belt. My hands were so shacky I was unable to undo it. I watched Kanda stand to his feet and soon felt his hands on my own. He helped me undo my belt and we together pushed my pants and boxers down my legs until they hit my ankles.

 

We stood here both completely naked the moons light casting our bodies in a white glow. I lifted my hands and placed them onto Kanda's chest my fingers tracing over the tattoo that was there. I felt Kanda's hand brush against my cheek again before he cupped it forcing me to look up at him. His lips pressed against mine gently. I lifted my arms until they were wrapped around his neck and I pushed up onto my tiptoes. Kanda's fingertips trailed down along my spine stopping right at my waist wrapping his arms around me. He bent down until his arms were around my thighs and he stood back up lifting me into the air and carried me before placing me back onto the floor, my back pressed against the edge of the table.

 

“I want you for forever to....Moyashi.” He whispered pulling away.

 

“Same here.” I whispered back smiling. I felt myself get turned around and I giggled to myself letting myself bend over the table. Kanda's hands trailed down my back before trailing over my butt cheeks. I shudder ran up my spine and I let out a small moan. I stretched my arms out across the table and grabbed onto the edge feeling the tip of Kanda's manhood at my entrance.

 

“Take me.” I whisper out and not only seconds later did he push into me and I shuddered again this time a louder moan coming from my lips.

 

“Kanda please.” I begged and he began to move in and out of me. It felt so good I couldn't help but moan for him.

 

I moaned for more.

 

Kanda trailed one of his hands back up my back and pushed his fingers into my hair grabbing onto a big chunk of it. He soon pulled my head back and I couldn't help but love the sensation it sent through me. His other hand was wrapped around my waist and he began to speed up his thrusts.

 

“Kanda harder!” I moaned out and he complied, he rammed so far into the tip of his manhood hit against something. More and more shudders rushed through me. My mouth was hung open and I could feel a bit of saliva travel down the side of my mouth down to my chin. I panted heavily and I wanted nothing more but to move my hips with his but I couldn't.

 

“Kanda!” I screamed out when his manhood hit something within me. I heard a deep chuckle come from him and ever thrust after that hit that exact spot. I began to see white spots and I gripped much tighter onto the edge of the table until my knuckles turned white.

 

“Scream my name Allen, I'm coming close.” Kanda panted speeding up his thrusts again.

 

“Kanda!!!” I screamed out and I heard him chuckle again. I began to wander why. He leaned over me until his mouth was near my ear.

 

“I want you to scream my true name.” He said and once again he was back to standing straight up. I felt my eyes widen, shocked that he wanted me to call out his true name.

 

“Hurry Allen!” He said and I bit my lip.

 

“YU!!!” I screamed out and I felt him release into me. I felt all my muscles relax instantaneously. Kanda helped me up and soon I was being carried in his arms. My arms were lightly wrapped around his neck and I starred into his eyes. They were so happy.

 

“I love you so much.” He said kissing my cheek turning around and carried me the two steps back over to the bed. He lowered me down onto it before climbing in beside me.

 

“I love you to.” I say back pushing myself towards him and snuggling into his chest. My smile instantly vanished from my face and I bit my lip. What I was planning to do was going to change everything.

 

I could only hope that Kanda would forgive me.

 

 

**OMG what was supposed to be two pages turned into four pages! YAY! I am so proud of myself**


	43. Chapter 43

Chapter 43- Give Her

 

I had to do this and tonight be the only time I had. What I was already doing was risky. Slowly but surely I was crossing the line. I lay there, closed my eyes and focused on where I wanted to go. I had to talk to Allen cause I know he would listen and believe me. My body ached but I this was an escape from reality.

 

_Slowly I drifted along the dream way paths, and eventually I heard Tyki and he was taunting Allen. I decided to stay hidden and listen. I would get back at Tyki, someday, but right now Allen was the one who needed my help._

 

“ _Now, Allen. I'm cold, and only you can warm me up.” He says in the dark tone of his, that he like to taunt with._

 

“ _Don't come near me.” Allen says strongly but you can tell there is fear in his voice._

 

_That does not stop him from walking to him, so I create the barrier and the next thing I see was so funny. HE walked right into it and fell backwards, Allen's face was priceless but it was Tyki that made me smile. HE got back up and placed his hands on the invisible wall I had created._

 

“ _How did you make this?” He shouts at Allen, but Allen just stands there felling the wall from behind him. “I swear, Road and I will find a way to take down this wall.”_

 

“ _I don't know how I made this or even if it was me.” Allen says happily and smiles._

 

“ _I will be back and when I do, you will be mine.” HE says and dissapears._

 

“ _I wish I knew who did this.” Allen says walking to where Tyki had been standing and then I make my way behind him._

 

“ _Allen.” Was the only thing I could say to him and then to see him turn around, his face looked as if he had seen a ghost._

 

“ _Asarina, what happened to you?” was the first thing he said. “What have they done to you? The bruise on your face?”_

 

“ _What bruise?” I ask him and move my hand to cover it and imagined it had not been there,then I smiled at him._

 

“ _What is going on?” He says and I can tell he was worried._

 

“ _Nothing is going on, but I need you to do me a favor or two.” I tell him and know this is not going to end well._

 

“ _What type of favors?” He asked me and looks confused._

 

“ _First one, I want you to get Kalira and Narul to my father.” I tell him and I can feel the tears coming down. “The second to give up on looking for me.”_

 

“ _You know I can not do that. Your father said Kalira was pretty safe here and Narul went to look for you. AS, for giving up on you, that is something I will never do.” He shouts out and now he is starting to tear up, “I woke up, only to find that you were taken.”_

 

“ _I was not taken.” I yell back, “I went willingly to save Cross form being killed.”_

 

“ _What are they doing to you?” He asked and I can see the tears falling from his eyes._

 

“ _Allen, I might not make it out of here alive. I want my children to be safe and with my family.” I say to him and I try to hold back the thoughts of losing my son and daughter._

 

“ _You will make it out alive, you have to. Everyone is devastated that you and Narul are gone. Komui hardly sleeps and is always doing paper work.” He says in full blown tears now._

 

“ _Allen, you have to understand. I might be dead in a few days or even weeks. I don't know how much longer my body can take this.” I tell him straight forward. “Narul will be back soon. HE will never find the ark. It has been almost 2 months. It is hopeless.”_

 

“ _HE thinks he will and he has hope, even we have faith in him.” He says and wipes the tears from his eyes, “You have to live for Kalira, Narul, Komui, me and the everyone else.”_

 

“ _I'm sorry Allen but this is where we part.” I tell him and then I push him out of the dream world._

 

_I then travel to the dream that has kept me going and the one dream I wish was my reality, but it will never happen. How can it become real if I'm stuck in this place, but in this world, I am free to be with the ones I love and be happy. After tonight, I will have crossed the line._

 

**Allen's POV**

 

“NO!” I scream out jumping to a sitting position. My breathing was heavy and it was erratic. Did that really just happen? Was Asarina just there?

 

“Allen are you alright?” I heard Kanda ask before there was a hand on my shoulder. I began to rapidly shack my head.

 

“You wouldn't understand even if I told you Kanda!” I said getting up from the bed and began to pace in the room.

 

“Well you don't know that unless you try to tell me Allen.” He said and I sigh coming to a stop and I turned to face him.

 

“I think I just saw Asarina something is happening to her and we need to do something. First though I need to confirm some questions I have, but there is only one person who can answer them.

 

“Who would that be Moyashi?” Kanda asked and I sighed, I began going about the room pulling my clothes on and throwing Kanda's his.

 

“Get dressed we're going to go talk to my shishou.” I say hopping about the room trying to get my pants on.

 

“Allen it is two in the morning don't you think he'll kill us if we wake him up?” He asks and I give him a blank look.

 

“This is about Asarina Kanda, these answers may help me figure out a way to rescue her.” I say and soon Kanda is standing from the bed and getting his clothes on.

 

“Alright, lets go then.” He says and I smile taking his hand into mine and quietly stepping into the hallway shutting our door behind us.

 

We walked in silence down the hallway. It was just so weird, first I was being harrassed by Tyki and then next thing I knew I was talking to Asarina. I couldn't believe that she wanted us to give up on searching for her. That was not going to happen and I was going to make sure Kalira had her mom growing up. Soon we were standing before my shishou's bedroom door and I sucked in a breath before lifting my hand up. Before I could knock Kanda grabbed onto it.

 

“You sure you want to do this?” He asks and I sigh shacking my head that I was sure. Letting out a sigh Kanda releases my hand. I begin to pound on the door.

 

“Cross get up I need to talk to you!” I shouted next and I swear if Kanda hadn't been next to me the noises from inside would have scared me away. Soon the door swung open and there stood a very tired looking Cross wearing black flannel pajama's. It took everything in me to not laugh.

 

“This had better be good my stupid apprentice!” He hissed and all I could do was smile slightly. Soon I sighed and the smile vanished.

 

“I need to know if Asarina can dream walk Shishou.” I ask and everything falls quiet, I watch my shishou run his hand over his face before reaching to the side table by his door and lighting up a cigarrette.

 

“I wouldn't know apprentice.” He answers and I just stare at him, this couldn't be happening. I needed to figure this out quickly.

 

“Then who would know?!” I ask reaching out and grabbing onto the front of his shirt.

 

“That person would be her father and there is no way I am going to let you pester him!” He said pushing me off of him and began to close the door to go back to bed.

 

“Shishou you don't understand! Knowing could help save her! She just came to me in a dream and she looked like she had been through torture! Please you have to call him! I'll take the blame!” I shouted pressing my hands against the door to try and keep it open. The door paused and soon it opened again.

 

“He dragged you into this as well?” He asked Kanda, I looked back and watched Kanda sigh before nodding his head. Looking back Cross sighed again before closing the door again and I felt myself get depressed. Not moments later he came back out in normal clothes.

 

“Come on then let's get this over with!” He said and we began to follow him down the hallway. I was so glad we were doing this. I just hope it's not that late where ever Asarina's father lives.

 

Cross POV

 

I could not believe what was happening to me at two in the fucking morning. First Allen jumps on me, tells me I have to call Shaun cause he saw Asarina in the dream world, and now I am in the office dialing his number, praying that no one answers.

 

“Allen, you do know the person to call Shaun at this time of night was never heard from again?” I tell my idiot apprentice.

 

“Tell him I forced you to call him then.” Was his reply. I could only shake my head and listen for someone to pick.

 

“Hello, Chi residents how can I direct your call.” A male voice answered and now I was getting nervous.

 

“I need to speak to Shaun please, Its General Cross.” I say calmly but I knew this was a bad idea.

 

“The Golden Dragon is sleeping Cross, but I will see if we can get him up. He did give us strict orders that if you called to patch you through.” The guys said almost laughing but all I could do was hope they did not wake him up.

 

The line went silent and I could see Allen just waiting for his questions to be answered, but I all could think of was not being killed. Kanda already wanted to go back to bed but I could tell he just wishes the contract would be over and done with.

 

“Allen, I do not think he will get up.” I say and that is when I heard the click. I knew I was going to get.

 

“CROSS, what in the name of hell are you doing calling this late at night.” Shaun almost screams into the phone.

 

“Shaun, do you remember Allen?” I ask him trying not to get mad.

 

“IS that the white haired boy who was horny and was servilely drugged with vex34?” He asks and I can only shake my head. Kanda was now pissed.

 

“Is that all you can remember about him.” Kanda screams and I jut hope that Shaun forgot him.

 

“Was that the pony tailed guy who I forced to sign a contract. If so, he better shut before I send him on a wild goose chase.” Shaun says angrily and this makes Kanda face go like bring it.

 

“Who would I be chasing down? I can find anyone.” Kanda says in frustration.

 

“Really, you could find Narul in five days?” Was Shaun quick remark, “HE be in Russia but by the time you got there he could be in Egypt.”

 

“Kanda, just keep your mouth shut.” Allen screams at him and I try not to laugh.

 

“But to answer your question, yes. The white haired boy is Allen.” I say and now I know things might be okay. “Something happened and you might be the only one who can answer his questions. I tried but I don't know the answers.”

 

“Okay, fire them away, Allen.” Shaun says calmly and let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Can Asarina dream walk?” Allen asks in a nervous tone.

 

“Why do ask that.” Was Shaun response but his voice was now a cryptic tone as if he was hiding something. I knew him far to well and that was the problem.

 

“She just appeared in my dream and she was badly bruised. I can dream walk to but I did not leave my head.” He says in a scared tone. “Not only that she seemed confused.”

 

“Cross, you better be prepared when she comes back.” Shaun says in a defeated tone. “She can dream walk, and she can even kill people in the dream world. She started her training when she you only four. The earlier you start training, the more powerful you become.”

 

'What do you by when she comes back?” I ask in great concern, after all I am her god father.

 

“Do you remember when she got caught and was tortured for those two weeks?” Shaun asked and I knew what he was referring to.

 

“Yes, I remember that she was hysterical and unsure of things, You said it was from the torture she had to endure.” I say and I wonder where he is going with this.

 

“There is a fine line with dream walking, and Allen you better listen to this for your protection. There is a line between the dream world and the reality. You can cross that line in many ways but is you do, the risk is you are not able to tell the two worlds apart.” He replied and I just froze at that.

 

“Are you saying she crossed that line once.” I yell and now I pissed that he kept that from me.

 

“Yes but it was only slightly, This time may be difficult, or impossible to get her back to normal.” He tells me and by the sound of his voice, it was a fear of his.

 

“That is terrible, but what makes you sure she will come here.” Allen says out of curiosity.

 

“You have Kalira and Narul will not bring Asarina to me with out his sister.” Shaun says and I know this to be true. “Well, I need to get back to sleep.”

 

With that said, he hangs up and I just put the phone down. Looking at Allen's face was just upsetting, but Kanda was still pissed that Shaun almost sent him on a mission to find Narul. I can only go over to my apprentice and place my hand on his shoulder. I knew there was nothing to do but wait till she returned, but that was if she returned.

 

“Allen, just try to go back to bed.” I tell him and begin to walk to the door where Kanda was standing, “Try not to get mad if starts Talking about her.” I tell Kanda and walk out.

 

I walk back to my room and once inside I grab a bottle of wine, open it and start drinking. When she came back, it was going to be difficult but then again was she ever coming back. I know Narul would be returning soon to check on Kalira or even worse take her to Shaun. That would only make Allen upset and cause Komui to go deeper into his already terrible depression. I had given up on talking to him but at least he sometimes comes to join us for lunch and dinner, and the fact that he is now sleeping in his bed and not at his desk. My only hope was that Narul came back with her, but even then would not truly have her back.

 


	44. Chapter 44

Chapter 44- my soul

 

Asarina pov

 

I lay here in the dark, trying to figure out where I am and if im awake or asleep. Im not to sure what is reality and what is just the imaginary world of dreams. There is one thing I know for sure, I am Asarina Chi, the Night Tracker, I have a dragon for a son named Narul and my daughter is Kalira, and I gave up my freedom for my god father, Cross.

 

I slowly start to sit up, and look at my wrist to see the bruises. Its hard to tell what is new and what is old. I have so many that I cant remember who gave them to me. I get up and look in the mirror, my face also has bruises. I was once strong, and determined, but now I feel broken and defeated.

 

Looking around, I notice a change in the room. High above me is a window, I can smell the flowers and the fresh air and I can even hear the wind. Oh how I long to be like the wind, to be free and go where ever I wanted. Deep down I know I can not last much longer, but also deep down the fire still burns, not sure how long it will stay lit.

 

To think my life has come to this. I know im the dream but is is possible that this is actually reality. I dont know anymore as to what is going on or why they are doing this to me. So what if that man is her father and I told him several time she will never know you. All that does is make him hurt me more. Then there is Tyki, who is just as worse but he is quicker and it has become harder to dodge his attacks.

 

I walk to the wall so I can see out the window, and sink to the floor in tears. I now know what I must do. Im going to piss off Tyki to the point where he will kill me. I can not stand being trapped here, and I don't think life is worth living if you are trapped in a cage. Yet, if die then who will take care of Kalira and Narul. Why does this have to be so hard? I just want my life back, and to be with my family.

 

I suddenly find my self quickly getting to my feet. For a brief moment, I though I saw my son, but that would be impossible, for he should be at the order protecting his sister. Maybe my mind is slipping father than I thought, but after three months of this torture. I need to find a way out and fast but I know it is hopeless.

 

Narul Pov

 

I could not believe it, I had finally had caught my moms scent, and the ark. She looked in bad shape and I had to get her out. I took off in a hurry and headed to the west, toward Paris. I had to get back and fast but I knew if I grew to my bigger size, they would notice me and then try to stop me. So in my little form I stayed.

 

I flew for about four hours before I stopped at a pond to get a drink and think about things. For one I did leave, two I was no longer mad at Cross or Kanda, three I was still mad at Lenalee, four I found the ark and five I found my mom.

 

Those things I knew for sure but the question became who would actually help me get her out of the ark and back to safety. Right now I should be focusing on getting back to the order, and telling everyone. I thought about going back for her but I would not be able to make it out of there in one piece. They only I could do was to get back in the sky and continue west.

 

I knew I was heading in the right direction when I saw the train tracks and villages that were on the outskirts of Paris. All I could think about was how I had succeeded in finding the ark and my mom. Finally after another four hours of flying, I could see the order. The first thing I do is land in fountain and I jut lay there, out of breath and very tired. At least I knew in my bigger form I could get back to the ark in about four hours vs the eight hours I just spent.

 

I lay in the water for about ten minutes, and then decided to get out. I tried to fly but my wings were very sore and stiff. I should have rested a lot more than just that one time. I was hungry, so I grew a little bigger since I had to climb the stairs to get food. I was not looking forward to the climb but I had to do it.

 

As I crawled up the stairs and walked down the hallways, I noticed that things have not changed in the three months since I had been gone. Although no one seemed to notice that I was back. I did not care at this moment but I learned many things while I was alone and I seem to have a better understanding of the world in away. For hings happen and there is nothing you can do to stop them. Another thing I learned was some times you have to forgive and forget things. I had for given Cross and Kanda but I was not ready you forgive Lenalee.

 

I was almost to the cafeteria, when I felt my legs getting numb and so I decided to stop. I need to rest and I needed food. That is when I hear the voices of Kanda, Lenalee and Allen walking toward me cause it was lunch time. Maybe they would see me?

 

“Allen, I miss Narul so much and wish I could tell him how sorry I was.” She said as they passed me, but then I saw Kanda look back and they only thing I could do was smile.

 

“Narul” He yells and goes over to pick me up, Allen and Lenalee are right behind him. “When did you get back?”

 

“About an hour ago, my wings are sore, my legs hurt from climbing up the stairs, im hungry and tired.” I tell them in a sleepy voice.

 

“Allen, take Narul to the infirmary, Kanda go order him some steaks and I will go to tell my brother that he is back.” She says and leaves.

 

“Allen, take him to the head nurse.” Kanda says and passes me to Allen, “How many steaks do you want?”

 

“I want thirty steaks.” I tell him and then Allen starts walking away.

 

“You had us all worried.” Allen says in a kind voice but I was still unsure as to why.

 

“I was fine, and I did not get into trouble.” I tell him and I was deciding weather to tell him I found the ark but I was not ready to tell anyone yet. Komui would be the first one I was going to tell.

 

We stayed quiet for the rest of way but I could tell that Allen was thinking. I guess he was happy I was back but still there was something off about him. Maybe I'm just too tired and my mind was loopy. Then again the only thing on my mind was my mom. Then next thing I knew we were in the infirmary and I heard a scream.

 

“When did he get here?” The head nurse says in shock at seeing me in the state I was in. “Put him on that bed and I will be right back with an iv kit. The poor guy looks dehydrated.”

 

“Allen, I have something to tell you.” I say as he places me on the bed.

 

“Not now buddy, you need to get better.” He says and just sits next to me.

 

“But it is important. I need you to give this message to the dummy head.” I tell him in the most urgent way I could.

 

“Okay, go ahead and tell me.” HE says and moves closer.

 

“I found my mom, and know the location of the ark.” I say as my eyes close.


	45. Chapter 45

Chapter 45- Let them take Somebody Else

 

**Allen's POV-**

 

I was walking to visit Narul, he had come back only a few days ago and he found the ark. After 3 months of being gone he found his mother, and what was worse he had told only me. Now here i was going to convince him to take me there. Once I open the door, I find the place in total chaos. I see the head nurse staring up at the rafters. I notice that Narul is not in his bed.

 

"Get down here you fire breathing monster." The head nurse screams while pointing her finger up. At least I knew where Narul was.

"NO, I'm staying up here." He yells back her.

"Oh Allen you're here....Now get over here and help me!" The Head Nurse said once she noticed me by the open door. I could only blink at her after she told me to help her. This was a situation I was hoping to not get into especially since I was trying to get Narul alone.

"I don't think so ma'am.....Come on Narul I have the door open!" I shouted to Narul trying to get him to fly down over to me so I could in a way rescue him. I was surely going to die since I was helping him and not the head nurse. Kanda would be so proud.

 

"Why are you helping him?" She screams. "That thing will not let me put the IV back in him. He yanked it out and flew up there."

 

"Well if he's flying around and talking the way he is, it's obvious he's back to normal. He doesn't need the IV." I scream back at her, I swear this old woman can be a pain in the ass sometimes!

 

"That's right Allen," Screams Narul from up above, "I'm perfectly fine, and i want Komui in here right now."

 

"Well Komui is busy you little monster, GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW SO I CAN CHECK YOUR VITALS!" The Head Nurse practically roars and if it were anyone else but Narul and I they'd probably run off scared.

 

"Allen, tell her to leave me alone and i won't come down here. I want my mommy and i need to see my sister." Narul screams and i swear i saw fire come out of his mouth.

 

"Look Narul I have the door wide open and you have enough room to fly out of here. You have your chance now take it!" I scream back at him, the look the head nurse gave me was bone chilling. Most likely the next time I come here she's probably going to make my experience very painful.

 

"Come on Narul hurry before the head nurse kills me!" I beg shivering from how evil her look was. No wonder everyone hates staying here, she's scary as fuck!

 

He take his chance and i see him fly out of here like a bat out of hell. Which I could not blame him, after leaves then i bolt out as well. I find sitting on the stairs and catching his breath.

 

"Thanks," He tells me and crawls on my lap. "Did you tell Komui yet?"

 

"Did I tell Komui what?" I ask tilting my head to the side, I had a feeling I knew what he was talking about, but I didn't want to recognize it. I rested my hand on his head and gently pet him. He's been through so much

 

"I found my mom and that means i found the ark. I asked you to tell before i fell a sleep." He tells me with an attitude

 

"You told me you found your mom and the Ark but you never told me to tell anyone. And Narul I don't think it's a good idea to tell anyone." I say to him, I was going to hate to do this, but it needed to be done. In the end there was probably going to be a lot of angry people.

 

"Why not, if we don't tell anyone then how can we storm the place and free her." HE tells me, "Allen, she has bruise marks on her face."

 

"I know, I saw her in the dreamscape already." I tell him and sigh.

 

"Komui hasn't been in the right state of mind and he might rush things and screw everything up. Cross and Kanda they'd storm the place without thinking and the Noah's will probably run with your mom and we'd be back to phase one." I begin to explain I was beginning to get nerves but I take a deep breath to calm myself then continue.

 

"Finally Lenalee is still in the I'm not speaking to you mode so she'd be no help and Lavi well he'd just do whatever Lenalee is doing. I have a better plan, but I'd need you to trust me." I finish saying to him hopefully he'd listen to me.

  
"Maybe you are right. Komui has been distant from everyone, Kanda could careless about my mom, Cross would probably let her get taken again, and if Lenalee is mad at me then Lavi will follow him cause mommy said one time that Lavi was pussy whipped." He tells me and then he gives me these eyes, "So what do we do first?"

  
  


"First we need to make up something to everyone on why we're leaving the Order for a while. You know how protective Kanda can be, but I think we can get out." I begin to explain bringing my hand up to my chin and began to think.

 

"How far away is the Ark?" I then ask, I needed to know as much details as possible.

 

"Well it should take me about 4 or 5 hours to get there in a bigger form, and there was hunting ground not to far away. I caught about 12 squirrels there." He tells me with a smile and i knew i had gained his trust.

 

"We could always say we are going to the hunting ground. Which is two hours east but o make sure they do not follow us we say north. Start to head north and then use the trees to circle around to the east."

 

"That sounds like a great idea and everyone would by since they would think you need some time to yourself to get fully back to normal. And we just tell them you want me to go so I can keep you company." I add to his plan to get out of the order, my plan might just work.

 

  
"Okay, lets go get my mom back but first i want to see my sister." He says happily but i know deep down i will only make him sad.

  
  


"Alright go see your sister, and I'll meet you at the front of the order. If I run into anyone I'll tell them that we're going to the new hunting grounds you found." I tell him with a smile. I sometimes scare myself at how easily I could lie. If anyone were to find out, it would be my head. While i was walking down the hall way, i noticed Lenalee storming out of her brother office again. I could not believe that even though Narul was back he was still depressed.

"Allen, where are you heading?" She questioned me

 

"I'm heading to the front gate. After Narul goes to see his sister I'm going to keep him company while he goes to his new hunting grounds he found." I instantly explain surprised with myself that I could lie so easily.

  
"Wait a minute, when did he get out of the infirmary?" She asks and i could tell with was going to be difficult. "Are you sure it is a good idea for him to be leaving?"

 

"He's talking and flying normally I don't see why he has to stay in the infirmary. Narul is a big boy he knows his own limits." I tell her, sometimes I hate how nosy she could be, but that's Lenalee for you.

 

"Well, i really don't think he should be out. What if he tries to leave again." She tells me.

"You do know she is right." I hear Cross say as he joins us

 

"Don't worry he's not, I'm going to stick by him like white on rice. I'm going with him to the hunting grounds. I doubt he's going to leave me out there or kidnap me. Trust him a bit more Lenalee, Cross, he came back that should be enough." I tell them, I was keeping my voice normal. On the outside to them I would be acting like my normal self, but on the inside I was void of all my emotions and that scared me a little.

  
"Well, maybe Kanda would love to hear where you are going." Cross says as i notice Kanda sitting outside talking to Narul. I hope Narul can keep a secret.

  
  


"It's not like I'm going on a mission or anything! Besides I can take care of myself just fine!" I shout and then notice the looks they both give me and it was obvious they didn't believe me then I notice at the same time they each look down to my arms.

"I learned my lesson I know better you guys! I can't be locked up all the time I need to get out of here every once in a while. I'll be with Narul and he is more than capable of protecting me if Tyki shows up!" I shout at them again, I couldn't believe on how they were treating me. I knew Kanda would be coming over her any minute now. This was turning out to be a pain.

  
"So, Narul tells me that you two are going to hunt and i am not allowed to come? Are you hiding something from me, moyashi?" Kanda asks and i am relieved that Narul did not spill anything about the ark.

 

"I'm not hiding anything from you Kanda. I'm just going to go spend some time with Narul and keep him company. We'll be back in a few hours." I tell him. I hated lying to Kanda, but for us to get out I had to. I felt a painful pang go through my chest and it wanted me to spill everything, but I couldn't. For my plan to work it had to be this way.

 

"Bye, Bye and there is a surprise when we get back." Narul says as i hope him and then we take off.

 

"MOYASHI!" I hear Kanda scream but I don't look back. Once I knew we were far away enough I look back letting out the breath I was holding. Things were about to get bad. All I could hope was that everyone would forgive me.

"Lets go Narul, let's go save your mom." I then say patting him and looking straight ahead. It was now or never and I sure hope this was going to work.

  
We flew for about four hours before he landed. then he shrunk to a medium sized form. I guess he wanted to look threatening than cute. HE was determined and he looked like he wanted to kill.

 

"Dont worry, we are not far." HE tells me and starts walking. the only thing i could do was follow him. We were in a dense forest and I could that there was a building up ahead. I couldn't believe that the Noah's were so close and we didn't even know it. I took another deep breath to cool down my nerves and kept in step with Narul. Everything was so eerily quiet, not a sound could be heard except for the echo of our footsteps.

 

"Well they sure did choose a creepy enough place to hide." I finally spoke up trying to lighten up the mood even a tad bit.

 

"I do not think this is the ark. I think it is an illusion. I had passed this way when i left and before it was a ruined building." He tells me and keeps looking around. It does not surprise me at all, he was raised by an assassin and lived with Shaun. So i can see why he was cautious.

 

"That makes sense. The Noah's sure are sneaky." I say fisting my hands into fists. I was ready for anything to be thrown at us. Hell I was expecting Tyki to pop any moment now especially with how close I was to the hiding place they were using.

 

"Allen, get a grip." Narul says, "We need to be alert and figure out how we are getting in."

 

"I am alert and I just figured we'd go up and knock on the front door. Everything is fine, I got it all under control." I tell him, but to be honest I was scared shitless. I couldn't believe I was actually going through with this!

 

"Why go to the front door, when we are trying to rescue someone? Most of the time we sneak in and get out before we are caught." He tells me as if he had a for sure plan.

 

"Yea if there was more of this. I know what I am doing and I'm going to throw at them something they'd never expect. Trust me Narul this is going to work." I tell him, we were coming up to the door soon. Any minute now and I'd be putting my plan to work.

 

"Allen, is this really a good idea? Maybe we should go, get Kanda and then come back." He says in a weird tone

 

"Narul we went over this if we brought anyone else they'd just rush in and we'd loose the chance of rescuing your mom." I tell him, I couldn't believe that he was having second thoughts already. No I wasn't going to go back not with how close we were right this very moment.

 

"I still it would have been nice if they waited for us casue if we all went hunting. they could follow us and just keep out of sight like my mom and her companions do when they go after a target." He explains

 

"Narul what is this all about? It's not like you to have second thoughts. We can do this." I tell him, I was so confused usually he was all gun ho when he made up his mind on something.

 

"I'm just thinking of how my mom would have done this and i know for a fact she would have brought backup." He snarls at me.

 

"Don't snarl at me Narul. I have a plan and it's going to work! We don't need the others. We can prove to them we can do anything including with facing off against the Noah's and rescuing your mom!" I try another approach to this, I couldn't believe we were having this argument.

"Besides we've already come this far! We can't go back." I tell him.

  
"Yes we can, i can grow big enough to carry Kanda, Cross, LenaLee and Lavi. It will only take two hours to get there and back." He says to me. "What is your plan?"

 

"My plan is to get your mom back in a more civil way that would cause less harm to anyone! We can do this Narul! Why do you want to go back all of a sudden! This is not like you!" I was so frustrated that I lost a bit of my cool. I paused then took a deep breath to calm myself down again. This was so nerve racking.

 

"I just don't want to loose her again. The more and more i think about, the more this seems like a trap." He tells me in a timid tone. I pause from walking and look down at Narul. I knew what he was feeling and I sigh kneeling down to the ground next to him.

"Narul trust me when I say this. We are not going to loose your mom again. You can trust me." I say reaching out and patting him lightly on the head.

 

"I do trust you but i don't trust the bastards inside. What if they put me in cage and take you. Then Tyki will hurt you." He says fast

 

"They are not going to put you in a cage Narul. I wouldn't allow them to do that. Come on I'll carry you the rest of the way. If you're riding on my shoulder then we'll have even more control." I tell him standing back up to my feet and holding my hand out.

 

"Okay." He says shrinking, then flies up and lands on my shoulder. "I will grow bigger once we get to the door."

 

"Alright." I nod to him and pat him on the head once more. I begin to walk again coming to the end of the forest path staring up at the building that we were about to go into. I stood still in my spot for a moment before walking to the door. This was it and there was no going back. I raise my hand and bang on the door.

 

"HEY NOAH'S OPEN UP!" I shout at the door.

 

"Do you think they heard you?" Narul asks in a funny tone of voice. What a nice time for him to be sarcastic.

 

"I sure hope so, if not we'll go blasting in." I say looking down to my deformed arm hoping I wasn't going to have to use it.

 

"Try knowing again but this time scream. Hey Bastards open up or i will break down the door." He says laughing

 

I could only stare at Narul for a moment from what he said then I couldn't help the laugh that erupted. Gaining more courage I raised my hand and banged on the door.

"OPEN UP YOU BASTARDS!" I yelled, man I was going to get hurt for this.

  
"Allen, the door is opening." Narul said and jumped down only to grow bigger. This was it and there was no turning back. I could only hope by the end of this everyone would understand my reasoning for doing this.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sheril pov

 

I could not believe what I was seeing and I made me wonder if the Millennium Earl's plan would actually work. I have to admit he was a handsome devil when he told Lulu Bell and myself about his plan. I just never thought I would be seeing Allen Walker and that little dragon walking up our paths.

 

“Devit, can you believe what the screen is showing?” Jasdero shouted and I wish he would just calm down.

 

“What are you two idiots screaming about.” Our lord said walking into the room.

 

“Look at this.” Devit says showing him the camera footage.

 

“Well, this is a surprise. Devit, inform Tyki we will be having guests for lunch. Sheril find Lulu Bell and have her get Asarina ready, you may have to help Lulu Bell but after that escort our guest to the dinning room.” HE tells us and we all go.

 

I walked to the library where Lulu Bell and Road were. I open the door to see Road messing with Lero and Lulu Bell reading a book. This was to perfect, to see Road behaving like a child and she looked so adorable in her frilly pink dress.

 

“What so you want.” Lulu Bell asks and I snap out of my trance.

 

“Our Lord wants you to get Asarina ready.” I tell her and Road stops to look at me. “We are having guests.”

 

“Who are they?” My darling daughter asks me with a smile on her perfect face.

 

“Allen Walker and the dragon are here.” I say only to watch Lulu Bell put her book down and get up. Road's face was dancing with stars as we left.

 

“I trust you will be there to help me get her ready.” Lulu bell states and follows me down the hallway. “She is becoming more and more unpredictable.”

 

“ Yes I know that and it is so enjoyable to see her like this.” I tell her with as smile on my face.

 

“You are a moron sometimes.” She snaps at me but all I do is laugh.

 

“Her room is this way.” I say Pointing in the opposite diresction.

 

“I do have to get the outfit she has to wear.” She says and shakes her head walking into her room.

 

It did not take her that long to come out with the bag. I wanted to see what the Earl was going to force her to wear. Our little prisoner was about to be free and I hated to see her go but it was the plan of our Lord Millennium. We continued to walked to her room in silence. Once we reach it, Lulu Bell enters and we see Asarina sitting staring out the window.

 

“Asarina, we are having guests and you will be joining us.” Lulu Bell says and walks over to her.

 

“I'm not going.” She says and closes her eyes. “Just get out.”

 

“Would it help if Sheril left the room so you can get ready?” Lulu Bell asks and this makes me mad. Asarina shakes her head. “If I need your help, I will call for you, Just wait outside the door. IF you don't want him in here, cooperate and don't fight.”

 

I leave the room in disappointment for I wanted to see all the scares but I guess that would have to wait. I knew Asarina was afraid of me and that made her look incredibly hot in my eyes. I wonder what it would be like to hold her close and listen to her heart beat. I wonder why the earl never told us about her in the first place. I drove me mad that night when he flipped over the table after Tyki said her name. It sent goose bumps down my back and the fact she gave birth to a half Noah child was even more interesting.

 

The door opened and I saw her in the outfit Lulu Bell had put her in. It was a long choker collar red dress with a gold shimmer to it. I made me want to take her now but we had other ordeals. I left them walking to the door to fetch our guests. This was going to be the most wonderful day ever, and the best part was nothing could stop us. AS I approach the door I hear yelling for us to open the door.

 

“Welcome,” I say opening the door allowing both of them to enter. My smile gave Allen the creeps but the dragon only bared his teeth at me. After they entered I closed the door, “You two are just in time for lunch. Please follow me to the dinning area.”

 

The three of walked in silence but I could tell that something was spinning in the young exorcist head. The only problem was that I had no clue what he was thinking, but it had to do with why he came. I was wondering if this was a set up but it looked as if only the two of them came. It gave chills to wonder what their reaction would be on seeing our little caged bird covered in bruises. At the same time Tyki, my adorable and sexy brother, would get hot upon seeing Allen sitting at the table. The thought of that sent a wave of shivers down my back.

 

Once we get to the door, I open it and allow the guest to enter. “My Lord, Allen Walker and Narul are here.” I say and everyone just stops and stairs. Jasdero and Devit give each other the look of excitement, Wisely just smirks, Skinn just goes on eating chocolate but keeps eye contact, my lord is sitting just smiling, Road just giggles while she holds tight to Lero, and my brother just smiles with the mad look in his eyes that makes me want to kiss him. Lulu Bell and Asarina are no where to be seen, which makes me wonder if a grander entrance is needed for our caged bird.

 

“What a pleasure it is to you here Allen and you too, Narul.” My Lord says, “Please sit down and eat.”

 

“I would rather stand, and I came to here to discuss business with you.” Allen states with out fear despite the fact that Tyki is just a few chairs away.

 

“You have exactly 10 seconds to bring me my mom or I will start catching things on fire.” The little dragon bellows at us, but all does is cause us to laugh.

 

“Now, it is not nice to behave that way.” Wisley says turning his head to them, “Like that plan will work.” he continues and then goes back to eating.

 

“Hahahaha, this is good right Devit.” Jasdero says while Allen sits down in a chair and Narul sits on the table.

 

“Jas, don't get excited just yet. The fun part has yet to come.” Devit giggles and I all could do was shake my head at the two idiots.

 

“Now, your mother will be out shortly.” Lord Millennium tells them and everyone hushes.

 

“So, Shounen, what brings you to our domain.” I hear my brother ask Allen in a sexy tone. I would never guess that he would get so hot over a boy.

 

“That is none of your business. Besides it is between you Lord and me.” Allen quickly states.

 

“Now, Allen, you do have to behave.” Road giggles and I see her eyes twinkle.

 

That is when the door opened, we all turn to see Lulu Bell enter with Asarina behind her. I then turn to see how are guest would react. I noticed a few new bruises, perhaps Tyki did something but who cares at this point but I had to agree with Devit, the fun was still to come. I did not realize how Allen face would drastically change from being really shocked to very pissed as he clenched his fist. Then again I myself found it beautiful how Asarina looked with he head down and hands by her face as she tried to get a grip on herself. Tyki seemed amused at Allen reaction.

 

“MOM.” The little dragon screams as he flew from the table. His voice seemed to get Asarina's attention for she looked up and started to run towards him. None of made any attempt to stop her, after all he was flying, and she caught him in her arms.

 

“Narul, what area you doing here?” was her first question. “You should not be here, you can't be here in this nightmare.”

 

“Mom what have they done to you. I came to rescue you and Allen is here to.” The little guy says and points to Allen.

 

“You have to leave now, please get back to your sister but then again you are not really here.” She says and her face once again is in a state of utter confusion.

 

“What have you done to her.” Allen screams and the earl laughs while Tyki just smiles.

 

“What do you think we did, shounen?” Tyki says standing to his feet and walking over to Asarina, who was now on the floor fighting her mind as Wisely would say. “We broke her and now she is ours.” Then he lightly touches her shoulder and the look on Allen's face as she twitched in fear was breath taking.

 

“This has gone far enough.” He screams and starts walking toward them. It amazes me on how he would come here alone.

 

“Then, why are you not doing anything.” Wisley says and just stares at him. “If you just came to chit chat then leave.”

 

“I came here to make a deal with The lord Millennium.” He says and now everyone is watching.

 

“What kind of deal?” Our lord asks.

 

“You will release Asarina and allow Narul to take her back to the order.” He says with out hesitation or fear.

 

“Why would I do that? Why would I let her leave?” Our lord asks and smiles as if to say tell me more.

 

“If you let her go, I will stay here on my own free will.” HE states and the look on Tyki face made me want to kiss him.

 

“By giving up your freedom you understand that your innocence will be tested, you will have no contact with anyone from the order and do what ever we say.” Our lord says.

 

“I do understand and I will do those so long as you let her go.” HE says and I can see a smile dance over Roads face.

 

“By why are you doing this.” Tyki asks as if he was worried but in reality he could careless.

 

“No, Allen, you can not do this.” The dragon yells in horror at what Allen had recently said.

 

“Narul, I do not want you or Kalira growing up with our at least on parent. I never had a true family but you tow can.” Allen says as he walks closer to them.

 

“There has to be something else?” Devit says laughing.

 

“It also has to do with family. Asarina is my sister and I am will to trade my life for hers casue that is what family does, they look after one another.” HE says which causes us all to drop our jaws. THE next thing we see was Asarina stand to her feet and going after Allen.

 

“You can't do this. You just cant, think of Kanda and Cross.” She scream at his face.

 

“Im sorry but it is the only way to save you. Forgive for this.” He says and then hits a knock out point on her head. “DO we have a deal?”

 

“Yes, we have a deal.” Our lord says and Tyki goes over to Allen and places both hands on his shoulders and smiles wickedly. “Sheril, please carry Asarina outside and so Narul can take her home.

 

“Of course,” I say and gently scoop her up, “Come along little dragon before he changes his mind.”

 

“Allen, I will never forgive you for tricking me.” The little guy says in tears but it was adorable, and is soon flying beside me barring his teeth at me.

 

As we walk we remained silent and I could tell he wanted to go back for Allen but it would be useless. I had to tell the truth that he was set up. We finally reach the door and it was then I had to tell him that he would never again see Allen.

 

“You do realize that this was a set up, right. The window and as to why we never moved after we saw you? So,lets face it, this time you will not be able to find Allen.” I tell him as he grew bigger and held out his claw.

 

“I will find Allen. Place her down gently or I will bit your head off.” He threatens and I do as he says.

 

I watch him fly off and I could not help but smile. Our lords plan had worked and now we had Allen. This was going to be so much fun, and Tyki had his play toy. Now I could really see what Tyki does to Allen but all in all, this was a big success.

 

Narul Pov

 

I could not believe what had just happened. Allen had traded his freedom for my moms. I was not sure what to do. On the plus side I got my mom back but on the bad side Allen is not with me. This is why he did not want anyone coming cause they would have stopped his ass. Why did I not listen to my moms training and still bring backup. How could I let this happen, Kanda will never speak to me again. I had to stay calm and focus, first off I was flying to the ark with mom and no Allen. This was going to be bad.

 

I could see the tower and no sign of anyone looking for my return. I put my head to check on my mom and she was still sleep, which was good. I look up and see Cross with his spyglass. Im so fucked right now. I wanted to turn around but that would only cause Cross to call grandpa, which in turn he would call every safe house until he found which one we were at and then tell Cross. AS I approach the gates, I see a medical bed and I try to think of a lie to make Allen look heroic but I could not come up with anything. After landing I place my mom on the bed, I notice the looks on everyone's faces and they were all concerned. After they medic team team, they all turned to look at me and I just shrunk.

 

“NARUL.” Kanda screamed and that made me do was hide my head under wings.

 

“Kanda,, can you not see that he is scared and you yelling at him is not going to help.” Cross scream at him and that only makes me wish I was back in the sky.

 

“Narul,” I hear Lenalee say as she picks me up, “Can you tell us what happened?” I poke my head out to see Kanda is very mad, Cross is worried as shit, Lavi is waiting for me to speak and Lenalee is trying to calm me down, but I am not sure if they want to hear the truth. “Please, we want to help.”

 

“Do you want the truth or a made up story?” I quietly ask and just wait for a response.

 

“If you want you can sugar coat it.” Lavi says trying to joke with me but that only ends up with Kanda smacking him upside the head.

 

“Allen tricked me, the end” I say and I try not cry but I can feel tears coming from my eyes.

 

“Narul, tell us how you were tricked.” Cross says and I can tell I am not going to be able to get away from this like I normally do.

 

“It started when I first came back, and before I fell asleep I told Allen I had found the location of where the bastards were keeping my mom.” I say only to find Kanda now stair at me and that made me feel awkward.

 

“So then what happened after.” Kanda says trying to sound mad.

 

“He told me that he had a plan to get her back, but no one else could come.” I say trying to figure out a way to sugar coat the rest.

 

“Why could we not come.” Lenalee asked and I can feel her hand on my back trying to tell me that everything is okay.

 

“Allen said that Cross and Kanda would only rush in recklessly, Lenalee was still not going to help me and Lavi would follow her and Komui was in no condition make a decision.” I say and I really wish I could fly away right now .

 

“That sounds like Allen had a plan this whole time.” Cross says in a rather blunt tone. “Then what happened.”

 

“Then we went flying and went to rescue my mom.” I say only to find Kanda pointing to them.

 

“See, I told you he was up to something but you all did not believe me at all.” He says in a I am the boss tone.

 

“Once inside, we saw my mom and how she was acting, Allen made a deal and I came back with my mom, the end.” I say hoping to avoid telling them the deal.

 

“What was the deal?” Cross says in a tone that makes me realize I can not escape from telling them.

 

“The deal was if they let her go, he would stay there.” I say and now I am very nervous about the next part.

 

“Why would he do that?” Lavi asks placing his hand on Lenalee's shoulder.

 

“HE said he did not want Kalira and me to grow up without our mom. He also said that family is very important and you do things to protect them.” I say trying to remember exactly why he said those things.

 

“Okay, anything else we should now about.” Lenalee asks.

 

“Yeah is it true that Allen is my moms brother.?” I ask and that puts both Kanda and Cross on edge to a staring contest.

 

“You caved didn't you ?” Cross yells to Kanda.

 

“No I would never tell him that and plus I went through an interrogation from hell.” Kanda scream back.

 

“Then how did he find out.” Cross says and just starts to wonder. “In any case we should go check on Asarina.”

 

“Okay have fun, ill be in the dojo.” Kanda says but is stopped my Cross.

 

“Kanda as much as you hate her, you owe Allen to make sure his sister is alright.” Lenalee stats and walks over to him giving him the eyes of doom.

 

Eventually we all head down there. I think she hit a nerve with Kanda but im more upset that I let my uncle get taken by the same bastards that took my mom. As we come to the infirmary, we see Komui come out and quickly close the door. He was covered I blood and that put everyone on edge.

 

“Brother, what happened?” Lenalee asks and he turn around to only sigh.

 

“Asarina woke up, grabbed a knife and stabbed two nurse. Trying to sedate her was pretty difficult.” He tell us and Cross just looks worried as hell. “Cross you might be the only able to convince her that she is safe. She believes she is still in the ark.”

 

“Don't worry, I will be able to get through to her.” Cross says as if determined to bring her back the woman he knows.

 

“In any case, do you know what happened to Allen yet. I do not Asarina is going to be much help.” Komui says.

 

“Narul told us and apparently Allen knew that Asarina and him are siblings.” Kanda says and looks at me. “I don't think Narul wish to repeat the story again.”

 

“That's fine Cross you can tell me. Lets go the office.” Komui says and soon both of them are walking away.

 

“Come on, lets go see your sister.” Lenalee says and begins to walk with Lavi behind her, and Kanda just goes the other way. “Don't worry Kanda will be fine.”

 

I wanted to say something to him but I just could not. I had betrayed him and everyone in the order, which in his eyes makes me just like my mom. I should have listened to her training and maybe we would still have Allen. What was I going to do? I knew I was going to avoid Kanda and I was not going to like that at all.

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Strawberry Gashes**

 

**Hey everyone so I have put this chapter off for a while now. I didn't have a good idea on how I should do it but here I am giving it an attempt now. This is going to be a hard chapter for me and to be honest I am not looking forward to typing it. So please bear with me till the end**

**~YaoiFanGirl1990**

 

 

Chapter 46- Get Away From Me!!

 

I stood in the dining area looking down at me feet just listening to everything around me as Narul was led out by Sheril with his mother being carried. I know when he got back to the Order everyone was going to be so angry. I just hope it's not at him. I know I am making a huge mistake but it is the only thing I could think of doing that would save Asarina indefinitely. I could feel everyones eyes on me and it sent chills up my spine. Someone getting out of their chair alerted me and I peeked through my hair to see it was Tyki and he was making a beeline straight for me. I just wanted to run and hide but I knew I couldn't. I made a deal and I was going to stick with it.

 

“You made such a wise decision Shounen.” I heard Tyki whisper his mouth inches from my ear, it sent shudders up my spine. I was scared shitless but I refused to let it show.

 

“Now Tyki don't do anything to the boy yet, we still need to get back home to the Ark and you have a mission to complete.” The Earl said and I slowly let out the breath I was holding.

 

“Yes Lord Millennium.” Tyki spoke soon I felt him tightly grip onto the back of my neck.

 

“Road open up a door back to our home.” The Earl then spoke again, I watched Road happily salute and soon a white portal appeared in the room. I felt myself gulp.

 

“Time to go home.” Tyki said and I was forced to walk. He still had his hand tightly around the back of my neck, keeping me from trying to make any sort of escape. I wrapped my arms around myself as we stepped through the portal like door. I had to squint my eyes from the brightness but soon everything became clear and I was standing with Tyki in a courtyard.

 

“Tyki, Sheril follow me with the boy.” The Earl ordered and we followed him into one of the buildings. I was so scared, I didn't know what to expect right now. We walked through the hallways in silence. Tyki was running circles on my neck with his thumb, the action sent shivers through me continuously. It was unnerving and I wish he would stop, but even if I said anything I knew that he wouldn't. I adverted my eyes to my left to look at Sheril, him and Tyki had an uncanny resemblance and I wandered if they were siblings like the deranged twins here.

 

Soon we were standing in an office and the Earl was digging around in the drawers of his desk for something. I didn't like where this was going. Tyki's hand had removed from around my neck and now he stood behind me his arms wrapped around me. I began to shack and I tried to stop myself but it only caused me to shack more. I wandered what they were going to do to me, probably stick a tracking device within me, but I wasn't sure. Soon my world collapsed when he pulled the thing out. My eyes widened in horror. The Millennium Earl stood there holding a heavy looking circular device, it was also metal. If I wasn't terrified before, I was now.

 

“Do you know what this is Walker?” He asked and I shook my head no.

 

“This is a shock collar. I have a perimeter set up that when you go past a certain point it will electrocute you.” He explained, my eyes were wide with fear. I tried to get out of Tyki's grasp but I was held firmly where I stood and Tyki only tightened his hold around me.

 

“I swear I'm not going to run! Don't put that thing on me!” I heard myself scream but the Earl only chuckled evilly before walking over to me. Sheril grabbed onto my head and held me still firmly as the Earl latched the device onto me before stepping away. My eyes went wide in pain when a bolt of electricity shot through me, it hurt so bad I couldn't even scream. My knees had given out and I dangled in Tyki's arms, I could feel my limbs twitching from the risdual pain that was beginning to slowly subside.

 

“You may take him now Tyki, remember do nothing to him right now you have a mission that starts now.” The Earl spoke, Tyki only laughed a bit before I was lifted into his arms and carried out. Everything ached and I just wish I could hit one of them for putting me through this. But that was never going to happen and I was stuck in this predicament. The walk was silent and soon we were in a dark room with no windows. I was tossed onto the bed and I didn't even try to move.

 

“When I leave the door will vanish so you won't be able to leave, Road will come and get you when it is time from dinner. If you're a good boy I won't hurt you as much when I get back.” He said, I didn't say anything and I watched him leave. When the door shut it to vanished.

 

I had promised Kanda forever and now that promise was broken in the worst way possible. I knew he will probably never stop looking for me, everyone else would but he wouldn't. Sitting up in the bed I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face into them beginning to cry. I was so disgusted with myself. Narul was right we should have brought back up, we could have found another way. I didn't listen though and now look at where I was! I stood from the bed and walked about the room, it was plain and dark. There was only a dresser and a bookcase in the room. I scanned through the books but none of them caught my attention. Eventually I found my way into the bathroom that was in there. 

“I guess it couldn't hurt to shower real fast.” I mutter to myself and I turn the water on to the shower. I stripped myself of my clothes and soon began going through the cabinet drawers until I found what I was looking for. I picked up the razor and inspected it, the razor hadn't been used much so I didn't have to clean it. I never took my eyes off of it as I walked back to the shower, I stepped into the little area and to under the running water a shiver coursing through me when the hot water cascaded around me. 

I sat onto the tiled floor resting my arm onto my crossed leg the bottom of my wrist pointing up towards me. I brought the razor up and without batting an eye I quickly made a few incisions over my wrist. I watched as the blood began to make it's way over my arm staining the clear water red. My mind began to slowly ease into numbness as the pain dulled out. All I though about was how mad Kanda probably is right now. My eyes stung from the tears that pushed forward, I dropped the razor to the shower floor and brought my knees up. I couldn't help the sobs that broke from my mouth and I began to rock back and forth.

“I'm sorry everyone....I'm so sorry!” I cried out to myself digging my fingers into my hair, the blood from my wrist stained my white locks a pinkish color. My world eventually went black and I was just in the black void of my mind, the white lights that usually were there are now red, and that was probably because everyone I was near was a Noah...not human. I dipped my hand into the black water and changed the space around me into the field I loved, but now it was no longer sunny in that world but dark out. I sat in with the flowers and just starred off. I knew I needed to wake myself up before I bled to death, but I just couldn't wake up.

“You cut didn't you?” I heard a voice, but I couldn't make it out of who it was.

“Yay and I need to wake up or I'll bleed to death.” I spoke up.

“Then wake up, you don't want to die on Kanda now do you?” It asked and I shook my head no.

I slowly stood to my feet and watched as my little field faded back into blackness, along with the red lights stood hundreds of white lights, but unlike the red lights these ones moved. I reached out and grabbed onto one of the white lights only for it to disperse into many tiny white lights and float up. I turned on them and dipped my hand into the black pool again and let the watery substance spiral around me. I opened my eyes and found myself curled in a ball lying on the shower floor the once hot water now cold. I sat up and starred at my arm and saw that the cuts I made had scabbed over. Even still I stood back up to my feet and turned the water off. I climbed out and noticed that there was a pair of clothes on the counter with a piece of paper that had my name on it. I know it couldn't have been Tyki because he was already long gone on his mission. Shrugging I pulled the clothes and starred into the mirror; my eyes were so lifeless, dead like. After that I wrapped my arm up so that it could heal before heading back out to the room. The room was still dark when I returned to it and I found Road standing there waiting for me with a kind smile on her face.

“Lord Millennie asked me to come and escort you to dinner.” She said holding her hand out to me. I couldn't help but smile back to her before finishing the distance between her and I and grabbing onto her hand. Cross said that her and I could never be friends, but I hoped that he was wrong. I would need a friend if I ever wanted to survive in this place. Road seemed to be the only sane Noah around here so she was the only one I'd attempt to be friends with.

\- - -

Tyki was gone a week and I had done nothing since he had left to go do whatever mission the Lord Millennium had him doing. All I've done was sit in his dark room starring off into nothingness. I've cut a few times but that is always before dinner. Dinner is uneventful since I only keep to myself, Road tries to talk with me, but I can never give her more then a few word sentence. Today though was a bit different, I was sitting on the bed hugging my knees but I was focused on the voice that was coming towards the room. And as I suspected when the door appeared and opened, Tyki stepped through.

“I see you're still alive.” He said shutting the door behind him and I watched as it once again vanished.

“I still cut though....what're you going to do yell at me?” I asked, my voice as blank as my eyes were.

“No, I am not going to yell at you. Like I had told you in your head before I understand your need to cut and I won't stop you if you have the urge to do so.” He said and I found myself somewhat happy for this. Yet at the same time it made me feel even worst, because if someone truly loved you, wouldn't they want to help you to stop harming yourself. This only caused me to become confused and I wrapped my arms more tightly around my legs and buried my face into them.

“Leave me alone.” I mutter hearing him move about the room. 

“And why would I do that?” He asked, but I didn't answer him right away. I sat there continuing to listen to him move about the room doing things.

“Why do you keep me caged in this room? It's not like I can escape.” I ask, I lift my head up and rest my chin upon my knees watching him. He had just come out of the bathroom his face was slightly wet and he was shirtless. I just gave him a bored look when he shot me a smirk.

“It's to show you who you belong to.” He then spat out glaring at me, I guess I hit a nerve with my bored look.

“I don't belong to anyone!” I say tilting my head to the side and absent mindedly starred at the bookcase.

“You belong to me and i will teach that starting today" tyki says in fustration and walks toward me.

 

"You will never be able to teach me! Just because I promised to never run doesn't mean I won't ever stop fighting you!" I shout turning my head back to Tyki and glaring

 

"You sound just like Asarina, but look at what happened to her." He says laughing. "I will never forget her screams."

 

"Shut up!" I yell jumping to my feet sliding from the bed only a few steps away from Tyki

 

"Why, don't you want to know what happened in in this very room? Do you not want to know what we put her through?." He says smiling and reaches out to touch me

 

"No I don't want to know! Either way I will kill you for what you did to her!" I shout using my hand to smack his hand away from touching me.

 

"I think you would enjoy hearing how she almost escaped but then failed. That bitch got what she deserved and i am sure her feelings about sex have changed. She may never trust another man with her again." He shouts and tries reaching for me.

 

"Stop it!" I shout back side stepping away from him. I didn't want to hear anymore.

 

"What the earl did to her is the same thing im going to do to you."He says and grabs a hold of me.

 

"NO!" I scream out and aim a punch straight for his face.

 

"That is not nice shonnen." He yells backing up a bit to rub his cheek. "You are alot more lively than she was. This is going to be interesting."

 

"Stay away from me! I will NEVER let you touch me!" I shout stepping back away from Tyki my eyes wide with fear. I tried to urge my arm to phase into my claw or a canon but nothing would happen.

 

"You gave up your freedom Allen. So i can have my way with you just as the earl did with Asarina." Tyki says smiling and now he is walking toward me. "You will learn that i own you or terrible things might happen."

 

"I don't care what you say, but I will never stop fighting you, you monster!" I shout beginning to walk backwards trying to keep myself away from him.

 

"Bad things that could happen? Recaptue Asarina, bring Kalira to the ark, or even better kill Kanda." He says laughing maniacally.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY FRIENDS" I couldn't help but scream at him I was getting so worked up I didn't know where I was until my back bumped up against the bookcase.

"You have no where to go now." He says grabbing me and then kisses me. I tried to push him off me but it was no use. I could feel Tyki's hands run up my chest from under my shirt. I could only whimper feeling his lips move from my mouth and down to my neck. His fingers ran over my nipples and I gasped raising my hands and placing them onto his shoulders trying to push him away. He only pushed up harder against me.

 

“Stop trying to fight Allen it's only going to end with you hurt.” He whispered his fingers pinching onto my nipples and I gasped again followed by a whimper. I suddenly got brave and wedged a book off of the shelf.

 

“I told you I wasn't going to let you touch me!” I hiss out and swing the book hitting him in the side of the head. This stunned him a bit and I ran away from him. I didn't get very far, I felt a hand around the back of my neck before I was thrown onto the bed and pinned there.

 

“You're not very smart you know that Allen?!” He yells and I fell a hard smack across my cheek as he backhands me. I try to push him off with my hands but that resulted in my hands getting pinned above my head. Tyki began working on getting my shirt taken off the cold air hit my skin causing shivers to run through me. He only released my wrists long enough to pull the shirt off then proceeded to use it to tie my hands.

 

“STOP!” I screamed but that resulted in another backhand to the face. I bit my lip and kept my face turned fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. I wasn't going to grant him the luxury of seeing me cry.

 

“I own you Allen! I will not stop!” He yelled at me and I was smacked again. The hits stung and I won't lie they did hurt. I just wanted this to stop. I wanted to curl up in a corner and cry, cry until I couldn't anymore. Suddenly his hands were running over me again his mouth on my neck kissing and biting onto it. He pinched my nipples between his thumb and pointer finger, a half moan left me but I bit it back biting onto my lip. I bit so hard I could taste blood in my mouth. Tyki began to kiss down my chest, stopping at each nipple taking it into his mouth and sucking on it. My hands grabbed onto the bed sheets as I tried to ignore the sensations running through me. I wasn't going to moan for him.

 

I wanted Kanda to suddenly appear here and save me, but I knew that would never happen. Tyki's hands worked with my pants and easily unfastened them. He got off the bed long enough to pull both my pants and boxers down. No matter how I moved my legs around I couldn't cover myself up. Tyki's dark chuckle resonated around the room. I knew what was about to come and thought I had mentally prepared myself for it. But I hadn't. I watched as Tyki slowly undid the buttons to his shirt before slipping it from his shoulders. I began to wriggle my wrists in some way to try and get them untied from the shirt. But it was no use, he had tied them so tight I could barely move them.

 

“Try as you will Allen, you're not getting out of her unscathed.” Tyki said and I felt him crawl back onto me this time fully unclothed. I wanted this to end, I didn't want this to happen. His knees were in between my legs and he sat back his hands running over my legs sending chills up my spine.

 

“Please....no more.” I begged but he only laughed before bending over and taking me into his mouth. I gasped out and tried not to buck my hips. I wouldn't give in to any of his touches, but my body was betraying me so much I couldn't help it. He sucked on me hard running his tongue over the shaft.

 

“Ah~!” I moaned out, I brought my wrists to me and bit onto the shirt to keep any sounds from coming out of me. I heard Tyki chuckle, the vibration from it sending waves of an unknown feeling coursing through me and I groaned out.

 

'Think of Kanda....think of Kanda!' I began to think to myself, but when I felt Tyki's teeth graze along me my entire mind went blank and I threw my head back. I bit as hard onto the shirt as possible I couldn't stop the moans that came out and I hated myself for it. I was betraying the very one I loved. I had to be a horrible person if I was allowing myself to give in to the touches. Soon everything just stop and could breath even if it was just for a moment. I felt his hands on my wrists and he pushed my arms back.

 

“Now comes the fun part shounen.” He smirked leaning forward and placing his lips upon mine. I refused to kiss back but when he pinched my nipples again I gasped out and he plunged his tongue into my mouth running it along mine. The kiss didn't last very long and he pulled away sitting back onto his knees then forcing me to roll over onto my stomach. I knew what was coming and I began to cry, I didn't want it, I didn't want it at all. I was forced onto my knees but I wasn't allowed up onto my my arms or hands. My head was turned and pressed into the bed my back arched from being on my knees. Tyki trailed his nails up my back before running his hands over my butt sending more shivers up my spine. He did this a few times before I felt something pressing at my entrances.

 

My hands grabbed onto the sheets of the bed and I bit my lip reopening the wound I had caused and once again I could taste blood in my mouth. Tyki laid over me his hands wrapped around my wrists keeping them pressed down as he left kisses on my shoulder blades. I let out a sudden scream when he pushed into me hard.

 

He gave me no warning before he pushed in.

 

He gave me no time before he began to move.

 

Tears leaked from my eyes it hurt so much. He moved in and out of me his full length barely able to push into me. With every thrust he would hit my back wall, he made it his secret vendetta to hit it every time. I knew I was probably bleeding from the roughness he was using. His hands began to move again running up my sides until they were grabbed onto the inside of my waist holding onto me as he thrusted deeply into me. With every thrust I was pushed into the mattress, I felt like I was about to suffocate because it was so hard to breath. Suddenly I let out a strangled gasp when Tyki's hand grabbed onto my length roughly and began to pump it.

 

“Please....stop!” I said between breaths but he only sped up and hardened his thrusts, it felt like he was about to break something and he probably was. And then it was over and I felt him spill his seed into me. The tears kept coming but I refused to let the sobs out, I wouldn't cry in front of him. I felt my body hit the bed as he pushed me over after pulling out of me. I felt completely exhausted and my eyes were getting heavy. I didn't want to sleep but I couldn't help it.

 

My world went black.

 

I finally came around and I was laying in Tyki's bed still this time though my head was on the pillow and the covers were pulled up to my neck. Everything ached, turning my head I saw that Tyki was also sleeping peacefully. Turning back over I slipped from the bed and headed to the bathroom. For some reason I couldn't explain why my chest felt so heavy. Even between my legs felt abnormal. I dismissed it and turned the light on to the bathroom. All I wanted was a shower and to cut. I looked into the mirror and my world fell apart.

 

I wasn't starring at myself in the mirror. Standing there was a girl with reddish brown hair down to her knees and silver eyes. But it had to be me, I was the only one in the room. Walking to the vanity I reached out and touched the mirror. Yes the girl I was starring at was me. Examining myself my once deformed arm was normal, all of my scars from months of cutting were gone. And what else the star shaped scare on my face was even gone. I brought my hands up and dug them into my hair new hair. I was slowly beginning to panic. I was about to let out a scream when suddenly there were arms around me and my mouth was covered. Looking into the mirror I saw that it was Tyki.

 

“Don't you dare scream. This was the only way to make sure you give me what I want!” He said harshly before slowly releasing me and stepping back. I could only stare at him with wide eyes.

 

“What you want?! CHANGE ME BACK” I yelled at him and he only crossed his arms.

 

“I want a child with you Allen. Besides the only way for you to change back is if one of us dies. You're stuck like this. You're going to need a new name.” He suddenly says and my eyes widen. I begin to back up until my back is pressed up against the wall.

 

“Kallen, from now on you will be known as Kallen.” He says, I let out a sob and slid down to the floor hugging my knees. Why was this happening to me?!

 

“I hate you.”

 

 

**There you go chapter 46! I did not enjoy writing this chapter, but it had to be done. I hope you enjoy it. Please review and let me know what you think.**

 

**~YaoiFanGirl1990**

 


	47. Chapter 47

Chapter 47- Watch me Fault Her

 

Asarina Pov.

 

I was laying down on a bed staring at the ceiling feeling strange as if I was not where I was supposed to be, as if I was safe but I could not tell if it was only game. It had been about a week, I think, since I had been freed, but that was according to Cross. I still did not want to believe him but a part of knew that he was telling the truth. I just could not be here in the black order and yet everything around me told me I was.

 

I quickly sat up and realized I was going into anther panic attack. I tired to slow down my breathing but it was becoming more and more clear that I was either in the ark or actually in Paris. I struggle to get up and stand. I only had one choice and that was to find Komui, if I found him then I was sure to be in Paris, but what if he disguised himself as Komui. I had to be sure and the only way to find out was to leave and find him.

 

Standing up, I realize just how tired my body felt butmy strength was returning. I started to walk to quickly and quietly out of this new prison. Once outside, my memory of this place was to go to his office. That is where he probably is since Cross, if it is really Cross talking, says Komui spends most of his day and nights since my kidnapping.

 

Komui pov

 

It was a little after one in the morning, and I was just finishing up the final necessary adjustments about how Allen disappearance and the return of Asarina. Headquarters was just going to love this, also in the report was on the hostage situation when Shaun Chi showed up, since they wanted in writing what had happened. It had been a long seven days and it had been ruff on everyone. Kanda getting pissed that Allen was gone and trying to figure out how he found out about Asarina being his sister. Cross had been trying to talk to her but she seems so far gone at times.

 

By gone, I mean her mind is not all there. She seems to have no clue if this is the “nightmare” or reality. She was able to hold Kalira but attacked one of the nurses and tried to escape with her daughter saying along the lines of they were not going to stay here in the ark and that he was not going to ever see her. By him we all knew she meant the Millennium Earl, Kalira's father. I shake my head and stare at the phone cause I had not called her father yet to tell him that Asarina was here.

 

I shake my head and stand up for it was just getting later, and I knew if I fell asleep in my office, Lenalee would kill me. I take one last look over the papers, set them down and walk out of my office heading to the infirmary. I decided to go and cheek on Asarina before I went to my room. I knew she would be sleeping but at least I could see her. The last time I walked in on her and Cross talking, she gave me a weird look that made me feel uncomfortable. Her eyes had tears in them when she looked at me and the look of fear was also there. I eventually had to talk to her about what our relationship was to her but now was not the time for she had to recover and understand that she was safe.

 

My thoughts were stopped when I heard something and what I saw was the not what I expected. There standing in white night gown, was Asarina. How the hell did she manage to get out and make it this far? She looked tired and she was struggling, but once she caught my gaze, I could tell she had been crying in someway, maybe it was because of the pain. She tried to run toward me and I don't know why I ran to her side. She almost fell but I caught her, she was out of breath but in all sense she was okay. Holding on to my shirt, she manged to stand up strait up and was clinging to me.

 

“Are you alright?” I ask her in a calm voice, at this point I have no clue if she has a hidden weapon.

 

“I think so.” She says still trying to catch her breath, and I feel her hand on my cheek, as if she is trying to figure something out. “IS this really you?” she whispers and lifts her head up.

 

The next thing I knew she was leaning in to me, and all I could do was slightly push her away. Her face was shocked and her eyes now were scared. I did not know her game plan and now I was getting frustrated.

 

“What are you trying to do?” I ask her raising my voice slightly.

 

“I don't what you mean.” She replies her voice slightly shaken by my tone and I can see her eyes starting to tear up again.

 

“What is it you want from me? What am to you?” I say trying to get her to understand just how I feel, “I am not something you can use and throw away. I have feelings just like everyone else and I am not going to be with someone who does not understand that.”

 

“No..no...no..no..this can not be real..this has to be the nightmare.” She starts saying and looks at her hands.

 

“This is the reality.” I tell her and then she starts to cry.

 

“You are wrong. This is the nightmare cause if it was reality then you would not not be treating me like this.” She says her voice full of anger and sadness. “In reality you love me and help me raise my children who call you dad.”

 

“Where did you ever get that idea?” I say trying to figure out where she came up with that assumption.

 

“It was in a dream, you dream and that was the only thing that made me feel safe. It was my only escape from the nightmare, the pain.” She says trying to get a grip on herself.

 

The next thing I find myself doing is bringing her closer to me and kissing her. I feel her arms move around my neck trying to bring me even closer to her. It was true that she could dream walk and the fact she said my dream made me realize how much of fool I was. I did mean something to her and I doubted her. I feel her legs give out and find myself scooping her up in arms after breaking off the kiss. She rested her head on my shoulders, I start walking to the infirmary again, and now I know how to help her.

 

As I walk, I notice she had fallen asleep, which was a good thing. I notice Reever coming toward me with a look of concern on his but that vanishes when he looks at Asarina.

 

“You found her.” HE says out of breath, “The head nurse told me to tell you she was missing.”

 

“Reever, I want you to get a team and move everything from Asarina's room into mine. That includes Kalira's crib and the changing table.” I tell him and his a questioning look.

 

“Yes sir, right way.” He replies puzzled but takes off to complete the task I had given him.

 

Moving her into my room might not go to well with the head nurse but keeping Asarina in the infirmary was not helping at all. We had to do something and if meant turning the world upside down for her, I would do it. I could not lie to myself nor could I lie to her. I tried and that only made her cry, the one thing she never does in front of anyone. I hope the head nurse can agree with me on my plan.

 

I open the door to the infirmary and the head nurse just stares at me. I can tell she wants to scream but just cant seem to do so. Could it be because Asarina is asleep on me or the fact that I brought her back instead of taking her to my room? I place Asarina back down on the bed she was in before she left, and that causes her to wake up.

 

“It is okay.” I tell her and sit beside her. “Im going to get you out of here tonight. Take her vitals, head nurse we need to talk.”

 

“Of course, lets go into my office.” She says and gestures me to follow her.

 

“Please, don't leave me.” Asarina says grabbing my arm as I stood up.

 

“I'm not leaving you. I am only going into that room over there and when I leave, you will be coming with me.” I say and lean down kissing her forehead. “Let the nurse do her job.”

 

“Don't worry,” I hear the nurse say, “I will take of you.”

 

I walk into the office of the head nurse and she closes the door. While walking to her desk she gives me the most evil look she can give and sits down. I know what I am going to do but will she be willing to let Asarina out of her care. I sit down in the chair across from her desk.

 

“Komui, how can you promise her such a thing.” She says referring to what I had told Asarina.

 

“Because Asarina will be leaving with me and going to my room.” I tell her in a serious tone, “She knows my dreams and she believes that one of my dreams in particular in reality.”

 

“We are dealing with a delicate situation.” She replies looking worried, “I am concerned for not only her safety but yours as well if you do this.”

 

“She seems to understand that she is out of the ark, which is a good thing.” I reply and I am not leaving here with our her, even is she says no Asarina will be going with me. “I am not going to harm her in any way.”

 

“I believe you will not harm intentionally but accidentally you could.” She says trying to hint at something.

 

“There is something you are not telling me.” I reply quickly, “What is it.”

 

“Komui, she is showing signs that she may have been sexually abused.” She replies with her eyes closed, “We don't know for sure and she still won't talk about anything that happened while she was held captive.”

 

“Look, if I leave without Asarina, she will only try to follow me. She went looking for me.” I tell the head nurse as I stand up.

 

“I can stop you but maybe you are right. Keeping her here is like being in the ark.” She says getting up and walking to the door, only to open it, “Please don't do anything to make her uncomfortable.”

 

“I won't.” I tell her and look to see Asarina still calm. I walk over to her and sit beside her.

 

“Everything cheeks out.” The head nurse says looking at a clipboard another nurse handed to her. “Asarina, you are clear to go with Komui.”

 

I see Asarina smile at me knowing she was leaving this place. We both stand up and walk out together. She seems so much more relaxed and yet uneasy. There are a few people walking around still and they seem to stop and stare. She looses balance and I catch her. For some reason she is nervous, and with that I decided to carry her the rest of the way. 

 

Once we got to my room, I was shocked to see that Reever managed to move everything from her room to mine. She looked happy to see her things, but the biggest surprise was seeing Kalira in the crib. WE hear a door open and see Miranda walk out of the bathroom. She gives Asarina a smile and quick hug before leaving. After hearing the bedroom door close and letting Asarina stand, she walks over and picks up her daughter. I can see the tears starting to form, but I walk to her side placing my hand on her shoulder.

 

“I'm going to the bathroom to change.” I tell her softly, “I'm not sure which dour your night gown is in but if you want to change first you can.”

 

“I'm fine wearing this for now.” She replies and places Kalira back in the crib, “I'm just so tried.”

 

I help her get to the bed and she lays down. I kiss her lips gently before going into the bathroom to change. I can't get what the head nurse said out of head. I understood her fear but I would not do anything that would hurt Asarina. I quickly change and open the door, she was still now sitting up on the bed rubbing her neck.

 

“Are you alright?” I ask and sit on the opposite side of her.

 

“Im okay, my neck hurts from the uncomfortable pillows in the infirmary.” She says laughing a bit as I move her hand and gently rub where she was. She lets out a sigh of relief and I know that she is nervous about something. After a few minutes she yawns and I stop.

 

“Thank you.” she giggles and lays down on a pillow.

 

“It is no problem.” I tell her and lay down on another pillow next to her.

 

She moves closer to me and I find myself kissing her gently as her hands play with my hair. I slowly begin to move my hands trail down her arms and her body, she responds by shivering but as I touch her moist core she freezes and then she pushes me aways. Next thing I now she was sitting up crying and her hands cover her face.

 

“I'm sorry, but its not your fault.” She says in tears and I knew that the head nurse was correct.

“It is not your fault either.” I tell her and hold her gently. I feel her head on my chest and all I could do was hold her tightly. “We will get through this together.”

 

She looks at me and I kiss her again. I then lay down bringing her with me and she is now relaxed again, slowly calming down. I know this is going to be very hard for her but I was going to be with her every step of the way, she would not face this alone. Eventually, she drifts off to sleep with her head resting on my chest. I hear the door open and close but do not see anyone.

 

“Is mom going to be okay?” I hear Narul ask quietly and now see him land on my legs.

 

“Yes, mom is going to fine. She just needs to sleep and so do.” I tell him and he flies over to the crib.

 

“Good night Komui.” He says as he lands inside.

 

“Good night Narul.” I tell he with a smile and I realize he actually meant every word he said that day. I eventually drift off to sleep as well. Tomorrow was going to be a little difficult but i'm sure Cross would here talking to her eventually.

 

Cross Pov

 

I could not believe this at all it had been eight days now since Narul brought back his mother, Asarina daughter of the Golden Dragon, Shaun Chi. She has been through so much and yet we know very little as to what she went through. Her state of confusion was even worse than I could have imagined. Shaun warned of what to expect but she tried to leave with Kalira all because she felt like she was still in that god forsaken place where Allen now is. Narul was an idiot to trust Allen but then again he was only ten and wanted to his mom. Allen played on the dragon's determination to rescue her, but what bothers me is the fact that none of saw any signs of Allen planning anything. I we had caught on, then maybe he would still be but then again Narul had told me that even if Allen did not trick him, we still might have lost Allen if we did launch a full scale rescue mission of our own.

 

I was on my way to see her and my hope was to get her to walk with me outside, some fresh air might be good for her but then again she was still weak. She was improving but apparently she decided not to eat to much and unknowingly was starving herself while in the hands of those bastard Noah's. I can not get her to talk about what she endured there because every time I try, she goes into a panic attack and it gets to the point of where we have to sedate her.

 

As I walk in, my mind goes into a shock for Asarina is not her bed. I look around trying to see if she was moved but no luck. Then I see the head nurse walk out.

 

“Where is she?” I yell and all I get was a dirty look from the old lady.

 

“Cross, tone your voice down. I have other patients here that need their rest.” She says in that scary tone of hers. “If you are looking for Asarina, then you have come to the wrong place.”

 

“What do you mean I have come to the wrong place?” I ask her knowing I may not want to here her answer but I had to know that she was safe at least.

 

“Asarina was released from my care about 1:30 in Komui's care.” she said still pissed at me.

 

“Why would you realase her into his care!!” I say in a panic casue he is last person I want her by.

 

“Cross, I know your fear and I did tell him. You need to chill and go see for yourself is she is okay.” She tells me and I am out the door in a flash.

 

Why does this have to happen and above all with Komui? I swear he better not tough her at all or he might get killed. I was not looking when I bumped into someone, looking down I see Lenalee on the ground. Curse my mind for wanting to save that idiot of a chief. I extend my hand and help her up.

 

“My, where are you in a hurry to go?' I hear Lavi ask.

 

“I have to check on Asarina. She may have killed Komui.” I say trying to stay calm but I know that is impossible.

 

“My brother is fine. We just tried to wake him up, only to find out that Asarina, Kalira, and Narul are in his room.” She says and that makes me feel a little better.

 

“Well, I should go and check on them again.” I say and try to leave but all I get was her arm in my way. “Lenalee?”

 

“They were up all night aparently. Asarina did not sleep well and Kalira woke up. So it was a long night.” Lavi said placing his hand on my shoulder.

 

“Okay, I guess ill go eat breakfast with you two.” I say and the three of walk to eat.

 

After we get there and order our food. I place my hand on my head and realize my hat was missisng. This makes me feel uneasy. I never leave with out it. As we sit down and eat, Lavi screams.

 

“Your hat it moved.” He yells and we look to see my hat on the ground and it was slightly moving.

 

“Yo, hat over here.” I yell and then it looks as if my hat flew over to the table on its own.

 

“Your hat is possessed.” He shireks and I know this was going to be fun casue little does anyone realize that it is only Narul under it.

 

“Lavi, be reasonable.” Lenalee says to him and looks confused at my hat.

 

“Is Kanda, around?” The hat asks is a mysterious tone.

 

“No, he is not around.” I say and I can only smirk cause Lavi is now hiding behind Lenalee,

 

“Now it is talking. Lenalee do something.” He wines and this only makes the dragon inside my hat chuckle.

 

“Okay,” Narul says tipping the hat over and then flies up to place it on my head. “You dropped it somehow.”

 

“IT was only Narul.” Lenalee says and pats Narul's head. It makes happy to know that they are passed that whole argument.

 

“I knew that.” Lavi said trying to be funny. “Why are you avoiding Kanda?”

 

“To him, I am just like my mother. I do things that only benfit me and have no care what happens to others.” He says in a sad tone. He blames himself for something he had no control over, Allen I hope you are happy that made a dragon afraid of your boyfriend.

 

“Narul, its not your fault. Allen tricked you and you had no clue. You acted on your emotions and there is nothing wrong with that.” Lenalee tells him but Narul only stares at the table.

 

“I could of stopped it but I was more worried about getting my mom back. Just like she was when my sister was taken.” He says and then drats off.

 

“Lenalee, this may take time for him to understand.” I tell her and then we finsih our meals in silence. I leave before they could even finish. I need a drink.

 

I stayed in my room for about two hours and I only drank two glasses of wine. I look at the time and it was ten o'clock. I decided to see if Asarina was awake and willing to talk about a few things. I leave my room and head over to Komui's room. As I walk I see him walking to his office. I stop in my tracks and when he gets closer, he stops as well.

 

“How could yo do it.” I say to him and I know I playing on a dangerous field.

 

“It was what she wanted. She was using my dreams as an escape and I thought if I made my dream happen she would be okay and able to recover better.” He says and I can tell he is not lying.

 

“Okay that makes sense but im happy you are alive.” I tell him and I was not prepared for his next response.

 

“What ever happened there was tramatic for her. She was sexual abused.” HE tells me with hatared in his eyes.

 

“I was afraid of that.” I say and place my hand to my head. “I am releaved that you are not dead.”

 

“We tried but she froze and pushed me away. Then she started crying and saying that she was sorry.” HE says to me, “Cross, please do your best and dont make her upset.”

 

“I wont do anything to make her uspest or at least intentionally.” I tell him and then we continue our seperate ways.

 

I walk till I make it to his room, and I knock. I was not sure what to do but then the door opened and she was standing there with a look guilt. I walk in and see the one thing I feared, a bottle of vex and a needle.

 

“Okay, what did you do.” I ask her and sit down on the bed.

 

“I did not use it if that is what you are asking.” She says and sits next to me. Then points to a box that was tipped. “I tripped over the box and somethings fell out.”

 

“Okay, where you considering using it?” I ask her and look at her.

 

“Yes, I was.” She says and then starts crying.

 

“Don't start crying.” I tell her and pull her closer to me in an embrace.

 

“I cant help it.” She says and I know how bad she wants this to all be a dream but it will never be one.

 

“What happened to you was not your fault.” I tell her trying to comfort her.

 

“I love him but im afriad of his touch. I know he means me no harm but I just don't know what to do.” She cries and I know who she is talking about.

 

“Komui understands, and he loves you as well. You will be able to be with him.” I tell her and then I grab the bottle and needle. I fill it up a bit and then I inject her with it. I hate this stuff but she needs to block out her emotions if she is going to be able to talk to me.

 

“Why did you do that?” She asks after a few minutes.

 

“You need to able to talk and this might be able to help you talk about it.” I tell her and she looks at me. “Im sorry I was not able to protect you that day.”

 

“Cross, I went willing to save your life. I love you as I love my father.” She says and then I felt bad. All this time I blamed myself and now I knew the truth.

 

“Let's start by talking about events in the ark and the bruises on arms.” I tell her and she only nods. “Where is Kalira?”

 

“With Mirnada.” She replies “but she should be back by her naptime about 11:30.”

 

The next hour or so we spent talking on the events in the ark. It was hard for her but even when the vex wore off, she continued to talk about how Tyki would beat her, how she would fight back, how the earl raped her and eventually how she slowly crossed the line between the two worlds. She did not give to much detail but that would come out later as she talked more about it.

 

Eventaully she talked about how Kalira would be one soon. I told her how she was now crawling, and that made her cry. Kalira's birth was hard on her, since she was born two months early, and the pain she was in when it happened. I was there to help her then and I will be here to help her know. Asarina is the daughter I wished I had and Allen is the son I wished I had.

 

 

 

**Kanda's POV:**

 

I had left Mugen in my room, I guess I was so furious right now I wasn't thinking straight. All I wanted to do was to get to that damned dojo so that I could get my frustrations out. I was so furious and I couldn't keep it concealed for much longer. The ever prominent frown had returned to my face and I swear a few people I passed ran away from me.

 

Why was I so angry?

 

I will tell you this, it had something to do with that bitch Asarina! She had hit the last nerve in me, I couldn't believe this shit! Thanks to my dumbass boyfriend for giving himself up we got her back. Yea I was happy she was okay but thanks to her I had lost my Moyashi! If she had never of came then he would still be here! I wish she would just vanish and never return! I wish time would rewind and make to where she never showed up. I bet if we never had met her then Allen wouldn't be in the clutches of those damn Noah's! Who knows what they are fucking doing to him.

 

I swear Tyki will die by my hands!

 

I entered the dojo and I was seeing red. The first thing I did was walk over to where there was a vase, a probably really expensive vase picked it up and threw it! The shattering noise was music to my ears and I loved it! Not only was Asarina a point in my anger but so was Narul and Cross! First Narul began avoiding me for no damn reason and I can't figure out fucking why! And then there's Cross who is all worried about Asarina and doesn't give a damn about what happens to Allen!

 

God I was so fucking pissed!

 

Nobody in this damn place cares that Allen was now in danger! All they care about is Asarina and her damn health! If it were up to me she should be sent back to her home and she should get help there! I began punching and kicking the punching bag in the room to the point until it came off the ceiling and came crashing down. I did that to all seven punching bags in the room. I was running out of things to destroy so I grabbed one of the chairs and threw it through the screen door to the outside creating more crashing noises. All I wanted to do was break things.

 

All I wanted was my Allen.

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

Chapter 48- Your Living Like a Disaster.

Asarina pov

I was just trying to get my life into order and I was happy to have Cross here but there was one thing still on my mind. During my rescue Allen called me his sister and I still had no clue if that was true or not. If there was ever time to ask about it now would be the time. Kalira was sleeping and Narul was off doing something. 

“Cross, is it true that Allen is my brother.” I finally ask and I can only see his eyes close.

“Yes, it is true.” He replies and I can only lower my head and sigh.

That idiot gave everything up to reunite me with my children and he left behind more people than I would have. I know it is true that not many people like or want me here, I can only imagine what Kanda was blaming me for this time. I should have done more to save him or at least convince Narul to take him out of there.

“We have to get him back.” I tell Cross trying to sound like my old self again but he can tell I have fear in my voice.

“We will get him back but you will not be coming with us.” He tells me and that causes my head to snap up and glare at him. “Don't give me that look. You need to focus on your self and your kids.”

“Don't treat me like a house wife.” I tell him and laugh. That is when we hear the sound of something breaking.

Actually, it sounded like a few things were getting destroyed. The nose woke up my sleeping angel. I rush to her side and pick her, only to hold her close. I try to calm her down by rocking her but that does not work.

“Where is this noise coming from?” I ask and look at Cross for an answer.

“It was only a matter of time before he did it.” Cross says and gets up to stand beside me. “Its Kanda destroying the dojo.”

Kanda that egotistical bastard, how could he do this knowing my daughter is sleeping. Its high time someone told him off and gave him a reality check. I knew I was a match for him. I was going to show him that he needs to calm the fuck down or so help me I will beat him to a pulp.

“Take Kalira.” I say to Cross as I hand my daughter to him. “I'm going to tell it to Kanda.”

“Wait, that is not a good idea.” Cross tells me but I am already out the door.

I'm walking toward the noise and all can think about is how he woke up my angel. He needs to realize that destroying things is not they way to go. I can understand his pain and everything. Allen may have been is boyfriend but he was my brother. As walk to the dojo, everyone stairs at me. I'm not sure if it is the bruises that are still visible or could it be the fact that I am dangerous. I don't blame them, after all I did stab two nurses and try to escape with my daughter.  
I finally reach the dojo and walk in to see everything is just a mess. There broken chairs, pieces of broken porcelain, and punching bags that feel off the ropes. This was not going to be easy at all. The last time Kanda and I got in a fight it ended up me leaving. Looking around I found a jo staff and a small wooden throwing dagger. I pick up the jo staff and was relieved that it did not have any damage to it. Then I pick up the dagger and looked straight a Kanda. I knew he was pissed and it had to with Allen's trick he played. Then next thing I do is throw the wooden dagger and it was a perfect hit to the back of them head. He turned around and I was ready for what ever would come next.

“What in hell do you think you are doing?” I scream at him, “You do realize my baby was sleeping before you woke her up.”

"Like hell that I care! Go away you're the last one I need around me right now!" Kanda yells back glaring at me almost as if his were daggers but that did not scare one bit.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died. What did I even do to you?" I yell back not caring about his last remark.

“Oh! Its nothing that you did to me, it's what you caused! If you never came here then my Moyashi would still be here!" Kanda yells clenching his fists at his sides and I can only imagine where this was going to lead

"What I caused? You were the one who decided to help with my plan. You were the one who caused Allen to slit his wrist the first time and so what if gave him advice that he asked for. That is all in the past baka.." I scream at him getting the jo staff ready. I was making a bold choice of words.

"You know damn well that it was Tyki and what you told Allen that caused his fucking coma! All I have ever done was protect him and now because of you he's GONE!" Kanda yells pulling a practice sword off the wall.

"You really think it's my fault that he is gone. Explain why it's my fault," I say glaring at him. I know what happened this time was not my fault at all.

"If you weren't dumb enough to forget your innocence weapon you could have protected yourself. Better yet if you never had shown up everything would be perfect right now!" Kanda glares back at me and now im getting really pissed.

"You should have never left Cross and me so that makes you the dumb one" I say not even moving my staff and I know dam well that if I make any sudden movements, things might get interesting. 

"And risk Tyki getting to Allen that day?! FUCK THAT!" Kanda yells feeling his arms beginning to shack holding the practice sword. He should be scared cause one false move and I can kill him where he stands.

"You really stupid. For one you don't think about his location. There are plenty of exorcist in the order. Second did you really think I wanted this to happen to him. Third you can't possibly win against me in a match." I tell him straight to his face hoping to get it through his head that fighting me might be is worst mistake yet.

"I don't care whether I can beat you or not! And its not like anyone here gives a rats ass anymore they have ALL proven that they don't care about Allen! Well so be it I'll get him back on my own." Kanda shouts and his stance is now off balance.

"They do care you are just to blind to see it. Cross is worried like hell about Allen. I can see it in his eyes." I say with anger and I'm waiting for him to make the first move. So long as he does not make any sudden moves, I wont

"Oh really so everyone going to your beck and call is showing worry about Allen. We got you back everyone should be out looking for Allen but no they're more concerned over your damn well being! But I won't fall for it, I will search for Allen even if it kills me!" Kanda says holding the practice sword out pointing its tip out at toward me.

"I'm not asking for anything. Cross comes to try to get me to talk about what I endured for three months. I was on the verge of suicide when Allen and Narul showed up." I yell at him trying not let tears show Kanda yells trying to keep his anger in check but it was failing, "Your anger is blinding you to the truth. How can find Allen when u have no clue where to start." 

"I will find him, because I know him better than anyone else here does!" Kanda growls out and I know sooner or later this will get ugly cause I make my move at strike for his head.

In that moment he dodges and move out of the way, swinging his fake sword at me which I use the end of my staff to block with. All this does is piss him off, I can by his eyes. I learned to read people with their eyes just my father.  
"I may be recovering still but that does not mean I'm going to go easy on you" I say catching my breath.

"don't expect you to actually." Kanda laughs dryly

"You forget I am a trained killing machine. You need to pull your head out of your fucking ass and soon before you do something you might regret" I tell him in a loud voice

"I don't regret anything but letting Allen out of my sight!" Kanda snaps

With that statement, the panic sets in and now I'm not sure where I am anymore. I have to be in the ark cause Tyki said something like that. 

“You really think you can last? How long will it take to break you.” Tyki shouts as I manage to get up again.

“You are one fucked up son of a bitch.” I say standing with my feet planted to the ground. “You will one day regret this moment.” 

“The only moment I regret is when I took one look at Allen being brought before me and then getting attacked by a group of fucking retards.” He yells at me. “I regret taking my eyes off of Allen.”

"You never really paid attention to him anyway" I yell back

"the fuck are you talking about?!?! I always paid attention to him! I'm what kept him alive!!!" Kanda yells

"Only to watch him get hurt again. You don't really know him." I say and move the jo staff closer to him.

"you're so delusional! I am the only one who truly knows him! Who cares about him!" Kanda snaps again

"You are so wrong" I tell him and make a move to attack but that is blocked now we are face to face, “You don't really care about him at all.”

“Of course I care about him” HE yells and moves back a bit, but im to quick and smack him in the head with the stick.

“No you don't. You only care about him for the wrong reasons.” I yell back and swing again this time hitting his ribs.

The next move I made was to move quickly and strike him behind his head. He realizes what I am doing and tries to keep up with my movements, but all he does in manage to fall into my attacks. He does manage to move away from a few but all in all. He is much to slow, slower than I remember him being. 

“Stop this.” He yells out in pain as I hit his shoulder hard enough to leave maybe a bruise.

“You never did stop when I begged and pleaded you to.” I yell back and this time I kick his stomach and force him to his knees. Then using the staff I smack him in the chest with the tip and he falls to the ground, his breathing staggered. I raise the staff to strike again but then my wrist is grabbed. 

“What in the world is going on.” Cross screams and he is now inches from my face. All of sudden I look on the ground to see Kanda laying there and in pain.

“What happened?” I ask looking at Cross trying to process what was going on.

“You were attacking him with out restrain.” HE tells me and release my hand as I drop the staff.

“No...i was attacking Tyki.” I tell Cross but the evidence was clear. I did not wait for Cross to answer as I bolted out and headed to get my things.

Once I reach the room, I sink to the floor and start to cry. This was the final straw and now I had no choice. I stand up to see Kalira is in her crib and still sleeping. I deiced it was best to leave, so I don't hurt anyone but if I left I would be hurting someone. Komui, I have to do this but I don't want to.

I Start to pack what I had brought with me which was literally my equipment and some clothes. AS I do this I cry cause I don't want to go but I have no other option. At least at home, I will be able to get the treatment I need.

“Mom, why are you packing.” Narul asks and I see looking at me all confused. 

“We have to go.” I tell him and the pain in my chest is too much. “I need more help than what I am getting here.”

“Mom, I don't want to go.” HE yells at me and I know how he feels.

“Narul, listen I may have killed Kanda. I need the help only our clan provide.” I tell him and finish packing. I look over and see him writing something but I don't care at this point.

I gather my things and look around the room. I will treasure every moment I had with him. I pick up my sleeping angel. Narul was already outside the window in his bigger form. I climb on him and then he takes off. I look back at the order and think about how much I will miss everyone but I don't think I will be going back. 

We fly for a while. I glad my son did not ask where to go for I believe he knows. We are going to China, back to my father and my home. It has been literally two years since I last stepped foot in the mansion. I had no idea what would happen once I got there but I do know it will be hard to confront my father. 

We land inside the perimeter of the family mansion. The guards took one at my son and rushed over to help me down. Once on the ground Narul changed back to his smaller form and flew on my shoulder. Kalira was still sleeping and that was a good thing. The guards were shocked that I was holding a child with me but at this point I did not care. All I cared about was what I had left behind at the order. 

Walking through the doors of of my fathers estate sent everyone in a spiral of utter concern. Then again it was my fault that I decided to go into hiding and have no contact with anyone. Here I was 23 and caring around a child through my home. I was deeply upset with my self for the little lies I told at the order. I found Naruls egg when I was 13, but It was nice to play the little joke on my age. 

As I walked through the hallways, I saw the servants bow and say “Welcome back, Lady Asarina.” I just tried to stay to calm cause very soon I would have to face my father and I was not looking forward to that. Narul was happy to be back but at he same time he was deeply sad. I understood that he missed everyone at the order and so did I but I missed Komui the most. As I walked into my room, I noticed a few things had been placed inside. A crib with a canopy, a changing table and a new dresser. I placed my sleeping angle inside when I heard the open. Turning around I saw two familiar faces.

“Welcome home, Lady Asarina.” Both of them said. 

“Sue, Mary, and Alex. It has been along time.” I said trying to hold back tears but right now I was not strong enough to do so. 

“My lady, do not cry.” Sue said coming over with a cloth in her hand and wiped my tears. 

Sue was a bit older than me and is my head maid. Her golden hair was up in a bun and her blue eyes made her smile warm. Then there was Mary and Alex the twin brunettes with dark amber eyes, they were a few years younger than me but we all grew up to be close. 

“I'm fine.” I said as calmly as I could, but I knew they did not buy it for I was shaking a bit I knew they could tell.

“So this is Kalira.” Mary said as she slowly walked over to the crib. “I hope you like the new furniture.”

“I love them. Thank you.” I said and watched her as if I did not trust her.

“Mary, be careful.” Alex warned, “Lady Asarina was held captive for 3 months. We still have no clue what has happened to her.”

“Never mind that. How long have you been out of their reach?” Sue asked in concern as she placed her hand on shoulder.

“I have been free for about eight days now.” I said quietly, “And my father does not know.”

“Well, I suggest we get you ready you ready to see and don't worry about Kalira. You are safe here and nothing can hurt you while.” Sue said dragging me to the closet to change.

I stood there while Sue and Alex helped me into a red and green kimono. Mary decided to keep watch over Kalira and Narul who was busy talking her ear off about his adventures at the order. I tried to remain calm but in all sense I was anything but calm. Looking at everything that had happened to me in over the time span of few months was hurting my brain. I could hear Mary laughing about how her burned Komui's desk after finding out that sex and porn were the same thing. After Sue pounced me decent, I walked out and over to my daughter who was still sleeping.

“Where is my father?” I aksed them with fear in voice.

“My lady there is nothing to be afraid of. He is currently in a meeting with the other clan leaders.” Sue says calmly, “Go and talk to him. We will take care of the children.”

“I will be back soon and Narul, make sure you help Mary with Kalira.” I said and left the room.

I was so nervous about being face to face with my father but now I was terrified. I would also be in the same room with the other six clan leaders. Could my life get any worse? Then again it already has gotten worse. First I might have killed Kanda and then I high tail it back home only to have left behind the man I love. I did not want to leave but I knew if I stayed I might have killed him. 

So many thoughts were going through my head until I reached the doors to the meeting room. The guards outside the room took one look at me and realized I wanted to go in. Yet neither of them tried to stop me as I approached the doors close enough to knock, yet I did not want to.

“My lady, if you are going to enter, please just enter. There is no reason to knock.” The one guard said as I tried to hide how nervous I was because behind these doors was a battlefield. I could hear my father yelling and others yelling back. “Don't worry, I am sure he will be happy to see you.”

It was then I decide to open the door and walk in.

Cross Pov

I was in the infirmary waiting for Kanda to wake up. I can not believe what had happened to him and how Asarina thought she was fighting Tyki. It just showed me how much her of her mind was gone. I was trying to figure out what I should say to Kanda when he woke up but the only I could think was to say you got beat by a girl. Then again he would probably hit me with something.

“Cross, why do I feel like I just go done fighting a level 4 akuma.” He asks and that snaps me out of my daze.

“Comparing what actually happened to a level 4 akuma is pretty funny.” I say and start to laugh but all Kanda does is blink and then he glares at me.

“Cross, I am in not in a mood for your fucking games. Tell me what happened.” He screams at me.

“Alright. If you really want to know. You almost got yourself killed.” I scream back at him.

“WHO TRIED TO KILL ME AND WHY?” The idiot screamed as he was now climbing off the bed he was laying in. I knew this was not going to end well.

“YOU just had to do something to piss her off. You knew her mind was unstable and yet you dont listen to a god dam thing anyone says to you.” I yell back. “If I did not get there when I did. Asarina would have killed you. The worst part about it was she thought she was fighting Tyki.”

“SHE what. Im going to kill her.” HE screams and runs out of the infirmary. I run out after him for Allen's sake I do this.

I am running after Kanda who is heading to Komui's room. Why did I have to tell him that Asarina beat the shit out of him. Im lucky his head had no permanent brain damage and the fact that he can still walk. She hit is spinal cord really hard to the point that it would have cracked. She was literally going for the kill but Kanda has his amazing healing powers. AS I finally catch up with him, I notice he is just standing in the door way.

“Kanda what is going on.” I say and look into the room only to Komui with a piece of paper in his hands and his head is down. “Komui, are you alright.”

He gets up and walks over to me. Then shoves the piece of paper into my hands. “I have paper work to do.” HE says and walks toward his office. 

I am left reading the paper and I could not believe what it said. Kanda just stairs blankly at me. “What does it say?” He asked.

“IT says this. “Komui, I don't really want to do this but mom says we have to leave. Maybe we will see soon, I hope we do come back. Sincerely Narul.” I say reading the the letter. 

“So they left. Good for them. I hope they never come back.” Kanda says smartly but all I end up doing is slapping across the face.

“It took three months for us to have our Chief back and now in a matter of eight days, he goes back to locking himself in his office. I hope you are happy about it.” I say in anger and just leave him standing there.

AS I walk I can only think about what was going on at her fathers house. I wonder what she will tell him and what he will do about all this. God, why did this have to happen. I notice Lenalee and Lavi walking down. Lenalee looked like she was about to cry.

“Cross, what is going with my brother? He walked into his office and slammed the door.” She say and tries not to cry. 

“Read this and then thank Kanda.” I tell her as I hand her Narul's message and then continue on my way to drink away the pain. I hope Kanda gets what is coming to him.


	49. Chapter 49

Strawberry Gashes

 

**So yay I am past chapter 46! I won't be typing anymore rape chapters for a long time! They are not my favorite things in the worlds. Now any lemons or limes of a normal standard I enjoy typing! YAY! Well these next two chapters are a still bit depressing but at least they are a bit on a lighter note. Hope you enjoy the read!**

 

**~YaoiFanGirl1990**

 

Chapter 49- She Said Kill Me Faster

 

I sit in this bathroom under the running water of the shower still in my clothes and both of my wrists slit. Each wrist had a few cuts on each, I think I had cut my wrists eight times in total, that makes four cuts for each arm. It's been a couple months since I had become a prisoner for the Noahs, a couple months since Tyki had turned me into a full fledged girl. I have gotten over the fact that I will be like this until my dying day, it still made it hard for me to face myself each day. Thankfully Tyki was away on a mission with the deranged twins. There was news of an innocence fragment and they wanted to make sure that the Exorcists didn't get to it first. Every time one of the cuts would scab over I would use the razor to reopen the wound.

 

It was really hard for me right now, and I couldn't bare the stress anymore. Just last week I had found out I was pregnant. Lulu Bell ran some tests on me and found out I was a couple months pregnant which meant....The time when Tyki had raped me right after changing me was when I conceived a child. All of this scared me and I wasn't ready. I was still barely 17, what was I supposed to do?! I had no one to talk to and that frightened me. I felt like I was loosing myself already, like I was becoming a different person. I found out I still had my innocence in me, but now it took on a different form. The green cross was still on the top of my hand but now there were more designs around it, changing its appearance. I found out that I could still use my energy shots but they came directly out of my hand. There were two new things I could do. One was I could create a barrier around myself in the shape of a lotus flower. I called it Lotus Barrier. Next I found out after Jasdero and Devit pissed me off and I almost turned them human using some form of attack with the barrier. If it wasn't for the Lord Millennium knocking me out they would have no longer been Noahs. I kept this in mind for a use sometime later.

 

“Kallen?” I looked up to see Road standing there with a sad face. I looked down at my wrists and just sighed. She was the last person I wanted finding me.

 

“I'm fine.” I say and she shakes her head no before stepping under the water then sitting next to me.

 

“No, you're not fine. What's wrong?” She asked and I sighed again.

 

“I'm not ready to be a mother Road. All of this is just new to me. I was barely turned into a girl and now I have to expect a baby?!” I said my voice a bit panicky than what I would have liked.

 

“I know this must be hard for you, but everything is going to be alright. You have all of us here to help you take care of this baby.” She explains to me lifting one of my arms up and began to heal it. I didn't do anything to stop her.

 

“Cutting is bad for the baby, it causes stress.” She whispers and I look away.

 

“I know it's bad for the baby but I couldn't help it. Tyki and I got into a fight before he left this morning. I'll try not to do it again.” I answer her.

 

“At least you're going to try. What was Tyki thinking with letting you cut still! It's not right!” She said releasing my arm once it was healed to a scar then moved to my next arm.

 

“This is Tyki, Road. He allows me to do things that will lead me down into breaking and becoming 100% his.” I tell her and Road sighs before wrapping her arms around me.

 

“I don't want you to break like Asarina did! I still want to see you smile. You're my friend and I want you to be happy.” She said and I could of sworn I heard her slightly crying.

 

“I'm only ever going to be happy if I am with my real family again, but now that is hopeless. They wouldn't recognize me and I'd be shunned. So my new dream is to just one day be free of the Ark, start new.” I say and I feel eyes on me, looking down I noticed Road was looking up at me with large eyes.

 

“Maybe your dream will come true one day.” She said and I sighed.

 

“One day maybe but not anytime soon that's for sure. For me to surely escape is to get this collar removed.” I explain to her leaning my head back against the tiled wall and looking to the ceiling. I hated my new voice it was so high and childish sounding. Not to mention I now looked even more petite than when I did when I was boy. My skin was as white as snow and if I did have scars on my wrist my skin would be completely flawless.

 

“That collar really is something you hate isn't it?” She asked, I just nodded my head to tired of using my voice now.

 

“Maybe I could convince Lord Millennie to take it off of you. You've been so good maybe that will be proof enough that you won't run.” She said.

 

“Even if I did run....where would I go?” I asked feeling the hot sting of tears coming on.

 

“You've got a point, but it never hurts to try right?” She then asked and I wander why she was asking me. He question threw me for a loop so I didn't answer her

 

“Look I didn't want you to be here on sad circumstances. If you left I'd be okay with that, but only if you promised to still be my friend if you did.” She suddenly said and I found myself smiling.

 

“You would always be my friend Road, forever and for always.” I say.

 

“What are you two doing?” We both look up to see Tyki standing there with his arms crossed.

 

“When did you get back?” I ask wandering how much of our conversation did he hear.

 

“Just now, the Exorcists beat us to the damn innocence. Now answer my question, what are you two doing?” He asked again and I found myself rolling my eyes.

 

“We're just sitting under the water talking. We were coming up with names.” Road answered standing to her feet and holding her hand out to me.

 

“And what names did you come up with?” He then asked arching an eyebrow. I knew he didn't believe us, cause there was always one thing I would do if I was in the shower fully clothed. Road suddenly became quiet.

 

“The girls name will either be Cassandra or Elizabeth. And with the boy I haven't come up with anything, we were still thinking when you came in.” I answered grabbing onto Roads hand and stood up.

 

“Whatever you two just get out and get dried it's time for dinner.” He said and walked out, it was obvious that he didn't believe us, but he wasn't going to say anything since we were both going along with the same story. Road had vanished through a Ark Door to her room before I went off in search of dry clothes. Sometime during my first month here Lulu Bell had measured me and gone off to go buy me clothes. When she came back I wasn't too thrilled to find that every one of my clothes was a dress. I had made go back out and get me some boy styled clothes as well. It had made her laugh, but at least I had a range of clothes to choose from now. Like at the moment I was wearing a long sleeved black shirt which had two rows of gold buttons on the front stomach area. Next I chose a pair of black slacks which had flower like embroidery at the bottom. It was still girly but at least it wasn't a dress. I tied some of my hair back into a half pony tail before walking out into the hallway. I wasn't surprised to see Tyki standing there waiting for me.

 

“You were cutting again weren't you?” He asked and I only shrugged my shoulders.

 

“What do you think Tyki?!” I snapped and turned away from him beginning my way down the hallway. I hated him so much, I just wish he would die somehow then the Noah's would be forced to let me go. Besides if he died then I'd be back to my old self.

 

“Don't give me that attitude Kallen or do I have to remind you of who you belong to?!” He snapped right back catching up to me and grabbing my arm forcing me to stop.

 

“Remember Tyki you can't do anything to me while I'm pregnant! Remember I may have been turned into a girl but this is no ordinary pregnancy so they have to keep an eye on me. BAKA!” I shouted yanking my arm from his gripped and turned away from him again. I wasn't surprised when I was grabbed again then back handed. It still stung and brought tears to my eyes but I blinked them back. All I did was scowl and glare at Tyki. There was no way in hell I was going to let him break me. Yes, I may be afraid of the bastard but I still planned to fight back.

  
"Still plan of fighting? I tell by the look in eyes, and trust me i know this is no ordianry pregency. Eventually you will break, it just may take longer than your bitch of a sister." Tyki said adn i knew he was getting under my skin.

 

"I will never break Tyki! Don't you see that everything you throw at me just makes me stronger?! You're a real idiot if you think me cutting is a cause of my mind breaking!" I say back turning to start heading to dinning room for dinner, tonight was going to be a long dinner

 

"Just you wait, eventually you will, and when it happens you will see how alone you really are." He tells me and i hate the fact that he was still right be hind me.

 

"You are so FULL OF IT!" I shout at him as we near the dinning room and I know everyone can hear us. This was going to bring on huge onslaught of lectures from Lord Millennium. I bring my hand up and begin to massage my temples.

 

"What did you do now." I hear the earl scream at Tyki.

 

"I didn't do shit!" Tyki yells back at the Earl and then I snap.

 

"YOU'RE the one who verbally attacked me Tyki! Saying you're going to break me and all this other shit! NOT ONLY THAT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT BACKHANDING ME ANYMORE!" I scream at him turning to face him, I really feel like I was in a family feud right now

 

"Tyki, you do realize that if her blood pressure spikes, she could miscarriage." Lulu Bell says.

 

"I know that Lulu Bell shut up!" Tyki snaps.

 

"Don't snap at her! If you knew it then you wouldn't be an asshole to me all the time you bastard!" I yell at Tyki, I turn my head and notice that the Earl has a very serious look on his face.

 

'Why do I have this feeling this is about to get worst?' I think to myself.

 

"Will you stop hitting her. I told you I don't care if you rape her but i told you one more mark and I would feed you to a dragon" the earl yells.

 

"Yeah and only dragon around would not hesitate to do so." Jasdero adds for comedy. I was surprised to see the Earl on my side with him hitting me. I wasn't too happy about the rape thing but there was nothing I could do. What shocked me even more was that Tyki went very quiet and soon we were all sitting and enjoying dinner. Road sat across from me and gave me a sad smile.

 

I wish things hadn't changed so much. I miss Kanda.


	50. Chapter 50

Strawberry Gashes

 

 

Chapter 50- Strawberry Gashes All Over, All Over Me!

 

 

Since the night when Road and I sat in the shower talking another three months had passed and I was now 5 months pregnant. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control for me. Tyki and I still argue on a daily basis and he still hits me. Every time he does though I escape to the Earls room and stay in there. Tyki has been punished before for hitting me, but he never learns and that saddens me. At the moment I was sitting in the nursery watching out the window. I was just thinking back to how things could have been so different. Also I was sitting in her because I've been having a lot of pains in my stomach and I didn't want to stress myself out more than what I was. Lulu Bell explained to me that stress was really bad for the baby and for me as well.

 

“Hey there Kallen how are you?” I looked up and bit my lip to keep myself from groaning. In ther doorway stood Sheril and I really didn't want to deal with him.

 

“As you can see I'm perfectly fine.” I answer giving him as good of a smile that I could.

 

“I can see that,” He said returning the smile and walking over leaning against the wall by the window. My smile vanished and I narrowed my eyes at him.

 

“No, I am not going back to Tyki's room until the week is up. That is the punishment Lord Millennium gave him for smacking me and causing me to fall down the stairs. He could have killed the baby.” I snapped slowly standing from the rocking chair and began making a beeline out of the room.

 

“Come on Kallen he's really sorry and he really misses you. Take it easy on him!” Sheril begged following right behind me.

 

“No! I refuse to. I need some space from him. All he does is get up in my business and I can't take it!” I snap again leaving the room and head down the hallway. I suddenly felt nauseated and just wanted to sit back down again.

 

“He can't help it, he loves you!” Sheril pleaded quickening his pace and cut me off.

 

“Well he sure has one hell of way of showing it! If he loved me he wouldn't want to hurt me all the damn time!” I shout, my stomach hurt so much. Maybe I should go talk to Lulu Bell about this.

 

“That's because you won't give him a chance Kallen! I know if you did you would see he's not that bad of a person!” Sheril said grabbing onto my shoulders, I couldn't help the bored look I gave him. I could tell he was sweating bullets by now with how nervous he was. He knew I was about to come unglued but I was trying not to.

 

“Well...No offense to POOR Tyki but I don't love him and probably never will. All of you know this so spare me the theatrics and get out of my way.” I say all too sweetly, Sheril gives me a hard look and his grip on my shoulders tighten. I was probably in for it now.

 

“Then why are you here Walker, I won't let my brother be played.” Sheril said dangerously, but I wasn't frightened one bit.

 

“Played?! Excuse me but who was the asshole who raped me and made my life hell since before I even came! You all know I only gave up myself to free my sister so back off!” I say back just as dangerously as he did.

 

“Sheril that is enough!” Sheril releases me and turns around, I sigh in content when I see Road standing there glaring daggers at the crazy man.

 

“Road I'm just trying to get Kallen to see the light.” Sheril says and I couldn't help but stomp on his foot as I walk by and over to the girl.

 

“Yea well pestering her is causing her stress and you're not helping. If she looses the baby I'm blaming both you and your brother. Come on Kallen.” Road snapped before grabbing my hand and leading me down a hallway.

 

“Are you okay?” Road asked once we were far away enough and I shack my head no.

 

“Can you take me to Lulu Bell, I think something is wrong.” I tell her my hand on my swollen stomach, I was suddenly dizzy and I couldn't help but lean against the wall trying to not focus on it.

 

“Maybe I should get one of the twins so they can carry you. You're pale and sweaty. Did you eat today?” She asked and I nodded my head.

 

“Yes but I wasn't able to finish it, everything makes me nauseous.” I explain to her.

 

“When did this pain start?” She asked trying to help me to stand up straight again so we could get walking.

 

“A day after Tyki smacked me and I fell down the stairs.” I explain to her again suddenly I couldn't see straight.

 

“And you're just now telling someone! You idiot! Leero!” Road shouted and the umbrella appeared.

 

“Yes Lady Road?” It asked.

 

“I'm sorry for this Kallen. Leero go tell Jasdero and Devit to get over her right now to help me with Kallen. After that I need you to go get Tyki he should be here to.” She barked orders and soon the umbrella flew off to do what he was told to do. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain and my vision blacked out for a short moment. And then I felt a warm wetness rush down my legs. Looking down my eyes widened in fear and pain.

 

“Road....there's......there's blood on the floor.” I choke out and suddenly a sheering pain and I couldn't help but scream out.

 

“Shit! LULU BELL HELP!” Road screamed I suddenly felt myself lifted up into arms.

 

“Road run ahead now!” It was the Millennium Earl, everything was spinning and I couldn't focus. My stomach hurt so bad pains kept shooting through me.

 

“I'm sorry....I'm sorry!” I cried feeling tears running down my face.

 

“Shh everything is okay Kallen, just don't go into a panic.” He said forcing my head to rest on his shoulder in some way trying to comfort me. I couldn't help but cry. Everything was happening so fast, soon I was lying on a table and being injected with something.

 

“Kallen? KALLEN!” Road shouted and my world went black.

 

I knew where I was when my eyes opened to the blackness. I was in the dreamworld and I recognized the lights that I was seeing. Looking at myself I was happy to see myself as a boy again, this would make things a bit easier. But I didn't know how I was going to face them. This was going to be hard. So I went to the first of the three lights. Maybe seeing Cross first will be the easiest.

  
Cross's mind was just as black as mine, but that isn't what was unnerving. I could hear yelling in the background. The closer I got the louder I got and soon two people came into view. Obviously one of them was Cross but I was shocked to see Shaun standing there as well. Was this a dream or could Shaun dreamwalk to? I guess I was about to find out.

 

"Shishou?" I said outloud also making sure to keep distance.

 

"Allen, is that really you." He asks and the image of shaun disappears.

 

"Yea....it's me." I say grabbing onto my arm with my free hand nervously. I was glad that he was just having a dream and that Shaun wasn't really here.

 

"How much of that did you hear? Are yoy alright? You seem pail." He replies and walks over to me.

 

"I didn't make out what you were being screamed at about I just got here. I don't know if I'm fine. I'm unconscious and the Noahs are trying to help me. A lot has happened." I explain to him purposely leaving out that I was now a girl and pregnant. I wandered what was happening on the outside world.

 

"At least they are taking care of you when bad things happen but what has happened? Alot has happened here as well." He says and i can tell he misses me

 

I decided to lie to him. "I had a nasty fall down the stairs shishou nothing too major." I explain to him rubbing my arm now. I finally came to the decision and I was about to hate myself even more. I was about to prove Tyki right

 

"At least your only unconscious, but how close are you to escaping? Things are tough since you left." He tells me in a sad tone that makes me wonder what has happened in the order.

 

"Cross....I won't be escaping. I actually came her to tell you Asarina and Kanda to give up on me. What all has happened?" I ask hoping he will miss me telling him to give up. This may end badly.

 

"If you are going to tell Kanda that he may freak. As for Asarina, good luck finding her. She left the order about a week after the trade off. She almost killed Kanda and now Komui has himself convinced that all she was is a dream." He says trying not to get worked up. "I do know she went back home to China. Any attempt to talk to her by phone is not possible."

 

"I'll be able to talk to her I already located her dream light. She's the next person I'm visiting." I explain unable to look him in the eyes now.

 

"Allen, the dream world is what her the way she is now. They have people who can dream walk and will stop you from talking to her. Her mind needs to heal." He screams at me

 

"I know that, I saw her before her and Narul left. Cross, can you promise me something?" I ask ignoring that he just screamed at me

 

"Allen, i will promise you anything cause i know you will be back." He says in a calm tone.

 

"I'm telling you to give up because if I escape you'd never recognize me. I know you and Kanda will never give up. So promise me to always recognize me, please." I say finally looking up at him.

  
"Allen you are my apprentice and i will always recognize you. I promise i will." He says and hugs me

I couldn't help but smile and hug him back. "I'm glad, well I should get going I still have two more people to go see." I tell him looking down to my feet. I just hope Asarina doesn't punch me when I appear to her

 

"Be careful when you go to Asarina. I have no clue on how she is." He warns me.

 

"I'm always careful shishou." I tell him before pulling myself out of the dream. The next light I stood in front of I let out a sigh. Yea, this was going to be bad. So I took a deep breath and walked forward heading into Asarina's head.

 

  
Like the first time I entered Asarina's dream I was in some oriental palace. I felt kind of odd being here and I was beginning to have second thoughts but I needed to go through with this. I wasn't surprised when she came into view, she was sitting there so I knew she was probably meditating. Yea, I was probably going to die but it is so worth it. "Hey Asarina." I finally spoke up making sure to keep my distance as well.

 

I can tell she is deep in thought but eventually she stands up and turns to face me. "Allen?" She says almost as if she is questioning herself.

"Yea it's me. It's been a while hasn't it?" I ask linking my hands to behind my back.

 

"Why did you do it." She scearms at me and i know exactly what she is referring to. "You are a baka."

 

"I had to save you! I know what I was doing and I'm sorry!" I say instantly back, at least she wasn't punching me.

 

"You have to leave before they find you." She says looking around. "Im not supposed to be dream walking. If they find ill be dead. Im not fully here yet. I actually thought Kanda was Tyki. I dont even know if Kanda is alive." I see her hands go to her head and try to get relaxed.

 

"Its okay I'm not going to be here long. And Kanda is still alive I saw his dream light. Besides I only came here to tell you to give up on me." I tell her now looking away, if I didn't get punched earlier I probably was now

 

"Like hell i am. Once i recover. Narul and i are going to find you." She screams. "Who the hell is this boy." A voice says in the darkness.

 

I jump at the new voice and turn to see a girl standing there. This was bad. "I'm a friend I swear!" I say holding my hands up

 

"You should not be here." She says and i see Asarina stand in front of me.

 

"Move aside, my lady."

 

"No, this is my brother, Sara." Asarina says,

 

"Dont make me take you down" the girl named sara says.

 

"You know i an stronger than you" Asarina replies.

 

"Not in this state." She yells back. In that split second a light came from Asarina's hands and pushed the girl out.

 

"I probably should go, I got you into trouble." I say looking down, this has definitely been an interesting night so far

 

'It would be for the best. I refuse to listen to your statement and give up. I promise you this, Kalira will get to know you cause she will meet you one day." She tells me and i can see that Tyki was wrong about her not being able to come back. Slowly she was and i was not going to tell him at all. He would find out for himself.

 

"I'm glad, well hopefully we see each other soon. NOw i have to go visit Kanda." I say trying to give her my best smile.

  
"Good luck and word of advice. Dont dream walk to much or you could end up like me." She says and then vanishes. Probably Kalira woke and that was fine with me. I hope i will be able to see Kalira someday. I left her dreamworld and went back to the black space and went into the other light. This was the one person I wanted to see the most.

 

Kanda was sitting in his own mind surrounded by the blackness meditating. I could only stand there and smile. It was so like him to meditate within his own mind. I wander how mad he is at me for what I did. Wandering makes me afraid of wanting to go and disturb him. Sighing I walk over until I am by him and I lay myself down resting my head in his lap. I close my eyes and take a deep breath when I feel hands brushing through my hair.

 

“Your alive.” He says and I roll onto my back to look up at him.

 

“For the moment yes.” I answer reaching my hands up and cupping his cheek.

 

“What happened?” He asks and I can only sigh. I sit myself up and bring my knees up to myself and sigh.

 

“Kanda I am going to tell you the same thing I told Cross.” I begin to say wrapping my arms around my legs. “Give up on me.” I say and I feel his arms tightly circle around me.

 

“I will never give up on you Moyashi. You're mine and that's final. I will get you back.” He says and I smile sadly knowing I wasn't going to be able to convince him. I lean back and tilt my head back until I could see some of his hair. My head was resting on his shoulder.

 

“Even if you found me Kanda you would never be able to recognize me. It's just better if you move on and forget about me.” I tell him again, in an instant I find myself laying on my back and Kanda straddling me.

 

“I will never give up Allen you can count on that!” He says before he is leaning forward and kissing me, I raise my arms and wrap them around his shoulders lifting myself up so I can get closer to him. I felt the tears leak from my eyes and I couldn't help but break the kiss when the sobs broke through.

 

“I want you Kanda, everything is hell for me.” I cry out burying my face into his shoulder and just began to cry harder. Kanda kept his arms wrapped around me holding me close to him.

 

“I will get you back and once I do you will never have to worry about being scared ever again.” He says and I nod my head. Slowly he began to vanish and I knew I was waking up, I tightened my hold around him not wanting to leave but I knew it was inevitable. I hated life so much right now.

 

I opened my eyes and saw that I was still in the infirmary, my whole body ached, looking around I saw that my old clothes were in a basket and still covered in blood. I bit my lip and looked down noticing that I was wearing a pair of black pajama pants and a white t-shirt. It made me wander on who changed my clothes, most likely Road did. I feel another onslaught of tears come forth and I begin to sob, this time because I lost my first child and it made me very sad. I curled up into a ball and just cried. I felt arms wrap around me and I am pulled into someones lap. I didn't care who it was I just wrapped my arms around them and cried.

 

“I'm sorry Kallen.” Tyki said softly

 

I would forever be alone now and forever. But I swore I would find my way back to Kanda and my family even if it meant giving up and behaving for Tyki. I would get back, one way or another.

 

You can count on that.

 

 

 

_ **To be continued.....** _

 


End file.
